Abusive Parent(s)?

Have you been abused by a parent?

Yes, my dad	17.9%	[ 15 ]
Yes, my mom	23.8%	[ 20 ]
Yes, both	23.8%	[ 20 ]
No, but I'm here to offer advice	15.5%	[ 13 ]
I just want gold...	19.0%	[ 16 ]
Total Votes:			[ 84 ]

[29Dreams]

Reiko Iwamaru

AngelsDreadedFear

Reiko Iwamaru

I was pretty much under the leverage of emotional abuse under my mom. Oh gosh just ask me of EVERY single time she poured random bullshit down my throats. She stopped though after I was officially diagnosed with ASD, and I always told the therapists that mom's behavior always made me feel like s**t. So I guess me finally being diagnosed had to serve as a brick to the brain. It was brick to brain too late.

Now she's wondering WHY I still don't trust her, WHY I'm snappy with her. Simple: she was snappy with me for all of those years, and ridiculed me. She's wondering WHY I have such low self-esteem, why I'm scared to talk or do anything...because mom shut that all down in the past.

I was already really shy person even before the abuse started. She just worsened it.

Also, dad used to constantly tease me up until the diagnosis then he kind of lessened it down a bit. Mom lessened down her behavior as well.

But is dad's teasing counting as emotional or mental abuse? Because I have trouble keeping my lips closed physically and he would mock me for that. And because I had genes of having a slightly larger bum, he would tease me for that and it would make me so self-conscious. He also teases me on not being social. I really like to eat alone, and whenever I don't join them at the dinner table, he says I'm a "communist" and honestly it makes me feel like s**t everytime even if I don't give a response.

I have told him to "shut the ******** up" before, because he kept teasing me and harassing me so excessively one day that I just let everything out on him and told him to shut up. I literally couldn't take it that day anymore.

Now my parents why I don't trust them as much anymore, and why I shut myself off from them slightly, and why I don't tell them anything (I only told dad about my now ex-boyfriend because he is actually more mentally stable and accepting than my mom is, but since he has really bad memory I think he has forgotten that...).

That really sucks. I guess you gotta do what makes you feel good and live a better life with whatever you do. I completely understand. I don't trust my dad anymore. I have a half brother on my dad's side and he has a wonderful family now and has nothing to do with our dad. They haven't spoken in so many years. I want to be that way but my mom and her boyfriend keep pushing me to hang out with him. My dad is still, to this day, abusive to me mentally.

I hope things work out with you. Best of luck.

Yeah. I just don't trust my parents for anything anymore. I really don't. I'd rather solve everything myself. Thanks though ^ ^

Yeah I saw your posts about your dad. God he shouldn't even be CALLED a dad. After he acts like that, and still treats you badly? Oh, screw him. I don't mean to be rude, I'm sorry, but it's true. Just...screw him.

I say just don't hang out with dad at all. If they push, just say flat out "no I'm not going to" and leave it at that. If they want you to go out somewhere, fine. You can go out somewhere....just without dad. emotion_awesome I mean why spend time with a person who treats you like crap? That makes zero sense! You can go out just without him. He doesn't deserve to have a chocolate chip sundae, and still won't ever be approved for one. You need one though *gives you a sundae*

I wish there was a sundae gaia smiley. emotion_kirakira

I seriously lol'd. Yeah he should not be a father at all, course if he wasn't I would not be here. Being alive/born is the only good thing that he has done. You are not being rude, I say screw him as well. Thanks so much, you have raised my spirits up. And thank you for the sundae. It is good. Lol
I agree, gaia should have a sundae smiley. Sure would make people happy.

Again, thank you so much. You have helped me out so much and you have made me happy. biggrin

[Reiko Iwamaru]

AngelsDreadedFear

Reiko Iwamaru

AngelsDreadedFear

Reiko Iwamaru

I was pretty much under the leverage of emotional abuse under my mom. Oh gosh just ask me of EVERY single time she poured random bullshit down my throats. She stopped though after I was officially diagnosed with ASD, and I always told the therapists that mom's behavior always made me feel like s**t. So I guess me finally being diagnosed had to serve as a brick to the brain. It was brick to brain too late.

Now she's wondering WHY I still don't trust her, WHY I'm snappy with her. Simple: she was snappy with me for all of those years, and ridiculed me. She's wondering WHY I have such low self-esteem, why I'm scared to talk or do anything...because mom shut that all down in the past.

I was already really shy person even before the abuse started. She just worsened it.

Also, dad used to constantly tease me up until the diagnosis then he kind of lessened it down a bit. Mom lessened down her behavior as well.

But is dad's teasing counting as emotional or mental abuse? Because I have trouble keeping my lips closed physically and he would mock me for that. And because I had genes of having a slightly larger bum, he would tease me for that and it would make me so self-conscious. He also teases me on not being social. I really like to eat alone, and whenever I don't join them at the dinner table, he says I'm a "communist" and honestly it makes me feel like s**t everytime even if I don't give a response.

I have told him to "shut the ******** up" before, because he kept teasing me and harassing me so excessively one day that I just let everything out on him and told him to shut up. I literally couldn't take it that day anymore.

Now my parents why I don't trust them as much anymore, and why I shut myself off from them slightly, and why I don't tell them anything (I only told dad about my now ex-boyfriend because he is actually more mentally stable and accepting than my mom is, but since he has really bad memory I think he has forgotten that...).

That really sucks. I guess you gotta do what makes you feel good and live a better life with whatever you do. I completely understand. I don't trust my dad anymore. I have a half brother on my dad's side and he has a wonderful family now and has nothing to do with our dad. They haven't spoken in so many years. I want to be that way but my mom and her boyfriend keep pushing me to hang out with him. My dad is still, to this day, abusive to me mentally.

I hope things work out with you. Best of luck.

Yeah. I just don't trust my parents for anything anymore. I really don't. I'd rather solve everything myself. Thanks though ^ ^

Yeah I saw your posts about your dad. God he shouldn't even be CALLED a dad. After he acts like that, and still treats you badly? Oh, screw him. I don't mean to be rude, I'm sorry, but it's true. Just...screw him.

I say just don't hang out with dad at all. If they push, just say flat out "no I'm not going to" and leave it at that. If they want you to go out somewhere, fine. You can go out somewhere....just without dad. emotion_awesome I mean why spend time with a person who treats you like crap? That makes zero sense! You can go out just without him. He doesn't deserve to have a chocolate chip sundae, and still won't ever be approved for one. You need one though *gives you a sundae*

I wish there was a sundae gaia smiley. emotion_kirakira

I seriously lol'd. Yeah he should not be a father at all, course if he wasn't I would not be here. Being alive/born is the only good thing that he has done. You are not being rude, I say screw him as well. Thanks so much, you have raised my spirits up. And thank you for the sundae. It is good. Lol
I agree, gaia should have a sundae smiley. Sure would make people happy.

Again, thank you so much. You have helped me out so much and you have made me happy. biggrin

Hmm true...he could have done more to keep that title, but noooooope. >: /

Ooh okay. I just wasn't sure. I wanted to stay polite. ^ ^ And no prob. ^ ^ glad your spirits are raised!

The only downside about that sundae is...is that it's virtual...I wish it was real. gonk you know talking about sundaes made me hungry but I can't make one because I don't have any ice-cream
*swoons with woe*

[Ninja kyuubi13]

AngelsDreadedFear

Ninja kyuubi13

AngelsDreadedFear

Ninja kyuubi13

AngelsDreadedFear

Ninja kyuubi13

I had/have an abusive mother she'd take all her hatred out on me. Physically and mentally what ever she would grab would be what she'd hit me with. It eventually got to the point where I would just ball up and take the hits just to get it over with. She'd also call me fat and ugly at varius family gatherings.This only happened to me out of 3 of my other siblings. If I came home an hour late I'd get the crap beaten out of me but if my sister came home hours later and drunk (underage at the time) it was all ok. I eventually left home at 19 with my bf after she punched me and kicked me for joking about not washing the dishes. She called the cops on me telling them I was hitting her even though I was the one bleeding. She also took 2 thousand dollars from me that I was using for college.


Edit: ahhhh sorry for ranting I don't get this off my chest often

I think the proper thing to do in this thread is to rant. So, don't be sorry. You are telling your story. I am sorry your mom was so abusive. It is not right and I hope you have learned to mentally get past it and move on to a better life.

Thankfully Im alot happier now. Of course, she still calls me to tell me who bad of a child I am for not calling her and such but at this point I just don't care anymore.

I am glad that you are happier. You just gotta get away from all the negativity to live a good healthy life. You really shouldn't have to deal with your mom being so rude.

Yeah I didnt know how great it felt to be free from all that. I only keep in contact with her because I worry about my little brother he's constantly left alone I know hes old enough to take care of himself, but at the same time I know he gets lonely being by himself.

I am so happy to know that you still care for your brother. If he is very young then he really shouldn't be left alone. No offense(which I don't think I will offend...I sure hope not) but, that is bad parenting by your mom. Is your brother safe?

Hes 17 but hes never been home by himself till recently so he doesnt really know how to handle himself or cook for himself. So I know half the time hes hungry. I try to go over when my mother is gone long term so I can be there for him. Yeah shes never been a great mom she always rather take care of herself than her kids.

[flauterfli]

I haven't personally, and I'm sorry for those of you that have. sad

A close friend of mine in middle school was horrifically abused by her mother.
She would show up the class covered in bruises
She didn't try to hide them and was frank with the teachers about what was going on
But the state wouldn't take custody rights from her mother for years
until she wound up in ICU after being nearly strangled to death, with a concussion and cig burn marks all over her body.
She was finally placed in foster care at that point, and in high school was adopted by a loving family.

That woman, her mother, was charged with neglect but never served time for it
And from what I last heard she STILL has custody of the younger siblings
...who she apparently never abused physically but certainly mentally and emotionally
yet that's not enough for her to lose custody of them.

It just ticks me off so bad.
My mom would call the cops whenever my friend came over with those bruises
And she'd spend the night with us and other friends for over a week
Until her grandma would come pick her up and b***h at the parents for trying to "kidnap" her
and there was nothing we could legally do to stop that old hag from taking her back home
(today I might have beat the s**t out of her mother, maybe not the grandma but definitely the mom)
I still don't understand what took so long for the issue to be resolved

[Raven Winter]

It's actually one of the reasons I wanted to be a knight as a kid. In my simplistic child mind, I figured I'd learn how to use a sword, kill my dad, and then fin, happy ending for everyone.
I actually have only sparse memories of my childhood. I don't remember a lot of important events, like the times I was homeless, living in a car on a lake, or the... three(?) times I was kidnapped. Don't remember those at all. Don't remember trying to kill anyone, but apparently I did. Don't remember the night my dad broke my mom's arm for not letting him make my brother's out-of-state friend walk home on my brother's 11th birthday, in winter, though I know the story well enough. I do remember things like having to choose my punishment for things and then if it wasn't harsh enough, having to choose a new one, now harsher than before to punish me for failing to choose well the first time. I remember being locked in a room until I figured out how to tie my shoes for asking for help at the wrong time (I actually still double-knot them, an artifact of that experience). I remember being terrified and filled with rage, hating my dad, hating the world for claiming to be good while allowing that to go on, believing at an early age that humans were just evil amd needed to die. Hating myself for being weak, although I wasn't aware of it at the time. Hating... everything.

-----

So I wrote a long tangent and then deleted it. The essence was that my hatred of everything eventually manifested as a very dark, blood-fascinated, sadistic, and potentially murderous persona that I had to come to terms with to become a functioning and reasonably ethical human being, and that while I have done so (it still exists but is extremely marginalized and poses no danger, so I consider it "dealt with''), I'm a little bitter about the fact that it was even a thing in the first place.

-----

I don't have many memories of my mom that predate 6th grade, though she was always around. She was even the only parent present during the periods of homelessness; she'd grab my sister and I and the three of us would run.

I kind of envy those with real childhood memories. I just have trivia facts and sometimes pictures. For example, I know the layout of my elementary school. I can picture it as a 3D environment, and move through it in my mind. I know a couple of the things I did there. I don't have any actual memories that take place there, though.
It's the same with pretty much everything up until I'm 11, my parents separate, and I leave with my mom.

I did end up becoming a... moderately decent swordsman, incidentally. That ended up being what I adopted as a purpose.

[Astra the Fae]

My mom's pretty much emotionally, psychologically and mentally abusive towards me.

She's always been critical of me and trying to dictate things in my life. No matter what I do, i'm a piece of s**t.

For example, if I don't fix the static in my hair after multiple attempts of brushing my hair then I never brush my hair in her eyes. If I sit in a certain light then my teeth are yellow and I need to whiten them. If I use the wring type of shampoo and it makes my hair oily then I didn't wash my hair at all.And if its windy then I didnt brush my hair.

If I dont do something she wants then i'm lazy and dont show initiative. For example, she tells me to get drive time when I havent driven in months. Most driving places in Texas require you practice with your parents. No she says that they will fully teach me.

But ever since I was 18; she's told me how great and wonderful life was before me. When I tried to be logical and say hey I want to get practice with my dad...she went off on me telling me to stop living in a fantasy world and that my dad wont do it and that I ruined her life.

Second time she's went off on me for being an adult concerning driving. That because I dont feel comfortable with driving on the road. There are times in the past when i've ignored her becauae of her attitude and she's said that I'm a mute and should live in a group home because i'm mentally challenged.

I know she's probably mentally ill. Whats funny is that she tries to prove that she's sane and normal. Despite all of this.That she has to yell at me because I dont listen.

I just want to get used to driving, fix the restriction of having a licensed driver over 21 in the car with me on my license, and move out before March 1st. Because that's when my parents want to move to Arizona. I may hate Texas but i'm not dealing with my toxic mother. I'm ******** done.

[digirap]

Sexual abuse from 3 original trauma persons (one was ritual abuse as well), physically/emotionally abusive alcoholic and drug addicted narcissist (diagnosed) mom.

Anyone else here dissociative from childhood trauma?

[Reiko Iwamaru]

Astra Green

My mom's pretty much emotionally, psychologically and mentally abusive towards me.

She's always been critical of me and trying to dictate things in my life. No matter what I do, i'm a piece of s**t.

For example, if I don't fix the static in my hair after multiple attempts of brushing my hair then I never brush my hair in her eyes. If I sit in a certain light then my teeth are yellow and I need to whiten them. If I use the wring type of shampoo and it makes my hair oily then I didn't wash my hair at all.And if its windy then I didnt brush my hair.

If I dont do something she wants then i'm lazy and dont show initiative. For example, she tells me to get drive time when I havent driven in months. Most driving places in Texas require you practice with your parents. No she says that they will fully teach me.

But ever since I was 18; she's told me how great and wonderful life was before me. When I tried to be logical and say hey I want to get practice with my dad...she went off on me telling me to stop living in a fantasy world and that my dad wont do it and that I ruined her life.

Second time she's went off on me for being an adult concerning driving. That because I dont feel comfortable with driving on the road. There are times in the past when i've ignored her becauae of her attitude and she's said that I'm a mute and should live in a group home because i'm mentally challenged.

I know she's probably mentally ill. Whats funny is that she tries to prove that she's sane and normal. Despite all of this.That she has to yell at me because I dont listen.

I just want to get used to driving, fix the restriction of having a licensed driver over 21 in the car with me on my license, and move out before March 1st. Because that's when my parents want to move to Arizona. I may hate Texas but i'm not dealing with my toxic mother. I'm ******** done.

Wow. Your mom sounds like a way bigger b***h than mine. I thought mine was annoying as ******** but damn she just stole the record.

Yes. Do it. Move out. She's not worth your love, your attention or anything. If she's going to treat you like crap, then it's her fault that she automatically lost her daughter. Yeah she's going to complain about how you "don't love her, don't keep contact" and all this s**t, but let her complain. She's a horrible, horrible person who deserves not even the slightest respect for her behavior, and she deserves a nice, pile of "I am never gonna talk to you again".

I hope your moving out plans and everything goes very well for you. Hang in there emotion_hug

[The Neon Paradox]

I work in foster care with children who have difficult behaviour and cannot be put up for adoption at present. I work for an MTFC (Multidimensional Treatment Foster Care) team, and while I mainly work with foster carers (though its for the children), I do have contact with the children. Knowing their backgrounds and what they've suffered, seeing them act like other kids from time to time just proves how strong people can be. When they share with me, give hugs, ask me to play with them, and talk about their favourite things, for a moment its like being with any other child. When they revert to their distressing behaviours, it helps reaffirm in my mind about what we do to help them and to fight for more of those good times. These kids have had placement breakdowns before, so its important that we don't give up on them.

[britt1110]

I have an abusive grandmother and I lived with her and my mom all of my life until 10th grade. It's wasn't really physical abuse, but it was horrible mental/emotional abuse. On top of the mental abuse I recieved from peers AND teachers growing up, to go home and deal with her was just terrible. Even if the attack wasn't toward me, to sit there and listen to her tear apart her other children was just enough. It was worse when she kicked me and my mom out when she knew we had no place to go because when she finally did decide to take us back in, I always lived with that fear that it would happen again and it definitely had an effect on the way I lived my life. I was scared that anything I did would send her off and she would put us out again.

I can only imangine if my mom turned out to be like her, and if what some of you with abusive parents even comes close to what I had to experience, I'm so sorry and I hope you're in a better place with your life.

[29Dreams]

Reiko Iwamaru

AngelsDreadedFear

Reiko Iwamaru

AngelsDreadedFear

Reiko Iwamaru

I was pretty much under the leverage of emotional abuse under my mom. Oh gosh just ask me of EVERY single time she poured random bullshit down my throats. She stopped though after I was officially diagnosed with ASD, and I always told the therapists that mom's behavior always made me feel like s**t. So I guess me finally being diagnosed had to serve as a brick to the brain. It was brick to brain too late.

Now she's wondering WHY I still don't trust her, WHY I'm snappy with her. Simple: she was snappy with me for all of those years, and ridiculed me. She's wondering WHY I have such low self-esteem, why I'm scared to talk or do anything...because mom shut that all down in the past.

I was already really shy person even before the abuse started. She just worsened it.

Also, dad used to constantly tease me up until the diagnosis then he kind of lessened it down a bit. Mom lessened down her behavior as well.

But is dad's teasing counting as emotional or mental abuse? Because I have trouble keeping my lips closed physically and he would mock me for that. And because I had genes of having a slightly larger bum, he would tease me for that and it would make me so self-conscious. He also teases me on not being social. I really like to eat alone, and whenever I don't join them at the dinner table, he says I'm a "communist" and honestly it makes me feel like s**t everytime even if I don't give a response.

I have told him to "shut the ******** up" before, because he kept teasing me and harassing me so excessively one day that I just let everything out on him and told him to shut up. I literally couldn't take it that day anymore.

Now my parents why I don't trust them as much anymore, and why I shut myself off from them slightly, and why I don't tell them anything (I only told dad about my now ex-boyfriend because he is actually more mentally stable and accepting than my mom is, but since he has really bad memory I think he has forgotten that...).

That really sucks. I guess you gotta do what makes you feel good and live a better life with whatever you do. I completely understand. I don't trust my dad anymore. I have a half brother on my dad's side and he has a wonderful family now and has nothing to do with our dad. They haven't spoken in so many years. I want to be that way but my mom and her boyfriend keep pushing me to hang out with him. My dad is still, to this day, abusive to me mentally.

I hope things work out with you. Best of luck.

Yeah. I just don't trust my parents for anything anymore. I really don't. I'd rather solve everything myself. Thanks though ^ ^

Yeah I saw your posts about your dad. God he shouldn't even be CALLED a dad. After he acts like that, and still treats you badly? Oh, screw him. I don't mean to be rude, I'm sorry, but it's true. Just...screw him.

I say just don't hang out with dad at all. If they push, just say flat out "no I'm not going to" and leave it at that. If they want you to go out somewhere, fine. You can go out somewhere....just without dad. emotion_awesome I mean why spend time with a person who treats you like crap? That makes zero sense! You can go out just without him. He doesn't deserve to have a chocolate chip sundae, and still won't ever be approved for one. You need one though *gives you a sundae*

I wish there was a sundae gaia smiley. emotion_kirakira

I seriously lol'd. Yeah he should not be a father at all, course if he wasn't I would not be here. Being alive/born is the only good thing that he has done. You are not being rude, I say screw him as well. Thanks so much, you have raised my spirits up. And thank you for the sundae. It is good. Lol
I agree, gaia should have a sundae smiley. Sure would make people happy.

Again, thank you so much. You have helped me out so much and you have made me happy. biggrin

Hmm true...he could have done more to keep that title, but noooooope. >: /

Ooh okay. I just wasn't sure. I wanted to stay polite. ^ ^ And no prob. ^ ^ glad your spirits are raised!

The only downside about that sundae is...is that it's virtual...I wish it was real. gonk you know talking about sundaes made me hungry but I can't make one because I don't have any ice-cream
*swoons with woe*

Lol, you've got me craving a sundae now.

[29Dreams]

Ninja kyuubi13

AngelsDreadedFear

Ninja kyuubi13

AngelsDreadedFear

Ninja kyuubi13

Thankfully Im alot happier now. Of course, she still calls me to tell me who bad of a child I am for not calling her and such but at this point I just don't care anymore.

I am glad that you are happier. You just gotta get away from all the negativity to live a good healthy life. You really shouldn't have to deal with your mom being so rude.

Yeah I didnt know how great it felt to be free from all that. I only keep in contact with her because I worry about my little brother he's constantly left alone I know hes old enough to take care of himself, but at the same time I know he gets lonely being by himself.

I am so happy to know that you still care for your brother. If he is very young then he really shouldn't be left alone. No offense(which I don't think I will offend...I sure hope not) but, that is bad parenting by your mom. Is your brother safe?

Hes 17 but hes never been home by himself till recently so he doesnt really know how to handle himself or cook for himself. So I know half the time hes hungry. I try to go over when my mother is gone long term so I can be there for him. Yeah she's never been a great mom she always rather take care of herself than her kids.

That's so sad. Well at least you have your brother and you are truly exceptional when you take care of him. You care and love him and I am sure that is all he could ever ask for, a wonderful sis. I am sorry that your mom only cares for herself. That is so wrong. I hope you know that you are not alone an your life, as well as your brother's life, is not a mistake. Is there any way your brother can move out. I don't know the living situation but could he live with you so he has a proper person to love and care for him?

[29Dreams]

flauterfli

I haven't personally, and I'm sorry for those of you that have. sad

A close friend of mine in middle school was horrifically abused by her mother.
She would show up the class covered in bruises
She didn't try to hide them and was frank with the teachers about what was going on
But the state wouldn't take custody rights from her mother for years
until she wound up in ICU after being nearly strangled to death, with a concussion and cig burn marks all over her body.
She was finally placed in foster care at that point, and in high school was adopted by a loving family.

That woman, her mother, was charged with neglect but never served time for it
And from what I last heard she STILL has custody of the younger siblings
...who she apparently never abused physically but certainly mentally and emotionally
yet that's not enough for her to lose custody of them.

It just ticks me off so bad.
My mom would call the cops whenever my friend came over with those bruises
And she'd spend the night with us and other friends for over a week
Until her grandma would come pick her up and b***h at the parents for trying to "kidnap" her
and there was nothing we could legally do to stop that old hag from taking her back home
(today I might have beat the s**t out of her mother, maybe not the grandma but definitely the mom)
I still don't understand what took so long for the issue to be resolved

That is highly unusual that social services did not help sooner. It is obvious, when you explained, that she was in turmoil and seeing the buses should have raised a big red flag. I am shocked, I have never heard of the social services not acting at the proper time. I wish that the mom would get into trouble for all this. I completely understand that you are ticked about all of it. Your friend is lucky to have someone who does care about her,,,you. But you posted that there are others. Have they been taken care of? Are they in any danger?

[29Dreams]

Raven Winter

It's actually one of the reasons I wanted to be a knight as a kid. In my simplistic child mind, I figured I'd learn how to use a sword, kill my dad, and then fin, happy ending for everyone.
I actually have only sparse memories of my childhood. I don't remember a lot of important events, like the times I was homeless, living in a car on a lake, or the... three(?) times I was kidnapped. Don't remember those at all. Don't remember trying to kill anyone, but apparently I did. Don't remember the night my dad broke my mom's arm for not letting him make my brother's out-of-state friend walk home on my brother's 11th birthday, in winter, though I know the story well enough. I do remember things like having to choose my punishment for things and then if it wasn't harsh enough, having to choose a new one, now harsher than before to punish me for failing to choose well the first time. I remember being locked in a room until I figured out how to tie my shoes for asking for help at the wrong time (I actually still double-knot them, an artifact of that experience). I remember being terrified and filled with rage, hating my dad, hating the world for claiming to be good while allowing that to go on, believing at an early age that humans were just evil amd needed to die. Hating myself for being weak, although I wasn't aware of it at the time. Hating... everything.

-----

So I wrote a long tangent and then deleted it. The essence was that my hatred of everything eventually manifested as a very dark, blood-fascinated, sadistic, and potentially murderous persona that I had to come to terms with to become a functioning and reasonably ethical human being, and that while I have done so (it still exists but is extremely marginalized and poses no danger, so I consider it "dealt with''), I'm a little bitter about the fact that it was even a thing in the first place.

-----

I don't have many memories of my mom that predate 6th grade, though she was always around. She was even the only parent present during the periods of homelessness; she'd grab my sister and I and the three of us would run.

I kind of envy those with real childhood memories. I just have trivia facts and sometimes pictures. For example, I know the layout of my elementary school. I can picture it as a 3D environment, and move through it in my mind. I know a couple of the things I did there. I don't have any actual memories that take place there, though.
It's the same with pretty much everything up until I'm 11, my parents separate, and I leave with my mom.

I did end up becoming a... moderately decent swordsman, incidentally. That ended up being what I adopted as a purpose.

Wow, that was insane. I am sorry you had to go through all that. It seems very traumatic. I am curious about how you don't remember much. I have a question and if you don't want to answer I will understand, but do you have any mental issues that you know of? I am curious to know if you have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder(PTSD), or any other mental problems. It is not normal to not remember all of that. How have you been doing lately?

[Ninja kyuubi13]

AngelsDreadedFear

Ninja kyuubi13

AngelsDreadedFear

Ninja kyuubi13

AngelsDreadedFear

Ninja kyuubi13

Thankfully Im alot happier now. Of course, she still calls me to tell me who bad of a child I am for not calling her and such but at this point I just don't care anymore.

I am glad that you are happier. You just gotta get away from all the negativity to live a good healthy life. You really shouldn't have to deal with your mom being so rude.

Yeah I didnt know how great it felt to be free from all that. I only keep in contact with her because I worry about my little brother he's constantly left alone I know hes old enough to take care of himself, but at the same time I know he gets lonely being by himself.

I am so happy to know that you still care for your brother. If he is very young then he really shouldn't be left alone. No offense(which I don't think I will offend...I sure hope not) but, that is bad parenting by your mom. Is your brother safe?

Hes 17 but hes never been home by himself till recently so he doesnt really know how to handle himself or cook for himself. So I know half the time hes hungry. I try to go over when my mother is gone long term so I can be there for him. Yeah she's never been a great mom she always rather take care of herself than her kids.

That's so sad. Well at least you have your brother and you are truly exceptional when you take care of him. You care and love him and I am sure that is all he could ever ask for, a wonderful sis. I am sorry that your mom only cares for herself. That is so wrong. I hope you know that you are not alone an your life, as well as your brother's life, is not a mistake. Is there any way your brother can move out. I don't know the living situation but could he live with you so he has a proper person to love and care for him?

Honestly, Im not sure he sees it that way. I feel like he resents me for leaving. That doesnt stop me from worrying though. We (bf and i) arent sure I've mentioned I want to take him in once he graduates, but I think my brother plans on going to college with my sister. Which isnt too much of a problem other than they tend to yell at each other alot. I know my sister will take care of him with the occasional argument. But the whole thing depends on where he wants to go to college. Thank you so much btw it makes me feel alot better talking about these issues.