A question for Gay/lesbian/trans/bisexuals etc!

[Misty_Mystix]

Chiriyum

First of all, let me say that I love you guys <3 You make the world such a happy place ;u; i wish I had a gay best friend!
Anyway, I actually just thought about this. I had a friend who used to date guys, and then, when she had her recent break up, she went gay.
Um... well
I heard that being gay/bisexual etc was not a CHOICE, rather you were born like that.
I mean, if it's like... You can TURN gay, but you cant go back to straight, then.. that's something I never knew before...
Im so confused. Can anyone just turn gay?
I might be a little ignorant right now, but honestly, im just confused as hell.
What do you guys think?
Yes? No?
Do some people find it ignorant when people just turn gay or bisexual out of the blue?
Is there an age when someone should know exactly what they want?

She was most likely always bisexual, but she didn't act upon it because her attraction to women may not have been nearly as strong as her attraction to men until she got fed up with the opposite sex to try the same sex. A bisexual can be more interested in the same sex at a certain point than later have their feelings shift more strongly to the opposite sex, and back again later.

[mickaylaanime]

♥Chiri, I know you mean really well and I love you so ridiculously much, but some terminologies are offensive to the LGBT+ community. Tranny is not really an acceptable term, trans is usually okay. And just watch out about saying you want a gay best friend, considering that being gay isn't really a lifestyle, it's just a sexual preference. c: I know you meant well, so that's why I'm not being as rude or disrespectful as other folks in this thread.

You can't really "turn" gay. I don't really believe it's something you're born with, and I also agree that it's not a chosen thing. I think it develops as you grow older, hence why some people are bicurious. Sometimes it seems right for people to go from one sex/gender to another after a bad experience, but in the end it shows itself.

Perhaps your friend has really liked men and women all along. Perhaps a man could have scarred her emotionally hard enough that she has no interest in dating men in the future. It's all up to her, and is inevitably her choice in the end. Sometimes questioning it isn't really a good way to approach it. Just support her and love her for who she is, regardless of who she dates or interacts with.

[Brain Weasels]

You're not born gay, but it's not a choice either. It's something that develops over time, and your social environment affects it quite a bit.

[RyaZombie]

Chiriyum

I love you guys <3 You make the world such a happy place ;u; i wish I had a gay best friend!

emotion_eyebrow

FYI, a person's sexuality doesn't make them better than anyone else. Or any nicer.

[MarigoldMari]

Tranny is not a nice word o: say "trans" or "transperson". My friend says "transie" and I'm still not sure about that one.

You friend may be experimenting and/or bisexual and/or might have figured out she wants to date women. You can't just out of the blue be turned on by women (goes for anybody) but you can try to see if you are, or choose to date women on an emotional level if your partner is okay with that (can't see anybody wanting to date somebody if they didn't think they were beautiful though). Could be a number of things. Why not ask her why she's dating a girl now? That's the best way to know for sure and the answers to your questions.

Btw, I appreciate that you think LGBT people make the world a happy place, but as an ally you should probably read up/interview LGBT about how one is LGBT, how it works etc. You said quite a few things that are headscratchers.

Once again, do not say the word "tranny". Its like calling a gay man a "f*****t" or a lesbian a "dyke". Not nice.

Some people just know they're LGBT at a young age and roll with it because it feels very natural. Some struggle to figure out what is going on as they get older. Typically by the mid-twenties we know, but I think inside we always know just like how straight people know they're straight or a cisgender person knows they're cis. But we struggle and deny deny deny due to societal constraints, some places worse than others and then there's our own personal morals to struggle with. Etc.

[This Is NoMercy]

Your friend probably realized she was gay, because she wasn't attracted to any of the guys she was dating. You don't just wake up one day and go "well I'm gay now!!" It's something you realize over time

[Chiriyum]

PantsOnHeadTard

apathetic frost173

AmberSkyeF

apathetic frost173

Chiriyum

First of all, let me say that I love you guys <3 You make the world such a happy place ;u; i wish I had a gay best friend!

wtf

Wft indeed. That sounds like you just want a token gay friend

Thank you! I wanted to say that but couldn't find the words

тнє тєям ƒσя ѕυ¢н α ωσмαη ιѕ "ƒαg-нαg"

Lol wow geez
Thats just by opinion
The gay men ive met are usually really nice.
No need to criticize my opinion rolleyes

[Chiriyum]

mickaylaanime

♥Chiri, I know you mean really well and I love you so ridiculously much, but some terminologies are offensive to the LGBT+ community. Tranny is not really an acceptable term, trans is usually okay. And just watch out about saying you want a gay best friend, considering that being gay isn't really a lifestyle, it's just a sexual preference. c: I know you meant well, so that's why I'm not being as rude or disrespectful as other folks in this thread.

You can't really "turn" gay. I don't really believe it's something you're born with, and I also agree that it's not a chosen thing. I think it develops as you grow older, hence why some people are bicurious. Sometimes it seems right for people to go from one sex/gender to another after a bad experience, but in the end it shows itself.

Perhaps your friend has really liked men and women all along. Perhaps a man could have scarred her emotionally hard enough that she has no interest in dating men in the future. It's all up to her, and is inevitably her choice in the end. Sometimes questioning it isn't really a good way to approach it. Just support her and love her for who she is, regardless of who she dates or interacts with.

Im sorry :c
Ive only met one trans person in my life and they like to be called tranny, so i thought that was the proper term, but i guess not emo . So what should i say about wanting a friend who likes the same sex? Im like even more confused now emo

[Chiriyum]

MarigoldMari

Tranny is not a nice word o: say "trans" or "transperson". My friend says "transie" and I'm still not sure about that one.

You friend may be experimenting and/or bisexual and/or might have figured out she wants to date women. You can't just out of the blue be turned on by women (goes for anybody) but you can try to see if you are, or choose to date women on an emotional level if your partner is okay with that (can't see anybody wanting to date somebody if they didn't think they were beautiful though). Could be a number of things. Why not ask her why she's dating a girl now? That's the best way to know for sure and the answers to your questions.

Btw, I appreciate that you think LGBT people make the world a happy place, but as an ally you should probably read up/interview LGBT about how one is LGBT, how it works etc. You said quite a few things that are headscratchers.

Once again, do not say the word "tranny". Its like calling a gay man a "f*****t" or a lesbian a "dyke". Not nice.

Some people just know they're LGBT at a young age and roll with it because it feels very natural. Some struggle to figure out what is going on as they get older. Typically by the mid-twenties we know, but I think inside we always know just like how straight people know they're straight or a cisgender person knows they're cis. But we struggle and deny deny deny due to societal constraints, some places worse than others and then there's our own personal morals to struggle with. Etc.

Thank you for explaining it in such a nice way love <3 im confused and yet people are still being rude. I thought "tranny" was the right word to use >.<

[King Shining Heaven]

Well, this is just my observation from my own experiences

There are gays who were born that way
There are gays who were originally straight, but became gay, but it was still not their choice
There are gays who are just experimenting and not really gay
There are gays (usually women) who actively choose gay over straight, but these are a minority

[Chiriyum]

RyaZombie

Chiriyum

I love you guys <3 You make the world such a happy place ;u; i wish I had a gay best friend!

emotion_eyebrow

FYI, a person's sexuality doesn't make them better than anyone else. Or any nicer.

Um, did i say that that a persons sexuality made them any better than anyone else? No. Ive actually met women who like the same sex who are very mean, so i wouldn't say something like that. Please do not put words in my mouth. Thanks.

[RyaZombie]

Chiriyum

RyaZombie

Chiriyum

I love you guys <3 You make the world such a happy place ;u; i wish I had a gay best friend!

emotion_eyebrow

FYI, a person's sexuality doesn't make them better than anyone else. Or any nicer.

Um, did i say that that a persons sexuality made them any better than anyone else? No. Ive actually met women who like the same sex who are very mean, so i wouldn't say something like that. Please do not put words in my mouth. Thanks.

Not putting anything anywhere, dear.