Your friend flirting with your ex

[ChyakuNorisuLove]

I dont know if my friend can even be trusted anymore.. it irks me how she always bring up my ex and say his name over and over like shes obsessed or something. I dont want to start drama but out of all the guys why do some people out of all guys would pick your ex? I find it pretty rude and fake especially if you have been friends with a person you've known since middle school -__-

[angel_259236102]

You dont own human beings, you dont own this guy, you dont own this friend. If she likes him, she likes him. It is 'rude and fake' for you to condemn her for liking who she likes JUST because you had dated the guy before.

So stop causign drama and get over it.

[ChyakuNorisuLove]

angel_259236102

You dont own human beings, you dont own this guy, you dont own this friend. If she likes him, she likes him. It is 'rude and fake' for you to condemn her for liking who she likes JUST because you had dated the guy before.

So stop causign drama and get over it.

I'm not trying to cause drama lol, I'm over it and dont care have no feelings whatsoever
but im perplexed some purposely intend to be fake then smile at your face like there's noting wrong. confused..how theres a billion other guys out there and one chooses your ex knowing the past. obviously she is not a true friend..

[angel_259236102]

ChyakuNorisuLove

angel_259236102

You dont own human beings, you dont own this guy, you dont own this friend. If she likes him, she likes him. It is 'rude and fake' for you to condemn her for liking who she likes JUST because you had dated the guy before.

So stop causign drama and get over it.

I'm not trying to cause drama lol, I'm over it and dont care have no feelings whatsoever
but im perplexed some purposely intend to be fake then smile at your face like there's noting wrong. confused..how theres a billion other guys out there and one chooses your ex knowing the past. obviously she is not a true friend..

Really? Because the only not true friend is you. You want to STOP her from finding a guy she likes becuase you dated this guy. A guy that you are 'over' and have NO feelings for. So wtf are you complaining about? Oh right, nothing.

It isnt fake to like someone. It isnt fake to want to be with someone. You have no reason to try to control who she likes. If you have a GOOD reaosn, like he cheated and stuff, you can tell her and she probably knows already, but if she ignores that and goes for him anyways, that is not only OKAY but her choice.

Get over this true friend fake s**t. He is an ex, and you are over him. He is FAIR game.

[Milady Alluca]

From what you've told us, it sounds like you're being an untrue friend. I completely agree with angel, you don't own either of them and if you're not dating that guy anymore, he's free to date whoever and your friend is free to date whoever.

If you seriously think it's a problem either try to talk calmly to your friend about it, as in tell her that her infatuation with your ex makes you a little uncomfortable and ask her why she likes him. She either tells you her reasons and you respect them or disrespect her and continue being judgmental.

If you're over the situation why does it matter who is dating who? The way you've made it sound is that you're trying to find someone to justify whatever kind of residual jealousy you have remaining for the relationship you used to have with the guy. If it'd make you feel better, I think it's odd for friends to date other friend's exes but only if the previous breakup was difficult or violent or left heavy strain on a relationship. If your ex was abusive, cheated on you, or was a general a*****e and you friend still wants him, heck I'll bite, that's her having bad taste.

But all we've seen of your situation is "I used to date some guy, broke up with him, don't care about him anymore, my friend is like in love with him, oh my god she's such an awful person."

[-Teh Jiro of DOOM-]

How is that being rude and fake? Just because she might have feelings for your ex or talk about him doesn't mean she's being a fake friend.

I understand it's a little upsetting to have her like and talk about this guy, but you have to understand that he's not with you anymore, and people are allowed to have feelings. If you want, you can just calmly and gently let her know how you feel about the subject. There's nothing wrong with feeling a bit upset, but there's nothing wrong with her liking him either.

Actually rereading your post, I'm not sure if she actually likes him. Maybe just ask her why she mentions him so much, and let her know it makes you uncomfortable to hear his name so much. If she ends up liking him...then maybe ask her not to tell you about it? But if not, she should understand and stop mentioning him so much.

[ChyakuNorisuLove]

Milady Alluca

From what you've told us, it sounds like you're being an untrue friend. I completely agree with angel, you don't own either of them and if you're not dating that guy anymore, he's free to date whoever and your friend is free to date whoever.

If you seriously think it's a problem either try to talk calmly to your friend about it, as in tell her that her infatuation with your ex makes you a little uncomfortable and ask her why she likes him. She either tells you her reasons and you respect them or disrespect her and continue being judgmental.

If you're over the situation why does it matter who is dating who? The way you've made it sound is that you're trying to find someone to justify whatever kind of residual jealousy you have remaining for the relationship you used to have with the guy. If it'd make you feel better, I think it's odd for friends to date other friend's exes but only if the previous breakup was difficult or violent or left heavy strain on a relationship. If your ex was abusive, cheated on you, or was a general a*****e and you friend still wants him, heck I'll bite, that's her having bad taste.

But all we've seen of your situation is "I used to date some guy, broke up with him, don't care about him anymore, my friend is like in love with him, oh my god she's such an awful person."

he was an a****** and im not trying to come off rude here for I am only trying to get some advice and I feel like no one understands my situation. the fact that she knows how he is and what we went through and still i find it weird and it doesnt hurt me at all that she does like him what hurts me is that i thought our friendship was genuine, but im not the only one that is going through the same thing. as i said im only asking for some advice sweatdrop now i feel like i am being attacked ..

[Swift Kitano]

ChyakuNorisuLove

I dont know if my friend can even be trusted anymore.. it irks me how she always bring up my ex and say his name over and over like shes obsessed or something. I dont want to start drama but out of all the guys why do some people out of all guys would pick your ex? I find it pretty rude and fake especially if you have been friends with a person you've known since middle school -__-

Tch, mmm, girrrl, you KNOW she drama waitin' to happen.

"..she always bring up my ex and say his name over and over like shes obsessed..."

"...like shes obsessed..."

"shes obsessed"

Girrrrl... She's obsessed. dramallama

[ChyakuNorisuLove]

Swift Kitano

ChyakuNorisuLove

I dont know if my friend can even be trusted anymore.. it irks me how she always bring up my ex and say his name over and over like shes obsessed or something. I dont want to start drama but out of all the guys why do some people out of all guys would pick your ex? I find it pretty rude and fake especially if you have been friends with a person you've known since middle school -__-

Tch, mmm, girrrl, you KNOW she drama waitin' to happen.

"..she always bring up my ex and say his name over and over like shes obsessed..."

"...like shes obsessed..."

"shes obsessed"

Girrrrl... She's obsessed. dramallama

I dont wanna fight at all lol
cuz she is a friend more like a bestfriend that ive known for years
im not restricting her to like him but it is quite obvious that she has some kind of motive why she always talk about him knowing i hate him. It doesnt make sense to me at all. So i sit there and just sit in silence and this always happens whenever we hangout, out of all the things that can be discussed why mention something to your friend that you know will piss them off?
you know what im saying?

[Milady Alluca]

ChyakuNorisuLove

he was an a****** and im not trying to come off rude here for I am only trying to get some advice and I feel like no one understands my situation. the fact that she knows how he is and what we went through and still i find it weird and it doesnt hurt me at all that she does like him what hurts me is that i thought our friendship was genuine, but im not the only one that is going through the same thing. as i said im only asking for some advice sweatdrop now i feel like i am being attacked ..

No one is trying to attack you, and angel is always blunt and straightforward when giving advice in this forum but I think that's necessary sometimes. You didn't exactly explain to us that your ex was a jerk so how would we know? Missing details can change things.

As it stands, now your options are a little different. I still say you need to talk to your friend calmly and ask her to really think about why she likes him, even if she won't tell you, and remind her that he wasn't exactly and angel to you. She might listen, she might not. Unfortunately, while people often want to protect their friends from making bad decisions or dating jerks, I've seen that most people have to date those jerks before they realize just what a bad decision it was. You can try to reason with her and tell her your feelings on the matter so long as you try to remain calm and civil (even if she gets heated) but you may have to be prepared for her to ignore your warnings and feelings completely :c

[Swift Kitano]

ChyakuNorisuLove

Swift Kitano

ChyakuNorisuLove

I dont know if my friend can even be trusted anymore.. it irks me how she always bring up my ex and say his name over and over like shes obsessed or something. I dont want to start drama but out of all the guys why do some people out of all guys would pick your ex? I find it pretty rude and fake especially if you have been friends with a person you've known since middle school -__-

Tch, mmm, girrrl, you KNOW she drama waitin' to happen.

"..she always bring up my ex and say his name over and over like shes obsessed..."

"...like shes obsessed..."

"shes obsessed"

Girrrrl... She's obsessed. dramallama

I dont wanna fight at all lol
cuz she is a friend more like a bestfriend that ive known for years
im not restricting her to like him but it is quite obvious that she has some kind of motive why she always talk about him knowing i hate him. It doesnt make sense to me at all. So i sit there and just sit in silence and this always happens whenever we hangout, out of all the things that can be discussed why mention something to your friend that you know will piss them off?
you know what im saying?

Right here ----> dramallama

[Keen Incisions]

Pretty much Angel had it covered, it's not your place. At all, especially if you're over him.
He was a jerk to you...how? Maybe you two just weren't compatible and she thinks they might be.

As for the comment that she must have some "motive" for talking about him in front of you......sounds to me like she's trying to test the waters. She's probably trying to see how you react so she can tell if you're going to be upset if she pursues him. If it really does make you upset, let her know. Don't just sit there and be pissed, that will get you nowhere.

[Twin Suns Three]

No one is trying to attack you. They're just trying to point out that you're calling your friend fake and rude over a crush. You can't help who you develop feelings for. If she has any "motive," it is only to gauge your responses and learn if dating him is going to wreck a friendship. She's not doing this because she wants to torture you.

Have you considered that she is so infatuated with him that she doesn't even realize he's all she talks about? Sometimes people get so caught up over a crush that they don't realize he/she has become the center of their universe. You should remind her that you had a less than stellar relationship with your ex, and while you may be close friends, you do not like this guy and it makes you upset even hearing about him. Ask her to talk to another friend about him because you cannot handle this. If she's a good friend, she'll understand and police herself around you when it comes to him.

Why is he an a*****e? Was he emotionally and/or physically abusive? Did he cheat on you? If he really was a bad boyfriend, then you should remind her of that, too. Bear in mind, that although we all want to do right by our friends and protect them from danger, there's only so much that can be done. Even if you tell her all the details of the relationship, it's possible that she won't believe you and will pursue him anyway.

Note: If you think he's an a*****e simply because you guys weren't a good match and had a messy break-up, then you need to divorce yourself from those feelings. It's not right to demonize an ex just because things didn't work out.

[Mesoshy]

Yah happened to me and it took me 3 years to get over it and even still I haven't talked to her. It's really sad actually... She should approach you about it. And honestly, if they end up dating I would let it loose. Yell at her scream at her and cry at her because if you try to hold it in for the sake of their happiness, you'll only resent her for it later. I would suggest saying your peace before congratulating her. Also keep your friendship separate from their relationship. Do not hang out with them together, and tell her that when she brings him up in conversation that she's being insensitive and to please stop.

It's a shitty feeling.