Yet another thread about yet another guy. [WoT]

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Yes!	100.0%	[ 8 ]
Total Votes:			[ 8 ]

[Aexys]

Fall '08: I moved into college dorms, and met another freshman there - Christopher. He isn't really attractive, but his personality more than makes up for it. He's smart, sarcastic, charismatic; everybody loves him, and he gets along with everybody. After a while, he started to come over to our dorm every week to watch House. I also happened to break up with my boyfriend Zachary at said time, and though I didn't really broadcast it, Facebook tells no lies, so Christopher might have known. Christopher and I got along really well, and my roommates teased us for flirting. He decided to do a weekly movie night, and I was one of the ten or so that was invited. Eventually it fizzled out, as college plans tend to. Christopher and I both applied (independently; it was coincidence that we both applied) for a summer job, and unfortunately he got it when I didn't. In an unrelated event, I got back together with Zachary, and stopped talking to Christopher as much. We both had our own lives, after all.

Spring '09: Not much happened. Zachary and I went through tough times like always (it may be important to mention we were long-distance), and Christopher and I said hi in the hallways and shared occasional Facebook comments and "likes."

Summer '09: Christopher and I moved out of the dorms. I took summer classes and Christopher worked as a tour guide for incoming students on campus. We saw each other once; he grabbed my attention in a crowded hallway and we said a quick hello. It made my day because he remembered me and took the effort to talk to me.

Fall '09: I broke up with Zachary for good. I applied for the same summer counseling job Christopher had last summer, so I decided to ask him for advice on Facebook. He helped me quite a bit, and even told me the correct answer to an interview question that he probably shouldn't have. He said, "For what it's worth, I think you'll get it. And I'm returning, so maybe I'll see you every Wednesday next semester!" Unfortunately, neither of us got the job. We didn't really talk after that, but eventually I got up the courage to ask him to go to an event on campus (a free movie screening; he's a movie buff so I thought it would be appropriate), and he asked if it's okay to bring a friend. I was bringing my roommate, so it makes sense that he would want company, but I was a little disappointed, especially since she's a chick. They showed up, decided the line was too long (it really was), and left. My roommate and I had a great time anyway.

Spring '10: He Facebooked me, saying he was reminiscing about when we used to watch House. He didn't contact my old roommates who also watched with us, though. A few days ago he saw me on campus and we talked for fifteen minutes (it might have gone on longer, but I had somewhere to be). During the conversation, I told him we should hang out sometime, and he told me to let him know whenever; he's usually free. He mentioned he has a car (unusual for students here), so I told him I would use him for it, and he said "please do." I asked him if he wanted to go to Six Flags (we were talking about roller coasters earlier) and agreed. So we went, with my roommate and a (female) friend of his. It wasn't awkward, but I don't think we paid any special attention to each other. The next week, however, he texted me, and we began to have a conversation about movies/t.v. shows (a common interest) during which we decided to restore a weekly t.v. night, which I introduced as an idea but he committed to a time-frame. Since we've been texting/Facebooking.

Talking to him is amazing. We have an unbelievable amount in common and our conversations are always so interesting and high-energy, as if we'll never run out of things to say. On one hand, I'm completely okay with being just friends with him; he's awesome to hang out with. On the other, I would love to pursue something more and see where that goes. I don't want to make things awkward, though, and risk ruining our friendship. I feel like if he wanted to be with me, he'd do something about it. But at the same time, I don't want to surpass an opportunity because I was too afraid to put myself on the line. I think he's out of my league, but I suppose he could think the same about me. He's really sensitive as well, so maybe he's afraid of taking chances like I am. Sometimes I think our off-and-on contact is us testing the waters, not perceiving the correct signals, and backing off again until next time.

At the same time, we're not a good match in a lot of ways. He has an avid social life (no surprise with his charisma), whereas I'm more of a homebody. He has a lot of female friends and due to past relationships, I'm really insecure about that. He's in a fraternity and I don't drink. He doesn't much, either, but I am not comfortable in the party scene...at all. I'll be on campus during the summer, but I think he's going home (not too far away, but still). I might also study abroad next year, and from my experience, long-distance isn't fun.

Basically I want your advice on what I should do. Do you think he likes me, or I'm just another acquaintance? Do you think I should pursue him at all, given the circumstances? Any input would be appreciated.

[Namekuji Kimi]

Aexys

Fall '08: I moved into college dorms, and met another freshman there - Christopher. He isn't really attractive, but his personality more than makes up for it. He's smart, sarcastic, charismatic; everybody loves him, and he gets along with everybody. After a while, he started to come over to our dorm every week to watch House. I also happened to break up with my boyfriend Zachary at said time, and though I didn't really broadcast it, Facebook tells no lies, so Christopher might have known. Christopher and I got along really well, and my roommates teased us for flirting. He decided to do a weekly movie night, and I was one of the ten or so that was invited. Eventually it fizzled out, as college plans tend to. Christopher and I both applied (independently; it was coincidence that we both applied) for a summer job, and unfortunately he got it when I didn't. In an unrelated event, I got back together with Zachary, and stopped talking to Christopher as much. We both had our own lives, after all.

Spring '09: Not much happened. Zachary and I went through tough times like always (it may be important to mention we were long-distance), and Christopher and I said hi in the hallways and shared occasional Facebook comments and "likes."

Summer '09: Christopher and I moved out of the dorms. I took summer classes and Christopher worked as a tour guide for incoming students on campus. We saw each other once; he grabbed my attention in a crowded hallway and we said a quick hello. It made my day because he remembered me and took the effort to talk to me.

Fall '09: I broke up with Zachary for good. I applied for the same summer counseling job Christopher had last summer, so I decided to ask him for advice on Facebook. He helped me quite a bit, and even told me the correct answer to an interview question that he probably shouldn't have. He said, "For what it's worth, I think you'll get it. And I'm returning, so maybe I'll see you every Wednesday next semester!" Unfortunately, neither of us got the job. We didn't really talk after that, but eventually I got up the courage to ask him to go to an event on campus (a free movie screening; he's a movie buff so I thought it would be appropriate), and he asked if it's okay to bring a friend. I was bringing my roommate, so it makes sense that he would want company, but I was a little disappointed, especially since she's a chick. They showed up, decided the line was too long (it really was), and left. My roommate and I had a great time anyway.

Spring '10: He Facebooked me, saying he was reminiscing about when we used to watch House. He didn't contact my old roommates who also watched with us, though. A few days ago he saw me on campus and we talked for fifteen minutes (it might have gone on longer, but I had somewhere to be). During the conversation, I told him we should hang out sometime, and he told me to let him know whenever; he's usually free. He mentioned he has a car (unusual for students here), so I told him I would use him for it, and he said "please do." I asked him if he wanted to go to Six Flags (we were talking about roller coasters earlier) and agreed; I told him to let me know when works with his schedule. I don't want to get my hopes up, though; he hangs out with people all the time and he might be under the assumption that my roommate will be going with us (usually she and I are a package). I'm not sure whether to bring her along or risk awkwardness by telling him she couldn't make it because she had to work (probably true anyway).

Talking to him is amazing. We have an unbelievable amount in common and our conversations are always so interesting and high-energy, as if we'll never run out of things to say. On one hand, I'm completely okay with being just friends with him; he's awesome to hang out with. On the other, I would love to pursue something more and see where that goes. I don't want to make things awkward, though, and risk ruining our friendship. I feel like if he wanted to be with me, he'd do something about it. But at the same time, I don't want to surpass an opportunity because I was too afraid to put myself on the line, and it's always possible that he likes me, too. I think he's out of my league, but I suppose he could think the same about me. He's really sensitive as well, so maybe he's afraid of taking chances like I am. Sometimes I think our off-and-on contact is us testing the waters, not perceiving the correct signals, and backing off again until next time.

At the same time, we're not a good match in a lot of ways. He has an avid social life (no surprise with his charisma), whereas I'm more of a homebody. He has a lot of female friends and due to past relationships, I'm really insecure about that. He's in a fraternity and I don't drink. He doesn't much, either, but I am not comfortable in the party scene...at all. I'll be on campus during the summer, but I think he's going home. I might also study abroad next year, and from my experience, long-distance isn't fun.

Basically I want your advice on what I should do. Do you think he likes me, or I'm just another acquaintance? What do you think I should do about our maybe-date at Six Flags? Should I ask him if he's busy on V-Day, or is that too forward? How long is an appropriate time to wait between Facebook messages without seeming too eager or completely uninterested? Do you think I should pursue him at all, given the circumstances? Any input would be appreciated.

Does he like you? Maybe he does, but from a guy's point of view, nothing he's done is really a sure fire sign that he has any feelings for you. He doesn't seem to want to go out of his way to be alone with you, he has a lot of other female friends, etc... In all honesty, he sounds like he's treating you like he would any other friend.

He wants to maybe do some things with you because he missed it. But at the same time, it does not sound like he wants to REALLY badly. It's more of a, "I'd like to hang out with you some time, but if it doesn't happen, that's fine." And you're the one initiating most of the hang out activities.

If you're not too compatible on a social level, the relationship probably won't last too long; that much is a fact. So honestly, he MIGHT like you, he MIGHT not like you. It's really hard to assess from this situation.

For six-flags, just tell him he's welcome to come, and if you want, you'll let him know when it will be, etc... Don't make it into a "date." That's not a date situation.

I wouldn't ask him out on Valentine's day... I'd either ask him on a date before or after that day. You're never going to find out if he likes you or not if you DON'T ASK HIM. Honestly, it's that easy. Sure it might hurt your friendship, but your friendship doesn't sound that close to begin with.

If he likes you, he'll go out with you, if he doesn't, he'll say not. As simple as that. Even if you're afraid, you just gotta suck it up and talk with him. Try asking him out to dinner; something one on one, just the two of you. At the end of the date, tell him you have feelings for him, and see what he says.

Wondering will get you no where.

[Zeabeanie4]

I doubt you saw my post from your last thread. gonk

First off- for next time (since this is what got into the bashing war in your last thread)- try doing an 11 point font. It's really hard for some people to read the tiny print. Yeah, it looks nice and neat, but it's really a turnoff at times.


Anyhoo, I get that Chris is a social butterfly, with lots of women friends that he's not attached to. Do a lot of his lady friends hang all over him? That could be a sign not to persue it. But if that isn't the case, I say go for it. Ask him what he's doing for V-Day, and take him to Six Flags. If he's made an effort to talk to you, it sounds like he at least likes you as a friend.

So, I don't think it could hurt, asking him out. And if he rejects you, just play it off casually, and tell him that you'd just like to remain friends then. And then don't act anything different then from what you've been doing already. I know a lot of girls ask boys out, then get rejected and they totally wind up acting different then before.