What would you do?

[Ojino]

Straight to the... thing... ugh, i forgot the saying in english, but whatever, basically i wanna know what anyone would do in this situation.

I currently have plans for my future, my goals and such. Before, the plan was different...things happened and such and the only thing that could cheer me up, keep me on dreaming and believing it would happen was doing research and such that was related to the plans i had before, the goal i had before the things happened. It was the only thing that would make me feel less pain. So, due to that i actually already have a more solid plan, sort of, as to reach my goal. But the plan can only work if, well, the other person wants it to happen, if they want me to carry on with the plan and such. Obviously that person doesnt know of it yet, because i want to give it some time and see, but at the same time, not letting them know the new plan, how things can go and such, just fills me up with doubts and such and makes me slowly want to give up.

What would you do. WOuld you just wait bit more before letting that person know, or would you just let it out straight?

[Viviane_neechan]

What, exactly, are you waiting for to tell this person? Do you trust them?

Unless there's some specific event that needs to occur beforehand, it sounds like you're just stalling because you're scared. 3nodding

The only circumstance I can imagine where you need to wait is if the plan is to, like, get married, and you're waiting for your 3rd anniversary with your boyfriend to start talking about it (just an example, because I have no idea what the plan is or who this person is).

Otherwise, just go for it. 3nodding I know how hard it is to keep those things a secret, and I know how much better you feel after getting it off your chest. DO IT! heart

[Ojino]

Viviane_neechan

What, exactly, are you waiting for to tell this person? Do you trust them?

Unless there's some specific event that needs to occur beforehand, it sounds like you're just stalling because you're scared. 3nodding

The only circumstance I can imagine where you need to wait is if the plan is to, like, get married, and you're waiting for your 3rd anniversary with your boyfriend to start talking about it (just an example, because I have no idea what the plan is or who this person is).

Otherwise, just go for it. 3nodding I know how hard it is to keep those things a secret, and I know how much better you feel after getting it off your chest. DO IT! heart

I do, i trust them more than i have ever trusted someone before. Weirdly...

Well, i am scared that by talking about this specific topic it would push them away, make them want to just cut me out of their lives orsomething....

Lol, wish it was something like that XD

But yea, i am just waiting for the right moment where they are emotionally in the right place to argue about this, sadly, i cant say i am or will be, since the feelings aregoing to cause me to get emotional, etc, plus the fear of losing them, so its hard to think what i should do..

[Viviane_neechan]

BusaikuBun

Viviane_neechan

What, exactly, are you waiting for to tell this person? Do you trust them?

Unless there's some specific event that needs to occur beforehand, it sounds like you're just stalling because you're scared. 3nodding

The only circumstance I can imagine where you need to wait is if the plan is to, like, get married, and you're waiting for your 3rd anniversary with your boyfriend to start talking about it (just an example, because I have no idea what the plan is or who this person is).

Otherwise, just go for it. 3nodding I know how hard it is to keep those things a secret, and I know how much better you feel after getting it off your chest. DO IT! heart

I do, i trust them more than i have ever trusted someone before. Weirdly...

Well, i am scared that by talking about this specific topic it would push them away, make them want to just cut me out of their lives orsomething....

Lol, wish it was something like that XD

But yea, i am just waiting for the right moment where they are emotionally in the right place to argue about this, sadly, i cant say i am or will be, since the feelings aregoing to cause me to get emotional, etc, plus the fear of losing them, so its hard to think what i should do..

Ahh, I see. Well if you trust them that much, doesn't it seem odd that you don't trust them enough to discuss this with them? Assuming they'll leave you? ninja

May I ask how long you've been with this person?

[Ojino]

Viviane_neechan

BusaikuBun

Viviane_neechan

What, exactly, are you waiting for to tell this person? Do you trust them?

Unless there's some specific event that needs to occur beforehand, it sounds like you're just stalling because you're scared. 3nodding

The only circumstance I can imagine where you need to wait is if the plan is to, like, get married, and you're waiting for your 3rd anniversary with your boyfriend to start talking about it (just an example, because I have no idea what the plan is or who this person is).

Otherwise, just go for it. 3nodding I know how hard it is to keep those things a secret, and I know how much better you feel after getting it off your chest. DO IT! heart

I do, i trust them more than i have ever trusted someone before. Weirdly...

Well, i am scared that by talking about this specific topic it would push them away, make them want to just cut me out of their lives orsomething....

Lol, wish it was something like that XD

But yea, i am just waiting for the right moment where they are emotionally in the right place to argue about this, sadly, i cant say i am or will be, since the feelings aregoing to cause me to get emotional, etc, plus the fear of losing them, so its hard to think what i should do..

Ahh, I see. Well if you trust them that much, doesn't it seem odd that you don't trust them enough to discuss this with them? Assuming they'll leave you? ninja

May I ask how long you've been with this person?

I trust them, but, its a complicated thing as to why i am scared.

As to that, i am not with this person, lol

[Viviane_neechan]

BusaikuBun

Viviane_neechan

BusaikuBun

Viviane_neechan

What, exactly, are you waiting for to tell this person? Do you trust them?

Unless there's some specific event that needs to occur beforehand, it sounds like you're just stalling because you're scared. 3nodding

The only circumstance I can imagine where you need to wait is if the plan is to, like, get married, and you're waiting for your 3rd anniversary with your boyfriend to start talking about it (just an example, because I have no idea what the plan is or who this person is).

Otherwise, just go for it. 3nodding I know how hard it is to keep those things a secret, and I know how much better you feel after getting it off your chest. DO IT! heart

I do, i trust them more than i have ever trusted someone before. Weirdly...

Well, i am scared that by talking about this specific topic it would push them away, make them want to just cut me out of their lives orsomething....

Lol, wish it was something like that XD

But yea, i am just waiting for the right moment where they are emotionally in the right place to argue about this, sadly, i cant say i am or will be, since the feelings aregoing to cause me to get emotional, etc, plus the fear of losing them, so its hard to think what i should do..

Ahh, I see. Well if you trust them that much, doesn't it seem odd that you don't trust them enough to discuss this with them? Assuming they'll leave you? ninja

May I ask how long you've been with this person?

I trust them, but, its a complicated thing as to why i am scared.

As to that, i am not with this person, lol

I gotcha. 3nodding I only ask because if I had more information about your situation and your fears, I would be able to give better advice. I understand if it's personal and you don't want to explain, though.

All I know is that, in my experience, telling loved ones what you need to tell them is necessary both for those relationships AND a peaceful inner life. It's important to communicate with loved ones, as you can see from all the anxiety this is causing you!

[Ojino]

Viviane_neechan

BusaikuBun

Viviane_neechan

BusaikuBun

Viviane_neechan

What, exactly, are you waiting for to tell this person? Do you trust them?

Unless there's some specific event that needs to occur beforehand, it sounds like you're just stalling because you're scared. 3nodding

The only circumstance I can imagine where you need to wait is if the plan is to, like, get married, and you're waiting for your 3rd anniversary with your boyfriend to start talking about it (just an example, because I have no idea what the plan is or who this person is).

Otherwise, just go for it. 3nodding I know how hard it is to keep those things a secret, and I know how much better you feel after getting it off your chest. DO IT! heart

I do, i trust them more than i have ever trusted someone before. Weirdly...

Well, i am scared that by talking about this specific topic it would push them away, make them want to just cut me out of their lives orsomething....

Lol, wish it was something like that XD

But yea, i am just waiting for the right moment where they are emotionally in the right place to argue about this, sadly, i cant say i am or will be, since the feelings aregoing to cause me to get emotional, etc, plus the fear of losing them, so its hard to think what i should do..

Ahh, I see. Well if you trust them that much, doesn't it seem odd that you don't trust them enough to discuss this with them? Assuming they'll leave you? ninja

May I ask how long you've been with this person?

I trust them, but, its a complicated thing as to why i am scared.

As to that, i am not with this person, lol

I gotcha. 3nodding I only ask because if I had more information about your situation and your fears, I would be able to give better advice. I understand if it's personal and you don't want to explain, though.

All I know is that, in my experience, telling loved ones what you need to tell them is necessary both for those relationships AND a peaceful inner life. It's important to communicate with loved ones, as you can see from all the anxiety this is causing you!

I would explain, if it wasnt so complicated and long, and not in a public forum lol XD

Well, in a way i am just thinking what my feelings would cause on them. What feelings would they get, negative ones? I am trying to avoid to make them feel guilty, regret, sadness, confusion or anything like it, and i see them focusing on themselves, i like that, in a way though, i am jealous and probably envious of those that can be around them, because i wish i could too, sadly, distance, way too much distance, LOL. So idk, i am just mostly scared, i dont want to cause any negative feeling on them. I love seeing them progress, i really do, in a way though i feel like if i dont move my a** quick enough to their pace i'll lose them though.

[Viviane_neechan]

BusaikuBun

Viviane_neechan

BusaikuBun

Viviane_neechan

BusaikuBun

Viviane_neechan

What, exactly, are you waiting for to tell this person? Do you trust them?

Unless there's some specific event that needs to occur beforehand, it sounds like you're just stalling because you're scared. 3nodding

The only circumstance I can imagine where you need to wait is if the plan is to, like, get married, and you're waiting for your 3rd anniversary with your boyfriend to start talking about it (just an example, because I have no idea what the plan is or who this person is).

Otherwise, just go for it. 3nodding I know how hard it is to keep those things a secret, and I know how much better you feel after getting it off your chest. DO IT! heart

I do, i trust them more than i have ever trusted someone before. Weirdly...

Well, i am scared that by talking about this specific topic it would push them away, make them want to just cut me out of their lives orsomething....

Lol, wish it was something like that XD

But yea, i am just waiting for the right moment where they are emotionally in the right place to argue about this, sadly, i cant say i am or will be, since the feelings aregoing to cause me to get emotional, etc, plus the fear of losing them, so its hard to think what i should do..

Ahh, I see. Well if you trust them that much, doesn't it seem odd that you don't trust them enough to discuss this with them? Assuming they'll leave you? ninja

May I ask how long you've been with this person?

I trust them, but, its a complicated thing as to why i am scared.

As to that, i am not with this person, lol

I gotcha. 3nodding I only ask because if I had more information about your situation and your fears, I would be able to give better advice. I understand if it's personal and you don't want to explain, though.

All I know is that, in my experience, telling loved ones what you need to tell them is necessary both for those relationships AND a peaceful inner life. It's important to communicate with loved ones, as you can see from all the anxiety this is causing you!

I would explain, if it wasnt so complicated and long, and not in a public forum lol XD

Well, in a way i am just thinking what my feelings would cause on them. What feelings would they get, negative ones? I am trying to avoid to make them feel guilty, regret, sadness, confusion or anything like it, and i see them focusing on themselves, i like that, in a way though, i am jealous and probably envious of those that can be around them, because i wish i could too, sadly, distance, way too much distance, LOL. So idk, i am just mostly scared, i dont want to cause any negative feeling on them. I love seeing them progress, i really do, in a way though i feel like if i dont move my a** quick enough to their pace i'll lose them though.

xd Ah, yes, I understand.

And I get that you don't want to stir any negative emotions in them, but this is someone you trust and love, right? Do they care about you? If so, they would want you to take a chance at being happy and being near them, even if it raises some issues initially. You should take this chance at being happy and being honest. It's better for you and those around you.

[Ojino]

Viviane_neechan

i ******** it up.. i couldnt hold myself, and i ended giving them negative feelings...

[diamonds4eyes]

well i dont know the details to your situation but personally i would just tell them straight out. For example, I want to be an english teacher in japan REALLY BAD. I told my boyfriend of 4 years straight out that that is what i want to do knowing that its a big decision and that it will affect our relationship. I had to tell him straight out because if this choice is going to end our relationship then i would like to know that now rather than 3 years down the road. You know what i mean? So i guess it all depends on what your plan is.

[Viviane_neechan]

BusaikuBun

Viviane_neechan

i ******** it up.. i couldnt hold myself, and i ended giving them negative feelings...

To be honest, what's done is done and there's no sense in going crazy over it now. :/ I know that's easier said than done, but honesty is important and that person will get over those negative feelings with time. I promise this is better than the alternative. (hugs)

[VCILLE]

stare I sense a latino in distress

[Ojino]

Viviane_neechan

BusaikuBun

Viviane_neechan

i ******** it up.. i couldnt hold myself, and i ended giving them negative feelings...

To be honest, what's done is done and there's no sense in going crazy over it now. :/ I know that's easier said than done, but honesty is important and that person will get over those negative feelings with time. I promise this is better than the alternative. (hugs)

I just really want them to not go through negative things, its impossible, i know, but i have hopes and if i have to be unhappy so they are happy, i will be...-huggies-

[Ojino]

Ride-My-Pole

stare I sense a latino in distress

Hushie pimpu..

[mangachan]

BusaikuBun

Viviane_neechan

BusaikuBun

Viviane_neechan

i ******** it up.. i couldnt hold myself, and i ended giving them negative feelings...

To be honest, what's done is done and there's no sense in going crazy over it now. :/ I know that's easier said than done, but honesty is important and that person will get over those negative feelings with time. I promise this is better than the alternative. (hugs)

I just really want them to not go through negative things, its impossible, i know, but i have hopes and if i have to be unhappy so they are happy, i will be...-huggies-

You're right, it is impossible. You can be sensitive but the other person's feelings are their own responsibility. You can't control what they think. If you aren't hurting anyone and you are moving forward in life, they will have to come to terms with things somehow. You can't do that for them.