What do you think about over protective parents?

[Kilomech]

You're a teenager.

It's inevitable that your parents are going to assume that you're a slut, a drug addict and a heavy drinker until you move out of the house. Have fun being grounded for the rest of your high school career. Best get used to it.

[NetTroop]

My mom is really over-protective, i guess. But i get around it, sometimes though... it gets annoying.

I think there's definately a boundry between being TOO protective and not, i mean, every parent will be protective of their child, but there definately has to be some 'stop' point for when the parents get too over protective.

[Math145 Kane]

They need need NEED to stop disinfecting everything.
The child needs to develop some kind of immune system.

[Little Miss Despair]

Kilomech

You're a teenager.

It's inevitable that your parents are going to assume that you're a slut, a drug addict and a heavy drinker until you move out of the house. Have fun being grounded for the rest of your high school career. Best get used to it.

I take offense to that. I'm a teenager and I don't dress anything like a slut nor have the slutty makeup or body. The only drugs I touch are my prescription medicine in the correct dosage and my mom has drilled anti-drug so much into my head that how could she NOT believe I'm anti-drug. I'm french, wine is in my blood, but I only drink when I'm offered a sip from my brother and my parents know it. I have never been grounded. Idk where you live but that's a mean stereotype that isn't true where I live.

[KotariZythynn]

Little Miss Despair

Kilomech

You're a teenager.

It's inevitable that your parents are going to assume that you're a slut, a drug addict and a heavy drinker until you move out of the house. Have fun being grounded for the rest of your high school career. Best get used to it.

I take offense to that. I'm a teenager and I don't dress anything like a slut nor have the slutty makeup or body. The only drugs I touch are my prescription medicine in the correct dosage and my mom has drilled anti-drug so much into my head that how could she NOT believe I'm anti-drug. I'm french, wine is in my blood, but I only drink when I'm offered a sip from my brother and my parents know it. I have never been grounded. Idk where you live but that's a mean stereotype that isn't true where I live.

Maybe not, but parents are always going to be neurotic about their children. My parents were always worrying that I would get into drugs/sex and end up harming myself.

[Oni no Tenshi]

Tell him that Catholic school is where they sell the hard drugs and there's a lot of promiscuity (the rich kids tend to go there, so they have money and disinterested parents). It would be WORSE than public school.

Your dad probably cares about you a lot, but doesn't really know how to show it other than being nosy. I think that you should sit him down and talk to him in a mature and open way about your feelings and help set some boundaries and "give and take" about your responsibility and openness with him.

Tell him that you would like to be able to vent and write out your thoughts in your journal privately, because it helps you feel better about things that make you upset, but that you will "check in" with him every day at some specific time (like dinner together or whatnot) and talk to him about your day, and he can share his day with you.

Instead of having him always at your back breathing down your neck, give him clear expectations of what you are doing.

Tell him where you are going, who you are with, and when you'll be back. Always follow through with your promises, and be open with him.

You want him to trust you and to gain trust, you must prove yourself

My parents were ridiculously overprotective (they didn't even let me watch PG movies until I was a teen), and even THEY trusted me to go out for hours bike riding or doing errands on my bike or even going to co-ed sleepovers (and this was before cellphones were readily available).

They trusted me, and I earned that trust by following through with my actions and being honest and open with them about the most important things.

I think that your dad is scared that you're growing up and hes' not sure how to handle it, so he's going overboard in the protectiveness department because he thinks that he doesn't want you to get hurt.

But everyone makes mistakes and if you never learn to regulate yourself you'll just get into tons of problems after you turn 18 (believe me, I know too many people who totally screw up because they were so sheltered).

So, what I'm saying is be open and honest with him. Talk to him like an adult and let him know that you expect to prove your worth by your actions. If you follow through with your promises, he should be able to develop the trust to know that you can take control of your own actions and that you know the right choices to make.

Of course, if you just want to complain and tell him that you should be allowed to "do whatever you want" then you should probably grow up a bit more before you decide to revisit your dad's protectiveness.

Being able to "do whatever you want" without any rules or guidelines to help you develop responsible adult behavior is a fast track to lots of bad crap like teen pregnancy, gang activity, and dropping out of school and living on the streets.'

Do you really want all that?

[Sweetpea The Tigress]

ZechsK

Am I the only mature person left on ED?

Yes. Yes, you are. mrgreen

[Princess Z-M]

You live under his rooftop. Deal with it or GFTO!

I really do wonder how all of us would have cope back in the 50's when s**t like this was just laughable.

A child whining about their parent right to parent however they choose. HA!

[Princess Z-M]

SosukeSuigetsu

xXMidniteDawnXx

My dad is mean because he wont let me be a whore and put naked pictures of myself on the internet, potentially saving me from sex offenders and murderers who wanna track me down and rape me with a beer bottle! Wahh~! I'm a stuck up b***h and my life is like sooooo horrible I just dunno what to do! Go ahead ED and cater to my overly inflated ego as I continue to ignore people with REAL problems!

Fix'd. Free of charge. blaugh

I know right? Serious go starve in the Middle East like the rest of the teenagers with REAL problems. Get kidnapped at a young age and forced into the sex slave trade, labor camp, or the horrible Child-Soilder thing. Then maybe some us would actually care as reading through this weak and bratty thread a lot of people (I won't name drop) made a heap of sense.

Daddy sounds like a wonderful father IMO and well educated. Also if a judge decided that daddy has full rights guess what Daddy has full rights. Short of him beating you into a wall and other such harm he pretty much can do whatever he likes with you.

US kids are such punks. That is why we fail.

[xXMidniteDawnXx]

Blakaize

xXMidniteDawnXx

My dad is really over protective

Alright
~
kk

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and it's really starting to get on my nerves.

So?
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I don't like it when people get on nerves

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I never used to notice till now,

Obviously, then, it wasn't that big of a deal. You're probably just hitting puberty.
~
He's changing

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because I'm getting older,

Knew it

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and dad thinks it's because of my new school.

How does he make that connection?
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Because I started middle school

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He threatens to send me to a catholic school,

There are some great CS's out there, lots of which that offer excellent scholarship oppertunities for college.
~
I refuse to leave my friends

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he won't let me put my picture up on the internet,

That's fully within his power as a parent. If you're young, there isn't much a reason for your picture to be on there. There are perverts on the internet, you know. It's not an urban legend. That's not over protective, that's common sense.
~
Okay, but I don't think it's so bad to have a pic of you up

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I can't write in my diary without him peering over my shoulder.

Then find a new place to write. A closet, the basement, close your bedroom door, the library . ..
~
A closet?

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He's also mean,

Subjective and requires evidence to back up claim. What may be 'mean' to you, may be common sense to the rest of the world.
~
What is that so post to mean?

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telling my I'm a brat,

You're beginning to sound like one.
~
Gee, thanks

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mean, and cruel. I don't know how to deal with this.

The ED is not your hug-box, we can't help you with life problems. That's what life style discussion is for.
~
I DON'T KNOW THE FORUMS THAT WELL!!!!!!!

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When ever I tell him he say "Oh, no I'm not, I'm being a good dad."

He sounds like he is . . .
~
I wouldn't be crying 3 or 4 times a week if he was.

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same gos for when I tell him he's mean, he says "No, I'll have to tell you, I'm a very nice and caring person."

Okay, now I think you're exaggerating. I've never heard anyone say in response to the remark "you are mean" with "i am a nice caring person." The logical response would be "No, I'm not."
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Nope nope, thats what he say.

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I want to tell him I want to live with my mom (who I haven't seen scene I was 8 or so) but then he'll talk about her . . ..

LIFE STYLE DISCUSSION! GO THERE!
~
*rolls eyes*

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What are your thoughts on this?

He sounds like a decent single parent. Obviously, if custody was not awarded to your mother, he must have been the courts' best bet in having you raised in a good house hold. neutral
~
I can't live with my mom because she cheated on my dad. And thats it.

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Do you have an over protective or mean parent? If so, please tell us about it.

No. And by 'mean,' I'd certaintly hope you imply 'abusive, neglectful, substandard etc' and not 'doesn't let me do what i want, therefore, he is mean'
neutral

[xXMidniteDawnXx]

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Sounds like emotional abuse to me. :/

I'd talk with a counselor about this.

How do you figure?
I agree him talking about her mother negatively is rather assholish of him, but such is the nature of a divorcee struggling to parent on his own.
Simply being over protective is not emotional abuse

No, I agree with most of his parenting. She shouldn't be posting her picture on the internet. The diary thing is sketchy but not exactly abusive. However, telling her she's a brat and mean and cruel is demeaning and abusive. Even worse, he's denying her the right to contact her own mother, which is a difficult situation for a divorcee's child.

Remember that this is subjective. We don't know if she's paraphrasing or what condition her mother is in.
Perhaps {and my parents have told me this once or twice} he told her she was "acting bratty." Have you ever been in a bad mood and snapped on someone, even once, and someone told you where acting a certain way?
I honestly don't believe he called her mean or cruel, unless she gave him a reason to. But then, I don't really know the situation.
Consider this: the norm of the judicial system, ever changing as it is, usually selects the mother of a child to be the primary caregiver when a custody debate is underway. However, in this case, it is awarded to the father. In in today's liberal systems, this is rare, unless the mother is in dire straits.
I agree, she should have contact, but, again, I don't know the entire sitatution.

He called me mean and cruel because I said "I don't like you!" in a fight.

[ZechsK]

xXMidniteDawnXx

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Sounds like emotional abuse to me. :/

I'd talk with a counselor about this.

How do you figure?
I agree him talking about her mother negatively is rather assholish of him, but such is the nature of a divorcee struggling to parent on his own.
Simply being over protective is not emotional abuse

No, I agree with most of his parenting. She shouldn't be posting her picture on the internet. The diary thing is sketchy but not exactly abusive. However, telling her she's a brat and mean and cruel is demeaning and abusive. Even worse, he's denying her the right to contact her own mother, which is a difficult situation for a divorcee's child.

Remember that this is subjective. We don't know if she's paraphrasing or what condition her mother is in.
Perhaps {and my parents have told me this once or twice} he told her she was "acting bratty." Have you ever been in a bad mood and snapped on someone, even once, and someone told you where acting a certain way?
I honestly don't believe he called her mean or cruel, unless she gave him a reason to. But then, I don't really know the situation.
Consider this: the norm of the judicial system, ever changing as it is, usually selects the mother of a child to be the primary caregiver when a custody debate is underway. However, in this case, it is awarded to the father. In in today's liberal systems, this is rare, unless the mother is in dire straits.
I agree, she should have contact, but, again, I don't know the entire sitatution.

He called me mean and cruel because I said "I don't like you!" in a fight.

So you think it's OK to tell him you hate him, but it's not OK for him to say you're being mean by telling him you hate him? Riiiight. b***h stfu.

[Little Miss Despair]

*leaves this thread* I was being sympathetic by nature, but now you really are sounding like a brat. Just get over it.

[Dark_Vera_05]

Overprotective Parents are over protective because they love you. . . heart
But your dad has issues! Call a Psychologist or something! Run away to your mom!

[xXMidniteDawnXx]

ZechsK

xXMidniteDawnXx

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Sounds like emotional abuse to me. :/

I'd talk with a counselor about this.

How do you figure?
I agree him talking about her mother negatively is rather assholish of him, but such is the nature of a divorcee struggling to parent on his own.
Simply being over protective is not emotional abuse

No, I agree with most of his parenting. She shouldn't be posting her picture on the internet. The diary thing is sketchy but not exactly abusive. However, telling her she's a brat and mean and cruel is demeaning and abusive. Even worse, he's denying her the right to contact her own mother, which is a difficult situation for a divorcee's child.

Remember that this is subjective. We don't know if she's paraphrasing or what condition her mother is in.
Perhaps {and my parents have told me this once or twice} he told her she was "acting bratty." Have you ever been in a bad mood and snapped on someone, even once, and someone told you where acting a certain way?
I honestly don't believe he called her mean or cruel, unless she gave him a reason to. But then, I don't really know the situation.
Consider this: the norm of the judicial system, ever changing as it is, usually selects the mother of a child to be the primary caregiver when a custody debate is underway. However, in this case, it is awarded to the father. In in today's liberal systems, this is rare, unless the mother is in dire straits.
I agree, she should have contact, but, again, I don't know the entire sitatution.

He called me mean and cruel because I said "I don't like you!" in a fight.

So you think it's OK to tell him you hate him, but it's not OK for him to say you're being mean by telling him you hate him? Riiiight. b***h stfu.

I didn't say hate, I said "I don't like you" i never said i hate him