What did I do?

[magix1234]

I have this guy friend and we've been hanging out for a long time now. We used to text, hangout and the like. I even helped him with his love advice. just a few months ago, my friend told me that he doesn't want to hangout with me because my actions were more of a girlfriend than a friend. (Even though I didn't touch him or anything that makes it girlfriend material in my point of view. All we did was eat and go somewhere like normal friends do)

So, I tried making a change (a bit). I prevent saying things which I think it's offensive, I minimized the punching on the shoulder. I even tolerated his offensive statements to me and I hangout with him less often to prevent any more rumors. I thought it was for the best

And just last night, I suddenly received a message and it quote:

Quote:

after our conversation earlier, I am now convinced that uv bn a bad friend...to be blunt i dnt thnk that you're a friend anymore...

I can't continue because it's still too painful to read and type, but on the last message he said that he will still talk to me and I shouldn't misunderstand the message.

I got really confused. then I asked where I did wrong? I tried to point out my faults as to why I was hurting him. he said that it was neither what I said but it is related to my attitude towards him lately and that I should figure it out.

I don't know, I don't know what to do anymore. Why am I always at fault? Why does he always say painful things to me? What is really a friend? I don't know... I just don't know anymore.. please help

[Miz Creant]

This guy sounds stupid. Girlfriend actions seem pretty definitive; macking, touching, texting constantly. He probably doesn't know what he wants and is just looking for reasons not to talk to you. Also I don't trust anyone who types the way he does. Abbreviations are a shitty thing to do when seriously talking.
Quit being a victim and realize when your friend's reasons are bullshit. Move on.

[Miz Creant]

It kinda sounds like he wants you to jump through hoops to see how much you'll change your behavior for him. "Quit being so clingy." "I don't think you've been treating me right."

[magix1234]

Miz Creant

It kinda sounds like he wants you to jump through hoops to see how much you'll change your behavior for him. "Quit being so clingy." "I don't think you've been treating me right."

He doesn't say what he wants, which is becoming annoying. sad

[Alexander J Luthor]

He sounds like an annoying little t**t who's trying to see how well he can control you:
Insisting you're too close
Saying he'll still hang out with you
Insulting you

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Don't even bother with him. $5 says if you ignore him completely for a week he'll either get violent, or will come after you.

[magix1234]

Alexander J Luthor

He sounds like an annoying little t**t who's trying to see how well he can control you:
Insisting you're too close
Saying he'll still hang out with you
Insulting you

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Don't even bother with him. $5 says if you ignore him completely for a week he'll either get violent, or will come after you.

I find this very uplifting; it made me laugh a bit. (so thanks for that) smile

though that would be a miracle if he will really come after me. I mean, he never once apologize to me to anything since we've been friends. An apology would be nice too sad

[XVNekioVX]

Does he have a girlfriend?
She may not like you or how close you two are.
Or
He may be developing feelings for you.

[magix1234]

klein_eine

Does he have a girlfriend?
She may not like you or how close you two are.
Or
He may be developing feelings for you.

Nope, but before, he had feelings for this girl and this girl had a boyfriend (who is now her husband). Things got a bit out of hand and to make the complicated story short, she was "dating" him despite having a boyfriend, so it's wasn't official in the first place


I honestly doubt that he has feelings for me, he already friendzoned me once and we still hanged out until last night's conversation

[quayla666]

magix1234

klein_eine

Does he have a girlfriend?
She may not like you or how close you two are.
Or
He may be developing feelings for you.

Nope, but before, he had feelings for this girl and this girl had a boyfriend (who is now her husband). Things got a bit out of hand and to make the complicated story short, she was "dating" him despite having a boyfriend, so it's wasn't official in the first place


I honestly doubt that he has feelings for me, he already friendzoned me once and we still hanged out until last night's conversation

So you did make a move on him before, since you mentioned this "friend zone" crap.

[magix1234]

quayla666

magix1234

klein_eine

Does he have a girlfriend?
She may not like you or how close you two are.
Or
He may be developing feelings for you.

Nope, but before, he had feelings for this girl and this girl had a boyfriend (who is now her husband). Things got a bit out of hand and to make the complicated story short, she was "dating" him despite having a boyfriend, so it's wasn't official in the first place


I honestly doubt that he has feelings for me, he already friendzoned me once and we still hanged out until last night's conversation

So you did make a move on him before, since you mentioned this "friend zone" crap.

sorta, I texted told him in this exact words that I have a crush on you (that was 3 years ago) but he said that we're just friends and we should stay that way (I think he was prevent my feelings to progress or something similar to that). Of course I respected that and in time I just see him as a friend now.

[quayla666]

magix1234

sorta, I texted told him in this exact words that I have a crush on you (that was 3 years ago) but he said that we're just friends and we should stay that way (I think he was prevent my feelings to progress or something similar to that). Of course I respected that and in time I just see him as a friend now.

I doubt that, since you said he "friend zoned" you. That means that you are sitting around, waiting for him to start a relationship with you. That is exactly what "friend zone" means. Waiting around, making a false friendship, hoping a relationship comes from it. That isn't real friendship. He probably sees it in this way, and is trying to stop it from happening.

[magix1234]

quayla666

magix1234

sorta, I texted told him in this exact words that I have a crush on you (that was 3 years ago) but he said that we're just friends and we should stay that way (I think he was prevent my feelings to progress or something similar to that). Of course I respected that and in time I just see him as a friend now.

I doubt that, since you said he "friend zoned" you. That means that you are sitting around, waiting for him to start a relationship with you. That is exactly what "friend zone" means. Waiting around, making a false friendship, hoping a relationship comes from it. That isn't real friendship. He probably sees it in this way, and is trying to stop it from happening.

Oh, if that's the case, then I misused the word "friend zone". Sorry about that, they have a different definition here. But I can assure you that I really see him as a friend and nothing more.

Though there are two things that bother me, if he sees it that way, why does he always the first one who would always text me and everyday at that? I expected that he would stop sending me messages even though I said it. But he's always the one who initiates the conversation and all (for the past 3 years at that) including the bad friend part.

Secondly, if he's trying to stop it from happening then why didn't he do it earlier? I mean, if a guy wouldn't want to have a relationship with a girl, shouldn't he do something about it while it's still early?

[fubenkunai]

Ugh, drop him. He's a selfish, untrustworthy, demanding shitheel and you don't need someone like that in your life. You sound like a very giving friend who has appropriate boundaries, and the world is full of people who will appreciate that. Go find them and let this little tool stew in his own misery.

[quayla666]

magix1234

quayla666

magix1234

sorta, I texted told him in this exact words that I have a crush on you (that was 3 years ago) but he said that we're just friends and we should stay that way (I think he was prevent my feelings to progress or something similar to that). Of course I respected that and in time I just see him as a friend now.

I doubt that, since you said he "friend zoned" you. That means that you are sitting around, waiting for him to start a relationship with you. That is exactly what "friend zone" means. Waiting around, making a false friendship, hoping a relationship comes from it. That isn't real friendship. He probably sees it in this way, and is trying to stop it from happening.

Oh, if that's the case, then I misused the word "friend zone". Sorry about that, they have a different definition here. But I can assure you that I really see him as a friend and nothing more.

Though there are two things that bother me, if he sees it that way, why does he always the first one who would always text me and everyday at that? I expected that he would stop sending me messages even though I said it. But he's always the one who initiates the conversation and all (for the past 3 years at that) including the bad friend part.

Secondly, if he's trying to stop it from happening then why didn't he do it earlier? I mean, if a guy wouldn't want to have a relationship with a girl, shouldn't he do something about it while it's still early?

many people have their own takes in it. But that is what it actually is. There is no such thing as the "friend zone". It is literally someone waiting around, expecting to get with a person, pretending a friendship, always being there until the person either gives in, and starts a relationship, or, tells the person off, and cuts them from their life.

I do not know him, so I do not know why he does what he does. The only things I can really say anything about is based off of what you state about him. If he does that, it tells me that he is lonely, and probably leading you on a little, due to liking the attention. Sometimes people do that s**t, without even knowing it.

The second part there could be chalked up to the part where I mentioned he is probably lonely, and likes the attention. Once he gets an interest in someone else, he will drop you like a bad habit. (Which might be why he did this. Doesn't have to be with someone, just interested.)

[MendoGurl]

magix1234

I have this guy friend and we've been hanging out for a long time now. We used to text, hangout and the like. I even helped him with his love advice. just a few months ago, my friend told me that he doesn't want to hangout with me because my actions were more of a girlfriend than a friend. (Even though I didn't touch him or anything that makes it girlfriend material in my point of view. All we did was eat and go somewhere like normal friends do)

So, I tried making a change (a bit). I prevent saying things which I think it's offensive, I minimized the punching on the shoulder. I even tolerated his offensive statements to me and I hangout with him less often to prevent any more rumors. I thought it was for the best

And just last night, I suddenly received a message and it quote:

Quote:

after our conversation earlier, I am now convinced that uv bn a bad friend...to be blunt i dnt thnk that you're a friend anymore...

I can't continue because it's still too painful to read and type, but on the last message he said that he will still talk to me and I shouldn't misunderstand the message.

I got really confused. then I asked where I did wrong? I tried to point out my faults as to why I was hurting him. he said that it was neither what I said but it is related to my attitude towards him lately and that I should figure it out.

I don't know, I don't know what to do anymore. Why am I always at fault? Why does he always say painful things to me? What is really a friend? I don't know... I just don't know anymore.. please help
To me it sounds like hes the one at fault and is confused about the relationship the both of you have. He could have feelings for you and just didnt want to say anything (dont make any moves tho, its his place to do so if this was the case) or his friends could be talking about the friendship you have with him and are making fun of him. But for him to say those things to you it doesnt make any sense that you did anything. Hes being a p***y and i suggest you be more aggressive about the situation rather than asking him what you did wrong, i would be like "what the hell is wrong with you? I havent been acting any different than i normally do, maybe YOU need to think about the way you have been acting towards me and then come and talk to ME when your done with this bullshit"