What can i do when a minor(in my family) is harassing me

[ProxyCotton]

It all started when I ate a hot pocket out of the freezer a few weeks ago, when my 14 year old cousin got home, she started to smash things around the house and try to get on my nerves by playing loud music at my door and bouncing a basketball near my bedroom window (I have asked her not to do this before). I ignored it and went to sleep. The next day around noon I received a group message (or picture she sends to everyone) via snapchat from my cousin. It was a picture she had taken of her boots and it reads "I going to ******** kill her"

I showed my grandpa (whom we both live with) and he said "I'm sorry, your grandma and I never taught her to do this blah-blah excuse why he can't punish her for her actions" and after asking him to speak with her the next day he finally talked to her. Later that day I got a message from her saying "don't ******** tell daddy my business" I ignored that message because I know she just wants to start a fight
At this point my cousin is getting out of control, she will bring her friend over to which they both harass me and beat on my door, every time I eat something she messages me saying "******** really you ate ____?" and "I'm going to ******** kill you" it's not like I'm eating everything in the house or that any food in the house even belongs to her. I don't know what to do because my grandpa won't hold her accountable for her actions and she gets away with everything she does. (i am 19 btw if that info is needed) Thanks for any help in advance!!

[Viviane_neechan]

neutral That...isn't normal. All I can imagine is that she's dealing with some serious stuff internally. That is WAY out of control for a 14 year old girl.

Have you tried pulling her aside, then CALMLY and GENTLY asking what's bothering her, and whether or not you can help?

Unfortunately it seems you'll have to keep taking the high road and ignoring her. Maybe if you try to sympathize with her, she'll start to see that you're not a hostile entity in the house.

[ProxyCotton]

Viviane_neechan

neutral That...isn't normal. All I can imagine is that she's dealing with some serious stuff internally. That is WAY out of control for a 14 year old girl.

Have you tried pulling her aside, then CALMLY and GENTLY asking what's bothering her, and whether or not you can help?

Unfortunately it seems you'll have to keep taking the high road and ignoring her. Maybe if you try to sympathize with her, she'll start to see that you're not a hostile entity in the house.

She started acting out when my grandma died in 2011 I have talked to her before, but she is used to being in control and acted in a negative manner when I kept asking her calmly to stop what she was doing or to think about what she was doing(even when asking her to pick up clothes she threw in front of my door she said "i ******** dare you to touch them" ) She even began smoking under the excuse "it's better than me cutting and killing myself" which was a whole other can of worms we had to sort out Yeah, I guess nothing can be done about it sad I was hoping I could get a restraining order against her if it was possible BC now after threatening me and watching what she has done to other people i'm really feeling finished with all the games she is playing.

[Vanilla Melody]

Tbh i would call the police and show the evidence you have. Your grand father obviously cant raise her and she is acting out because it. She may need to get professional help with her thoughts and anger and needs someone to properly discipline her.

[Golden Teaspoon]

Honestly show the police. You would be doing the most kind and loving thing you can do for her.

She needs her a** scared straight real quick. That's a good way to get in some serious s**t and potentially killed later on in life when she starts threatening other people she shouldn't be messing with.

[Evan Horror]

I would contact the police if it escalates too much, if she ends up getting physical don't be afraid to Pop her in the nose. Self defense blah blah

[Cosmic Jirachi]

If there's absolutely no other adult that is able to control this child, contact the authorities and let them know what's going on. Obviously whoever is watching over her is incapable of caring for her, and it needs to be taken care of before things get worse.

[Viviane_neechan]

ProxyCotton

Viviane_neechan

neutral That...isn't normal. All I can imagine is that she's dealing with some serious stuff internally. That is WAY out of control for a 14 year old girl.

Have you tried pulling her aside, then CALMLY and GENTLY asking what's bothering her, and whether or not you can help?

Unfortunately it seems you'll have to keep taking the high road and ignoring her. Maybe if you try to sympathize with her, she'll start to see that you're not a hostile entity in the house.

She started acting out when my grandma died in 2011 I have talked to her before, but she is used to being in control and acted in a negative manner when I kept asking her calmly to stop what she was doing or to think about what she was doing(even when asking her to pick up clothes she threw in front of my door she said "i ******** dare you to touch them" ) She even began smoking under the excuse "it's better than me cutting and killing myself" which was a whole other can of worms we had to sort out Yeah, I guess nothing can be done about it sad I was hoping I could get a restraining order against her if it was possible BC now after threatening me and watching what she has done to other people i'm really feeling finished with all the games she is playing.

Ahh. Well that's a tough age for girls already, and I'm sure your grandmother's death messed her up (not that that's an excuse for her behavior).

Honestly I'm not really sure what the police can do about that. How would a restraining order work? Neither of you are able to move out, right? Are there other relatives that can take her?

When my younger brother was about her age and started pulling crazy crap like her and threatening suicide, my mom had him committed to our local mental institution for help, because by that point it was obviously out of our hands. If you can show that she's a danger to herself and others, your grandfather may be able to do the same. THAT would be the kindest thing you could do for her, imo.

[Whiskey Grey]

Contact the police. They take threats of violence seriously, even if they are empty threats.

Alternatively, contact child protection services about your concerns of her behaviour and lack of care, particularly lack of discipline.

Might also want to think about moving out because there really isn't a whole lot you can do with a minor if her guardian isn't going to bother.

[ProxyCotton]

Viviane_neechan

ProxyCotton

Viviane_neechan

neutral That...isn't normal. All I can imagine is that she's dealing with some serious stuff internally. That is WAY out of control for a 14 year old girl.

Have you tried pulling her aside, then CALMLY and GENTLY asking what's bothering her, and whether or not you can help?

Unfortunately it seems you'll have to keep taking the high road and ignoring her. Maybe if you try to sympathize with her, she'll start to see that you're not a hostile entity in the house.

She started acting out when my grandma died in 2011 I have talked to her before, but she is used to being in control and acted in a negative manner when I kept asking her calmly to stop what she was doing or to think about what she was doing(even when asking her to pick up clothes she threw in front of my door she said "i ******** dare you to touch them" ) She even began smoking under the excuse "it's better than me cutting and killing myself" which was a whole other can of worms we had to sort out Yeah, I guess nothing can be done about it sad I was hoping I could get a restraining order against her if it was possible BC now after threatening me and watching what she has done to other people i'm really feeling finished with all the games she is playing.

Ahh. Well that's a tough age for girls already, and I'm sure your grandmother's death messed her up (not that that's an excuse for her behavior).

Honestly I'm not really sure what the police can do about that. How would a restraining order work? Neither of you are able to move out, right? Are there other relatives that can take her?

When my younger brother was about her age and started pulling crazy crap like her and threatening suicide, my mom had him committed to our local mental institution for help, because by that point it was obviously out of our hands. If you can show that she's a danger to herself and others, your grandfather may be able to do the same. THAT would be the kindest thing you could do for her, imo.

i'm not sure it would keep her from talking to me or harassing me, honestly its making my depression worse and id rather not be around her or have to deal with her.
she can move out whenever she wants, she has a room at her dads house(who she was visiting for a long time) and another at her moms house and lived there untill i moved in with my grandpa. she got mad bc i got the spare room when she wanted me to sleep on the couch(and i did for several months before i finally took the room).
im all for having her put in boot camp or a institution because shes rlly going to end up hurting someone or have herself land in jail.
i even asked my grandpa but he "has no guardianship" over her and her mom would have to do it.
her mom is just a big pile of trash and doesnt care what her daughter does.
i know forsure if she does try to actually hurt me or my pets than im calling the police and pressing charges.

[kauma16]

Keep all the evidence of your cousin harassing you on snapchat, or just documenting it with your phone. When she does come to the point when she'll try to physically hurt you, you can call the police.

or

Use the evidence and show it to her parents to try to convince them to let your cousin go into boot camp / an institution.

[Viviane_neechan]

ProxyCotton

Viviane_neechan

ProxyCotton

Viviane_neechan

neutral That...isn't normal. All I can imagine is that she's dealing with some serious stuff internally. That is WAY out of control for a 14 year old girl.

Have you tried pulling her aside, then CALMLY and GENTLY asking what's bothering her, and whether or not you can help?

Unfortunately it seems you'll have to keep taking the high road and ignoring her. Maybe if you try to sympathize with her, she'll start to see that you're not a hostile entity in the house.

She started acting out when my grandma died in 2011 I have talked to her before, but she is used to being in control and acted in a negative manner when I kept asking her calmly to stop what she was doing or to think about what she was doing(even when asking her to pick up clothes she threw in front of my door she said "i ******** dare you to touch them" ) She even began smoking under the excuse "it's better than me cutting and killing myself" which was a whole other can of worms we had to sort out Yeah, I guess nothing can be done about it sad I was hoping I could get a restraining order against her if it was possible BC now after threatening me and watching what she has done to other people i'm really feeling finished with all the games she is playing.

Ahh. Well that's a tough age for girls already, and I'm sure your grandmother's death messed her up (not that that's an excuse for her behavior).

Honestly I'm not really sure what the police can do about that. How would a restraining order work? Neither of you are able to move out, right? Are there other relatives that can take her?

When my younger brother was about her age and started pulling crazy crap like her and threatening suicide, my mom had him committed to our local mental institution for help, because by that point it was obviously out of our hands. If you can show that she's a danger to herself and others, your grandfather may be able to do the same. THAT would be the kindest thing you could do for her, imo.

i'm not sure it would keep her from talking to me or harassing me, honestly its making my depression worse and id rather not be around her or have to deal with her.
she can move out whenever she wants, she has a room at her dads house(who she was visiting for a long time) and another at her moms house and lived there untill i moved in with my grandpa. she got mad bc i got the spare room when she wanted me to sleep on the couch(and i did for several months before i finally took the room).
im all for having her put in boot camp or a institution because shes rlly going to end up hurting someone or have herself land in jail.
i even asked my grandpa but he "has no guardianship" over her and her mom would have to do it.
her mom is just a big pile of trash and doesnt care what her daughter does.
i know forsure if she does try to actually hurt me or my pets than im calling the police and pressing charges.

Hmm, yeah, in that case you need to get her out of your house (preferrably into her dad's, though I'm sure your control over that is limited). As others have said, keep evidence, talk to her dad, talk to the police, whatever you have to do, and be persistent. Somebody needs to step in and take responsibility for this child, because she clearly won't do it herself.

[Desi the fuzzy fluffhead]

I would have taken the basketball away and the music. I would tell her to shape up, start acting a little bit more mature, and stop disrespecting her grandparents home. I may even call on the spirit of grandma and ask her if she thinks her grandma would be proud of her.

Sometimes you have to stand up to bullies.
And if she decides to take things to a physical level than call the cops.

I'd talked to my grandpa about kicking her out, since he can't discipline, and she needs help.
I'd bring up that you're thinking about calling the cops because she has been threatening you.

[xXFurygeistXx]

Call the cops and document and keep all evidence of the harassment and of your grandfather not doing anything to control the little b***h. They will get CPS involved if they must, and CPS will determine if she is in an household suited to her needs (i.e. can gramps take care of this little s**t? Obviously not). Tell your gramps if her doesn't crack down on her a** that that is what you are doing, because you deserve peace in your own home and what she is doing is threatening violence against you and her current actions are abusive. She doesn't get a pass just because she's family. If he doesn't do anything, contact authorities and get them involved. Who knows, maybe she'll be sent to a nice boot camp style boarding school where they'll whup her a** into shape...or let her delinquency continue, but far away from you and yours.

[in da circle]

ProxyCotton

She is completely out of control for 14. I would show the police & get her removed from your home because your grandfather obviously isn't fit to raise her under such circumstances. She needs to be dealt with in a matter that won't be ignored. Ofc, it'll be "mean" to some people, "oh no, she's family, I couldn't do that", but she's screaming for attention in a different way. I'd have her sent to a home with kids like her or something.