Virginity vs Sexual Frustration

Are you a virgin?

Yes (over 18)	35.5%	[ 66 ]
No	44.1%	[ 82 ]
Yes (under 18)	15.6%	[ 29 ]
No (under 18)	4.8%	[ 9 ]
Total Votes:			[ 186 ]

[Neko Namida Ame]

First of all, sexuality should have s**t to do with your worth. Random sexual encounters that are consensual and not hurting anyone should always be okay and they don't say anything about your character or worth. Our society needs to grow up on that one.

Honestly, a lot of non-virgins will tell you right now that even with a person they really cared for the first time wasn't great and was not even memorable. If you want to wait, by all means do so but don't think it will be like anything you see in movies or novels. It tends not to be. It's often awkward (unless you luck out and get someone who's really experienced) and most people don't even know what gets them off in actual sex yet so it's not even that pleasurable. That doesn't mean you should just give it up for the sake of giving it up (unless you really want to). Just don't have super high expectations going in to it even with a boyfriend.

[Frozen Mist]

I don't feel like virginity is just about vaginal intercourse. It's about crossing that line of intimacy with someone.

I had the chance to suck D before I lost it, and I didn't. Because to me, it's crossing the same line. And I wanted to make sure that whatever form that line was, it was with someone I trusted and cared about.

I'm torn on what kind of advice to give you. Honestly, if you've done all those things, part of me wonders why wait for the other stuff.

I waited for my first time, and it didn't end up being special. It was just raunchy fun sex. Yes it was with someone I cared about, but it was just about the sexual gratification, not intimacy whatsoever. It was a while before we actually had really intimate sex.

So I mean, I don't know. If you're going that far already, and you really want to have sex, why not. But at the same time, if it's something you think you'd regret, then don't.

But realistically the person you end up having your first time wont be a virgin, especially already being 21. And even if you do end up falling head over heals for someone and giving them your virginity, there's no guarantee that it wont end in a messy breakup where you still end up regret giving it to them.

[The Silent Paladin]

Apocalypse How

That being said, do make sure you don't have sex you don't really want just for the sake of losing your virginity. There's no point to that and it would probably be unpleasant sex anyway.

This person is exactly 100% correct. Even if you are an atheist, your views on the whole someone special thing may have been subliminally influenced into your mind from religion or how people talk about sex on tv, books, music, etc. But when you get right down to it, nothing has any meaning except the meaning you assign to it. So if you want your first time to have meaning, then you should wait for someone who is meaningful to you in your life. Also, losing your virginity is not a flu shot. Don't lose it just to get it over with, because it's not like you need to lose it. If any girls/guys just make fun of you for being a virgin, they're bitches anyway and you don't need their approval.

[Manther]

I'm almost 24, and I'm still a virgin. I even have a boyfriend of 4.5 years. Just lack of opportunities. Kinda sucks because I WANNA BANG HIM ALREADY!

Anyway, is it really principle or just a way of being? What I mean is, would you be comfortable with having sex with a boy you barely no, just disappointed that you broke your principal? Or would you be uncomfortable doing something like that in general? I mean, for me, I want to have sex with someone I'm in love with because otherwise, the thoughts of having sex without love just sounds awkward, uncomfortable, violating, and other things. It's not a principal, but just a way of being to me. There's even a stupid label for it: demisexual.

EDIT: I must have skipped over the part where you blew many boys. Now your principal is kind of confusing. Why does intercourse have the be the one associated with love? Just make sure you feel comfortable in the situation, I guess, and use protection.

[Psykeiri]

there's nothing inherently wrong with sexual desire.
there's nothing wrong with being a virgin.
if you want sex, go for it. if you don't, abstain.

people are always going to judge you for everything anyway. forget about them.
i think it's important to refrain from hurting people, but it's also important live your life in a way that's meaningful to you.

[owlby]

x CAMMiiE T0E x

This sounds so much like me lol. I'm 21 too and a virgin in college.
Its hard, since I've been offered it tons of times before, but I also get that feeling of something holding me back.
I can understand it, I'm not religious either, and honestly I think its worth sticking to your principle.
Believe me, knowing that you lost your virginity to someone you love is better than later just losing it for the 'sake of losing it'. Or because of being horny just for a moment vs being in love with someone.
I know its frustrating, trust me, I've been frustrated too at times, but I know it will all be worth it and mean so much more when you lose it to someone you really do love.

[Blackrose_Knight]

klebold

Mark me a masochist but what assumptions do you hold about me that define me as slutty? I am curious what you think I do is compared to what I really do.

[Juliannna]

I'm 23 and a virgin!! You ain't got nothin' on me!! In all seriousness though, I understand your frustrations, I'm just waiting for the right person. I've only been in a few relationships, and losing my virginity to any of them just didn't seem right, so I am waiting for my perfect guy <3

[Muley Grey]

I'm in the same exact boat as you, actually. I'm a 20 year old college student who's never been in a relationship and still remains a virgin. I'm not religious, but I'm waiting for that special someone. I think you should stick to your principals personally because it's such a rare thing for someone to wait for that special someone and I think it says a lot about you as a person if you're able to stick to your principals. The best solution I've found because I also get sexually frustrated is, well, vibrators. Not only does it help with the sexual frustration but I'm sure as a college student you get just as stressed out as I do, and it's a great stress buster. Having friends to be cuddle buddies helps with sensual frustration too.

But really, it's up to you. Sex is a personal thing and you're the only one who can decide when it's right. If someone thinks it's shameful to be 20-something and still a virgin, it's none of their god damn business because it's your body, not theirs. Just like if you had sex it's nobody's business except yours and whoever you're sleeping with.

[Akyrin]

Sex can be a pretty intimate and emotional bonding period. Especially the first time you have it.

I was like you, sexually frustrated, but wanting to wait. Not necessarily for religious nor societal wishes, I was just waiting for the one.

I had opportunities to loose it several times before I met my husband, but either mother nature (both bodily and nature in her glory of terrible summer thunder storms), kept me from actually achieving the goal of having sex to relieve the frustration. I had done other sexual activities (mostly giving/receiving oral), but never fully went down the road to sex.

I finally gave myself to my husband a few days after we just had met offline. (We were in an LDR, met online, ect.) It was a really emotionally bonding experience for the both of us. I was about 22 when I finally lost it. It was a moment that really made us closer.

It's completely up to you when and where you wish to have sex. Do what feels right for you, and not for anyone else.

[Ladydemon_Lyn]

Okay, first of all; virginity is a social construct. Technically if you have been sexual with other people, given head, received head, got fingered, dry humped, etc., then you’ve still had different types of sex.

However, at the end of the day, if you still want to consider yourself a virgin because you consider virginity a strictly p***s in v****a thing then there you go. But if you’re so worried about pressures from society and all that jazz about still being a virgin, well, much of society wouldn’t consider you a 100% virgin anyway.

So the point is there is nothing wrong with you being 21 and not having penetrative sex. If you want to have sex, have sex. No one but yourself is stopping you. Don’t make this about society, don’t make this about how anyone else is going to view you. Make this about you. Do you still want it to mean something? Because again, you’re 21. You’re going to be horny, but there’s other ways to deal with it, and honestly having sex isn’t going to magically make you not horny anymore. In fact it’ll probably make you hornier.

Of course they’re going to advertise it as being great. Who advertises stuff and says that it’s shitty?

It’s your choice. But also consider what it’ll mean to you if you lose it to someone who doesn’t care about you, if it’s really crappy and you don’t like it, if you get hornier, if your sex drive dies because of it, if you extract an STD, if you end up getting pregnant, etc. There’s a lot more to sex than just sexual gratification.

TL;DR – It is worth as much as you make it.

[Jazin Kay]

x CAMMiiE T0E x

Is it worth sticking to my principle?

For your reasons, yes.

[rvngska]

Apocalypse How

Wow, you have just received some really shitty advice. I thought the people around here would be better than this. /:
Virginity is 100% a social construct. (no, really. 100%. no physiological significance at all.) It has no meaning except what you give it. If you want to give it some meaning, go ahead, but it's going to be pretty arbitrary, especially when you don't have any kind of religion or philosophy that backs up the meaning you give it. I'm not saying to not care about your first time, but just keep all that in mind.
Sex can be really fun. I'm sure you're aware of this. (As a side note, PIV sex isn't necessarily any more fun than other kinds of sex, and really isn't a lot different at all.) If you're in a situation where you want to have sex with someone and they want to have sex with you, as long as you both know what you're in for and take the necessary precautions, there is zero reason as to why you shouldn't.
That being said, do make sure you don't have sex you don't really want just for the sake of losing your virginity. There's no point to that and it would probably be unpleasant sex anyway.

I was pondering putting together some thoughtful advice but there's no point since this pretty much hits the nail on the head.

[Za The SITUASIAN]

Your once only a virgin. Once I lose my virginity, oh god..I'm going to be trying to ******** as many women as I can. The thing about being a virgin, is the longer that it takes for you to lose it, you start to appreciate it. But every person in the world is going to have sex at one point in their lives so it's kinda dumb for it to have a meaning. But it's too late now since it already has a meaning to me. And it's not like I'm looking to lose it right away. My first time, I'm hoping is going to be special..Then after that. I'm going allllllllllllllllllllll out. Sorry, not trying to sound selfish. ;P

[Akutesu]

Stick with your principal. It'll be worth it when Mr. Right comes around! 3nodding Very. Lots of people would envy you if they could have that chance again so stick with it and save it.