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Crazy Ironside's avatar

Blessed Gawker

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So I told you guys on LI about the guy who I met online who is nice and all but he smokes weed. He texted me this morning and said I think I know why you make not be more than friends with me and its because I smoke weed. And I said that yea I thought that was problem but I wasn't gonna say anything about it. I told him, I don't know how to deal with people who smoke weed and he told me to just act as I normally do. I told him I'd think about it and he said I should do that and that he hopes I don't turn him down. He seems so nice but the pot is the thing that worries me. Is he gonna ask me for money for pot if he doesn't have it? I have all these fears and I don't know what to do. I feel like he may be a great guy but I also don't want to miss another chance of dating a person I may acutally like
angel_259236102's avatar

Fashionable Bloodsucker

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Smoking pot doesnt mean he will do anything. It is just something he odes. He can be a great guy, or not. He can be hard working..or lazy. He can try to use you...or not.

If your problem is the smoking itself, that cant be really changed, but if it is some random things you assume that he would do just because he does, that is not only ignorant but going to stop you from being firends or more with a lot of people who are great.
iSnuggle Monster's avatar

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If you think you may like him, why not try? I dated a guy for a while who was a habitual weed smoker. (Like literally 24/7) That in itself didn't bother me... It was when he brought up the idea of me moving in with him so we could spend more time together (our work schedules were very conflicting) and I told him no because I don't like the idea of someone smoking weed around my son (who was 3 at the time;; I only spent time with the guy when my son was with his dad for this reason alone) is when it became a problem. Needless to say, our relationship went downhill from there and we didn't stay together much longer, lol. Don't get me wrong, he was a GREAT guy, and he was so sweet. But I guess when it came down to it, he wasn't someone I could be with long term because of it. Now if he didn't do it in the house it would have been a totally different issue, because I have absolutely nothing against weed. It's just absolutely not okay to do drugs around children and since it would have been his house we moved into, I can't really tell him he can't smoke in his own house. So as long as you make it clear to him from the get go if you feel comfortable or not with him smoking around you ect, you could give it a try. You never know until you give it a try.
Total Distortion's avatar

Raider

Smoking pot is not a big problem. I don't do it because I'm paranoid of getting drug tested at work but several of my friends do it and honestly you wouldn't even know they're high if they didn't tell you. You have no reason to worry.
Noodlepuss's avatar

Tipsy Kitten

I think you're overreacting.
If you like him then why not try being with him? Smoking pot shouldn't completely change a person.

Also, I smoke weed very regularly and I have never in my life had to ask someone for money. confused
Braaaiinsss's avatar

Dapper Lunatic

Haha ohmyod he's not addicted to ******** heroin. Or even an alcoholic.
If you like him, be with him.
weeneez's avatar

Dapper Millionaire

I don't see why people make pot to be a huge big deal. People can smoke it and not be a drug addict or a bad person who will use you. If you like him, ignore the pot thing, and just go for it. And if he asks you money for pot, politely turn him down.
You have to ask yourself if you can deal with it and are willing to deal with any consequences that come with it if you guys get serious and long term. Meaning things like him not getting decent jobs cause of drug tests, possible legal issues, and the like. I'm not weighting in for or against him (I feel weed should be legal but gotta go with what the law is currently)

So just food for thought.
Crazy Ironside
So I told you guys on LI about the guy who I met online who is nice and all but he smokes weed. He texted me this morning and said I think I know why you make not be more than friends with me and its because I smoke weed. And I said that yea I thought that was problem but I wasn't gonna say anything about it. I told him, I don't know how to deal with people who smoke weed and he told me to just act as I normally do. I told him I'd think about it and he said I should do that and that he hopes I don't turn him down. He seems so nice but the pot is the thing that worries me. Is he gonna ask me for money for pot if he doesn't have it? I have all these fears and I don't know what to do. I feel like he may be a great guy but I also don't want to miss another chance of dating a person I may acutally like

I'd go ahead and tell you not to go for him, and to generally avoid him. bad company corrupts good character, and if you did want to date him, you'd have to make him choose between smoking weed and you, and you can't compromise.
 Fading Fantasma's avatar

Dapper Werewolf

Why don't you get to know him better on a friend level first?
Options:

1. Give him a try and see how it goes. If it still bothers you and isn't something you can accept, then end it.

2. Don't get involved with him that way. Stay true to your preferences and stay friends (if he so wants to).
Yesterday, I told my boyfriend that my parents smoke again. Most of my family member smoke cigs. He was like oh you're use to smokers, so me smoking won't bug you. I don't like it when my parents smoke around me or my siblings.

If he can't quit the bad habit there's no point of not moving.
Delightful_FOOL's avatar

Tipsy Prophet

Even if you were just friends, he could still ask for money for pot... Just saying, your logic on that is flawed.

But, yeah, as other people have said, you're making a mountain out of a molehill. I think you're just trying to find excuses to not be wi him, for whatever reason. Do you have a bad track-record as far as dati goes? Always had a problem doing something that would make you happy even if there aren't any real negative consequences? In the end, though, if weed makes you that uncomfortable (and not for some lame reason that one day he may ask to borrow some cash) then I think you have your answer. I don't think it's fair to give him a "you vs weed" ultimatum since the weed was there before you, you don't have children (supposedly), nor did you make mention of any health issues like an allergy.

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