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vietnomnom's avatar

Dapper Businesswoman

Oh lord, here's a fun one for you all~
So, my boyfriend of 2 years+ and I were talking with his ex. She then mentioned his other ex talking s**t, and the details, basically.
They said that the only reason why my boyfriend is with me, is because I'm young, and he "likes little girls", lol. Which is ridiculous. He's dated plenty of girls his age, some even older, and some younger, I just happen to be the youngest. He also spends time with me and my 3-4 year old sister. NOT because he is a "*****", but because we're family, and he likes to spend time with all of us. They also said that I probably contribute to the fact that he now has the initiative to be a father towards his son. Which is true. I do help him with that. He does love his son, and wants to be in his life, he's just not very experienced with kids and the like.

I called out the ex she was talking about, but she denied everything.
My question is... where should I go from here?
Should I just block and delete them both, and leave it up to my boyfriend to communicate?

(Sorry for the confusing "ex 1 and ex 2" thing, I avoid mentioning names just in case.)

EDIT: Ex 1 is the mommeh of his child, and the lady who told us about the drama-fest. Such a confusing situation. I am debating blocking them both, but wouldn't want to mess up anything for my boyfriend and his child.
Didn't you use to be ORGANZ then changed your user name like 2 times? Just an observation.

Anywho, I would recommend talking about your concerns about their accusations and stuff to your boyfriend and see what he says. I feel like he should be defending you in these situations since you are his girlfriend, and...well...I dunno, I'm one of those "he needs to defend your honor" types of people. Other than that, I'd say it's a nice idea to block both of them. I mean, you know the truth to your relationship and that you are both happy so that's all that should matter. You don't need stupid exes to go into your life and cause unnecessary stress and drama. Best of luck!
The Silent Paladin's avatar

Malevolent Mage

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They're his exes, you don't have to deal with them. Don't let the mistakes of his history be the nuisances of your present.
weeneez's avatar

Dapper Millionaire

This is between his ex's and him, not you. Unless they come to you personally, and not through your boyfriend, I wouldn't do anything about it. But if they are coming straight to you, just block them.
vietnomnom's avatar

Dapper Businesswoman

weeneez
This is between his ex's and him, not you. Unless they come to you personally, and not through your boyfriend, I wouldn't do anything about it. But if they are coming straight to you, just block them.


I did go to one of them directly and asked, as I stated. Trust me, I wouldn't have gotten myself involved if it wasn't necessary. I guess I'm just worried, the ex that told us all this is his child's mom, so I don't wanna jeopardize that. Shoulda mentioned that in the OP, I'm a bit tired lol. xD
But thanks. ^^
Unnecessary drama. Why are you having contact with the exes anyway? Not one, but two exes? That should tell you something about him.

Anywho.. regardless of the number of exes causing problems, it should be his job to deal with them, not yours. If he had/has no interest in being involved in his child's life, he's what is called a deadbeat dad. "No experience with kids" or otherwise. He'll do the same thing to you if you two ever have a child together. Quit making excuses for him and move on to someone that won't put you through that s**t.
angel_259236102's avatar

Fashionable Bloodsucker

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Why are you even talking to exes? I get the one that has a child...but you should only be talking about things that are about the kid.
Rhouis's avatar

Gawker

I don't even get why you're in a relationship with this person as you're always here with problems about it.

As already said, they're his exes, not yours. Why are you in contact with them? Why do you feel you need to? To be honest, they're not your business and you should block them. They shouldn't even be a part of your life. They're for him to deal with if necessary.

You brought their nasty comments upon yourself by trying to be in contact with them. Did you expect you guys would be best friends?
Mightelove's avatar

Brainy Sex Symbol

I'm a little confused as to why you would "call out" anyone based on the information from your boyfriend's ex girlfriend. Sounds like you were looking for trouble. Leave well enough alone and it will take care of itself. Who gives a crap if his ex is saying anything anyway?
Mightelove's avatar

Brainy Sex Symbol

-Teh Jiro of DOOM-
Didn't you use to be ORGANZ then changed your user name like 2 times? Just an observation.
!


I knew I'd seen that picture somewhere! -_- This is the same one that kept yapping about the mother of her boyfriend's child driving without a license and should she call the police. And something about prostitution and should she call the police. And how do you file a report for this, that or the other....

and then proceeded to get bitchy and immature when people told her to mind her own damn business and let her ex deal with his own s**t.


Meh.

Now I just feel soiled for having answered the damn post.
vietnomnom's avatar

Dapper Businesswoman

Rhouis
I don't even get why you're in a relationship with this person as you're always here with problems about it.

As already said, they're his exes, not yours. Why are you in contact with them? Why do you feel you need to? To be honest, they're not your business and you should block them. They shouldn't even be a part of your life. They're for him to deal with if necessary.

You brought their nasty comments upon yourself by trying to be in contact with them. Did you expect you guys would be best friends?


I was being nice, because frankly... I don't want any bad blood between me and anyone from his past. I don't see why everyone has to be so rude about my asking for advice on problems.
It honestly makes you seem a bit off yourself, but I'm not here to judge. ^^
vietnomnom's avatar

Dapper Businesswoman

Saphira Wings
Unnecessary drama. Why are you having contact with the exes anyway? Not one, but two exes? That should tell you something about him.

Anywho.. regardless of the number of exes causing problems, it should be his job to deal with them, not yours. If he had/has no interest in being involved in his child's life, he's what is called a deadbeat dad. "No experience with kids" or otherwise. He'll do the same thing to you if you two ever have a child together. Quit making excuses for him and move on to someone that won't put you through that s**t.


Obviously you do not know anything about my boyfriend and his "fatherly issues", because he is far from a deadbeat Dad, and that's not really the topic on hand here. But, since you obviously seem very concerned, I shall elaborate.
His ex girlfriend had a baby with him.
She did not allow him to see the child for about... 2 years almost.
Then, he got fed up with trying to deal with her, and got the court involved.
She caved and finally let him in his child's life. It's not like he hasn't been trying.

There's more details, but as I said, not the topic at hand.

I edited this post and stated I deal with one because she is his son's mother.
I dealt with the other one because well, she seemed nice before, and I'm not one to just judge someone before getting to know them. I have blocked her from my life after this situation.
vietnomnom's avatar

Dapper Businesswoman

Mightelove
-Teh Jiro of DOOM-
Didn't you use to be ORGANZ then changed your user name like 2 times? Just an observation.
!


I knew I'd seen that picture somewhere! -_- This is the same one that kept yapping about the mother of her boyfriend's child driving without a license and should she call the police. And something about prostitution and should she call the police. And how do you file a report for this, that or the other....

and then proceeded to get bitchy and immature when people told her to mind her own damn business and let her ex deal with his own s**t.


Meh.

Now I just feel soiled for having answered the damn post.


I'm the bitchy and immature one?
Excuse me for having problems. ; )
I left Gaia for a month because of that issue, why can't you just leave me alone?
If you don't like my posts, I suggest you ignore them, and don't try to scare off people who actually try to give me advice without being extremely rude. Thanks!
Rhouis's avatar

Gawker

vietnomnom
Rhouis
I don't even get why you're in a relationship with this person as you're always here with problems about it.

As already said, they're his exes, not yours. Why are you in contact with them? Why do you feel you need to? To be honest, they're not your business and you should block them. They shouldn't even be a part of your life. They're for him to deal with if necessary.

You brought their nasty comments upon yourself by trying to be in contact with them. Did you expect you guys would be best friends?


I was being nice, because frankly... I don't want any bad blood between me and anyone from his past. I don't see why everyone has to be so rude about my asking for advice on problems.
It honestly makes you seem a bit off yourself, but I'm not here to judge. ^^


There wouldn't necessarily be bad blood between you. There is no expectation from anyone for you to get along with your current partner's exes. Just focusing on you and your boyfriend is expectation enough. I wouldn't even dream of becoming friends with my boyfriend's past girlfriend because it causes unnecessary complications; like the one you're in.

I'm not meaning to sound off. My advice is just given in plain simple terming and as I think of things. Look past HOW I'm saying things and just focus on WHAT I'm saying.
vietnomnom's avatar

Dapper Businesswoman

Rhouis
vietnomnom
Rhouis
I don't even get why you're in a relationship with this person as you're always here with problems about it.

As already said, they're his exes, not yours. Why are you in contact with them? Why do you feel you need to? To be honest, they're not your business and you should block them. They shouldn't even be a part of your life. They're for him to deal with if necessary.

You brought their nasty comments upon yourself by trying to be in contact with them. Did you expect you guys would be best friends?


I was being nice, because frankly... I don't want any bad blood between me and anyone from his past. I don't see why everyone has to be so rude about my asking for advice on problems.
It honestly makes you seem a bit off yourself, but I'm not here to judge. ^^


There wouldn't necessarily be bad blood between you. There is no expectation from anyone for you to get along with your current partner's exes. Just focusing on you and your boyfriend is expectation enough. I wouldn't even dream of becoming friends with my boyfriend's past girlfriend because it causes unnecessary complications; like the one you're in.

I'm not meaning to sound off. My advice is just given in plain simple terming and as I think of things. Look past HOW I'm saying things and just focus on WHAT I'm saying.


"I'm not meaning to sound off. My advice is just given in plain simple terming and as I think of things. Look past HOW I'm saying things and just focus on WHAT I'm saying."

Some people don't have the luxury of doing so in their time of need, but since this problem isn't exactly life-changing, I am able to look past it, just figured I should let you know in case you ever deal with anyone who's at that point when one more rude thing said to them pushes them over the edge. Trust me, I've been on both ends.

As for dealing with his ex? They have a child together, and she sees me blocking contact with her as a big "screw you". I would rather just stay on her good side. And, it's not like she started off completely rude to me. When we first started chatting after not talking for a bit (we knew each-other before they dated), she was rather nice. People change, though. Just feel like it'd be 100 times easier being her friend than deleting her now and her seeing it as me being a b***h.

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