Trouble Reading Signals...

[The Outspoken]

Alright. The story is long, and I'm sure you don't want to hear it. Suffice to say that I am in the delicate process of asking a girl whose been a good friend of mine to become more than a friend.

At first I wasn't going to, because she's Mormon and I'm Portestant, and she's going to college two states away. Plus, I wasn't even sure if she liked me as more than a friend, or even possibly. I knew she greatly valued me as a friend.

At prom I went with a group of friends which included her. She had a "date", (more like an escort really), but she actually only danced with me there -- she didn't even dance with her date. And here's the kicker: she asked me to dance, not the other way around. Kinda surprised me.

So for about two weeks I tried to find the words. I didn't want to scare herr. I love her. Like... I can seriously see myself with her in 10 years, and there's nothing that I want more than for her to be happy. But finding words that wouldn't intimidate her, that was hard. I didn't want to scare her with something like "I love you".

I had a hard time figurng out what to say, and I could never seem to get the words out, so in the end, I wrote her a note that I gave to her on the last day. Well, two notes. One was handwritten, so I don't ahve a copy of it, but I can tell you what it basically said if you want. The other was typed, so I still have it if you want to look at it.

Anyways, I gave it to her our last day of school, and I haven't been able to talk to her since. I know that she was with family from Spain until monday. When i tried to call her.... well.... her dad wouldn't let me talk to her. She has my number but hasn't called me back yet, though I don't even know if she's read the letters yet, and even if she has.... she's incredibly busy until graduation, (this friday).

So... I'm kinda wondering what anyone thinks of this. I normally can read people's signals.... but I'm having trouble with this one.

[thomsquirrel]

Reading friends can be tricky because you already have an existing relationship of sorts. You said yourself that she's busy until graduation, so give her that time...
Also, friends can feel betrayed because you were someone safe to be around, and *WHAM*! Now they don't have that safety...
Regardless, if things don't go how you want, remember to tell her that her friendship with you is important... and if you have a hard time getting close enough to tell her that, use the note trick again.

[The Outspoken]

thomsquirrel

Regardless, if things don't go how you want, remember to tell her that her friendship with you is important... and if you have a hard time getting close enough to tell her that, use the note trick again.

I already mentioned that to her in the note actually. I made a point of saying that no matter what, I value her as a friend. I'm sure that if she says no it'll be a little weird... she was asking me to come visit her at college once a month or so... not sure if she'd want that anymore... :/

but we'll wait to see how she responds I guess...

[Gossamer Heart]

I'm afraid it's all a waiting game from now on, deary.

She did ask you to dance though. That HAS to count for somthing, doesn't it?

[winglessdreams]

Well look at it from her side and all the possibilities.

1. She might've not read them yet. Simple as that.

2. Two she has read them, and then it gets complicated.

Whether or not she feels the same way, she'd be thinking about it. If she were interested she's asking herself questions. Will it work out? What happens if it doesn't? Would it be long distance? How is this going to affect us?

If she doesn't then she's wondering how to not hurt your feelings, or is just confused. They're so many different possibilities. It could even be that she wants to wait til graduation to talk about it, or she doesn't want to do it over the phone.

My advice, don't stress over it when there's not much you can do about it right now. You can either call her or go to her house, but other than that you just have to wait it out.

[xxlilvietgurlxx]

Looking for signs if she likes you would be kind of hard. If you are having trouble saying "I love you", then your feelings would be depression and lonliness. If you gave her the notes, then probably she'll call you back soon, or her dad didn't say anything to her about the phone call. Maybe try giving her another note......

[xxlilvietgurlxx]

i doubled posted sorry!

[thomsquirrel]

Quote:

I already mentioned that to her in the note actually. I made a point of saying that no matter what, I value her as a friend. I'm sure that if she says no it'll be a little weird... she was asking me to come visit her at college once a month or so... not sure if she'd want that anymore... :/

but we'll wait to see how she responds I guess...

The waiting sucks though... Been there-- I feel for you.

[Elidaeaa]

Don't use the note trick >.<... That's bad. It's not very effective. Asking her yourself, and writing her a note. BIG BIG BIG difference on seriousness levels. The note might be a joke or a prank. If you actually vocally ask her, she can tell if you're trying to pull something or not. I don't know why religion should be a factor, but whatever.

I guess you should just cross your fingers.

[The Outspoken]

Elidaeaa

Don't use the note trick >.<... That's bad. It's not very effective. Asking her yourself, and writing her a note. BIG BIG BIG difference on seriousness levels. The note might be a joke or a prank. If you actually vocally ask her, she can tell if you're trying to pull something or not. I don't know why religion should be a factor, but whatever.

Yeah... I tried for about a week to say something.... I just couldn't figure out what to say, or more importantly, how to start.

She knows me enough to know that I'm sincere when it comes to things like this. I'm sure she knows I'm not joking. I really would like to talk to her in person though....

At least I'm doing better than the last time this sort of thing came up...

[KhaosAnge1]

Well, there is very little you can do at the moment. But worrying will not help you, take today off, just og out and enjoy yourself. Get some ice cream, buy a little something, take it easy. If you stress out about it it will be even harder to talk to her. My sister always use to tell me to just go for it, dont think about it. In some ways she is right, the more you think about, the more you will try to talk yourself out of it.

So take a break.

If she returns your feelings, then good for you! There really isn't much to say here, other than good luck and I am happy for you.

If she doesn't, well I understand exactly where you are, having been there myself. Although my situation is different slightly, but I would rather not get into it.

But dont think about it today, because it will do more hamr than good. Just go out and have some fun with friends, and perhaps she will call you when you get back.


Good luck! *g*

[The Outspoken]

KhaosAnge1

So take a break.

Just go out and have some fun with friends, and perhaps she will call you when you get back.

Great advice. I had a great time today and yesterday. smile

[The Sweetie]

The Outspoken

but we'll wait to see how she responds I guess...

That's all you can really do right now... just be sincere -- yourself. When's the next time you get to talk to her in person?

[The Outspoken]

The Sweetie

The Outspoken

but we'll wait to see how she responds I guess...

That's all you can really do right now... just be sincere -- yourself. When's the next time you get to talk to her in person?

Tomorrow... Senior barbeque....

[teh toothache]

Dude, you so should've told her face to face at the start. Yeah it's easier t get the words out on paper, but it means so much more when you're telling her directly.

Even if a guy is completely stammering, it'll show the girl how much guts it took to say it all. If I were you I'd ask her how was your week and that stuff. And right after I'd ask, "so did you read the letter?"

Then I'd apologize for not telling her face to face. Then start off, "before you say anything, I just want you to know...." Finish my say, and ask, "so how do you feel about all this?"