Too many problems, so for now I'll focus on this one.Venting

[NobodySpecial12465]

I was going to write on here earlier about the situation my boyfriend and I are in, but I decided to erase it all because I might finally be coming to a solution for that. Now, I'm on to the next problem I'm having. I'm in school for Court Reporting. You know, the person who sits at the funny looking machine and writes down what everyone says in the courtroom? I used to be excited about it.

And my boyfriend finally shed some light on me and going to school. He said, "I’m not going to sit here for hours and listen to you read when you don’t take this s**t as serious as you should. ... Any decent person who is in your situation would have been out of that speed months ago and I know you’re capable of it. When we first met, you were practicing every day. It is not my responsibility to make sure you get practice in. I’m just done being the only one who actually cares for it."

Well now. That was a bit of a shocker. He was right, though. I don't take it seriously anymore. I just withdrew from one school and I'm switching to another in less than a month. Now with that said, I would also like to point out that CR school is not easy. It is self-paced, but it's not something you can just fly right through. I was told the program was two years, and here I am going into my third year with much more left to tackle. I need to get to a speed of 225 words per minute, and I have been stuck in 160 wpm for seven months. Now some family issues come into play when it came to being in my old school, but apart from all of that, I have been saying I'm done with this. It doesn't interest me anymore. I don't like doing it. I know I need to do things even if I don't enjoy them, but why should I continue to pay thousands of dollars for something that I have to do for the rest of my life if I won't enjoy what I do? I try to picture life after graduating. I try not to think about the $32.5k that I've already borrowed from the government. And it all just brings me down. My boyfriend didn't help make it any more easier, but I did tell him exactly how I felt about what he had said about my schooling.

I was told from the prior school that I am allowed to borrow $52k in total. I don't think I would have enough left to use even if I did find something else to go to school for. I don't even know if that's what I want to do right now. I'm going to be 21 in a few months and I just feel like I've wasted a good chunk of my life and that I should already have some kind of track that I should be set on for my life. And it hasn't happened that way. I'm not even sure why I'm still here writing. Maybe I'm just needing to vent to someone who isn't my boyfriend because me and all my s**t isn't helping our relationship either.

[legnanellaf5]

So drop out. Get a job. Work on paying back the loans. I dont think you should be switchign schools when you are saying you are done. No point in getting more debt over something you arent happy with. So get out of this hole and start doing s**t.

Although fact is that you are 20, you arent supposed to have life figured out. It is okay to change your mind on things, but you need to not drag your boyfriend throug it with you. It isnt his degree it is yours, and so he should never have been put in that spot where he is feelign responsible for your education. That isnt how it works, that isnt what he is there for. If you need help go to a tutor or your prof or whatever, not your boyfriend.

[NobodySpecial12465]

legnanellaf5

So drop out. Get a job. Work on paying back the loans. I dont think you should be switchign schools when you are saying you are done. No point in getting more debt over something you arent happy with. So get out of this hole and start doing s**t.

Although fact is that you are 20, you arent supposed to have life figured out. It is okay to change your mind on things, but you need to not drag your boyfriend throug it with you. It isnt his degree it is yours, and so he should never have been put in that spot where he is feelign responsible for your education. That isnt how it works, that isnt what he is there for. If you need help go to a tutor or your prof or whatever, not your boyfriend.

He would listen to me read my notes while he followed along in English. Even then, it's once every couple of weeks. The only reason why I think he feels responsible is because I'm not practicing enough and he doesn't like it. That still doesn't make him responsible for anything.

[legnanellaf5]

NobodySpecial12465

legnanellaf5

So drop out. Get a job. Work on paying back the loans. I dont think you should be switchign schools when you are saying you are done. No point in getting more debt over something you arent happy with. So get out of this hole and start doing s**t.

Although fact is that you are 20, you arent supposed to have life figured out. It is okay to change your mind on things, but you need to not drag your boyfriend throug it with you. It isnt his degree it is yours, and so he should never have been put in that spot where he is feelign responsible for your education. That isnt how it works, that isnt what he is there for. If you need help go to a tutor or your prof or whatever, not your boyfriend.

He would listen to me read my notes while he followed along in English. Even then, it's once every couple of weeks. The only reason why I think he feels responsible is because I'm not practicing enough and he doesn't like it. That still doesn't make him responsible for anything.

But he FEELS like he is, so obviously you are relying on him too much. It is nice for him to offer to listen but it isnt something you should be depending on him to do for you or for him to make sure you are doing your work. It also sounds like it was him going to you to get you to practice, which shouldnt be happening. The easiest way for it to stop affecting your relationship is to stop dragging him into your educational life, and make them separate.

[Inscriven]

NobodySpecial12465

legnanellaf5

So drop out. Get a job. Work on paying back the loans. I dont think you should be switchign schools when you are saying you are done. No point in getting more debt over something you arent happy with. So get out of this hole and start doing s**t.

Although fact is that you are 20, you arent supposed to have life figured out. It is okay to change your mind on things, but you need to not drag your boyfriend throug it with you. It isnt his degree it is yours, and so he should never have been put in that spot where he is feelign responsible for your education. That isnt how it works, that isnt what he is there for. If you need help go to a tutor or your prof or whatever, not your boyfriend.

He would listen to me read my notes while he followed along in English. Even then, it's once every couple of weeks. The only reason why I think he feels responsible is because I'm not practicing enough and he doesn't like it. That still doesn't make him responsible for anything.

As your partner he has a vested interest in your success, so a good partner would certainly want to enable to you keep going so you can be successful because it means a more stable relationship in the end. So if he sees you not taking your coursework seriously and lacking in discipline that is going to be frustrating because now it feels like his effort and investment in your goals is a waste of time, and potentially his investment in his relationship with you as a whole is a waste of time.

Yeah, you're really young so it's not terrible you don't have plans A, B, C all set out for yourself but I think what matters more is you need to have the drive to act and adapt depending on your situation, if you are that unhappy then you need to do something about it, and not drag along amassing even more debt and wasting time.

In my opinion I would really try to put my head down and try to complete the course. Yeah, it's not what you "love" doing, but pulling a paycheck is not about doing what you love, it's about sustaining your life and hopefully having the quality of life that will let you do what you love without owing anyone anything. If you drop out now you may not find a job that pays anything more than minimum wage and that amount of debt is going to cripple you.

People switch fields and wind up in jobs where their degrees are not in all the time, you are not limited to just being a reporter for the rest of your life, but you completing that program will be a point on your resume to indicate that you are a hard working and accomplished person no matter where you apply. Drop out, and you'll just look like another underacheiving high school grad and life will be MUCH tougher for you then.

[NobodySpecial12465]

legnanellaf5

But he FEELS like he is, so obviously you are relying on him too much. It is nice for him to offer to listen but it isnt something you should be depending on him to do for you or for him to make sure you are doing your work. It also sounds like it was him going to you to get you to practice, which shouldnt be happening. The easiest way for it to stop affecting your relationship is to stop dragging him into your educational life, and make them separate.

I didn't think I had him involved so much. Just another thing for me to work on. Thank you!

[NobodySpecial12465]

Inscriven

NobodySpecial12465

legnanellaf5

So drop out. Get a job. Work on paying back the loans. I dont think you should be switchign schools when you are saying you are done. No point in getting more debt over something you arent happy with. So get out of this hole and start doing s**t.

Although fact is that you are 20, you arent supposed to have life figured out. It is okay to change your mind on things, but you need to not drag your boyfriend throug it with you. It isnt his degree it is yours, and so he should never have been put in that spot where he is feelign responsible for your education. That isnt how it works, that isnt what he is there for. If you need help go to a tutor or your prof or whatever, not your boyfriend.

He would listen to me read my notes while he followed along in English. Even then, it's once every couple of weeks. The only reason why I think he feels responsible is because I'm not practicing enough and he doesn't like it. That still doesn't make him responsible for anything.

As your partner he has a vested interest in your success, so a good partner would certainly want to enable to you keep going so you can be successful because it means a more stable relationship in the end. So if he sees you not taking your coursework seriously and lacking in discipline that is going to be frustrating because now it feels like his effort and investment in your goals is a waste of time, and potentially his investment in his relationship with you as a whole is a waste of time.

Yeah, you're really young so it's not terrible you don't have plans A, B, C all set out for yourself but I think what matters more is you need to have the drive to act and adapt depending on your situation, if you are that unhappy then you need to do something about it, and not drag along amassing even more debt and wasting time.

In my opinion I would really try to put my head down and try to complete the course. Yeah, it's not what you "love" doing, but pulling a paycheck is not about doing what you love, it's about sustaining your life and hopefully having the quality of life that will let you do what you love without owing anyone anything. If you drop out now you may not find a job that pays anything more than minimum wage and that amount of debt is going to cripple you.

People switch fields and wind up in jobs where their degrees are not in all the time, you are not limited to just being a reporter for the rest of your life, but you completing that program will be a point on your resume to indicate that you are a hard working and accomplished person no matter where you apply. Drop out, and you'll just look like another underacheiving high school grad and life will be MUCH tougher for you then.

Thank you. I know I should push through it. I'm going to give this new school a try. I already have everything set up with them. Just waiting to hear back about the classes I have left to take. I just hope that it helps motivate me. I should be relying on myself, but it's just not there right now.