Deradius
First things first -
The guy you were involved with is the sort to have sex with random women in the back of a van, regardless of what else we do or do not know about him.
Yeah, I know a lot of the blame will be put on him because he was the guy.
Even though I helped this all along, even though we were the ones who dragged him onto the van as he just sort of whimpered like some Ukeboy and followed our lead. We also did it too. Something we have never done in our life. Guess that makes us look like some "seedy"characters too.
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...Therefore, you and your partner need to get checked. Immediately. You should continue to get checked regularly for several months.
I just got checked. I've spent the last page talking about how I was getting checked. My last post was about how we went in today about getting checked. Does anyone read anymore?
The doctors themselves were very light about it, giggled a bit when we went in there today and told them about what happened, and said over 85% of the time, even when it's a one night stand, no diseases are transmitted, that things like this can happen, I really thought we were going to be chewed out big time. But maybe it was the fact we went in there and did explain it responsibly, and admitted it was not planned out properly.
They did NOT say I had to repeatedly be subjected to testing, maybe they just have better technology? Because they took many blood samples and said they could EVEN detect aids/HIV if it was there, even if the encounter was only a week ago, along with every other std.
They never said anything about me having to come back to be re-tested. They said if I had anything, it would show up immediately. They said not to worry so damn much, that we were young and we didn't magically have to be perfect.
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Talk to her about it, see how she feels. Make sure she's okay with the situation, and with you, and that everything is good with the relationship.
She was the one who has wanted a threesome for years now. She was quite happy that we finally did it. We talked extensively about it.
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....Then I would say if you want to stay with her, bury the hatchet on this urge and move on. What's more important to you - keeping your partner in your life, or fulfilling base urges?
Or, you know, I did/can do both just fine with no issues. My only problem was coming to terms with my own self not being totally gay? :]
Not to mention you're making it seem like it was only my urge to do this and not hers.
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....It takes dedicaton, commitment, and trust to maintain a successful relationship.
Having relations outside of the relationship undermines the required dedication and commitment, and throws a shadow of doubt on the trust element of the relationship.
If you want to keep her, then move on past this and consider it a brief phase.
Except, you know, besides the fact that you're making a gross generalization, what we did made all parties happy.
I have talked to her about it extensively., I guess no one reads anymore. She's the one who wanted the threesome in the first place. She's been asking to try one for years now. She seemed awfully pleased about this whole thing actually.
How do you know every time someone has a threesome it "casts OMG eery shadow of dooom and doubt" over their relationship. Apparently you don't know what a relationship over five years of your life while in your PRIME, without ever experimenting with anyone else is like. It really put a spark back in our relationship that was waning a little, and strengthened our bond because we allowed each other to do this and despite being with someone new are still just as close as ever.
It's strengthened our relationship. A lot. We don't feel like we've "missed out" anymore.
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Get tested. A lot. Make sure she does too.
Stay safe.
I'm not going to go overboard and punish myself with needles for one night we all enjoyed, and even licensed professionals told us not to worry horribly about.
We will stay safe though. :] thx.
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