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Delavie's avatar

Survivor

So I've been hit with a pretty massive stream of horror lately, but I'll keep it short and sweet.

We had to put my dog down, I missed three days of school due to illness, speech team performances, and pointless field trips, and I broke up with my boyfriend. And that was just in the past two weeks.

Right now, the one hitting me hardest is the breakup.
I'm doing the healthy thing by being around friends a lot and getting their support, but at night that isn't so easy. I find myself missing him even though I was the one who wanted out. He won't even talk to me... I think I'm at liberty to say I'm actually miserable.

Getting back together is seriously not an option, so don't even, but what are some ways I can cope besides listening to really loud music and being around people who still care?
The_science_master's avatar

IRL Nerd

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Do something you used to enjoy. Like for me I like to take walks to clear my head or if walking isn't an option just driving around is also a good one. But with rising gas prices, the walk sounds a little bit more economical.

You just need time to think this through and if you find that you can't do this on your own then I suggest you seek a psychologist/therapist because they can help you through experience.
Yami_Neko's avatar

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Ugh. I hate breakups.

So my first piece of advice is do not contact your ex. Cut off all communication, unfriend them on facebook, delete them from your phone, stop reading their blogs, it really helps prevent rumination.

Next, make a list of all the things your ex did that bugged you. We tend to view our past through rose-colored glasses so making a list of the negatives helps you to see the relationship more realistically.

Lastly, invest in some self-care. Bubble baths, video games, really good chocolate, anything you can turn to when you get down in the dumps that'll help pick you up.

Beyond that, you're doing everything right, keep going.
WiiDSmoker's avatar

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Sounds like you are going through a lot of rough somethin somethin. Sounds like you need to just take it a day at a time. Unfortunately, in a situation like this, strong emotional control is the key. And only time will heal. It does get easier. But for the time being, choose the right time to vent and let everything off your chest because bottling it up is not healthy. Secondly, keep doing what your doing, and just find things to get your mind off of it. If you want, you can just go into a chat room and talk to other people. It helps you to stop thinking about your current situation. You can also read about other people's problems. Or watch tv, something mindless. Relax, maybe take a bath and listen to whatever music you want. Writing is good, and even arts and crafts to distract you from thinking about stuff. Goodluck.
frank_the_rabbit's avatar

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Music. Or if you're artistic, drawing and music. As corny as it sounds, music can dull you and release you from reality. If you're 21+ drink with the other two to enhance it. Do not go out and whore around. Do not do anything stupid. Do not, for the love of whatever entity you worship, try to salvage anything. Life is a journey, move on to the next step. Leave all behind and enjoy the ride. Someone will want to be with you again and they may not be the one either, but it's worth a shot. I'm not usually this encouraging, take it as you will.
That is definitely a shitty past two weeks. I'm sorry that you're going through it, because it's hard.

I don't have any advice because I'm in a similar boat (but all I have happening is being broken up with). I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I've been told to just look to the future, not talk to my ex, and remember that there's someone else out there for me. I'm trying to spend time with friend even though I'm in a state where I don't even feel like doing the things I normally love to do. I'm going shopping today for one. Retail therapy ftw~

I wish you the best, truly. Remember, only time will heal. Happiness will come again eventually.
Noodlepuss's avatar

Tipsy Kitten

I think whats most important now is rediscovering yourself.
I find when people are in relationships they kind of lose themselves and start focusing on the other person rather than their own interests and hobbies.
Whenever I go through a break up I think it's really helpful to distract myself and start picking up new interests. Going for long walks was helpful, too.
Keep yourself busy; it'll stop you from feeling sorry for yourself and from missing him. On top of that you might be able to meet new people while trying new things.


I also understand how you feel with the whole hellish week situation. The week before Christmas my grandmother and 23 year old cousin died. Then the next week I missed a week of school and fell pretty behind. Things get better though and life moves on.
Delavie's avatar

Survivor

frank_the_rabbit
Music. Or if you're artistic, drawing and music. As corny as it sounds, music can dull you and release you from reality. If you're 21+ drink with the other two to enhance it. Do not go out and whore around. Do not do anything stupid. Do not, for the love of whatever entity you worship, try to salvage anything. Life is a journey, move on to the next step. Leave all behind and enjoy the ride. Someone will want to be with you again and they may not be the one either, but it's worth a shot. I'm not usually this encouraging, take it as you will.



Alright, so you creep me out a little...this sounds eerily like something I would tell myself. Or other people who might be in this situation.

Lol... "don't go whore around"... Sweetie, I'm glad I don't have the guts.

Thanks for your advice.
discpline, distraction and dance classes.

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