Pink Houses
(?)Community Member
- Posted: Wed, 17 Dec 2008 13:33:25 +0000
Wow. Just got to say...horrible night last night..my boyfriend confessed to me his secret of wanting to be...a girl. He feels that if he was able to, he'd get the full blown surgery and everything, but most likely, he'd take hormonal pills to just make it where he has the appearance of a female.
His parents (which he hasn't told) and I am the only people in his way of going through with this. A part of me is telling me to be supportive of him, but I can't. I don't feel this would do anything. He was born male and will REMAIN male no matter what he does in my eyes. But I won't be physically attracted to him.
Basically why he wants to do this "change":
-he feels he'd have more self-esteem
-he feels the "girly" things he does would then become acceptable
-he hates the male genetailia
Why I don't want him to:
-I fell in love with him for who he was. He doesn't have to change to make me accept his "girly" traits, even if society doesn't want to.
-Would put a huge dent in our relationship, most likely just ripping us apart.
He told me we could then be "friends". But I don't want that. I want a BOYFRIEND, who I fell in love with! Imagine a mother dying and the father bringing in some other lady in the kids life. They may take care of the kid, but it isn't the same. It's not "mommy". Just like how he won't be "Jake"* ever again. He's killing "Jake" to be someone he's not.
Does this make me selfish? I don't mean to be, but I feel like he wants this more then he wants me. He said if he does go through the change and I manage to stay with him, then we'd just not have sex.
In my opinion really, he won't be the same. This won't be "Jake" anymore. It'd be like giving me someone with the same personality and everything and telling me it's "Jake" but it's not.
I don't have anyone else to talk to at the moment, and I really don't know what to do about this, LI. I'm hurt by this, and feel horrible for saying how I'm against it even if I supposedly should be supporting him in this. ...Help?
*Name changed
His parents (which he hasn't told) and I am the only people in his way of going through with this. A part of me is telling me to be supportive of him, but I can't. I don't feel this would do anything. He was born male and will REMAIN male no matter what he does in my eyes. But I won't be physically attracted to him.
Basically why he wants to do this "change":
-he feels he'd have more self-esteem
-he feels the "girly" things he does would then become acceptable
-he hates the male genetailia
Why I don't want him to:
-I fell in love with him for who he was. He doesn't have to change to make me accept his "girly" traits, even if society doesn't want to.
-Would put a huge dent in our relationship, most likely just ripping us apart.
He told me we could then be "friends". But I don't want that. I want a BOYFRIEND, who I fell in love with! Imagine a mother dying and the father bringing in some other lady in the kids life. They may take care of the kid, but it isn't the same. It's not "mommy". Just like how he won't be "Jake"* ever again. He's killing "Jake" to be someone he's not.
Does this make me selfish? I don't mean to be, but I feel like he wants this more then he wants me. He said if he does go through the change and I manage to stay with him, then we'd just not have sex.
In my opinion really, he won't be the same. This won't be "Jake" anymore. It'd be like giving me someone with the same personality and everything and telling me it's "Jake" but it's not.
I don't have anyone else to talk to at the moment, and I really don't know what to do about this, LI. I'm hurt by this, and feel horrible for saying how I'm against it even if I supposedly should be supporting him in this. ...Help?
*Name changed