So he apparently cheated on her

[xwishfulthinkerx]

Alright so I'm writing in regards to a breakup that my roommate just went through with her boyfriend.

So my roommate had never had a boyfriend before college. She'd never had or first kiss or anything like that. So in like the second week of classes she meets this guy, Jim and they started to hangout a lot. The problem with Jim was the fact that he had recently gotten out of a five year relationship... the girl he said was a total psycho b***h though and that he wasn't attracted to her in the least bit anymore. So my roommate had a hard time believing him and kept thinking she was the rebound girl but after a while he convinced her that he really like her. All of his friends would hangout with her and message her as well and tell her that Jim really had a thing for her.

So one thing lead to another and they started to date. During the first month of their relationship they also had sex for the first time. They got pretty serious and he went home with her over our fall break and met all of her friends from home and her family. Saturday night he went home to his own house and he rode back to school with her on Sunday. Sunday my roommate noticed he was acting funny and he said oh nothing, I just talked to my ex to finish things. I don't even like her at all anymore blah blah.

So they've been hanging out a lot lately but my roommate still gets weird feelings about him. Apparently the other day he just admitted to her that he once lived with his ex for a year in Texas. My roommate said she asked him about this and earlier he totally denied it all.

So fast forward to this morning, my roommate got a facebook message from her boyfriends ex. It was a long a** message and it was incredibly detailed. It's subject was: Please tell your "boyfriend" to leave me alone. She said that Jim continued to contact her all the time and wouldn't leave her alone. She said that the one night Jim was home for fall break the two of them got together and Jim denied being in a relationship with my roommate and so Jim and her ended up having sex. She also said that Jim messaged her one time and said that when him and my roommate had sex for the first time and he said that he thought of his ex and came. It just said a bunch of stuff like that. Stuff that pissed me off royally when I read it.

So after reading that message and regaining her composure I ride with her over to Jim's and she ends things. He was apparently crying when he opened the door and was like "I dunno why my ex keeps texting me and.." then my roommate cut him off and was like "I don't wanna hear it.. we are done." He then starts to raise his voice and she sprints out of his house.

Now that that whole process is over my roommate is talking to some of Jim's best friends and they are starting to tell her that Jim's ex really is a psycho b***h and that they don't see Jim really doing something like that. Jim's roommates girlfriend also said that she just didn't see why he'd keep something like that hidden from his roommate.

So now she's starting to question who to believe. She's thinking about calling his ex to hear the story straight from her. Apparently Jim's ex said that ever since my roommate broke up with Jim that he has been sending her threatening texts and that her parents are filing a restraining order.

My question is this: What are you guys opinions on all of this. I'm sorry I know it was a lot to read and might not have completely made since. I feel so bad for her though. He was her first everything and now she's totally crushed. sad

[Atypical Egg]

I can't believe she ended the relationship without talking to him. The message could have easily been lies by the ex because she's jealous. It was unthoughtful and rash of her to break up with him without talking to him at all about it.

It sounds like your room mate never had much trust in her boyfriend to begin with, so maybe it's best if things end the way they are now. If she can't even maintain a decent level of respect and trust in him in the relationship, she's not worth his time.

[sweetcharades1234]

It's a he said/she said. I personally can understand why your roommate left him. He needs to settle his s**t with his ex so he can have a healthy relationship with someone new. I mean, whether she is a psycho b***h or not, his keeping things from her was impeding on the relationship. I mean, it doesn't sound like she knew about the situation with the ex much at all. (I know guys don't talk much of their exes, but even a little bit about how he felt she was psycho would have helped.) It doesn't sound like your roommate and this guy are a good match at this point with her trust issues, since she left him based on what his ex said, and his issues with openness.

[xwishfulthinkerx]

Atypical Egg

I can't believe she ended the relationship without talking to him. The message could have easily been lies by the ex because she's jealous. It was unthoughtful and rash of her to break up with him without talking to him at all about it.

It sounds like your room mate never had much trust in her boyfriend to begin with, so maybe it's best if things end the way they are now. If she can't even maintain a decent level of respect and trust in him in the relationship, she's not worth his time.

Well she has had trust issues all of her life. Now she's regretting everything and she's saying that it doesn't seem like Sam. She doesn't think he would be that much of a d**k to her. She's trying to figure this stuff out though.

I understand that one probably shouldn't be so rash but the way the ex put it seemed so real. It was like 8 paragraphs of description and the things she said were so harsh... I dunno. It's so hard to know who to believe.

Of course it is possible that the ex could be a psycho b***h. All of Jim's friends think she is bullshitting though.

She acted so rash because it was like a huge slap in the face.

[xwishfulthinkerx]

sweetcharades1234

It's a he said/she said. I personally can understand why your roommate left him. He needs to settle his s**t with his ex so he can have a healthy relationship with someone new. I mean, whether she is a psycho b***h or not, his keeping things from her was impeding on the relationship. I mean, it doesn't sound like she knew about the situation with the ex much at all. (I know guys don't talk much of their exes, but even a little bit about how he felt she was psycho would have helped.) It doesn't sound like your roommate and this guy are a good match at this point with her trust issues, since she left him based on what his ex said, and his issues with openness.

Yeah.. she did have a hard time trusting him. Eventually though he like ripped up his ex's picture and he legitly seemed like everything was done. He keeps texting her and saying if it means anything I did not have sex with her.. that's probably the only truth you've heard today. I feel so bad for her. She keeps getting so many sides of the story and it's really screwing with her.

[cutepuppyeyes]

You're a friend of hers right? Well you could have tell her that she should have talk to him first. Like don't end something without talking about it. Because you have to get the story of both sides. I mean you guys should have listen to him and then confront the other girl.

[sweetcharades1234]

xwishfulthinkerx

sweetcharades1234

It's a he said/she said. I personally can understand why your roommate left him. He needs to settle his s**t with his ex so he can have a healthy relationship with someone new. I mean, whether she is a psycho b***h or not, his keeping things from her was impeding on the relationship. I mean, it doesn't sound like she knew about the situation with the ex much at all. (I know guys don't talk much of their exes, but even a little bit about how he felt she was psycho would have helped.) It doesn't sound like your roommate and this guy are a good match at this point with her trust issues, since she left him based on what his ex said, and his issues with openness.

Yeah.. she did have a hard time trusting him. Eventually though he like ripped up his ex's picture and he legitly seemed like everything was done. He keeps texting her and saying if it means anything I did not have sex with her.. that's probably the only truth you've heard today. I feel so bad for her. She keeps getting so many sides of the story and it's really screwing with her.

You know what I think she should do? Tell everyone to shut the ******** up and leave her to her thoughts. She's heard enough and hearing it more is probably just stressing her out. Her now-ex needs to stop it and his ex needs to stop it. Everyone needs to just let her think it over.

[xwishfulthinkerx]

cutepuppyeyes

You're a friend of hers right? Well you could have tell her that she should have talk to him first. Like don't end something without talking about it. Because you have to get the story of both sides. I mean you guys should have listen to him and then confront the other girl.

I think she might try and listen to his side but right now she is just so overwhelmed. I mean everything does seem pretty fishy. She's had weird random feelings about their relationship but she has been ignoring them, Jim was in a 5 year relationship with that other girl, that message was really detailed, etc. The thing that bothered her was that he was crying when he answered the door. That seemed like a total sign of guilt to her.

[xwishfulthinkerx]

sweetcharades1234

xwishfulthinkerx

sweetcharades1234

It's a he said/she said. I personally can understand why your roommate left him. He needs to settle his s**t with his ex so he can have a healthy relationship with someone new. I mean, whether she is a psycho b***h or not, his keeping things from her was impeding on the relationship. I mean, it doesn't sound like she knew about the situation with the ex much at all. (I know guys don't talk much of their exes, but even a little bit about how he felt she was psycho would have helped.) It doesn't sound like your roommate and this guy are a good match at this point with her trust issues, since she left him based on what his ex said, and his issues with openness.

Yeah.. she did have a hard time trusting him. Eventually though he like ripped up his ex's picture and he legitly seemed like everything was done. He keeps texting her and saying if it means anything I did not have sex with her.. that's probably the only truth you've heard today. I feel so bad for her. She keeps getting so many sides of the story and it's really screwing with her.

You know what I think she should do? Tell everyone to shut the ******** up and leave her to her thoughts. She's heard enough and hearing it more is probably just stressing her out. Her now-ex needs to stop it and his ex needs to stop it. Everyone needs to just let her think it over.

I definitely agree with you. I think she needs a couple days just to think everything over. She's going tonight with Jim's roommate's girlfriend so that they can both get their nails done together and b***h about their relationships (she has been having trouble with her boyfriend too) so I'm hoping that will do my roommate some good.

[sweetcharades1234]

xwishfulthinkerx

sweetcharades1234

xwishfulthinkerx

sweetcharades1234

It's a he said/she said. I personally can understand why your roommate left him. He needs to settle his s**t with his ex so he can have a healthy relationship with someone new. I mean, whether she is a psycho b***h or not, his keeping things from her was impeding on the relationship. I mean, it doesn't sound like she knew about the situation with the ex much at all. (I know guys don't talk much of their exes, but even a little bit about how he felt she was psycho would have helped.) It doesn't sound like your roommate and this guy are a good match at this point with her trust issues, since she left him based on what his ex said, and his issues with openness.

Yeah.. she did have a hard time trusting him. Eventually though he like ripped up his ex's picture and he legitly seemed like everything was done. He keeps texting her and saying if it means anything I did not have sex with her.. that's probably the only truth you've heard today. I feel so bad for her. She keeps getting so many sides of the story and it's really screwing with her.

You know what I think she should do? Tell everyone to shut the ******** up and leave her to her thoughts. She's heard enough and hearing it more is probably just stressing her out. Her now-ex needs to stop it and his ex needs to stop it. Everyone needs to just let her think it over.

I definitely agree with you. I think she needs a couple days just to think everything over. She's going tonight with Jim's roommate's girlfriend so that they can both get their nails done together and b***h about their relationships (she has been having trouble with her boyfriend too) so I'm hoping that will do my roommate some good.

That sounds good. She needs to be able to relax.