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captain buttcheeks's avatar

Lonely Smoker

my boyfriend and i have been on and off (but really always on *in heart* ********) for a year and a half. we're one of those pairs who have already planned our lives together and we're very much in love with each other. we inspire each other, whatever. i don't wanna keep going, and i know you don't wanna hear it.

so he cheated on me last weekend. that marks the fourth time he's cheated on me.

i've become really wishy washy about forgiving him this time, because this time he wasn't planning on telling me for a very long time.
also, after every other time he's cheated on me, he's told me he'll change. obviously this hasn't happened. i don't know how he will change.


but i don't want to leave him because i'm in love with him. i really truly am. i think he's the one for me. i have never cheated on him, i have never thought of cheating on him. he's the only man i've been attracted to for the past year and a half.

all of my other friends have only allowed their boyfriends to cheat on them once. after that, they're out of the relationship.

so i'm wondering. when should i stop giving him these chances?

also, in case it comes to this:

does every guy cheat on the girl they're with? just for future reference, i'd like to know.
In my opinion, cheating has always been unacceptable. there is no reason for him to do it other than he does not love you, It's nice that your forgiving because you love him so much but I honestly think your wasting your time.
No, not every guy is a cheater. That's just sexist, ma'am. Women have as much ability to cheat as do men.

Also, if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't give him another chance, because with him breaking his promise to change (which even you mentioned) probably means he'll never change. Do you honestly think you'd be happy with him, knowing he's betrayed your relationship that much already?? Who's to say it won't happen again, and again, and again?? I think you need to get out more and find more people to hang out with. Unless you don't mind polyamourism (which you DO seem to mind, given your story) then I suggest ending it.
captain buttcheeks's avatar

Lonely Smoker

mmkay. thank you (: i will be dumping him shortly.
teacupsue's avatar

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Wanna know why he won't stop cheating? You keep giving him chances. He's so sure he's going to keep you no mater what he just does whatever he wants. He doesn't care if it hurts you, he's just going to keep going since you always forgive him. Let's also not forget all the STDs he's risking giving you.

My boyfriend have been together about the same amount of time, and in a long distance relationship. He's never cheated and neither have I. Trust me, he's a horrible lier. So am I, so we don't even bother lying to each other. We have too much respect. We love each other very much. I'm moving 300 miles to be with him, and he's stayed with me through drug addiction. I'm 8 months sober thanks to him. If that isn't love, then I don't know what is.

Ultimately, it's your decision. I personally would've told him to rot in hell the first time.
Yep. Oh, and for the record, if he were to eventually come crawling back, I wouldn't give him a second glance. I'd just tell him to hit the road, because he blew his chance.
Obviously something's amiss when the love of your life has cheated on you four times.
as much as you think you're in love with him his feelings are not reciprocated else he wouldn't cheat
once could almost past for a mistake....almost. anything beyond that is plain retarded
if he knows you'll forgive him then he knows he can do whatever the ******** he likes
so unless you plan on being treated like a doormat for the foreseeable future, i suggest you kick his cheating a** as hard as you can and advise him that he has ruined your relationship and its over.
Sophisticated Simplicity's avatar

Greedy Cat

Not every guy cheats on their girlfriend, and 4 times is well, 4 times too many, TBH.
I ended things with my ex after I found out he had been cheating. At first he lied about it and I believed him...but not long after that I realized he was lying. I ended things. I didn't officially break up with him. I just stopped talking to him, and I stopped calling him. I think he pretty much got the message. It took a lot of will power though. I thought I was so very much in love with him, and it took a while...but I did get over him. I hope you do what I believe is best and leave him. No one deserves to be hurt like that.
You might love him, but he obviously doesn't love you.
Artemis Suueetsu's avatar

Dangerous Lunatic

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I think you should have left him the first time. If you wanted to give him a second chance, then you should have left the second.

He's going to keep doing it. Save yourself the heartache, and leave him
Don't lose your faith in all men, though. A good man doesn't cheat. Every man has desires but the good ones know they can only look and not touch and can fight temptation.
!d!ot Amer!ca's avatar

Dapper Dabbler

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          Cheating is never acceptable.
          Dump him whether you love him or not.
          It's not worth the heart-ache.
          And no, not every guy cheats.
          I was with... Two guys who never cheated on me.
          My current boyfriend hasn't cheated on me, and I doubt he will.
          It just seems like you and your friends have horrible luck with cheaters.
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