Scared of losing boyfriend

[SailorsGirl93]

So my boyfriend deploys early next year and I am so scared. I am still in school and will be graduating for college this coming May. I will be going to Grad School after that. His home state is different than mine. He plans to go back home after deployment which I don't blame him for at all. I think I'll have to stay in state because of money for school but I don't want to loose him. He wants me to move to his state after I finish school. But I am afraid that I'll move out there, get a job and then we might break up. Idk what to do. I am so scared.

[SailorsGirl93]

Any Advice?

[mangachan]

Good job being aware of what may happen should you build a life out there and things don't work out. That is an extremely valid issue. You don't want to put your life entirely on hold for a man and a good man wouldn't ask that of you. That being said, I'd highly encourage you to go through a LDR at least until you can graduate. You COULD get a job that would allow you to support yourself AFTER you graduate so that way if you moved to his state, you wouldn't be on the street if things went bad. If you guys are both willing to be faithful and committed, this can work. You will have to evaluate your paths and see if this will be able to work long term though.

Just doing an LDR isn't going to doom things. My parents went through that phase when my mom was in college. After my mom got out of college, they pretty much got married right away and they've been together for 46 years. It was because they had similar long term goals and BOTH of them were serious about each other and about their commitment.

[SailorsGirl93]

Any more advice?

[Delightful_FOOL]

If your paths go in different directions, that's what they're going to do. No use in fighting it. Then again, this is a while down the road, I'm guessing? In which case: you can either
a) enjoy it while it lasts or
b) break up now and accept the inevitable.

[SailorsGirl93]

crying

[SailorsGirl93]

Delightful_FOOL

If your paths go in different directions, that's what they're going to do. No use in fighting it. Then again, this is a while down the road, I'm guessing? In which case: you can either
a) enjoy it while it lasts or
b) break up now and accept the inevitable.

So you don't think there is anyway it will work out?
We have about 4-5 months before he deploys.

[SailorsGirl93]

Lavena Epona

If you guys survive the long distance relationship, there's a very good chance things will work out afterwards. I went to school overseas for 2 years while my then boyfriend was working back home. I spent whatever breaks I could with him back home, and we made time to chat via Skype once a week. We are now happily married. ^.^

If it was me, I wouldn't fret about the choice of whether to move to his state until you come to that junction. You could always apply to grad schools in your home state and his, then make the decision based on what school is better for you academically and financially. If you're still together after the next couple years you spend in grad school, then worry about where you're going to move. There's a chance that after a few years of being back, he'd rather move to wherever you are.

We have been long distance on and off due to his and my job and my schooling.

[SailorsGirl93]

Delightful_FOOL

If your paths go in different directions, that's what they're going to do. No use in fighting it. Then again, this is a while down the road, I'm guessing? In which case: you can either
a) enjoy it while it lasts or
b) break up now and accept the inevitable.

I am closing down therad. Please delete postings

[SailorsGirl93]

Lavena Epona

If you guys survive the long distance relationship, there's a very good chance things will work out afterwards. I went to school overseas for 2 years while my then boyfriend was working back home. I spent whatever breaks I could with him back home, and we made time to chat via Skype once a week. We are now happily married. ^.^

If it was me, I wouldn't fret about the choice of whether to move to his state until you come to that junction. You could always apply to grad schools in your home state and his, then make the decision based on what school is better for you academically and financially. If you're still together after the next couple years you spend in grad school, then worry about where you're going to move. There's a chance that after a few years of being back, he'd rather move to wherever you are.

Please delete this. Closing down thread and wand to get rid of stuff.