raped or not?

[Dr. Yay]

I think that you were completely violated, that you had no other choice. You were scared, so you had to abide.

[Maaaps]

That`s not necessarily rape. Because you agreed to go to the back, however reluctantly, you still went along with it. Rape is out of the blue, and unwanted.

[dDavidb]

That's definetly rape, you don't owe him anything. Don't let it pull you down, it's hard, but stop let him get the best of you.

[Wulfthryth]

barbsy

Dare Wolf

Mr_Lee_

Its not rape in the dictionary sense of the word - you consented. The dictionary definition is 'a sexual act that has one of the persons not consenting to it' - so, in essence, it was mental rape, something thats far worse than physical rape.

.

I'm sorry but NO. People that get forcibly rapped have it far worse and many have problems for many years afterwards. Many have problems for the rest of their lives afterwards.

She was taken advantage of but it's not the same as...well...forced rape.

I'm not sure what to classify this as, in a way you wern't rapped because you did conscent however when you decided you wanted to change your mind you should have been more forcefull about it. He might have been dumb and horny and not picked up on the fact that you didn't want to do it...he might have thought you where just nervous. However he should have noticed...you'd think.

You're both at fault.

any form of sexual abuse wether its "rape" in the classic sense...mollestation or violation is traumatic...

3 years down the track i still have nightmares bout all the s**t i went through with that guy. I still dont feel 100% comfortable around males...

I agree with you 100% it is tramatic. However, I think it's a little disrespectful to imply that girls that are forcibly raped by someone have experienced a form of sexual abuse that isn't as bad.

I also hope I didn't sound rude when I said that both you and your boy friend were at fault. That was merely my oppinion.

[DoomPrawn]

daemonar

No offence but seeing as you pretty much went with him, it isn't rape. Rape is forceful penetration of an unwilling male/female who has no part in acting in the sexual pretense of what is happening. You on the other hand DID help with it seeing as you got "passionate" with this guy. Anyway, sorry for your pain, egg his house.

Sounds forceful to me, he forced himself inside her while she was making verbal clues to her pain and tearing up. She bled for days. That's not normal as far as I know, she probably had ripped insides. I think that's absolutely brual and unacceptable.

It may not have been legal, convictable in court rape, but it was definately some sort of sexual assault. Rape in my books.

DakotaTigress

Rape doesn't have to be someone holding you down while you're screaming for your life

[Vulcan Death Grip]

Rape is when you are forced to do something like that against your will or if you are too young to understand what is going on. I would consider that rape. Very very much so

[Thyna]

Legally it wouldn't be considered rape. but the experience is still traumatizing
There are a couple of guilds for survivors opening up if you would like to join.
I am sure you would be most welcome

Here is a link to one
http://www.gaiaonline.com/gaia/redirect.php?r=http://www.gaiaonline.com%2Fguilds%2Findex.php%3Fpage_mode%3D4%26guild_id%3D4945

I will pm you with it as well

[Nuzzles]

I agree with your opinion on rape and I know how you feel -.- I don't know what to say because I am still trying to get over the situation myself ... I think you should talk to someone in real life about it I didn't and I kept it supressed for 10 years and now that I am 18 for some reason these ******** memories keep coming back so don't let that happen to you... it's very hard to cope with the longer you keep it to yourself I even have a few scars ... even one forming from last week so please talk to a counselor or something and you can ask the counselor to keep things confidential I think it's a bit too late for me to talk to a counselor about anything but the way you describe it I think you still have time to talk about things with someone

[GostStorm]

Its totaly rape if u are forced in to it its rape even if u feel u have to do it u have a choise u dont have to do any thing he forsed it on u its rape and dont go to a counciler they will only make it worse talk to some one u love and can trust

[Dave the lost]

Sexual abuse, yes, definately, indictible rape...debatable, I doubt you'd have much luck getting him arrested for rape.

Quote:

I kept it supressed for 10 years and now that I am 18

Who the hell would rape an 8 year old girl evil

bloody sickos

[xpDarkAngel]

Im sorry but it doesent seem like "rape" but just maybe a bad choise and bad experiance sad Im sorry

[Brokenkitten88]

It wasn't technicaly rape, you went along with it, you did nothing to push him off of you or anything.

[THE FAIRY TALE PRINCESS]

1. Did you say he could (overall)
2. Were you sober at the time (if you weren't it's rape)
3. And if you're a minor it's still illegal anyway.

[Kaaosa_]

barbsy

rape has so many meaning these days...hard to define...some say its when u say "no" but they keep going other say that its when your body is abused in a sexual way by someone...

my experience i think of as rape...i might not have said NO but i made it pretty clear i wasnt happy...

here's my story

he was a year older then me "mister mature" the "sex expert"
we were together for just over a month he was the first i did anythin sexual with...kinda felt like i had to...bit pressured

we were out celebrating valentines day, went movies at which we fooled around a bit...that wk he kinda convinced me that i should lose it that day

i thought he loved me
i thought i was ready
the nearer the time got the less convinced i was

after movies we got in the car n he went to find the right stop, first place too many ppl, same with the next 2, i got nervous, had second thoughts and i go lets just go home n he was like theres one more spot...i felt like i owed it to him to go through with it

we ended up in a secluded area...closest ppl a km away...i had jumped in the deep end...we basically drove past my place but he wouldnt take me home...i felt too embarrassed to say anything

he told me to get in the back seat...i was naive...i was in denial of what was happening...reluctently i went into the back with him,

he told me to get on top...he had condoms...no lube...i was a virgin...i thought he loved me i was wrong...very wrong...

he couldnt get in it and kept pushin me down hard and makin me feel stupid cos it wouldnt go in...NO LUBE, didnt even finger me...it was so painful and i did say "ouch" couple times but he never stopped and i go maybe its not the right time

instead of stopping he told me to lie down...the sort of tone i couldnt say no too...i was scared...he stuck a finger in...1 FINGER before tryin to ram his d**k in me again...i had tears forming...he blew his load soon after...he didnt even kiss me after...just goes to get dressed and lets go home...

i couldnt go toilet for a day, it hurt to walk, i bled for 4-5 days not just once or twice lightly but basically my discharge was pink or bloody nearly for 4 days straight

i was ashamed to tell anyone thinking i was the stupid one that i was in the wrong

what about the guy? he ignored me for a whole week after that...then called me once before goin out with his mates (i found out he was flirtin n checkin out chicks and tellin my mates that his rule was "u can look but not touch" wink few days after the phone call he dumped me over the net sayin i was gona get fat...

i didnt let any guy touch me in that way for another 8 months after that...i would cry in my next boyfriends arms when we would get the tiniest bit passionate and he'd try fingerin me or somethin like it....i would just break down...

alot of ppl dont consider what i went through rape because i didnt say no or try get away...the guy was stronger then me, he was supposed to be a friend i've known for 3 yrs, we were in the middle of nowhere and i just felt like i had to perform...

few, very few say that i have been violated...raped not in the most common sense but there was excess force used, there was emotional abuse with it....i was used and betrayed


i guess i just want to know what people out there believe is rape...

Was it good?

[mizz_bling]

I think it was rape becaue he was forceful of you and sometimes you cant say know because you are afraid of their reaction, and that if u play it cool you might be able to get out of it without getting hurt. It's just different coping strategies....if he hurt you and you did not consent then it is rape. For the people who have said that simply not saying yes is not a good enough form of protest...i was molested when i was 3/4 - i didn't even kow what it was til i became sexually aware - how was supposed to say no, when someone older than me was telling me it was good???