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I live in a family of 6. I have two brothers, and one sister. I am currently dating my boyfriend, and we've been together for little under 1 year. Our anniversary is 1 week After Valentine's day.

ANYWAYS.

My family does not allow dating, so I secretly have to do it. Yes, it's been a year, and my parents still haven't figured it out, and if they did know I'd probably be out of the house. Both my brothers support me dating my boyfriend because they have met him, and they have realized he's sweet and nice. My sister on the other hand.. I understand she doesn't support Jon and I for multiple of reasons, but she only know what I've told her about our relationship, she doesn't know the half of it. Sometimes, she'd come up to me and say "Oh, well, you two aren't going to last, and when you don't, I'll be there for you." It honestly pisses me off. It's like she's hoping for us to crash and split up, and for me to have a broken heart. I dont care what anyone thinks, because it's MY Life. And Im so sick and tired of people trying to control me, and I'm tired of people walking all over me. I'm tired of it. Not only that, but whenever I'm in School with her (Im a Junior, my sister's a Senior) She constantly takes her crap out on me whenever she's mad..

I don't know what to do anymore. I love this guy, I plan on moving in with him, but, all the stress and the crap talk I get for being with him just makes me so depressed and honestly sad.. I keep trying to talk to her but then she just blows me off by telling me how much "stupidity" I have in my life, and that I'm going to rot in hell for dating him. It's so saddening....I rely on her and tell her everything because she's my sister, but she doesn't treat me like one..

I'm tired of people walking over me and telling me what to do..
angel_259236102's avatar

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Dude, you are what? 16 at most? The reality of it is that you probably wont last. This isnt her being mean, this is a realistic view on highschool relationships. Almost ALL of them dont stay together, there is only the odd few that do, and so you have to face that fact.

Then the fact that you are secrely dating doesnt bode well either. You need to not rely on her though, she is your sister but that doesnt mean she is you.Rely on yourself.
angel_259236102
Dude, you are what? 16 at most? The reality of it is that you probably wont last. This isnt her being mean, this is a realistic view on highschool relationships. Almost ALL of them dont stay together, there is only the odd few that do, and so you have to face that fact.

Then the fact that you are secrely dating doesnt bode well either. You need to not rely on her though, she is your sister but that doesnt mean she is you.Rely on yourself.


I understand that, and she isn't the first one to tell me. I know what reality is, and what is fantasy, I'm just tired of hearing the same thing over and over and over again. And my boyfriend and I have been through so much, and his parents/family is basicallly my second family. Even they think we'll last. So Honestly, I think I will become one if the "odd few". And she relies on me more than I rely on her. And, she's older.
Robot Giny's avatar

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Maybe you and your boyfriend will be married until you're both 70. Maybe you'll break up next month. That's irrelevant.

If I were you, I would stop confiding in your sister. She's pretty mean to you, and she seems to be okay with taking out her frustrations on you, which isn't okay. Start confiding in some of your friends, or maybe even your brothers. But take your sister off the table, she's obviously more interested in condemning you then supporting you.
angel_259236102
Dude, you are what? 16 at most? The reality of it is that you probably wont last. This isn't her being mean, this is a realistic view on high school relationships. Almost ALL of them don't stay together, there is only the odd few that do, and so you have to face that fact.

Then the fact that you are secretly dating doesn't bode well either. You need to not rely on her though, she is your sister but that doesn't mean she is you.Rely on yourself.



Also, even if it is going to last, then you're going to have a long time together, so there no reason to rush ANYTHING. Enjoy your time as a teen. You'll never have the chance again. If It's really so much of a problem, then maybe you and your boyfriend should both get jobs and save money so you can move out when you turn 18.
Judging from the fact you said you're a Junior, I'm going to guess you're 16 or 17?

I can tell you from experience, secret relationships do not always work out. You get so tired of having to run around and hide that it becomes more work than fun. You really should be glad your sister hasn't told on you yet. Have you thought about what could happen if she did? That's something you really need to take some time to think about. Are you honestly willing to betray your parent's trust over a guy? Where will you go IF they find out?

I think you guys should hold off on the relationship until you're both 18 and you can move out. Start saving now. It won't sound as bad because you'll have something to look forward to in the future.

I wouldn't tell sister anything either. She takes her frustration out on you, so the next time you point out something bad she did, she'll bring up the fact you're secretly dating a guy.
Bunny Butts's avatar

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Go to hell for dating him?.. Seriously? Don't talk to your sister about your personal business.
Rhouis's avatar

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A lot of people (parents normally) don't support teenagers dating, as they don't want to run the risk of you getting 'heartbroken' so young. They want you to develope and become a stronger person before going through that drama. Therefore, your sister is probably taking over that role. Trying to bring your relationship down before you get too indulged in it, to prevent too much mess going on. It's like a protection thing. At your age, she probably doesn't think it'll last (as you and your boyfriend will be going through a lot of changes and growing at your age) so is trying to bring you to the reality of that.

But, at the end of the day, you just need to ignore it. Focus on your relationship. Which entails trying to be more supporting of it. Speak to your parents about allowing you to date under their supervision. Might seem a little bleak as you've been together nearly a year already and you'll have to go back to being a 'new' couple, but it'll help your relationship. Young relationships are hard enough as it is without the stress of keeping it secret and having everyone challenging you.
Whooa there slow down honey. I know you're young and your hormones are going all crazy and you think you love this guy. I'm not saying that you don't, I fell in love with my current bf at 14 and I'm 21 now so I'm not saying teens can't fall in love. I'm just saying keeping it from your family is going to have some severe backlashes. Your parents probably are going to always kind of hate him because you lied to them for a year. You shouldn't be planning on moving in with him yet. At least not for a few years, it's a pretty big step and not something to just take lightly.

For your sister...It just sounds to me like she's jealous of you being so happy with someone. People get bitter when they see someone happy with someone when they have no one or aren't happy with the person they are with. Or she might just have a really negative views on relationships at a young age due to past experiances. I don't know, i don't know her so I can't really say. Just don't get mad and hold it against her. She's your sister and she loves you. She told you she'd be there for you if it fell apart so she might just think she's being supportive in a weird way.Or, she might just think your stupid for thinking your in love at 16.

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