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Friendly Nerd

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Not sure whats wrong with me buuuut i lack motivation to do pretty much anything. I have no goals and even if i did,id be to lazy to see them through lol I know what i should be doing with my life, Especially the basic things but i simply dont care. Dont talk to many people in real life, i avoid most family because nothing new is going on with me and id rather not hear their lectures >.< Now im not suicidal or crying in a corner everyday,so dont worry .

Honestly whenever im in a relationship,im not like this. Id be motivated. Id go out a lot and work towards goals for us. Doesnt have to be a relationship only,even if it were some best bud who him/her and i shared an apartment or something. When im solo though...im all meh-shrugs- haha stupid right?Im sure im not the only one whos brain works like this but ive been like this for a long time.

I just got a call back for a job interview but im thinking "whats the point,ill probably just end up quitting" If i were on my own,im positive that wouldnt be my mentality (i used to live alone so i know)haha because you know...no one wants to live on tha streets yo .but now im with my parents again. Anyways,just rambling i suppose >.< Also,if anyone wants to flame me,feel free.Doesnt really bug me lol As long as your entertained.

Anyways, just curious who else is like this and to those who are solo ,what makes you motivated?
D TwO
Not sure whats wrong with me buuuut i lack motivation to do pretty much anything. I have no goals and even if i did,id be to lazy to see them through lol I know what i should be doing with my life, Especially the basic things but i simply dont care. Dont talk to many people in real life, i avoid most family because nothing new is going on with me and id rather not hear their lectures >.< Now im not suicidal or crying in a corner everyday,so dont worry .

Honestly whenever im in a relationship,im not like this. Id be motivated. Id go out a lot and work towards goals for us. Doesnt have to be a relationship only,even if it were some best bud who him/her and i shared an apartment or something. When im solo though...im all meh-shrugs- haha stupid right?Im sure im not the only one whos brain works like this but ive been like this for a long time.

I just got a call back for a job interview but im thinking "whats the point,ill probably just end up quitting" If i were on my own,im positive that wouldnt be my mentality (i used to live alone so i know)haha because you know...no one wants to live on tha streets yo .but now im with my parents again. Anyways,just rambling i suppose >.< Also,if anyone wants to flame me,feel free.Doesnt really bug me lol As long as your entertained.

Anyways, just curious who else is like this and to those who are solo ,what makes you motivated?


i used to be a little like that. Like i used to ignore my study and just perform my best when it comes to group projects. Now im in a relationship and she changed my life. Because of her i decided to give it my best shot in the things i do. When i was serving the army, i managed to get a rank of 3rd sergeant. Im currently in a university and i did pretty well, had 2 A 1 B and 1 C. Usually im all C or something. Plus uni is tough as hell lol. I study alot this time round.

I cant seem to perform when im on my own. Like when im at home, i cant study and end up gaming. I have to be in campus, library where everyone is working hard and i feed off their motivational energies or seomthing lol.

I wanna build a life for myself and my gal, so thats my current goal =x Hopefully you find yours

Friendly Nerd

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Yea exactly how i feel when im in a relationship!lol so i guess im not the only one. They bring the best of us out. Oh wow,grats on the 3rd rank. Yea uni was tough as ******** when i went so your not doing to shabby . Plus i met some cool people when i was going. My teachers were the worst though,some came in tipsy xD

Ive always been a gamer so no matter whats going on,ill keep doing that but id still get my studies done etc because i was paying for school >.< Cant waste that kind of money. And haha i know what you mean when you say you see other people working hard,makes you want to as well. One of my exs also believed in sex after marriage so we had to wait as well but she ended up wanting it before that.Besides,we were in love so regret nothing lol

I hope it all works out for you and your girl,sounds like a keeper!Best of luck.and thanks for the words :3

Kawaii Snacker

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I know where you're coming from dude.
I'm currently employed, making just enough to pay bills and buy stuff for myself every once in a while. My parents are constantly on me to get a better, higher paying job because I have the education.
But I just don't know. I guess I just don't see the point either. I mean, what amount of money would be enough? Where will they stop bothering me to find better money?
It's only me and my cats basically (I mean I live in a house with my sister and a friend) but I'm not coming home to anyone. I'm alone and it sucks. Blehhhhh....:saddness:

Moonlight Healer

I can definitely relate to how you're feeling, I'm pretty prone to depression and sometimes I just get a funk where I really don't feel like doing anything but laying in bed all day and I don't see much point in things. I'm also a gamer and sometimes it makes me not even want to play my games.

I think what helps the most in that situation is to just force yourself to get up and do things. It's always a b***h and you never really want to but once you kind of go through the motions and start doing something it'll make you feel better. Also if you don't exercise very much or don't eat well it can really sap your energy. You don't have to be a health nut or anything but if you don't already try to at least take a walk or something everyday, get yourself some fresh air if you've been staring at computer and tv screens all day. It really does help. Try to drink a lot of water too, eat nutritious food when you can. I like to drink green tea or take green tea supplements; it has a little caffeine in it so it perks you up a bit and it's also really good for you. Helps with cravings for junk too.

Have some fun too! Do things you enjoy. Do something creative and engaging when you have time. Don't ignore yourself. I think when we don't have goals and things to look forward to in life it can make things seem pretty pointless.

Also a lot of people feel that way about relationships, it's not weird or anything. You don't have to be dependent on anybody to feel good but having relationships with people you care about and enjoy being around can definitely give you a reason to want to do more. People are social creatures anyway.

Friendly Nerd

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Puping The Turd
I know where you're coming from dude.
I'm currently employed, making just enough to pay bills and buy stuff for myself every once in a while. My parents are constantly on me to get a better, higher paying job because I have the education.
But I just don't know. I guess I just don't see the point either. I mean, what amount of money would be enough? Where will they stop bothering me to find better money?
It's only me and my cats basically (I mean I live in a house with my sister and a friend) but I'm not coming home to anyone. I'm alone and it sucks. Blehhhhh....:saddness:

Ahh!Exactly lol when i was still in highschool etc this crap didnt bother me. Now though,its another story. My parents are always getting on me but i understand why. They just want better for me and not to worry. The fact you are working though and paying bills should be good enough. As long as you can take care of yourself i dont see whyd they hound you >.>

I used to have a cat-whimpers- but she passed sadly.Now shes up in heaven sniffing that cat n** lol but yea...like id go to work,come home,relax for abit,go to work and itd repeat. Not coming home to someone sucks,whether its a friend or boyfriend/Girlfriend.Dont worry i feel your sadness -hugs- BUT HEY.AT LEAST you have your sis and her friend to come home too and your cats.I dont have that luxury xD why is it that your alone may i ask?People at work aint cool?

Friendly Nerd

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Lost Icyis
.

Nuuuu, depression!-hugs- An ex of mine had it severely. Was a pretty tough relationship. But see, im not sure if its depression. I dont end up lying in bed all day or moping around the house. Ill honestly just play a game or text some people,watch a movie or try to stream on twitch to help me be more active with people(though hasnt worked out yet lol)

Ive actually been playing Borderlands lately(favorite friggin game of EVER >.< since they had a new release BUT thats besides the point. I just wish that i could be more motivated to do things even though im single and dont have many in real life friends anymore. I know and see other people who dont have anyone and they are just fine with things. They go to work,excercise, go out alone etc Maybe i need to create small goals such as those to keep my mind off things etc?I dont know.

So yea,what your saying is essentially it. I just need to get my lazy tushie up and do sh*t. I actually been excercising quite a bit the last two weeks inside but thhat kinda fell off already...>///< haha Oh yea...my sleeping schedule got really messed up last month and i guess i wasnt drinking/eating to much and i actually fainted...scariest s**t ever o.o went to the doctor and he said i was fine. Yushhhh i been on a green tea craze for about a year now. Sometimes i buy the actual teabags and other times i cheat and buy the organic bottled one hehe I wanted to cut back on soda and all that crap(though i still drink it time to time)

The problem it seems for me is...i just fall off the routine or path and then it goes back to the same thing. Me not caring.

I just brought it up about being in a relationship because most people i know who are solo are just fine. I wish i had their kind of mentality i suppose. I guess ill try harder to stick to those little goals such as excercising,going out and keeping me busy throughout the day and stick to it.

EDIT:I appreciate you guys taking the time to write back.Love you all <3 oddly i feel better already though im sure ill be back xD

Enduring Associate

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I guess I wouldn't frame this as "if I was in a relationship, I would do X, Y, Z," but rather as, "I have trouble honoring commitments to myself." Which is actually way normal; why do you think so many people have "workout buddies" to get them to go to the gym? We're social creatures, and we tend to care more about bonds with others than we do about doing stuff for ourselves. The useful part about decoupling this from romance is that you can find ways to work around it. Some people find apps to help with that. For example, there's one called Habit RPG that allows you to form parties with other people, which is a nice, social way to keep on task. I'm sure there are others. You can also just do it the old-fashioned way, by making a pact with a friend, or asking a friend to remind you to do X or Y. Also, maybe thinking of yourself as part of a greater thing in general would help? Like, when you get a call to interview, instead of framing it as, "Eff it, I'll just leave at some point," think of it like, "I can help people and better myself by doing this work, even if it is not my career."

Kawaii Snacker

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D TwO
Puping The Turd
I know where you're coming from dude.
I'm currently employed, making just enough to pay bills and buy stuff for myself every once in a while. My parents are constantly on me to get a better, higher paying job because I have the education.
But I just don't know. I guess I just don't see the point either. I mean, what amount of money would be enough? Where will they stop bothering me to find better money?
It's only me and my cats basically (I mean I live in a house with my sister and a friend) but I'm not coming home to anyone. I'm alone and it sucks. Blehhhhh....:saddness:

Ahh!Exactly lol when i was still in highschool etc this crap didnt bother me. Now though,its another story. My parents are always getting on me but i understand why. They just want better for me and not to worry. The fact you are working though and paying bills should be good enough. As long as you can take care of yourself i dont see whyd they hound you >.>

I used to have a cat-whimpers- but she passed sadly.Now shes up in heaven sniffing that cat n** lol but yea...like id go to work,come home,relax for abit,go to work and itd repeat. Not coming home to someone sucks,whether its a friend or boyfriend/Girlfriend.Dont worry i feel your sadness -hugs- BUT HEY.AT LEAST you have your sis and her friend to come home too and your cats.I dont have that luxury xD why is it that your alone may i ask?People at work aint cool?


That sucks about your kitty! ~hugs~ :youshouldgetanotherkitty:

Anyway, i'm not really super totally sure why i'm alone. I live in a pretty dead area and might be a bit picky? That's what my sis says anyway. But it's not like in the past two years i've been single i've had dudes throwing themselves at me. Like I havn't had anyone ask me out. I do the online thing, but i feel very meh about it cause i feel like everyone just wants the booty. lol.
You do seem willing to do things, you are just lacking the goal, and while a relationship helps you get a goal, you cant depend on one to live life by. So why cant you keep up these social links long term? Yeah realtinoships ends but if you are like this with friends, why do thosed fail? what are your interests, if any?

Moonlight Healer

D TwO
Lost Icyis
.

Nuuuu, depression!-hugs- An ex of mine had it severely. Was a pretty tough relationship. But see, im not sure if its depression. I dont end up lying in bed all day or moping around the house. Ill honestly just play a game or text some people,watch a movie or try to stream on twitch to help me be more active with people(though hasnt worked out yet lol)

Ive actually been playing Borderlands lately(favorite friggin game of EVER >.< since they had a new release BUT thats besides the point. I just wish that i could be more motivated to do things even though im single and dont have many in real life friends anymore. I know and see other people who dont have anyone and they are just fine with things. They go to work,excercise, go out alone etc Maybe i need to create small goals such as those to keep my mind off things etc?I dont know.

So yea,what your saying is essentially it. I just need to get my lazy tushie up and do sh*t. I actually been excercising quite a bit the last two weeks inside but thhat kinda fell off already...>///< haha Oh yea...my sleeping schedule got really messed up last month and i guess i wasnt drinking/eating to much and i actually fainted...scariest s**t ever o.o went to the doctor and he said i was fine. Yushhhh i been on a green tea craze for about a year now. Sometimes i buy the actual teabags and other times i cheat and buy the organic bottled one hehe I wanted to cut back on soda and all that crap(though i still drink it time to time)

The problem it seems for me is...i just fall off the routine or path and then it goes back to the same thing. Me not caring.

I just brought it up about being in a relationship because most people i know who are solo are just fine. I wish i had their kind of mentality i suppose. I guess ill try harder to stick to those little goals such as excercising,going out and keeping me busy throughout the day and stick to it.

EDIT:I appreciate you guys taking the time to write back.Love you all <3 oddly i feel better already though im sure ill be back xD

Yeah, depression can really hit you hard and in my opinion it's one of the most difficult things people have to deal with in their lives at times, especially since it tends to be a chronic thing too if you're clinically depressed. It does make relationships really though. I've been with my bf for over 5 years now and in the beginning I was severely depressed; I'm definitely doing better now but yeah, it was for sure rough. I emphasize with you on that. Luckily we were able to work through it.

And sure, perhaps you aren't feeling depressed. I just know for me I definitely lose interest in things and have a hard time finding motivation when my depression kinda creeps up on me. People react differently to depression too, and there are different types. Some people sleep a lot more, some hardly at all, some people lose interest in things they normally like, some completely commit themselves to something as a distraction. It's a complicated thing. But as long as you feel like you're doing okay and managing, that's the important part. You know your feelings best.

And oh, fun :3 I've actually never played borderlands but my bro used to like it a lot. Lately my gaming obsessions have been WoW and Super Smash Bros, lol.

But yeah, just keep trying to get moving! I completely relate on the falling out of routine thing. It's a struggle for a lot of people. But every day is a new opportunity. Just because you fall off track for a little while doesn't mean the things you did (exercise!) didn't get you anywhere. Just pick back up and try again! And yeah, I'm on the green tea craze too, lol. I have noticed it really does help with my appetite, and it's nice to find something healthy that can address it. But yeah, everything in moderation. Maybe try to replace one of the sodas you normally drink everyday with some water and slowly wean yourself down. It's easier than just cutting it cold turkey and being like MMM SUGARRR after a while of deprivation, lol.

And I see what you are saying. Even though people can be self sufficient on their own, I'm sure the majority still get that lonely or what if feeling every now and then. I think a good consequence of learning to be self sufficient and find your own happiness is that you tend to attract love without really looking for it, and then when you do find the right one it's that much better. So yeah, just really push for those small everyday goals. Be realistic, take it a day at a time, and before you know it things get better.

Friendly Nerd

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fubenkunai
I guess I wouldn't frame this as "if I was in a relationship, I would do X, Y, Z," but rather as, "I have trouble honoring commitments to myself." Which is actually way normal; why do you think so many people have "workout buddies" to get them to go to the gym? We're social creatures, and we tend to care more about bonds with others than we do about doing stuff for ourselves. The useful part about decoupling this from romance is that you can find ways to work around it. Some people find apps to help with that. For example, there's one called Habit RPG that allows you to form parties with other people, which is a nice, social way to keep on task. I'm sure there are others. You can also just do it the old-fashioned way, by making a pact with a friend, or asking a friend to remind you to do X or Y. Also, maybe thinking of yourself as part of a greater thing in general would help? Like, when you get a call to interview, instead of framing it as, "Eff it, I'll just leave at some point," think of it like, "I can help people and better myself by doing this work, even if it is not my career."
I understand that,hell,i have been one of those "workout buddies" but im a very weird individual when it comes to socializing lol At moments im not shy at all and can post topics such as this. Other times i wouldnt be able to. I have online friends that would like to webcam with me but i just get all shy and say nuuu >.< and ive known em for years. So usually just typing is the best way for me to communicate.

Well my last friend who i actually hung out with every once in a while moved to another state recently. So now im essentially friendless,least in regards to the real world xD ive used apps as well.Sometimes not the best idea since you meet some crazy insane people who want to stabby stab you but seem all cool at first haha ive tried that approach as well where ill think "By working ill keep busy,socialize and maybe make some new friends!" ...then after a few months ,nothing changed and im all eff it. I know being positive definitely gives me the pushes i need at times but then i end up back here lol

I will take your advice though and try harder.Thanks ^.^

Friendly Nerd

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legnanellaf5
You do seem willing to do things, you are just lacking the goal, and while a relationship helps you get a goal, you cant depend on one to live life by. So why cant you keep up these social links long term? Yeah realtinoships ends but if you are like this with friends, why do thosed fail? what are your interests, if any?
I do try things...and i know i cant depend on others either to how i should live. I dont know,they usually just fall off. Either them or me i guess making an effort to keep in touch. Well friends in real life,they just seem to all have gone their own ways. I tried to contact them again but after a while it feels like a bother since they never have the time.

I have a ton of interest from beaches,anime,movies,games,music,going for walks,photography,art etc etc

I dont know.Maybe i need to see a therapist or something >.<

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