Sm00thi3
(?)Community Member
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- Posted: Thu, 24 Jul 2014 08:13:57 +0000
So as I write this, I have Party Up by DMX playing in the background...
It's post graduation for me, and my laptop is finally starting to decline... As a Mac user, it's just getting to be a bit expensive for me to maintain it, so I'm probably going to convert back to PC. As a Psych major, and former research student, I get really into researching things before I buy them... I don't know... I've spent maybe 3-4 months laptop shopping and am on the verge of quitting this search for a bit haha. I've even enlisted the help of my tech support coworkers.
Anyway, so the issue I'm having now is with my significant other, and I know I've posted in Life Issues about our relationship before, so maybe this should be a sign, but that's neither here or there... Or maybe it is here...
Back on topic: We were having a lot of issues towards the end of our last semester at the U, some of which were that he was criticizing me for what he deemed "gaming addiction". As a research student / campus activist / and head RA I had a lot on my plate work wise. I would literally get out of bed at like 8AM every morning, make us a meal, go to work, come back at 6PM, make dinner, then go out to work again, stay out till like 2-3AM, and come back. On my weekends, I would stay away from the generic campus activities (quizzo, watch a movie, randomly themed dance, etc. etc.). I'd instead kick back, after my homework, and play video games... Yes... me... Latina.... play video games. I'd play for like 1-4 hours in a sitting, pending on whether or not I was playing with friends. My partner who had half my course load, and no job would be reasonably struggling through all of his work, and study as much as I was active on campus. For his fun activities he would make me watch TV shows that I wasn't necessarily interested in, some movies from the 80's or 90's that I didn't really love but enjoyed some. Otherwise, he would want to go out to the bar with our friend group (something I loathe.... I hate bars... They're just so skeevy... and People creep on me... |shiver|). My anxiety skyrockets in bars for many reasons... So I only ever go or have ever gone if I was with those people who knew me best and knew what to do.
The on going issue: Whenever my BF would get stressed out with his work, he would get sad and jealous of others who would be able to procrastinate, not do much hw, and get by with some pretty decent grades. This isn't to say he wasn't doing well, he was a 3.8GPA student. But, he would always criticize me for playing games... He would be like "Is this what the rest of our lives will be like? Are you always going to play video games? Those are for kids... You're 21...." Then I would reply with some less than nice comment like, "i'm sorry I don't enjoy quizzo and monopoly as much as you do. We all have our hobbies let me enjoy mine."
Recently, since all I've been doing is working over the summer, he decided he would call me late at night (since he picked up 2 summer courses to finish off his degree). He would ask me what I had been up to, and I would be totally honest with him and tell him I was shopping for a newer laptop, because mine is quite frankly on its way to being obsolete... It's 8 years old, what could one expect? He asked me what my budget was, and I said I'm trying to stay under 1,500, and he's like why so much money? So, I told him... I want better hardware in my laptop so I can run some of the games that I love to play, and because I only play casually I know this sort of laptop will have longevity (like my Macbook Pro). He immediately gave me the whole "You need to stop playing video games" speech, etc. concerned that I'll be playing video games into my 30s. I literally just like... almost bursted into tears, because I barely talk to him now that we're apart. I play games as a pass-time after a 4 day, 40 hr work week, with my friends.... I call him, he never answers because he's too busy with class... I send him love letters, cute emails, snapchats... But I feel like he's putting more effort into criticizing me for playing video games with my long distance friends, rather than "being productive".... I don't even know what he means at this point.
There's this other thing.... My ex-boyfriend (whom I wasn't really friends with) and I recently like resolved our differences. XBF and I both know that I would never cheat on my BF. I love my BF. XBF and I have no romantic interests in each other at all! Yet... XBF and I hung out once or twice, and went to the movies... And I told my BF, not out of guilt, but because we were talking about what we did in the few days we hadn't spoken to each other... And I don't know if that's contributing to his anger or whatever...
End rant.....
I just need help figuring out what my boyfriend's fear could be with my gaming habit or what he means by me not being productive.
It's post graduation for me, and my laptop is finally starting to decline... As a Mac user, it's just getting to be a bit expensive for me to maintain it, so I'm probably going to convert back to PC. As a Psych major, and former research student, I get really into researching things before I buy them... I don't know... I've spent maybe 3-4 months laptop shopping and am on the verge of quitting this search for a bit haha. I've even enlisted the help of my tech support coworkers.
Anyway, so the issue I'm having now is with my significant other, and I know I've posted in Life Issues about our relationship before, so maybe this should be a sign, but that's neither here or there... Or maybe it is here...
Back on topic: We were having a lot of issues towards the end of our last semester at the U, some of which were that he was criticizing me for what he deemed "gaming addiction". As a research student / campus activist / and head RA I had a lot on my plate work wise. I would literally get out of bed at like 8AM every morning, make us a meal, go to work, come back at 6PM, make dinner, then go out to work again, stay out till like 2-3AM, and come back. On my weekends, I would stay away from the generic campus activities (quizzo, watch a movie, randomly themed dance, etc. etc.). I'd instead kick back, after my homework, and play video games... Yes... me... Latina.... play video games. I'd play for like 1-4 hours in a sitting, pending on whether or not I was playing with friends. My partner who had half my course load, and no job would be reasonably struggling through all of his work, and study as much as I was active on campus. For his fun activities he would make me watch TV shows that I wasn't necessarily interested in, some movies from the 80's or 90's that I didn't really love but enjoyed some. Otherwise, he would want to go out to the bar with our friend group (something I loathe.... I hate bars... They're just so skeevy... and People creep on me... |shiver|). My anxiety skyrockets in bars for many reasons... So I only ever go or have ever gone if I was with those people who knew me best and knew what to do.
The on going issue: Whenever my BF would get stressed out with his work, he would get sad and jealous of others who would be able to procrastinate, not do much hw, and get by with some pretty decent grades. This isn't to say he wasn't doing well, he was a 3.8GPA student. But, he would always criticize me for playing games... He would be like "Is this what the rest of our lives will be like? Are you always going to play video games? Those are for kids... You're 21...." Then I would reply with some less than nice comment like, "i'm sorry I don't enjoy quizzo and monopoly as much as you do. We all have our hobbies let me enjoy mine."
Recently, since all I've been doing is working over the summer, he decided he would call me late at night (since he picked up 2 summer courses to finish off his degree). He would ask me what I had been up to, and I would be totally honest with him and tell him I was shopping for a newer laptop, because mine is quite frankly on its way to being obsolete... It's 8 years old, what could one expect? He asked me what my budget was, and I said I'm trying to stay under 1,500, and he's like why so much money? So, I told him... I want better hardware in my laptop so I can run some of the games that I love to play, and because I only play casually I know this sort of laptop will have longevity (like my Macbook Pro). He immediately gave me the whole "You need to stop playing video games" speech, etc. concerned that I'll be playing video games into my 30s. I literally just like... almost bursted into tears, because I barely talk to him now that we're apart. I play games as a pass-time after a 4 day, 40 hr work week, with my friends.... I call him, he never answers because he's too busy with class... I send him love letters, cute emails, snapchats... But I feel like he's putting more effort into criticizing me for playing video games with my long distance friends, rather than "being productive".... I don't even know what he means at this point.
There's this other thing.... My ex-boyfriend (whom I wasn't really friends with) and I recently like resolved our differences. XBF and I both know that I would never cheat on my BF. I love my BF. XBF and I have no romantic interests in each other at all! Yet... XBF and I hung out once or twice, and went to the movies... And I told my BF, not out of guilt, but because we were talking about what we did in the few days we hadn't spoken to each other... And I don't know if that's contributing to his anger or whatever...
End rant.....
I just need help figuring out what my boyfriend's fear could be with my gaming habit or what he means by me not being productive.
