Need help with a minor problem

[Fireweed_honey]

My friends and I play D&D once a month. I take that weekend off of work and we all camp out at one person's house. It's something I look forward to and had greatly enjoyed. However, I was just informed that, starting next game, I am asked to not join.

Frankly, I don't know why. The person who gave me the message doesn't know why. I have wracked my brain to figure out what I could have done wrong, and I'm drawing a blank. I'm friendly, I don't cuss or get angry when things don't go my way, I always either bring food or help buy dinner, and I have recently given up the bed I normally sleep in for one of the other players. Which, I did so without complaint, thank you.

So, my problem is, how to step aside. If I am not wanted, I do not believe in tormenting myself by going. But, these people were my friends, and a very happy part of my life for a while. I don't want to just fade away as if I never existed.

I am thinking of writing a letter and giving it to the person whose house we all stay at before the next game day. Just a simple note stating that I know it's been requested that I not join in, I respect their wishes and wish them all well. I want to include my character sheet so they can "kill" my character so she doesn't just pop out of the game. I happen to like closure.

My question is, would handing the letter (and/or character sheet) be seen as being a drama queen? This came out of the blue with no warning. I want to gracefully leave, but knowing I won't see many of them (as I only got to see them when we gamed) does hurt. Part of me wants them to know how much it hurts, but I do think that's a little drama queen.

What can I do to leave graciously?

[Lashuri Chan]

ζɑʂɦʊɾȉ Ҁɦɑɳ

You know there's nothing dramatic about asking the person why they don't you want there.

[Fireweed_honey]

Lashuri Chan

ζɑʂɦʊɾȉ Ҁɦɑɳ

You know there's nothing dramatic about asking the person why they don't you want there.

I did ask the messenger. All I was told was, "the group" had made the request.

[legnanellaf5]

That really awkward, especially if you werent told by the person but a proxy and you never had a confrontation. I think the best you can do is to just accept it and move on. While you did invest a lot into the game, if you only saw these people at these sessions you werent 'really' friends, same if they coudlnt talk to you one on one and had to make it a group issue.

Since the communication was through one person, go through them and say that you want to give your character sheet over so they can kill your character off. If they are unsure about it, drop the suggestion but otherwise you can keep it low key and the middle man can deal with it.

[Lashuri Chan]

Fireweed_honey

Lashuri Chan

http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/k/a/kawaiiipandamuffiiin.gif?10 ζɑʂɦʊɾȉ Ҁɦɑɳ http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/k/a/kawaiiipandamuffiiin.gif?10


You know there's nothing dramatic about asking the person why they don't you want there.

I did ask the messenger. All I was told was, "the group" had made the request.

ζɑʂɦʊɾȉ Ҁɦɑɳ

You said the person who sent the message doesn't know why so ask someone else. You must not care that much if all you are questioning is what to do with your character sheet. Clearly they aren't asking you not to come because of some story line plot.

[Fireweed_honey]

legnanellaf5

That really awkward, especially if you werent told by the person but a proxy and you never had a confrontation. I think the best you can do is to just accept it and move on. While you did invest a lot into the game, if you only saw these people at these sessions you werent 'really' friends, same if they coudlnt talk to you one on one and had to make it a group issue.

Since the communication was through one person, go through them and say that you want to give your character sheet over so they can kill your character off. If they are unsure about it, drop the suggestion but otherwise you can keep it low key and the middle man can deal with it.

Thing is, the person who told me wants me to stay. I want to stay, but I won't feel right knowing there are people there who don't want me.

[legnanellaf5]

Fireweed_honey

legnanellaf5

That really awkward, especially if you werent told by the person but a proxy and you never had a confrontation. I think the best you can do is to just accept it and move on. While you did invest a lot into the game, if you only saw these people at these sessions you werent 'really' friends, same if they coudlnt talk to you one on one and had to make it a group issue.

Since the communication was through one person, go through them and say that you want to give your character sheet over so they can kill your character off. If they are unsure about it, drop the suggestion but otherwise you can keep it low key and the middle man can deal with it.

Thing is, the person who told me wants me to stay. I want to stay, but I won't feel right knowing there are people there who don't want me.

Then why dont you hang out with that person outside of the game? You may never know why it happened but you can get a real friend out of it.

[Mina Lightseeker]

I would let them have your character sheet so your character can be killed off. It's literal the best option for you. They really haven't given you an opening to confront them. I would just drop it and move on.

[Fireweed_honey]

Okay, quick update:

So, I asked the messenger a very important question: Where did my friend (who owns the house we meet at) stand in all this? (The messenger, btw, was the spouse, so did have the authority to give me the news). I was told my friend wasn't happy with the decision.

Well, I sent my friend a text. Nothing major nor point blaming. It was just a simple, "Can't make it out this weekend, something came up". She's been ignoring me ever since, so I don't think "middle" is the right word for where she stood. Sadly, I believe I lost a friend over some matter I have no clue over.

[thatonechick101]

I think you have a right to know why you were invited to be honest. Otherwise, there's nothing wrong giving them that letter, but I kind of see it as pointless. If I were in your position, I wouldn't respond and just move on.

[thatonechick101]

Fireweed_honey

Okay, quick update:

So, I asked the messenger a very important question: Where did my friend (who owns the house we meet at) stand in all this? (The messenger, btw, was the spouse, so did have the authority to give me the news). I was told my friend wasn't happy with the decision.

Well, I sent my friend a text. Nothing major nor point blaming. It was just a simple, "Can't make it out this weekend, something came up". She's been ignoring me ever since, so I don't think "middle" is the right word for where she stood. Sadly, I believe I lost a friend over some matter I have no clue over.

She doesn't sound like that good of a friend if she didn't confront you with whatever was bothering her and made someone else tell you the news.

[Fireweed_honey]

thatonechick101

Fireweed_honey

Okay, quick update:

So, I asked the messenger a very important question: Where did my friend (who owns the house we meet at) stand in all this? (The messenger, btw, was the spouse, so did have the authority to give me the news). I was told my friend wasn't happy with the decision.

Well, I sent my friend a text. Nothing major nor point blaming. It was just a simple, "Can't make it out this weekend, something came up". She's been ignoring me ever since, so I don't think "middle" is the right word for where she stood. Sadly, I believe I lost a friend over some matter I have no clue over.

She doesn't sound like that good of a friend if she didn't confront you with whatever was bothering her and made someone else tell you the news.

I'm giving it about two weeks to settle and then I'm inviting her out to lunch. I am owed an explanation. I don't care who said what, honestly, since I have an inkling as to who was the instigator, but I do have a right to know what was said. All I've gotten back is "There is no reason" from the husband/messenger, and I call BS on that. That is just so Middle School, really. We are adults and I would have thought we moved past the whole, "OMG, I totally don't want X in the group. Like, get rid of her or else" stage in life. And if that was all it took to get me tossed out, then I have lost a friend to something so childish.

[darlene devonshire]

ugh this sounds so frustrating. i have had this happen to me too & it sucks b/c u think and think on why & theres no reason. but if you dont know, how can you fix what your doing wrong???

you had no idea they didnt like you? b/c this sounds like something big. i can be really bad knowing how ppl are thinking tho so i miss things too.

anyhow, dont give them the character sheet. they have already written you out & if they havent it is there problem. if u want closure decide u fell off a cliff or something.

i wonder if this is even you. it might someone did something and lied that it was u to cover up or something.

[StreetchIck123]

I'm gonna be honest and say that someone in that group doesn't like you for some odd reason.

I would tell the friend that if they truly believed in me staying, why is it that no one is telling me the reason why? What exactly did I do that was so wrong of me to not be part of the group anymore? I always look forward to this and always try to help in any way I can.

If she can give you a name, that'd be great.

I think it's so rude they're kicking you out and without an explanation and this "friend" who doesn't want you to leave is a shitty friend who won't stand up for you.