My parents make me more depressed and a loser....

[Nocturnal Octopus]

Everything I do is wrong. I stay at home with no friends, I get called pathetic and a loser who needs to go out and have friends....
I stay at friends houses or go to parties or just plain go out and socialise and I get yelled at for not coming/being home and am told that nobody cares about me and I have no friends.

The other day I was going to volunteer work which I have to do for my course, I was dressed and all ready and my dad saw I looked a bit glum and asked what was up and I told him honestly and passively that I'm depressed and I hate this course I'm doing, I am miserable doing it. Then out of nowhere he starts yelling at me to go waste my time juggling clubs in the park where people only watch me to laugh and make fun of how pathetic and a loser I am.....
It's something I tried once or twice that week and the first time I went I made 5 friends/aquantences who I spent the rest of the night chillin with and talking to.....

I haven't gone out since..... Now I'm more depressed then I was before.... I wasn't missing school or anything to try a new hobby and now I won't pick it up again because of that.... I'm back to sleeping all day on my days off and my parents just prefer that....

[BIJINKEI]

Sorry to hear it.
Seems like you don't know whats wrong and whats right based on the feedback you get from your parents every time you do something and you clearly don't seem like a problematic person.

It's good that you were able to make some friends that day, maybe try it again?
Honestly, don't let your parents deprive you from going out and doing something that you want to do. It's not easy, I know, but you don't live to please your parents and if they are going to complain whether you go out or not, then might as well do things your way.

[Coil Cord]

Nocturnal Octopus

Everything I do is wrong. I stay at home with no friends, I get called pathetic and a loser who needs to go out and have friends....
I stay at friends houses or go to parties or just plain go out and socialise and I get yelled at for not coming/being home and am told that nobody cares about me and I have no friends.

The other day I was going to volunteer work which I have to do for my course, I was dressed and all ready and my dad saw I looked a bit glum and asked what was up and I told him honestly and passively that I'm depressed and I hate this course I'm doing, I am miserable doing it. Then out of nowhere he starts yelling at me to go waste my time juggling clubs in the park where people only watch me to laugh and make fun of how pathetic and a loser I am.....
It's something I tried once or twice that week and the first time I went I made 5 friends/aquantences who I spent the rest of the night chillin with and talking to.....

I haven't gone out since..... Now I'm more depressed then I was before.... I wasn't missing school or anything to try a new hobby and now I won't pick it up again because of that.... I'm back to sleeping all day on my days off and my parents just prefer that....

Greetings.

I just want to first off say that I actually experienced a very similar situation you are currently going through right now.
And I do agree with the 1st responder to your situation but I'm gonna add more to that:

Dear, you can NEVER please anybody if you wanted to. Your parents look down at you because they don't feel right within themselves and are dealing with their own demons in a unhealthy manner.

Even if you were the best track star or a straight A student, people will ALWAYS find something negative about you and that's something you have to deal with unfortunately in this life.

Everybody's perspective of success is different.

Do you. Focus on what you need to accomplish. Take your mind off of what people except of you and be grateful of the positive things you have as that can bring about more prosperity in your life.

When I had depression, a person told me to look into the mirror and say "I'm beautiful". I thought it was stupid to vocalize affirmations but last year, I began to do so and I believed it and created affirmations without looking at the mirror ,of course. wink

What do you love to do?

Be well.
Love and light.

[Different...Very.]

Not sure if you're mentioning it for advice or understanding, but I hear you. May you find your way back to your True Nature and allow it to shine through onto those around to the point that it blinds you from their negativity.

[Nocturnal Octopus]

BIJINKEI

Sorry to hear it.
Seems like you don't know whats wrong and whats right based on the feedback you get from your parents every time you do something and you clearly don't seem like a problematic person.

It's good that you were able to make some friends that day, maybe try it again?
Honestly, don't let your parents deprive you from going out and doing something that you want to do. It's not easy, I know, but you don't live to please your parents and if they are going to complain whether you go out or not, then might as well do things your way.

It's just hard because how dare my own parents kick me down like that especially so unprovoked? Yes I know they have their own issues and what not but this was BEYOND cruel. I already suffer from depression and confidence issues and my own dad can kick me to the ground like this when he sees something may be making me happy.
I just don't have any will to do anything, I'm back to sleeping on my days off which is 4/7 days a week. Yet he doesn't try to motivate me to be productive and is fine with me doing that vs being outside.

[Nocturnal Octopus]

II Majesty II

Nocturnal Octopus

Everything I do is wrong. I stay at home with no friends, I get called pathetic and a loser who needs to go out and have friends....
I stay at friends houses or go to parties or just plain go out and socialise and I get yelled at for not coming/being home and am told that nobody cares about me and I have no friends.

The other day I was going to volunteer work which I have to do for my course, I was dressed and all ready and my dad saw I looked a bit glum and asked what was up and I told him honestly and passively that I'm depressed and I hate this course I'm doing, I am miserable doing it. Then out of nowhere he starts yelling at me to go waste my time juggling clubs in the park where people only watch me to laugh and make fun of how pathetic and a loser I am.....
It's something I tried once or twice that week and the first time I went I made 5 friends/aquantences who I spent the rest of the night chillin with and talking to.....

I haven't gone out since..... Now I'm more depressed then I was before.... I wasn't missing school or anything to try a new hobby and now I won't pick it up again because of that.... I'm back to sleeping all day on my days off and my parents just prefer that....

Greetings.

I just want to first off say that I actually experienced a very similar situation you are currently going through right now.
And I do agree with the 1st responder to your situation but I'm gonna add more to that:

Dear, you can NEVER please anybody if you wanted to. Your parents look down at you because they don't feel right within themselves and are dealing with their own demons in a unhealthy manner.

Even if you were the best track star or a straight A student, people will ALWAYS find something negative about you and that's something you have to deal with unfortunately in this life.

Everybody's perspective of success is different.

Do you. Focus on what you need to accomplish. Take your mind off of what people except of you and be grateful of the positive things you have as that can bring about more prosperity in your life.

When I had depression, a person told me to look into the mirror and say "I'm beautiful". I thought it was stupid to vocalize affirmations but last year, I began to do so and I believed it and created affirmations without looking at the mirror ,of course. wink

What do you love to do?

Be well.
Love and light.

I love animals but HATE doing this vet nursing course I'm doing. I'm bad at it and feel I can't do or know anything that I should by now. I've done 3/4 of the course almost so it would be a waste of money to stop now and I don't know what else to do with myself. Overall I want to be a zoo keeper I guess but it's hard to get a paying job in it and all places I could go to volunteer are far away and I can't get to them.

I don't know what to do with myself anymore and I don't know what I would be happy doing that would make me also be able to make me money to survive in life.

[Nocturnal Octopus]

Different...Very.

Not sure if you're mentioning it for advice or understanding, but I hear you. May you find your way back to your True Nature and allow it to shine through onto those around to the point that it blinds you from their negativity.

Both... I just want to be rescued from this misery constantly upon me.

[legnanellaf5]

Its a balance. You shoudlnt have no friends but you shouldnt be partying all the time. Your parents obviously do care even if they dont say it if they are noticing that you arent there. You need to stop blaming your parents for your actions though, it isnt THEIR responsiblity to get you to do things. Your dad doesnt have to motivate you. Go motivate yourself for ******** sake. Then when it seems that they are trying to motivate you, that isnt something you like either, so you cant have it both ways.

If you dont want to do that course, then what do you want to do?

[Reiko Iwamaru]

Nocturnal Octopus

Different...Very.

Not sure if you're mentioning it for advice or understanding, but I hear you. May you find your way back to your True Nature and allow it to shine through onto those around to the point that it blinds you from their negativity.

Both... I just want to be rescued from this misery constantly upon me.

What you are experiencing is some emotional abuse---and I know this because I'm put into the same position too with mom being the primary one who does the abusing sometimes. But...this is just a really toxic environment. How old are you? If you're 18 or older than that, then I suggest you move out of that house.

And if you don't like your job, you can find a new one---one that makes you pleased with what you do smile

[JellyLizzy]

What your parents are saying is cruel and could be potentially harmful later in life. It's emotional abuse. Confront them that it's really damaging and not exactly helping you trying to get a social life at all.

[Scathefyre]

I agree with what some other posters said, sounds like emotional abuse and it can do some really bad things to you if you grow up with it, they don't have to be intentional; maybe your parents were also raised like that and don't know any better but they probably won't change so the best advice I have to give you is..

Get out if you can, get away from them even if it's hard it will be worth it, and stay away from people who treat you in a similar manner to your parents.
If you can't get out, and even if you can start reading about emotional abuse and it's effects, at least then you know not to take what your parents say to heart and can better shield yourself from it.

Your parents probably care about you, but you can care about someone and still screw them up, getting some distance from them will help a lot.

[Nocturnal Octopus]

JellyLizzy

What your parents are saying is cruel and could be potentially harmful later in life. It's emotional abuse. Confront them that it's really damaging and not exactly helping you trying to get a social life at all.

Why do you think I have chronic depression, anxiety, no social skills, no self confidence or anything else. When I was little all I wanted was one single hobby like guitar or a sport and they NEVER let me do anything or even bought me a shitty 50$ guitar. I used to think guitars cost $5000 the way they went on about it and now I am damaged forever and just want to die.

Ofcoarse I've told them calmly before all of this but they just yell at me and tell me I deserve it or I brought EVERYTHING onto myself, like when I told my dad I was bullied when I was a little kid and I never felt like I could tell him, he said aggressively that I probably deserved it. HOW THE HELL CAN A 6 YEAR OLD DESERVE TO BE BULLIED?!?! Let alone all the following years that damaged me.

[Nocturnal Octopus]

Scathefyre

I agree with what some other posters said, sounds like emotional abuse and it can do some really bad things to you if you grow up with it, they don't have to be intentional; maybe your parents were also raised like that and don't know any better but they probably won't change so the best advice I have to give you is..

Get out if you can, get away from them even if it's hard it will be worth it, and stay away from people who treat you in a similar manner to your parents.
If you can't get out, and even if you can start reading about emotional abuse and it's effects, at least then you know not to take what your parents say to heart and can better shield yourself from it.

Your parents probably care about you, but you can care about someone and still screw them up, getting some distance from them will help a lot.

Yeah I have had Severe depression since I was 10 or earlier. HOW CAN ANYONE LET ALONE A 10Y/O DESERVE THIS MISERY?
There's so much they've done and haven't done which has impaired me and made me this useless waste of oxygen that I am now. I am proactive, I get emotionally abused, Im inactive and sleep for days, dont hear a SINGLE word from them.
I was just telling my mum about someone who is mean to me and how miserable I am and I was crying and she just waited until I stopped talking stood up and walked away. LIKE WTF IF MY CHILD WAS CRYING OVER SPILT MILK ID CRADDLE THEM FOR HOURS.

[Nocturnal Octopus]

Reiko Iwamaru

Nocturnal Octopus

Different...Very.

Not sure if you're mentioning it for advice or understanding, but I hear you. May you find your way back to your True Nature and allow it to shine through onto those around to the point that it blinds you from their negativity.

Both... I just want to be rescued from this misery constantly upon me.

What you are experiencing is some emotional abuse---and I know this because I'm put into the same position too with mom being the primary one who does the abusing sometimes. But...this is just a really toxic environment. How old are you? If you're 18 or older than that, then I suggest you move out of that house.

And if you don't like your job, you can find a new one---one that makes you pleased with what you do smile

I want to move out but I have no money and I can't get a job, any job, because I have no skills at all.... I've applied for welfare and I'll save that up, I have a friend who wants to move states with me, and I have my alcohol n gamblimg license so I will try and get a bartending job that ill hopefully like. But this course I am doing is SOUL SUCKING. And I cant quit now because itd be a waste of my parents money and theyd just make me feel even worse about that but it's killing me... I honestly wish I was dead. Honestly.