My high school friends and our dwindling relationships.

[Erin puppy]

Hey LI, I was just thinking, again, about my friend issues and so I decided to see if anyone could offer any opinions or insight.

I had a great group of friends in school, we were not popular, we were always all different from each other, we all went through changes but it didn't matter, some of us were closer with each other than others, but ever since we all graduated, I haven't spoken to them much and it's been less and less as time goes on.

I've been thinking about me and my SO's future and the possibility of what our wedding ceremony could be, and it's got me thinking about my old friends even more. I know they would all come to my wedding if it were accessible to them, they are nice people. But I personally feel guilty for how far apart I am from them relationship wise.

I think it's because I was never a very open-book type person to begin with and I always seemed to keep things hidden in me and I don't know why, it's just the way I was. the only person I feel comfortable letting it all out with is my SO, he's my best friend. that's okay because I prefer he be my best friend.

but I know I need other friends, cause friends are good for me. I was NEVER the initiator of anything in my group of friends, I never called anyone or asked anyone to hang out. They always invited me. It's not like I didn't want to be friends with them.. I just never initiated any kind of hanging out. (I did very rarely, and it was not comfortable for me). Maybe you can relate to that, maybe not.
I don't really remember why I was saying that. .. oh well.

I'm feeling shaky about trying to really keep in contact with them better when I never really was in the first place... but I feel like I can still hold on to them if I just try cause we have a good background.
I'm also feeling more shy than ever because they've all seemed to really branch out and they go out and they know how to party when they want to, while I feel discontent from that type of behavior cause I'm more of a home-body, I like taking my dog to the park and taking care of to-do-list, grocery shopping, domestic housewife stuff, (even though I'm not married YET), I don't keep up with any kind of 'music' , I don't drink alcohol, I don't wear make-up, I'm kind of a minimalist, I'm a bit of a nerd when it comes to some things, I'm an artist, I feed my dog a raw meat diet, which automatically makes me an obsessive dog person right? lol

Now I just feel like I'm blabbering off...

I guess I'm just wondering what I should do/expect. We have each other on facebook and I rarely get on there and never post anything, but I see their stuff and I comment sometimes and... gosh I guess I'll have to give it a try hanging out with any of them whenever I can. I'm off for like 3 weeks this summer. but I work 5 days a week otherwise, that doesn't give me much time to try and see them during their college breaks. I guess I'll just have to try and keep a facebook relationship going with them.

I guess I just feel awkward since I haven't seen them in so long.
Someone make me feel better? sad

[angel_259236102]

I am the same way, I dont really make friends, they come to me. ANd I am trying to really change that. It is hard because I am shy and I kind of just dont know how to approach thngs because it has been a while.

I guess you need to find some sort of connection with them again or really find new people who liek the same things. Maybe just invite a bunch of them to your house to just talk, and a couple of drinks for htem even if you dont drink personally should be offered.

[Erin puppy]

angel_259236102

I am the same way, I dont really make friends, they come to me. ANd I am trying to really change that. It is hard because I am shy and I kind of just dont know how to approach thngs because it has been a while.

I guess you need to find some sort of connection with them again or really find new people who liek the same things. Maybe just invite a bunch of them to your house to just talk, and a couple of drinks for htem even if you dont drink personally should be offered.

right? thanks for understanding

I want to contact them thru facebook more as a start I guess.

I would still be so close with them if they could just come over like that, but being so far away from each other makes that really hard.

but i think i have a better chance talking to them again then i do finding new ones cause when I think about trying to find someone who shares any lifestyle or interest with me i can get flat out depressed. I live in a college town currently, it's bad. my bf hates it too xD a rich-kid red-neck type college town if that is any clearer.

hmm i think one thing that makes it so awkward is that they all made some new friends with moving out and such.. and I have none. D: like I guess it just makes me feel pathetic on the inside.

[Captain Screams]

Not gonna lie, none of my high school friends and I are friends anymore. I see them every so often but I never see them anymore. :l

[Chaotic_Cupcake0_x]

Im pretty much in the same situation. I was always shy. Never drank or did drugs (still dont), and a lot of people I went to school with did. I hung out with a pretty big crowed I would say, but after high school, no one talks to me at all anymore. I just lost the last one of them for w.e. stupid reason.

So, don't feel TO badly. Almost everyone drifts away from their middle/high school friends. The one's that stay, are the one's that actually care enough. (Not to say that your high school friends don't care, cause I dont know them to say).
We all grow up and some how, some way or another, get lost in life and loss touch with certain people.
You can try to engage in a conversation and try and get a group together, see how things go. Might turn out great, or might leave you right back where you started.
You can always try and make friends with people in college. And once your married, maybe find another couple to go on double dates with. Having your SO being with you may help you relax around other people.

I hope things work out for you :]

[Erin puppy]

Captain Screams

Not gonna lie, none of my high school friends and I are friends anymore. I see them every so often but I never see them anymore. :l

I hear you, I understand that A LOT of people don't stay good friends with their high school friends after high school. Did you make any new friends though?

I don't go to college currently, and when I was going, I was commuting and so didn't join any clubs or anything. Now I actually live in a college town, but I don't go to college. I wasn't even able to become okay friends with my roommates, I mean, they are all polite and nice (except one) but I had high hopes for my roommate friendships and it just isn't sparking with the current ones.

my high school friends were a good bunch, it was a mix of personalities and so the friendship was more genuine than if we were just a crowd because of similar interest.
however our lifestyles were much less defined back then, we were only in high school, now it's a liiittle harder to just feel totally comfortable around them when I haven't seen them in so long and we've all kinda defined our lifestyles a lot more, and I feel like the one whose lifestyle has the least in common with any of theirs.

[Anasui]

ỳoύя jύsτ αs soƒτ αs α ℓíoи ταмe∂
ỳoύя jύsτ αs ωєτ αs τhє єvєиíиg яαíи
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It happens. When I graduated from high school, I had not talked to my friends for years. Now, I am actually able to talk to them. And it's crazy. A lot of them have moved all over the place. And I had to be one of the weird ones to move to a completely different country that doesn't speak English. But meh.

I know I'm heading back there and some of them really want me back so we can go and celebrate.

▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄

ỳoύя ℓovє ís ∂яívíиg мє…
ỳoύя ∂яívíиg мє íиsαиє

[Captain Screams]

Eri fox

Captain Screams

Not gonna lie, none of my high school friends and I are friends anymore. I see them every so often but I never see them anymore. :l

I hear you, I understand that A LOT of people don't stay good friends with their high school friends after high school. Did you make any new friends though?

I don't go to college currently, and when I was going, I was commuting and so didn't join any clubs or anything. Now I actually live in a college town, but I don't go to college. I wasn't even able to become okay friends with my roommates, I mean, they are all polite and nice
(except one) but I had high hopes for my roommate friendships and it just isn't sparking with the current ones.

my high school friends were a good bunch, it was a mix of personalities and so the friendship was more genuine than if we were just a crowd because of similar interest.
however our lifestyles were much less defined back then, we were only in high school, now it's a liiittle harder to just feel totally comfortable around them when I haven't seen them in so long and we've all kinda defined our lifestyles a lot more, and I feel like the one whose lifestyle has the least in common with any of theirs.

Yes and no. I make a lot of temporary friends but to be honest I just have no interest in keeping them simply because my tastes are so different from most people.