My Friend / Boyfriend Broke My Heart

[nekofox94]

Hi, I need advice on getting over a guy. This will probably be a long post.

I met this guy through a mutual friend. Let's call him Jason.
Jason and I are the complete opposites. I like anime and K-pop and he likes musicals and singing.
He started talking to me more on Facebook but I felt kinda overwhelmed. One day I hanged out with him for a few hours. After I left him for two hours, I see him and he hugs me saying I miss you.

I was confused about Jason. I started to get feelings for him, but I became shy to tell him. I've tried many attempts to get rid of my crush on him but it always kept coming back. I could not stop thinking about him When I finally came into terms of telling him, I partially chickened out. So, a friend helped me from there and we kinda started dating.

Jason and I come from different lifestyles. He's White and I'm Asian. He's more of an introvert at times while I am an extrovert. We compromised on going on one date, but he didn't give me feeling of flirting. I was holding back flirting to see if he would make a move. After those few days, we started talking more. He started calling me hun and babe and was serenading me one night. He told me he fell in love with my voice after singing. I'm not a great singer btw.

After work one day, he decides to talk to me through vidchat despite being tired. We didn't talk much because I didn't do much that day. I felt like I missed him during the time we didn't talk but I didn't want to show him I looked clingy despite his type is clingy girls. After hanging up from vidchat, a few minutes later on Facebook he tells me, let's be friends since I don't think I can date you because we don't have much in common.

I felt hurt and outraged. I poured my heart to this guy and he decides to hack it with a chain saw because we were opposites. I've went through the stages of denial, anger, sadness, acceptance. I am now at the stage where it hurts to look at him, but I've accepted the terms. I felt like we were
becoming closer but he decides out of the blue to break it off. I know that this isn't my fault.
It's more on his terms.

Can I ask you guys something? Do I deserve this guy as a friend after what he did to me?

[Coffee Before Talkie]

He prolly thought you weren't interested in him that way .
If he's a slight introvert and he likes clingy girls, he's probably waiting
for you to show you like him the same way before he makes a move .

There's no quick way to get over someone . IMO only, of course .
It always takes time . Or if you find someone else .

[nekofox94]

It does suck. I had thoughts about how we were opposites before I confessed to him but I was willing to get over them. I feel like he used the "opposites" card as an excuse. We've been friends for a few months so he should have known we are different for each other.

[Mushi]

It sucks, but he clearly doesn't feel that way about you.
Either you like him as a friend, or you go away completely from him.
Its a choice only you can make, and no one can really help you make it.
Inside you know what's right.

[Pretty pretty bacon]

That's high school for ya.

I crushed on a guy I became friends with from 2 of my classes. We flirted and talked a lot, despite being completely different (I was a stage crew kid and he was popular and everyone knew him ) . Long story short, I confessed my feelings at the end of the year, and got rejected. I neglected to realize he was a player and flirted with every girl.

[nekofox94]

Alrighty! I think I can get over him. I will be more positive and wait for the right guy to come to me. biggrin

But, my friend is still trying to talk to me after rejecting me. Maybe because I said I was fine with it at the moment he rejected me. But I was in denial at that point.

[Pnyuu]

at least he ended it early? idk

[legnanellaf5]

You need to stop being so overdramatic. You didnt really pour your heart to this guy and you arent really opposite, you just have no common interests. You can make wahtever excuses to this, but you didnt really do a lot to keep this relationship alive and no common interest isnt an issue on his end but on both of you. It isnt out of the blue too, you were trying to be together and he realized that you had nothing to talk about since you barely talked on vidchat together. He seemed to also been actually trying more than you have when you hold back and stuff while he is trying to be more forward.

He didnt really 'do' anything to you so stop making yourself to be the victim in this.

[nekofox94]

After talking to other people, I have come into terms that this was not real love. If I can't pinpoint why I had a crush on him, then it was merely yearning for a mate. After he asked me why I liked him, I asked him why he liked me. He gave me the answer that he thought I was always cute. This really wasn't much of an answer. I had doubts, so I'm going to try to forget having feelings for him. If it was meant to be, we would not have awkward silences. So I will try to focus on myself rather than other people.

[nekofox94]

Actually, the real answer of why he "broke up" with me was simple. It was in my face all along and I did not see it. Jason was always with his best friend. They were never separated, like Bert and Ernie. I was friends with Jason's best friend before I met Jason. But things started to get sour as I started crushing on Jason. Jason's bff was very moody and the only person who he could see is Jason. By clear hints I've observed of behavior from Jason's Instagram and his bff, they were more than friends. Last night, after talking to a friend, I decided to chop up all my ties with him and every memory.

[Tsubahi]

Well, at least he was honest, though he was a bit forward in the beginning. confused

[I Dont Deliver]

You acted unlike yourself to get him to act in a way that was unlike him.

I cant say I blame him for how he felt.

I say be friends a little longer and maybe try again, or explain that you were trying to get him to be flirty so he understands and doesn't just feel like you were uninterested.

[McPhee]

nekofox94

Actually, the real answer of why he "broke up" with me was simple. It was in my face all along and I did not see it. Jason was always with his best friend. They were never separated, like Bert and Ernie. I was friends with Jason's best friend before I met Jason. But things started to get sour as I started crushing on Jason. Jason's bff was very moody and the only person who he could see is Jason. By clear hints I've observed of behavior from Jason's Instagram and his bff, they were more than friends. Last night, after talking to a friend, I decided to chop up all my ties with him and every memory.

Good for you, honey. Obviously this guy was hiding things, and from what you're saying, you're better off without him in your life.

Be confident in yourself, and the right man will come along. Optimism, it really does work. heart

[thatonechick101]

You may have felt you poured your heart into this guy, but it sounds like you were more reserved in expressing your feelings than he was. It's understandable for him to feel like you weren't that interested and since you didn't have that much in common, it wasn't going to work out.

If you can be friends without it hurting you or causing negative feelings in general, I would say go for it since there wasn't much that occured between you guys. Otherwise, just learn from the experience and move on.