My C o u s i n D i e d. . . How do I deal with death?

[Granting Freedom]

You can't really blame yourself. I mean I know it's instinct when things like that happen. I use to be the same way about my baby. But accidents happen and we can't always prevent them. So like the first person said you need to just take things one day at a time. And if you want to you can always try coming to my guild for a little support. That doors always open.

[Rei Itsuharu]

Honestly, at least you said goodbye and on good terms.

2 people really close to me just died, and one I didnt get to say goodbye to, and the other, I didnt get to tell him I loved him.

I know it sucks when people are ripped away from you.

I can tell you its not your fault.
You told him you loved him, he was loved, he loved you.

Keep him alive in your memory, go to his funeral, tell him you love him again.

And after that, keep on remembering him, but someday move on, and live to love the others around you.

[majesty_del_mystico]

OH sweetie, it's not your fault, you couldn't have known, you didn't wish for it, you were as kind as you could be by telling him you loved him, things just happen. He knew that you loved him and you know that he loved you. You are not to blame for what happened, you understand?? If there is a higher power (not going into religious debates) and I believe there is, your cousin would be there and waiting on you, don't hurt your cousin when he looks in on you from above. You can be sad about his passing but don't blame yourself and don't be depressed, that's not what he'd want if he knew what you're doing, he'd want you to be happy, you may not be able to be right now but remember him because he lives on in so many people because every person affects people they didn't even meet. Just remember, you're blessed for having him around no matter the length of time you had him be happy you knew him.

[Strawberry_Harley]

My best friend died last June. Trust me when I tell you that there was nothing you could have done. I blamed myself, too. I told myself that if I had just called our friend, Johnny, like I was supposed to, the three of us would have been kickin' it, and he wouldn't have been walking on the tracks when that train came.

(He was pretty stoned, and suicidal. He kind of went off the deep end and stormed out of a friend's house, and was walking toward my neighborhood to hang out with his friend, Cody, when the train came up behind him. He had time to move, but he didn't.)

I mean, even if he had walked out of my house, he wouldn't have had to take the tracks to get to Cody's. But there was nothing I could have done at all. Even if I HAD called Johnny like I was supposed to, there no gaurantee that my friend would have even come to hang out. It was all on him.

In your case, it wasn't all on your cousin, but you couldn't have made him stay on the computer. You can't FORCE anyone to do anything. He was going to leave whether you wanted him to or not, and trying to get him to stay online probably would have just made him mad.

[sintheeah]

life has its ways :/
but its not your fault. defineatly not.
just remind yourself that he'll be in a better place.
be thankful for having him and learn from him.
most importantly: never forget him, specially when he was at his best & happy :]

I'm sorry, though.
must be tough.

[-Alyss-from-Wonderland-]

there is nothing you could have done. i know that there is nothing anyone can say to make you feel that it isnt your fault. i will tell you this though, the number one reaction for some to have after a loved ones death is guilt. the mind bends the facts of reality to alter the situation in anyway possible. there is no way to get over death. i know its cliche but time is the only thing that can heal the hurt.

[Vicious Hyperbolizer]

I have two responses. I'll give you the nice one here, you can PM me for the mean one if you want.

When my dad died, I got really angry that everyone's response was "think on good memories" and "he's with you in your heart" and "you'll move on in time". I didn't want to move on and thinking about him hurt. Everyone mourns at their own pace. There's no logical progression, no doing one thing first and this thing next. Asking whether it's right or wrong to believe it's your fault? that's a step. You'll be a long, long way from actually knowing that it wasn't your fault, though.
Take your time, don't try to push on with life because people tell you to.

[Briar Flame12]

I'm sorry about you cousin.

[inverse-actuality]

everyone dies, you will die, thank god i will, and everyone who posted will, if anything you not holding him up did him a favor if you are christian, you either would have sent him to heaven or made him get what he deserves in hell, anyway who cares, its not that big of a deal, my grandfather and uncle and best friends uncle and moms cousin and das uncle and how many people im related to recently died, but i can care less, im not christian but i know that everyones day will come, i cant wait for mine

[Prashatzz]

Don't blame yourself because you can't see the future. You didn't know what was going to happen next. But the only thing I can say is that you have to move on and continue your life because you can't be sad and blame yourself for the rest of your life. You might ruin it and you shouldn't.