My boyfriend (topic pretty much solved)

[froggymama89]

Jay Riot

froggymama89

He has a porn addiction. xxxchurch is a ministry to help with just this. they are a Christian organization but they will help anyone and if you make it clear you don't want it they won't push God on you

lol that's retarded. And no, I seriously doubt he's gonna cheat on you. There's nothing wrong with porn, even when you're in a relationship. It's just tits and a** he's looking at, if it were pics of real girls he knows and talks to, that's dif. But otherwise, it's no big deal. Like I said, if he does this s**t with real girls, break up. If it's porn and only porn, you shouldn't care.

Its different for everyone. I would be very upset if I found my husband looking at porn. I work very hard to make it easier on him to have eyes for only me. and I don't care if it's porn or some chick on MSN its a woman other than me and he shouldn't be looking at her tits. Whats retarded the idea of porn addiction? Some people have it. Just like gambling addictions.

[Celadonia]

On the Death Spiral

Break up. rolleyes

This.

OP...your boyfriend is coming across as a manipulative, lying, hypocritical a*****e.
Just break it off with him and find someone better.
If it were just porn...that's one thing, but other girls' photos?
Hell no.

Not only have you expressed to him that you don't like it, but he said he wouldn't do it again, and has gone ahead anyway.
He clearly doesn't care as much about you as you may have hoped.

[Reptarrz]

Isurugi Noe

Well I will just start from the beginning. I met my boyfriend online and AFTER we started going together in real life, I found tons of porn and naked pictures of girls he talked to online on his computer. This was about a year and a half ago. He caught me looking at it and saw my disappointment and immediately deleted everything. He said he'd never do any of that again etc. I believed him and I ended up moving in with him.

Along the course of this time I had kept finding porn on his computer since I use his computer too. Every single time he would give me the same song and dance about not doing it again. At one point I figured well I'll just make him some pictures of me and he won't feel the need to do it again. It worked for about a week then he was looking at porn again and hadn't even looked at my pictures for a week. Sometimes after we had sex, I would find out afterward that he had looked at porn before we did it (not all the time but sometimes).

Then for a few months I hadn't found anything (I assume he was just hiding it better). Today I found out that he was looking at porn again AND he had asked a girl for naked pictures on msn.

I really don't understand. I'm not holding out on him, we have sex regularly. Everytime I ask him why he says he's just curious. When I asked him today he said word for word "I just wanted to look at something different." ...what is that even supposed to mean?

He's jealous and possessive and I know if I were doing this to him, he would be upset. so why is it ok that he's doing it to me? it's like he doesn't realize he's destroying my self esteem.

I've told him how I feel about it and every time he kisses at my feet how sorry he is and won't do again.

what should I do about this?

The guy sounds like an a**. I'd dump him after enough times of getting lied to.

[Professional Sinner]

[******** pissed off...
Since 3.9.08...

-650/1000K-
Dump him honestly...
If you gave him pictures and he's not interested by them enough to keep looking at porn and ASKING girls for nude pictures then he's obviously not worth it..If he loved you then he would be happy you even took that damm pix for him :/
but obvously he doesnt appreciate the uniqueness of you body or anything a GOOD boyfriend does so leave him because i think you seriously could do better after all the s**t he's put you through neutral
-DONATE FOOL-

I'll always be yours
As said...9.4.09...

listening to:Excuse Me by Lady Dana

[Jay Riot]

froggymama89

Jay Riot

froggymama89

He has a porn addiction. xxxchurch is a ministry to help with just this. they are a Christian organization but they will help anyone and if you make it clear you don't want it they won't push God on you

lol that's retarded. And no, I seriously doubt he's gonna cheat on you. There's nothing wrong with porn, even when you're in a relationship. It's just tits and a** he's looking at, if it were pics of real girls he knows and talks to, that's dif. But otherwise, it's no big deal. Like I said, if he does this s**t with real girls, break up. If it's porn and only porn, you shouldn't care.

Its different for everyone. I would be very upset if I found my husband looking at porn. I work very hard to make it easier on him to have eyes for only me. and I don't care if it's porn or some chick on MSN its a woman other than me and he shouldn't be looking at her tits. Whats retarded the idea of porn addiction? Some people have it. Just like gambling addictions.

Than you're more uptight about relationships, nothing wrong with that.

What's wrong with it is it's fake. If someone can't control an impulse than it's an issue of willpower and self-control. It has nothing to do with the actual activity. i.e. gambling or porn. If the temptation is too great for you, than that's your weakness, it's not the activity's fault. Btw, when I say 'you' or 'your', I'm referring to the individual, not you specifically.

[Weesha The Unicorn]

Porn is fine, he is a guy.
but asking for n***s isn't

[froggymama89]

Jay Riot

froggymama89

Jay Riot

froggymama89

He has a porn addiction. xxxchurch is a ministry to help with just this. they are a Christian organization but they will help anyone and if you make it clear you don't want it they won't push God on you

lol that's retarded. And no, I seriously doubt he's gonna cheat on you. There's nothing wrong with porn, even when you're in a relationship. It's just tits and a** he's looking at, if it were pics of real girls he knows and talks to, that's dif. But otherwise, it's no big deal. Like I said, if he does this s**t with real girls, break up. If it's porn and only porn, you shouldn't care.

Its different for everyone. I would be very upset if I found my husband looking at porn. I work very hard to make it easier on him to have eyes for only me. and I don't care if it's porn or some chick on MSN its a woman other than me and he shouldn't be looking at her tits. Whats retarded the idea of porn addiction? Some people have it. Just like gambling addictions.

Than you're more uptight about relationships, nothing wrong with that.

What's wrong with it is it's fake. If someone can't control an impulse than it's an issue of willpower and self-control. It has nothing to do with the actual activity. i.e. gambling or porn. If the temptation is too great for you, than that's your weakness, it's not the activity's fault. Btw, when I say 'you' or 'your', I'm referring to the individual, not you specifically.

how is it fake its a real woman and my husband agrees so its not a problem but there are gambling and porn addictions. Thats when gambling or looking at porn takes over your life and gets in the way of say relationships. He sounds like he wants to quit and can't thats an addiction. There are those that can help I was mearly giving the OP another option.

[Isurugi Noe]

froggymama89

Its different for everyone. I would be very upset if I found my husband looking at porn. I work very hard to make it easier on him to have eyes for only me. and I don't care if it's porn or some chick on MSN its a woman other than me and he shouldn't be looking at her tits. Whats retarded the idea of porn addiction? Some people have it. Just like gambling addictions.

I totally agree with you. I wish he'd only have eyes for me sad

[A Redhead Angel]

Isurugi Noe

Generally from all the replies I've got, this is obviously unacceptable. D:

yes I am the type that doesn't like him looking at porn. Maybe it wouldn't bother me as much if he wasn't specifically looking at one race that I'm not. and he prefers amateur porn cause they're more "real".

the last time he asked a girl for naked pictures was before we got together. so I'm not sure if I let it slide because it hasn't happened in so long and only once or not?

it seems like I'm an idiot for even still being with him though sweatdrop

This would probably bother me to an existent as well. I can see how it would make you feel inadequate or that he isn't attracted to you because you arn't ______.

HOWEVER, I look at porn and I tend to go for the less Hollywood type of porn, not really amateur, but I don't dig the over produced, vomit inducing, tacky dialogue found in big budget porn. AND I look at white women...not black men, which is what my boyfriend happens to be. This doesn't mean I am not attracted to him. In fact, I think he would be more upset if I were looking at other black men online...he would see that as him not being adequate for me. It could be that your boyfriend wants to look at something different. Perhaps you are a great blond, Irish girl so he doesn't have to look at them...he just goes online to look at raven haired asian women. (just a hypo- I have no idea what you look like) Exotic is Erotic- What we don't see everyday is exciting. If you were asian he might be looking at irish girls...

If you don't like him looking at porn you should explain it in a reasonable way and he should make the choice whether you are more important than the porn. If he truly thinks you are being unreasonable and that he will not put up with it...he should leave. The same with you...if you think the porn is a big enough deal to leave him over it, then you should.

However, none of this excuses asking for real live girls for pictures...or even cybering with them.

[Jay Riot]

froggymama89

Jay Riot

froggymama89

Jay Riot

froggymama89

He has a porn addiction. xxxchurch is a ministry to help with just this. they are a Christian organization but they will help anyone and if you make it clear you don't want it they won't push God on you

lol that's retarded. And no, I seriously doubt he's gonna cheat on you. There's nothing wrong with porn, even when you're in a relationship. It's just tits and a** he's looking at, if it were pics of real girls he knows and talks to, that's dif. But otherwise, it's no big deal. Like I said, if he does this s**t with real girls, break up. If it's porn and only porn, you shouldn't care.

Its different for everyone. I would be very upset if I found my husband looking at porn. I work very hard to make it easier on him to have eyes for only me. and I don't care if it's porn or some chick on MSN its a woman other than me and he shouldn't be looking at her tits. Whats retarded the idea of porn addiction? Some people have it. Just like gambling addictions.

Than you're more uptight about relationships, nothing wrong with that.

What's wrong with it is it's fake. If someone can't control an impulse than it's an issue of willpower and self-control. It has nothing to do with the actual activity. i.e. gambling or porn. If the temptation is too great for you, than that's your weakness, it's not the activity's fault. Btw, when I say 'you' or 'your', I'm referring to the individual, not you specifically.

how is it fake its a real woman and my husband agrees so its not a problem but there are gambling and porn addictions. Thats when gambling or looking at porn takes over your life and gets in the way of say relationships. He sounds like he wants to quit and can't thats an addiction. There are those that can help I was mearly giving the OP another option.

Because it's porn, if someone can't stop watching porn than they're pathetic to be honest. But on a serious note, they need help with willpower and self control, it has nothing to do with the actual porn. Porn isn't like cocaine, it doesn't force you to do s**t. You allow yourself to give in. The temptation is harder for some than others, for some, it's too hard and they need help, but it's important to clarify what the real issue is, and it ain't the porn.

Quote:

I totally agree with you. I wish he'd only have eyes for me

Word to the wise, no guy will ever 'only have eyes for you'. I love my gf to friggen death, but other girls will, can, and are sometimes attractive to me. There's absolutely nothing wrong with thoughts, I can look at a girl and get distracted thinking "woah, she's really beautiful", but I'd never ever take action. That's the difference.

[Isurugi Noe]

A Redhead Angel

This would probably bother me to an existent as well. I can see how it would make you feel inadequate or that he isn't attracted to you because you arn't ______.

HOWEVER, I look at porn and I tend to go for the less Hollywood type of porn, not really amateur, but I don't dig the over produced, vomit inducing, tacky dialogue found in big budget porn. AND I look at white women...not black men, which is what my boyfriend happens to be. This doesn't mean I am not attracted to him. In fact, I think he would be more upset if I were looking at other black men online...he would see that as him not being adequate for me. It could be that your boyfriend wants to look at something different. Perhaps you are a great blond, Irish girl so he doesn't have to look at them...he just goes online to look at raven haired asian women. (just a hypo- I have no idea what you look like) Exotic is Erotic- What we don't see everyday is exciting. If you were asian he might be looking at irish girls...


However, none of this excused asking for real live girls for pictures...or even cybering with them.

That's just the thing. I'm not an everyday kind of girl. I'm mixed and could probably be considered exotic, I think he's even said I was before too. even their body types aren't even similar to mine. the amateur porn he looks at, these people look like the kind of people you pass by in the streets. it really bothers me because they're so REAL.

[Isurugi Noe]

Jay Riot

Quote:

I totally agree with you. I wish he'd only have eyes for me

Word to the wise, no guy will ever 'only have eyes for you'. I love my gf to friggen death, but other girls will, can, and are sometimes attractive to me. There's absolutely nothing wrong with thoughts, I can look at a girl and get distracted thinking "woah, she's really beautiful", but I'd never ever take action. That's the difference.

have you ever fantasized about these other women while being intimate with your gf?

[Devils_Advocate_110]

In most cases, if it were just porn I wouldnt feel so bad about it, myself. No mans ever going to just have eyes for one person. I dont know how I could deal with breaking up with my current girlfriend right now, but there are girls Ive seen that have made a few guest appearances in my dreams at night.

But the asking for pictures? Not so good. And this is saying nothing of the lying and hypocrisy.

Honest to god truth, Im gonna go with:

Dump him.

[froggymama89]

Isurugi Noe

froggymama89

Its different for everyone. I would be very upset if I found my husband looking at porn. I work very hard to make it easier on him to have eyes for only me. and I don't care if it's porn or some chick on MSN its a woman other than me and he shouldn't be looking at her tits. Whats retarded the idea of porn addiction? Some people have it. Just like gambling addictions.

I totally agree with you. I wish he'd only have eyes for me sad

I truly think he has a porn addiction or at least trouble quitting. I really think you should check out the link and ask if he would be willing to let them help him quit in order to save the relationship. If he doesn't really want to quit then leave and let him have his naked pictures and cold bed. If he does then support him while he's recovering. Porn is like alcohol some people can handle a little and stop others have to avoid it altogether.

I will second that he will still notice pretty girls thats how guys are hardwired but there's a difference between seeing a woman at walmart in a tight shirt and having a flash of a thought and intentionally looking at naked women...Also IMO porn is worse because he's spending money to look at something else. PM if you like.

[Jay Riot]

Isurugi Noe

Jay Riot

Quote:

I totally agree with you. I wish he'd only have eyes for me

Word to the wise, no guy will ever 'only have eyes for you'. I love my gf to friggen death, but other girls will, can, and are sometimes attractive to me. There's absolutely nothing wrong with thoughts, I can look at a girl and get distracted thinking "woah, she's really beautiful", but I'd never ever take action. That's the difference.

have you ever fantasized about these other women while being intimate with your gf?

No, but I find my gf extremely attractive. Probably one of the most attractive girls I've ever seen, so that helps :].

To get back on topic and reiterate my original post to the OP... Just dump his a**. He has shown he's a liar, and you're evidently not his first priority. It'd be dif if it were just porn, and you didn't care. But it's not, and you do, and he's a lying a*****e (imo), no offense. And just to make it clear, it'd bother me a great deal if my significant other needed porn for excitement. Not everyone's like me however,