My boyfriend (topic pretty much solved)

[Isurugi Noe]

Well I will just start from the beginning. I met my boyfriend online and AFTER we started going together in real life, I found tons of porn and naked pictures of girls he talked to online on his computer. This was about a year and a half ago. He caught me looking at it and saw my disappointment and immediately deleted everything. He said he'd never do any of that again etc. I believed him and I ended up moving in with him.

Along the course of this time I had kept finding porn on his computer since I use his computer too. Every single time he would give me the same song and dance about not doing it again. At one point I figured well I'll just make him some pictures of me and he won't feel the need to do it again. It worked for about a week then he was looking at porn again and hadn't even looked at my pictures for a week. Sometimes after we had sex, I would find out afterward that he had looked at porn before we did it (not all the time but sometimes).

Then for a few months I hadn't found anything (I assume he was just hiding it better). Today I found out that he was looking at porn again AND he had asked a girl for naked pictures on msn.

I really don't understand. I'm not holding out on him, we have sex regularly. Everytime I ask him why he says he's just curious. When I asked him today he said word for word "I just wanted to look at something different." ...what is that even supposed to mean?

He's jealous and possessive and I know if I were doing this to him, he would be upset. so why is it ok that he's doing it to me? it's like he doesn't realize he's destroying my self esteem.

I've told him how I feel about it and every time he kisses at my feet how sorry he is and won't do again.

what should I do about this?

[A Redhead Angel]

Asking for naked pictures from REAL women the REAL way he met you is not acceptable...Porn I have no problem with, but I can see how some people do.

[Gentlesquid]

Sit down and explain how much it bothers you?

This is sort of a slippery slope, especially if the situation was reversed, as you say. He's quite the hypocrite then.

The pictures from girls online is a serious issue. But are you jealous of the generic porn too(not from girls online)?

[Theawesomemanman]

Isurugi Noe

Well I will just start from the beginning. I met my boyfriend online and AFTER we started going together in real life, I found tons of porn and naked pictures of girls he talked to online on his computer. This was about a year and a half ago. He caught me looking at it and saw my disappointment and immediately deleted everything. He said he'd never do any of that again etc. I believed him and I ended up moving in with him.

Along the course of this time I had kept finding porn on his computer since I use his computer too. Every single time he would give me the same song and dance about not doing it again. At one point I figured well I'll just make him some pictures of me and he won't feel the need to do it again. It worked for about a week then he was looking at porn again and hadn't even looked at my pictures for a week. Sometimes after we had sex, I would find out afterward that he had looked at porn before we did it (not all the time but sometimes).

Then for a few months I hadn't found anything (I assume he was just hiding it better). Today I found out that he was looking at porn again AND he had asked a girl for naked pictures on msn.

I really don't understand. I'm not holding out on him, we have sex regularly. Everytime I ask him why he says he's just curious. When I asked him today he said word for word "I just wanted to look at something different." ...what is that even supposed to mean?

He's jealous and possessive and I know if I were doing this to him, he would be upset. so why is it ok that he's doing it to me? it's like he doesn't realize he's destroying my self esteem.

I've told him how I feel about it and every time he kisses at my feet how sorry he is and won't do again.

what should I do about this?

Haha wow your boyfriend is a big hypocrit. It isn't okay that he's doing it to you. If he's allowed to why aren't you allowed to? It's completely unfair. Honestly I also think he shouldn't be asking girls for naked pics. I don't know if I think it's bad that he looks at porn, but actually going and asking girls for photo's crosses the line in my opinion. Also the fact that you gave him pictures and he doesn't even use them. What a big slap in the face to you! I remember whenever my past girlfriends gave me naked pics of them I never even used the internet anymore. I just used my phone lol

[Gabbie808]

A Redhead Angel

Asking for naked pictures from REAL women the REAL way he met you is not acceptable...Porn I have no problem with, but I can see how some people do.

I agree with this. I don't know many folks who just up and ask from nudie pics from some random person. Makes ya kinda wonder what type of interactions he's having with chicks online. The porn thing is fine, but online can be a problem cuz that s**t can possibly evolve into a RL sexual encounter. I'm not saying that it will, but the possibility is there.

[Magical Kitty-tan]

I am not going to go into whether its wrong for him to look at porn or not, since I don't think this is what this is about. This is about what you are comfortable with and want out of your relationship. If you aren't happy with his porn habit then maybe you need to think about ending the relationship? Stop believing him when he says it won't happen again, because obviously it will. He isn't changing.. so you either accept it or move on. sad

[EmotionallyInconsistent]

My sister's ex-boyfiend had fecal porn (grannies and Asian women), salty pictures of his ex and consistently did again and again on my computer. She separated from him. He was a jackass.

[Santa pr0n]

Honnestly, he's going to keep doing this and it's just a matter of time before he cheats on you.
I'd say just pack up your s**t and leave.
Like asking girls to send him naked pictures is just disgusting, and he's obviously retarded if he can't even hide it.
If it was just porn and pictures of random girls he's never talked to, then whatever, most guys are pigs like that and it's not something that's going to stop, but if he actually knows these people, that's just being cruel.
He sounds like he has a lot of maturing to do , and 'till then let him do it by himself with his online girls because you're the one getting hurt, not him.

And if you do decide to leave, don't let him talk you into staying by saying he wont do it again because he will.

EDIT:
He's also jealous and possesive?
Please, please leave while you can, I was in a very similar situation and after a while he just wouldn't let me leave him, just gather the courage and leave, it's an abusive relationship and no one deserves that, you'll see, after he's gone you'll build up your confidence again.

[Isurugi Noe]

Generally from all the replies I've got, this is obviously unacceptable. D:

yes I am the type that doesn't like him looking at porn. Maybe it wouldn't bother me as much if he wasn't specifically looking at one race that I'm not. and he prefers amateur porn cause they're more "real".

the last time he asked a girl for naked pictures was before we got together. so I'm not sure if I let it slide because it hasn't happened in so long and only once or not?

it seems like I'm an idiot for even still being with him though sweatdrop

[Gentlesquid]

Ultimately if it's making you uncomfortable, you need to take action.

Either you and him come to an agreement that works, AND STICK TO IT.

Or the alternative.

[froggymama89]

He has a porn addiction. xxxchurch is a ministry to help with just this. they are a Christian organization but they will help anyone and if you make it clear you don't want it they won't push God on you

[Jay Riot]

froggymama89

He has a porn addiction. xxxchurch is a ministry to help with just this. they are a Christian organization but they will help anyone and if you make it clear you don't want it they won't push God on you

lol that's retarded. And no, I seriously doubt he's gonna cheat on you. There's nothing wrong with porn, even when you're in a relationship. It's just tits and a** he's looking at, if it were pics of real girls he knows and talks to, that's dif. But otherwise, it's no big deal. Like I said, if he does this s**t with real girls, break up. If it's porn and only porn, you shouldn't care.

[Santa pr0n]

Jay Riot

froggymama89

He has a porn addiction. xxxchurch is a ministry to help with just this. they are a Christian organization but they will help anyone and if you make it clear you don't want it they won't push God on you

lol that's retarded. And no, I seriously doubt he's gonna cheat on you. There's nothing wrong with porn, even when you're in a relationship. It's just tits and a** he's looking at, if it were pics of real girls he knows and talks to, that's dif. But otherwise, it's no big deal. Like I said, if he does this s**t with real girls, break up. If it's porn and only porn, you shouldn't care.

Did you read what she wrote?
hes asking girls for their naked pictures.

[Jay Riot]

Santa pr0n

Jay Riot

froggymama89

He has a porn addiction. xxxchurch is a ministry to help with just this. they are a Christian organization but they will help anyone and if you make it clear you don't want it they won't push God on you

lol that's retarded. And no, I seriously doubt he's gonna cheat on you. There's nothing wrong with porn, even when you're in a relationship. It's just tits and a** he's looking at, if it were pics of real girls he knows and talks to, that's dif. But otherwise, it's no big deal. Like I said, if he does this s**t with real girls, break up. If it's porn and only porn, you shouldn't care.

Did you read what she wrote?
hes asking girls for their naked pictures.

I did, and just as I said, it's ******** up and if she takes issue with it (which she says she does), I clearly said to breakup with him. If it's just porn he's checking out, well that's nowhere near as bad.