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xMiss FaMoUS's avatar

Quotable Friend

Oh geez. where do I start.
well obviously in the beginning of our relationship
things were great! we spent time together, we had a healthy
sex life and we were happy.


now, 6 months later.
we moved in together at this point.
99% of the time I have to beg him to get
off of the xbox to spend 10minutes with me before bed.
He works 530 to like..midnight all week.
the second he walks in the door hes glued to
the xbox which I wouldn't mind most of the time because
I'm a gamer too but when he glued on it all night,doesnt go
to bed til 5am then sleeps til 4pm. then has to rush to get to work.
It leaves NO time for us to spend even 10minutes together..

also we don't have nearly as much sex as we used too.
now Its like.. he doesnt want sex he justs wants bj's.
which I don't mind but when I want any type of pleasure
I have to beg him for a hour before he'll do anything which
rarely happens anyway.

lately when hes been asking for bj's I'll say " no but we can have sex"
and he'd rather jerk off then have sex with me...

you have no idea how bad that makes a person feel.

Off that subject for a minute.

I've been trying everything to make this relationship work.
I mean we are ALWAYS fighting now. I try to talk things out
but he either doesn't listen cause hes on xbox or he'll just sit there
and makes jokes bout everything.

I tried planning a romantic evening for the both of us and it just completely
blow up in my face. other then that I don't know what else to do... I tried buying the sexy clothes...the sex games/toys. I've even simply tried talking to him about it and it doesn't help..


I mean.. I honestly don't care that much about sex. Its just... I want to feel like he still wants me. like he still cares about me. Just seems like he could careless if we were together or not.. I love this man more then life itself. I just dont know what to do anymore.


any suggestions?
am I just over reacting?...
how would you feel in this situation?

Oh btw... just for info.. I'm 20 and he's 23.

Lashuri Chan's avatar

Generous Giver

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Honestly it takes two to tango and the relationship is not going to work if he doesn't want to even put effort into talking about it. Sorry to say but breaking up would probably be the best unless you wanna try talking to him again. Buy things isn't gonna fix anything. You either talk or break up, that's the way I see it.
xMiss FaMoUS's avatar

Quotable Friend

little aishi chan
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Honestly it takes two to tango and the relationship is not going to work if he doesn't want to even put effort into talking about it. Sorry to say but breaking up would probably be the best unless you wanna try talking to him again. Buy things isn't gonna fix anything. You either talk or break up, that's the way I see it.

I just thought buying those things would help uh...spice up our sex life
so that he'd want it more or something idk.
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xMiss FaMoUS
little aishi chan
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Honestly it takes two to tango and the relationship is not going to work if he doesn't want to even put effort into talking about it. Sorry to say but breaking up would probably be the best unless you wanna try talking to him again. Buy things isn't gonna fix anything. You either talk or break up, that's the way I see it.

I just thought buying those things would help uh...spice up our sex life
so that he'd want it more or something idk.




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If he rather jack off than do the real thing, clothes isn't gonna really do much either.
Me and Mrs Bones's avatar

Greedy Receiver

If he won't listen to you, perhaps write him a letter?
xMiss FaMoUS's avatar

Quotable Friend

Me and Mrs Bones
If he won't listen to you, perhaps write him a letter?

I've tried doing that also. Ive honestly tried everything I could think of. sad idk
Me and Mrs Bones's avatar

Greedy Receiver

xMiss FaMoUS
Me and Mrs Bones
If he won't listen to you, perhaps write him a letter?

I've tried doing that also. Ive honestly tried everything I could think of. sad idk

He sounds like a selfish guy. He wants sexual acts from you but avoids pleasuring you? Relationships are a two way thing, you must at least be willing to meet halfway. If you've tried at a constant to get this through to him than maybe its time to talk it out as in, 'these are serious issues - if they aren't changed they will drive me to leave you' maybe that will grab his attention and stop him joking about like a ********. If not, then.. I'm sorry to say but he's simply a self centred person. You have to be the one to decide whether you're willing to put up with this or not
Neko Namida Ame's avatar

Shirtless Raider

xMiss FaMoUS
Me and Mrs Bones
If he won't listen to you, perhaps write him a letter?

I've tried doing that also. Ive honestly tried everything I could think of. sad idk

It's over then. He's not going to work with you on it so there is nothing you can do. Cut your losses and plan on moving out ASAP.
I know this sounds bitchy but write him a letter and walk out the door with packed bags, if he doesn't want you while you are walking out the door than he doesn't want you at all, keep walking and find a man that loves you more than he loves mrs.palmer or his Xbox.
He's obviously not interested in you or the relationship anymore. Get out now before things get even more ******** up. Life isn't worth chasing after someone who doesn't reciprocate the same feelings. Get out now before you waste even more time with him.

You did what you could, now it's time to jump ship.
weeneez's avatar

Dapper Millionaire

Who is paying for the rent? You or him?
I'm assuming he is. Pack your bags and walk out the door when he's home, and if he doesn't bother to stop you or even attempt to work things out even then, it shows how dead the relationship is. If he stops you, then say "If you want me to stop wanting to walk out of your live, then we need to fix things and you need to take it seriously. First off, we need to ______." If he still won't fix it again later, walk out and don't give him a second chance to stop you.
fubenkunai's avatar

Dangerous Conversationalist

little aishi chan
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Honestly it takes two to tango and the relationship is not going to work if he doesn't want to even put effort into talking about it. Sorry to say but breaking up would probably be the best unless you wanna try talking to him again. Buy things isn't gonna fix anything. You either talk or break up, that's the way I see it.

This is it. It may be that he is suffering from depression, or that you need to make some changes to your household routine to make your home life more awesome and conducive to sexy times. Or he may be suffering from some performance issues/anxiety, and too embarrassed to bring it up. But if he's not willing to talk, you can't try to implement changes, and you'll be stuck in this situation. That sucks, but if he is not willing to act his age and use his words, there's only so much you can do solo. If that's what you end up with, I encourage you to break it off and take some time to heal. I know how bad this kind of thing can make people feel, and it's important not to stay in a relationship that saps your energy and your self-esteem. It's okay and healthy to walk away from this, because I assure you there's nothing wrong with you and you are a desirable person-- sexually and romantically. Life's too short to waste with people who don't appreciate you and lift you up. If he doesn't try to pull his weight here, walk out.
pallbearer's avatar

Deadly Cultist

He sounds like a jerk....dump him and find someone who appreciates you.
xMiss FaMoUS
Oh geez. where do I start.
well obviously in the beginning of our relationship
things were great! we spent time together, we had a healthy
sex life and we were happy.


now, 6 months later.
we moved in together at this point.
99% of the time I have to beg him to get
off of the xbox to spend 10minutes with me before bed.
He works 530 to like..midnight all week.
the second he walks in the door hes glued to
the xbox which I wouldn't mind most of the time because
I'm a gamer too but when he glued on it all night,doesnt go
to bed til 5am then sleeps til 4pm. then has to rush to get to work.
It leaves NO time for us to spend even 10minutes together..

also we don't have nearly as much sex as we used too.
now Its like.. he doesnt want sex he justs wants bj's.
which I don't mind but when I want any type of pleasure
I have to beg him for a hour before he'll do anything which
rarely happens anyway.

lately when hes been asking for bj's I'll say " no but we can have sex"
and he'd rather jerk off then have sex with me...

you have no idea how bad that makes a person feel.

Off that subject for a minute.

I've been trying everything to make this relationship work.
I mean we are ALWAYS fighting now. I try to talk things out
but he either doesn't listen cause hes on xbox or he'll just sit there
and makes jokes bout everything.

I tried planning a romantic evening for the both of us and it just completely
blow up in my face. other then that I don't know what else to do... I tried buying the sexy clothes...the sex games/toys. I've even simply tried talking to him about it and it doesn't help..


I mean.. I honestly don't care that much about sex. Its just... I want to feel like he still wants me. like he still cares about me. Just seems like he could careless if we were together or not.. I love this man more then life itself. I just dont know what to do anymore.


any suggestions?
am I just over reacting?...
how would you feel in this situation?

Oh btw... just for info.. I'm 20 and he's 23.



You don't have a boyfriend. You have a roommate who expects fellatio from you.

If you're fine with that, great.

If you're not fine with that, tell him so honestly and be prepared to move on if you have to.
xMiss FaMoUS
Oh geez. where do I start.
well obviously in the beginning of our relationship
things were great! we spent time together, we had a healthy
sex life and we were happy.


now, 6 months later.
we moved in together at this point.
99% of the time I have to beg him to get
off of the xbox to spend 10minutes with me before bed.
He works 530 to like..midnight all week.
the second he walks in the door hes glued to
the xbox which I wouldn't mind most of the time because
I'm a gamer too but when he glued on it all night,doesnt go
to bed til 5am then sleeps til 4pm. then has to rush to get to work.
It leaves NO time for us to spend even 10minutes together..

also we don't have nearly as much sex as we used too.
now Its like.. he doesnt want sex he justs wants bj's.
which I don't mind but when I want any type of pleasure
I have to beg him for a hour before he'll do anything which
rarely happens anyway.

lately when hes been asking for bj's I'll say " no but we can have sex"
and he'd rather jerk off then have sex with me...

you have no idea how bad that makes a person feel.

Off that subject for a minute.

I've been trying everything to make this relationship work.
I mean we are ALWAYS fighting now. I try to talk things out
but he either doesn't listen cause hes on xbox or he'll just sit there
and makes jokes bout everything.

I tried planning a romantic evening for the both of us and it just completely
blow up in my face. other then that I don't know what else to do... I tried buying the sexy clothes...the sex games/toys. I've even simply tried talking to him about it and it doesn't help..


I mean.. I honestly don't care that much about sex. Its just... I want to feel like he still wants me. like he still cares about me. Just seems like he could careless if we were together or not.. I love this man more then life itself. I just dont know what to do anymore.


any suggestions?
am I just over reacting?...
how would you feel in this situation?

Oh btw... just for info.. I'm 20 and he's 23.



******** that guy. Figuratively, not literally. If he is that interested in his Xbox he can feel free to ******** it while you go on with your life. He's disrespecting you really seriously, and if the issue was that he didn't desire you, but he did respect you he'd break up with you, or he'd get over it because he cares enough to be with you anyway. Yeah, either of those would still suck because you clearly don't want to break up, and nobody wants someone who finds them distasteful just sticking it out because they otherwise like you.

But instead he's just picking fights with you and refusing to pleasure you in any sort of way. And constantly ignoring you. That ridiculous withholding behavior is not only unpleasant, it's also emotionally abusive.

So stop bothering with the bjs, go find someone that appreciates you and consider this a lesson learned about where to draw the line with being mistreated so you don't find yourself here again.

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