Welcome to Gaia! ::

Blackrose_Knight
broculies
Blackrose_Knight
broculies
It's complicated. It involves my dad. But It's something that I can never act upon. It's just to meesed up. I think I have problems. Should I see a shrink? Because I don't trust shrinks.
Incest? Not all that uncommon really. The real question is, "Do you think a shrink will do ya good?" Cause it doesn't matter what I thintk, it matters if you are ready to act or not.


Well it's not incest. It's related to when my dad used to take me hunting. I developed a liking for killing. I think the only way I can really enjoy sex is if something dies before or during.

And shrinks are the worst thing in the world. My brother's shrink drove him to suicide.
Says the Gaia user to the almost shrink..... >.>

Anyway, if you can only get off by killing/watching something die, you should most likely to go into therapy (not at your brother's therapist...) It qualifies as an issue as, well you are killing things and killing is generally non-consensual.

All in all, get that looked at mate.


I don't trust shrinks. I never will. One killed my brother and i don't want to go that route. Can you help me in any way?
The Kitten Meow's avatar

Shy Fatcat

(っ◕‿◕)っ ♥ ----------



My boyfriend told me about his deep dark secret, knowing full well that it may disgust me, but he told me anyway.

At first, I found it hard to stomach, but then I began to understand his fetish when he showed me and now, I'm more than happy to please him.

It really depends on your partner, but you should always tell them.



---------- (╥﹏╥)
Blackrose_Knight's avatar

Devoted Pirate

broculies
Blackrose_Knight
broculies
Blackrose_Knight
broculies
It's complicated. It involves my dad. But It's something that I can never act upon. It's just to meesed up. I think I have problems. Should I see a shrink? Because I don't trust shrinks.
Incest? Not all that uncommon really. The real question is, "Do you think a shrink will do ya good?" Cause it doesn't matter what I thintk, it matters if you are ready to act or not.


Well it's not incest. It's related to when my dad used to take me hunting. I developed a liking for killing. I think the only way I can really enjoy sex is if something dies before or during.

And shrinks are the worst thing in the world. My brother's shrink drove him to suicide.
Says the Gaia user to the almost shrink..... >.>

Anyway, if you can only get off by killing/watching something die, you should most likely to go into therapy (not at your brother's therapist...) It qualifies as an issue as, well you are killing things and killing is generally non-consensual.

All in all, get that looked at mate.


I don't trust shrinks. I never will. One killed my brother and i don't want to go that route. Can you help me in any way?
Nope, I cannot help you. I truly am sorry. I am not trained, and even if I was it would violate the APA's ethics code.

Why are you letting a singular (albeit traumatic) experience paint the entirety of a population?
broculies
Blackrose_Knight
broculies
It's complicated. It involves my dad. But It's something that I can never act upon. It's just to meesed up. I think I have problems. Should I see a shrink? Because I don't trust shrinks.
Incest? Not all that uncommon really. The real question is, "Do you think a shrink will do ya good?" Cause it doesn't matter what I thintk, it matters if you are ready to act or not.


Well it's not incest. It's related to when my dad used to take me hunting. I developed a liking for killing. I think the only way I can really enjoy sex is if something dies before or during.

And shrinks are the worst thing in the world. My brother's shrink drove him to suicide.


You sound kind of like Jane Toppan to me. She was a famous serial killer from the 19th century who got off on killing as well. You can learn more about her here, if you like (it might shed some light on your own personality disorder):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Toppan
angel_259236102's avatar

Fashionable Bloodsucker

3,400 Points
  • Signature Look 250
  • Person of Interest 200
  • Clambake 200
Hopefulyl he does tell you parents. You are angry because you told them you have an ed? Too bad, that was a good move. THis isnt a healthy or normal fetish either, so hopefully he is smart enough to realize that and gets you the help you need, although you likely wont take it. But at least he is trying.

No one's shrink can make anyone do soething. Your brother killed himself because he had issues. Like its saying that because you ate pork, then did bad on a test, that the pork did it. Nope. If anythign the shrink was the thing that kept him alive as long as he did.
That is...a pretty disturbing fetish. Like others said,you should probably get checked out for that. I'm very sorry to hear about your brother, but not all therapists are bad people. I can agree that the good ones are few and far though.

To address your relationship issue...understand that he told your parents about your eating disorder because that is very dangerous to your health. However, if you decide to tell him about his secret because you don't want to hide it, or if he finds out, it would be terrible of him to tell anyone else about it when he knows your parents might disown you for it. Keep in mind, though, that he is allowed to feel freaked out if he finds out. Everyone has their own moral and sexual limitations, and that's okay. The important thing is you're not acting on it in a harmful way to yourself or others. I personally would not be able to accept this, but others might. So don't hold it against him if he can't accept it. If he loves you, he'll at least be respectful enough to tell you calmly he cannot accept it or at least not your parents. This is a potential deal breaker to a lot of people, but don't be too hard on yourself about it either. Just try your best to figure out why you're into it, and if you would like to move past it, figure out ways for yourself to get over it.

I hope all in all your boyfriend isn't a tattling a*****e about this though.
I am sorry about your brother, however, I strongly believe you should see a therapist about your fetish. You should not let one incidence put you off to therapy/counseling for good. For one, it may not have been the therapist's fault. Have you considered that you may be attributing fault to his therapist because it is easier to blame him/her for your brother's actions rather than accept that his death was internally-driven and beyond your control? Second, therapy is not magic. You have to want to help yourself in order for it to be effective.

Which brings me to this... Do not go into therapy SOLELY because people in this thread are telling you to do it. If you don't want to be there, you'll just be wasting money and time. Go because YOU want help, because YOU want to get past your ED, or address the fetish.

You may not trust your boyfriend but you need to understand that he told your parents about your ED for your benefit, because he cares about your well-being. Whatever it is, it is negatively impacting your physical and psychological health. Likewise, you need to know that there is something wrong with killing someone/thing for sexual release. Having the fantasy in your head and being able to have a healthy sex life without performing the act is one thing, but if you feel like you have to or are going to act upon it, then you really should get professional help. Again, that is something you have to want for yourself.

It is up to you to decide whether or not to tell him about the fetish. Hopefully, he will not tell your parents something that could get you disowned, but you need to understand that it is definitely a problem if you can only get off by killing / watching someone/thing die, just like having an ED is a serious medical issue that should be treated.
fubenkunai's avatar

Dangerous Conversationalist

You really do need to talk to someone about this. Yes, yes, I know, your brother, but you know what? People on the internet have driven God knows how many people over the edge to suicide, but you're not balking at doing that. I don't think you want to be the kind of person who takes life left and right. It seems to bug you. You don't seem to want this to escalate. In order to help yourself, you need to get someone professional to help you. You wouldn't walk around on a broken leg because you know someone whose doctor misdiagnosed them once, would you? Well, the same rules apply to your mind. When you don't feel well, you go to the doctor so you can get well. Anyone who wants to be judgmental about that is a c**k and you can ignore them.

Something that might be for you is BDSM play with experienced people. There are safe, sane, and consensual ways to act out violent fantasies. People do it all the time. Scope out your local BDSM scene (if you're of age; if not, you'll have to wait until you are) and see if there are any people who would play with you and do some of these scenes. I will tell you to be careful, be skeptical, and take it slow; unfortunately, there are creeps and predators in these scenes and they don't always get found out or dealt with in a timely way. If you think BDSM might help you, I suggest you check out a blog called The Pervocracy. Cliff, the author, has been practicing BDSM for years, and zie knows a lot about getting into a scene, making sure you can trust your partner, and practicing safe play.
Choke Chick's avatar

Interesting Poster

7,000 Points
  • Millionaire 200
  • Consumer 100
  • Tycoon 200
broculies
Well my problem is that it is a little extreme for even a chill crowd. I fear if I tell him, a catholic boy, that he will hate me and leave me. He also is a friend of my parents and he told my parents about my eating disorder. I do not want them to find out because they WILL disown me.

He tattled to your parents about something as personal as an eating disorder?
Dump his a**. He can't be trusted. What does he think this is, middle school or some s**t? You should be able to tell him anything without fear of him telling someone, let alone your parents! Jeez.
Vsalinas's avatar

Thieving Millionaire

8,300 Points
  • Tipsy 100
  • Friendly 100
  • Forum Regular 100
Are you sure its a death fetish and not a blood fetish? Wait, what am I talking about? You know yourself better than I know you. All in all though, I'd try to wean him into it by starting him off with something more tame than what you're really into and then casually ask him about what really gets you in the mood.
Dig into his personal life to find something shameful to emotionally blackmail him with.
Kaori242's avatar

Gracious Humorist

9,250 Points
  • Clambake 200
  • Sausage Fest 200
  • Prayer Circle 200
In general, I'd say that if your boyfriend is incapable of understanding (not necessarily helping you enact, but the mere act of understanding) your sexual fantasies and fetishes, that you might have to consider how compatible you guys really are.

But if your fetish includes killing things then I would strongly recommend getting some professional help. I'm going off of a limb and saying that that can probably develop into something pretty serious.
Your fetish is something that might want counselling. Then again if you're not going out killing living things then if you don't want therapy do not get it. (Besides it wastes money/time.)

Therapy is only needed if either you want to do it or you don't want to but you're a danger to others/yourself.

However your boyfriend is a rat for telling your parents about your ED. I don't care how many people say "he did you a favour". That is backstabbing, lying and breaking trust. He should of told you your ED was bad and he felt he should tell your parents but has no right to. I would of dumped his a**. Your partner can either be trusted or not and if not find someone you can trust.

Then again people say the "rape fetish" is disgusting and needs therapy yet lots of people have that fetish and are fine. They're not going out and actually getting raped nor supporting it. So morality wise would say murder vs rape which is worse and if a fetish involves either even if mild why should one be more accepted than the other.

I will ask: are you sure it is a killing fetish or a blood fetish? I've met people with a blood fetish and it isn't as weird as people think.

So this is a tricky situation I woudn't tell your boyfriend because you don't trust him and have every right not to trust him.
Do you actually have fantasies of killing? Or is it that you get off when seeing death, like in a movie or something?
I think there's a difference there. Obviously we don't know the details so we can't tell you how "bad" it is. In any case, you should get therapy. And most definitely, definitely, definitely, attempt to understand what exactly it is, and why exactly you respond to it. It will reveal a lot about what's actually going on.

Quick Reply

Submit
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get Items
Get Gaia Cash
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games