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I have been trying to hide my fetish from my straight-laced boyfriend but I fear is is now on to me. I do not know what to do. How can I open up to him or throw him off? Please help me!!!
misskew's avatar

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Well, what is this so called "fetish" that you're afraid to be honest with your boyfriend about?
Just tell him.
It's stupid to hide something from your lover.
If he doesn't like what you have to say, so what?
We all have our fetishes.
it doesnt sound like a fetish so much as a fantasy so far, and so what, tell him.. it could make sex ultra fun?
Blackrose_Knight's avatar

Devoted Pirate

Step 1) Be up front and comfortable with your fetish to your lover(s). Hiding it is an external expression of internal shame.

Since you didn't follow Step 1. Own up to it. Talk about it. I have found, if you don't make a big deal about it, it won't be a big deal.
Well my problem is that it is a little extreme for even a chill crowd. I fear if I tell him, a catholic boy, that he will hate me and leave me. He also is a friend of my parents and he told my parents about my eating disorder. I do not want them to find out because they WILL disown me.
Blackrose_Knight's avatar

Devoted Pirate

broculies
Well my problem is that it is a little extreme for even a chill crowd. I fear if I tell him, a catholic boy, that he will hate me and leave me. He also is a friend of my parents and he told my parents about my eating disorder. I do not want them to find out because they WILL disown me.
If your bf cannot accept all of you, including your kinky a** fetish (probablly not all that extreme) then you didn't want to be with him in the first place.

Or to quote shitty facebook pictures "I would rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not".

Edit: Derp my bad. Missed the possible unwanted disclosure. If it leaks back to your parents and you feel they would harm you/kick you out... lie your a** off. I normally don't support lying, but if your a** is on the line because of some ******** closed minding horsecuntry, LIE! Tell them he is spreading rumors because you dumped him (because that is what you did because he cannot accept all of you for who you are)
Blackrose_Knight's avatar

Devoted Pirate

What is your fetish anyway.

I have several, ranging from electro-play, bondage, flogging, spanking, breast torture and a recently piqued interested in consensual non-consent (also called rape fetish, but I don't like that phrase)
It's complicated. It involves my dad. But It's something that I can never act upon. It's just to meesed up. I think I have problems. Should I see a shrink? Because I don't trust shrinks.
Blackrose_Knight's avatar

Devoted Pirate

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It's complicated. It involves my dad. But It's something that I can never act upon. It's just to meesed up. I think I have problems. Should I see a shrink? Because I don't trust shrinks.
Incest? Not all that uncommon really. The real question is, "Do you think a shrink will do ya good?" Cause it doesn't matter what I think, it matters if you are ready to act or not.
Blackrose_Knight
broculies
It's complicated. It involves my dad. But It's something that I can never act upon. It's just to meesed up. I think I have problems. Should I see a shrink? Because I don't trust shrinks.
Incest? Not all that uncommon really. The real question is, "Do you think a shrink will do ya good?" Cause it doesn't matter what I thintk, it matters if you are ready to act or not.


Well it's not incest. It's related to when my dad used to take me hunting. I developed a liking for killing. I think the only way I can really enjoy sex is if something dies before or during.

And shrinks are the worst thing in the world. My brother's shrink drove him to suicide.
Get creative with it so you can start of slow with your Bf.

Kill something symbolically and then slowly build up to what really turns you on.
If he loves you he will give it a try.
Blackrose_Knight's avatar

Devoted Pirate

broculies
Blackrose_Knight
broculies
It's complicated. It involves my dad. But It's something that I can never act upon. It's just to meesed up. I think I have problems. Should I see a shrink? Because I don't trust shrinks.
Incest? Not all that uncommon really. The real question is, "Do you think a shrink will do ya good?" Cause it doesn't matter what I thintk, it matters if you are ready to act or not.


Well it's not incest. It's related to when my dad used to take me hunting. I developed a liking for killing. I think the only way I can really enjoy sex is if something dies before or during.

And shrinks are the worst thing in the world. My brother's shrink drove him to suicide.
Says the Gaia user to the almost shrink..... >.>

Anyway, if you can only get off by killing/watching something die, you should most likely to go into therapy (not at your brother's therapist...) It qualifies as an issue as, well you are killing things and killing is generally non-consensual.

All in all, get that looked at mate.
I don't know how well that would work. He's really timid. I think if I try anything close to what I want he'll freak out. But I love him. Maybe I'll just keep this to myself.
broculies
I don't know how well that would work. He's really timid. I think if I try anything close to what I want he'll freak out. But I love him. Maybe I'll just keep this to myself.


It's your go though. You know him better than anyone here.
But don't be afraid to take some of the advice these wonderful people have bestowed.

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