I'm glad you are getting more help and things organized for you! If you don't break things down now, things will break you down. Of course it will be a discipline to learn how to break things down habitually, so don't feel threatened by your flaws. It's just for motivated awareness that the fear of not getting everything done < actually getting things done by being kind to yourself.
Feel free to skim or read later. The story of my crippling part of my life runs deep with me despite leaving out the details.
I was going through a rough break up with my best friend and ex. My ex friend even intervene and stressed me so bad to the point I couldn't save my baby and had a miscarriage. She believe her fake pregnancy of 1 week was more important than me going to the doctor. Yet I could only blame myself for my naivety and choices I made. I have a belief that when I felt like I lost all of myself, not all the part of me dies. What's left over was what they couldn't take. My life, my love for them, my love for music, basically things I had before I knew them and could still do even if I wasn't as passionate or hopeful as before, I still had something. My stronger belief which was also my poison was finding silver linings. I thought i would have at least friends to support me, instead I lost and left all my mutual friends so they wouldn't be caught in the middle. Even I couldn't have my own parents support me and made things worse. I started to run out of support, sanity, and money.
It started getting tougher for me as I had to pay for two homes (my parents and my house) , two college tuition, my parents were sabotaging me getting a license, I was getting so dehydrated and malnourished, bronchitis, too sick to go to school or the doctor, feeling or being alienated, hated myself, stalked by my ex and ex friend who wouldn't stop contacting me I had to file a report on then but could not file a restraint since they only currently showed action in cyber harassment (thank my lucky stars they are just cowards), the people I tried dating again were trying to get back to me or missed me after breaking up with me but I was having none if that noise, other small disappointment from humanity and friends slathered on top of it, failing classes no matter how kind and supportive my teachers were. Eventually one of my teachers confided in me that I should take a break from school because he was in the same situation I was when he was in college.
I didn't dwell about how I lost people who I thought would be by my side even if the world was against me, I had absolute belief I would find love again and needed to work on myself for now. Except I was being robbed of everything. My parents were asking for more money despite me paying most of everything and working at a part time job while going to school. They were also bothering my land lord and breaking the rules.
I seriously thought I deserved to die from all the treatment I was getting despite being thankful for the lessons and little support I had. I couldn't snap out from feeling some sort of pity when I held my heart and body up. I began home hopping (because my parents didn't leave my house), drank alcohol (not much though, I was desperate to try coping methods other people used but it still taste awful in the midst of the desert called hell), and erasing traces of myself online. There was constantly things I over looked online that left an opening for my ex's to contact me.
How did I get over it? I waited. I waited for moments that were made just for me. I didn't live life blocked and hidden by camera lenses. I danced in the sun light while it somehow rained as if they were sun-kissed special delivery. I learned how to grieve without reminiscent. I did no contact with toxic people on my end. After 9 months people start to back off from me. I must have been that amazing if it took them that long to give up on me. And I kept it warm in my heart like a secret diary because others don't need to understand my adventures, mourning, and healing. They would only hurt me more when they couldn't acknowledge me despite understanding my situation.
I was going to bare scars as medals without having a sense of ego. We were born with nothing in the world and would end with nothing, so that lifted off a lot of burden trying to meet society's milestones and common sense.
I learn to be human. And no physical and mental illness, not even me, could take that away.
So even though your dying without being granted death, it is still a life. Any issues won't matter later anyways, so accumulating a lot of happiness, going with the flow, and treating sadness as lessons will open many doors for you. You start to say and take action to solve things, instead of wasting time explaining and understanding. Every terrible setback makes future setbacks of a lesser extent feel much formidable to deal with. It's only when you tally what you lost that makes it hard to continue.
The key to happiness is to be content, not happy. You can either be a student with all B's or have one A with the rest being C's.