Is this a healthy weight for me?

[Jermbig]

http://i.imgur.com/UWKpzUo.jpg

A little backstory.

I grew up in an abusive household. I developed an eating disorder (yeah, I know. Guys aren't supposed to have those) and ate as little as possible to keep able to stand. Up until January of 2013 I weighted in between 97-105lbs, and was always upset when I got any higher.

In late 2012 I decided to change my life. I enlisted to Job Corps and began forcing myself to eat. I know I have made a lot of progress mentally in other areas, but I'm still having some trouble with my image.

I am around 130lbs now, though I have not weighed myself in a while. I can't see my ribs on my back anymore and it bothers me. When I feel my stomach and chest and parts of my back I can feel the softness of fat and it grosses me out.

I feel healthier, I can do more physically. But when I feel the fat on my body I just feel like it shouldn't be there.

Should I be trying to go lower? Higher? Should I stay where I am? I know I am healthier this way but it just looks so unappealing to me. Like the way I looked my whole previous life is the real me and this isn't right.

I know this is a very strange -and personal- post, but I've never mentioned this to any of my family or friends and I don't want them to know.

Edit: I am 5 feet, 7 inches.

[XVNekioVX]

How tall are you?

[Jermbig]

klein_eine

How tall are you?

5 feet 7 inches.

[XVNekioVX]

Jermbig

klein_eine

How tall are you?

5 feet 7 inches.

You suck. I'm 4'10 " ish and my goal weight is like 110.
You should not lose any more weight. I don't think you should gain more either. You will eventually be able to accept this new healthy you as the real you.

[XVNekioVX]

klein_eine

Jermbig

klein_eine

How tall are you?

5 feet 7 inches.

You suck. I'm 4'10 " ish and my goal weight is like 110.
You should not lose any more weight. I don't think you should gain more either. You will eventually be able to accept this new healthy you as the real you.

Yes I have height envy.

[ly-tel-quessir]

You look in shape to me, for your height. Perhaps try toning up instead of aiming to lose/gain weight?

[TheVampireFairy x3]

unboundsmiter

You look in shape to me, for your height. Perhaps try toning up instead of aiming to lose/gain weight?

This.
Gaining muscle mass by toning will help you look slimmer and get rid of the fat you hate whilst still leaving you at a healthy weight.
Also, you say you feel healthier now than you did when you were underweight, try to remember that. It's really amazing that you've recovered, especially as you're male. Men don't tend to get help (despite the fact they get them probably as often as women) for these disorders so I would be really proud that you are healthy again.

[Lady Crumpet]

You look like a healthy weight. But I agree what others said, consider toning up and getting fit. It'll give you more energy and you'll lose the fat where you hate it. Win win!

[Delightful_FOOL]

I think you look fine just the way you are. In fact, I find the build you have now to be very attractive. If you want to tone, then do so. However, I think your focus shouldn't be on appearance, but, rather, health. So, set yourself fitness goals. Things like, "I want to be able to do 100 crunches by x date." or "I want to be able to shave 2 minutes off my mile run time in a month." Things like that. Just focus on being healthy; not the number on the scale or anything like that. When you achieve a fitness goal, make a big deal about it. Celebrate it! It's exciting! You're taking care of this wonderful body that you have and it will, in turn, take good care of you.

[mangachan]

You are considered what some may call "skinny-fat". you are defiantly within a healthy weight range. It's just that you are under muscled with a slightly higher body after percentage. You don't want to combat that by just losing weight. As others above have said, work on your overall fitness to build your musculature. Do NOT just go cutting out calories either. That will wreck havoc with your metabolism.

[bumblebeez]

You look skinny but not fit, you don't need to loose weight but gaining some muscle weight would look good on you.

Here's me at 115lbs, I've still got some weight on me but I'm working on my abdominal, muscle always looks better then just skinny

tummy

[bumblebeez]

You look fine by the way, you do not have very much fat on you and its a good thing to not be so skinny that you can see your bones, but some muscle tone might help with the sculpting you want.

You should do 20-50 crunches every other day and swim for an hour 1-2 times a week and have time in a sauna if you can. If eating is hard eat nuts and dried fruit and fresh veggies and lots of water.

Your far from fat.

[Yandere-San]

Your weight is fine, but you're unsatisfied because nothing is toned. So you look soft. If you worked out and gained some muscle mass, you'd probably be a lot more pleased.

[Kids React]

klein_eine

I'm 4'10 as well. lol
My doctor says a healthy weight for my height is 120lb

[legnanellaf5]

Fieryat

klein_eine

I'm 4'10 as well. lol
My doctor says a healthy weight for my height is 120lb

Eh, not really, that is more overweight than anything. Because of how small you are, a few pounds looks like more, and the ideal is going to be from 100-115. More than that and you tend to have a lot more fat than you should for your frame. Of course there is only generalizing (asians tend to hover around 90 at that height and are really slim), but 120 is pretty fat for someone under 5 feet.

Anyways, op the isue isnt your weight but how you look at your body. I can say looking just at your picture you are not fat, and you need to gain some weight or msucle or something because you are pretty damn skinny. You shouldnt BE seeing your ribs on your back. That isnt healthy, that is your ed telling you ******** up things. Your stomach is SUPPOSED to be soft. You are seeing fat where others see normal. And while you may be making yourself eat, you are still in that ED mindset. That will not go away unless you address it.