StrawberryTango
(?)Community Member
- Posted: Mon, 04 Feb 2013 22:39:17 +0000
My boyfriend, myself, his daughter, and my daughter were at the grocery store about a week ago. We were trying to decide what to get when I glance over at his kid - something caught my eye - and there she is with her pants down, underwear with! They were just below her privates, but everything was on display. I snapped at her - more shocked and reacting than anything else - and she instantly pulled her pants back up, but this event caused me to have a very long discussion with him about modesty and, worse, things that could have happened to her.
Recently, there were issues at her grandmother's, where she was babysat after school, but my boyfriend has spoken to his daughter and she swears, up and down, that nothing happened to her. Keep in mind she misses her grandmother and really wants to go back there, so I'm not sure how much we can take her word if she's afraid of getting someone in trouble.
She's seven. She used to walk around his apartment without a shirt, which I attributed to seeing her daddy walk around in pants and no shirt. I told him that made me uncomfortable and now he's usually telling her to make sure to put a shirt on when she comes out of her bedroom. She's typically very modest. She screams when her dad has to poke his head into the bathroom to tell her to get out (if he doesn't, she stays in there), she yelps when anyone walks by her room (she leaves the door open) while she's changing.
Other than that, however, when I breached the subject, he became mad. When I said something could have happened to her, he thought I was accusing him of doing something. He told me that he was close to packing up my things and ending our relationship. Now, I have a little history with this topic, and my current boyfriend knows this. My previous boyfriend and father of my child is in prison for possessing child pornography. I never thought he'd ever do something like that, but he did; maybe now I'm just on the look out for things like this or maybe I'm so paranoid about it happening, that I presume it will.
To me, a child pulling their pants down - I am in the boat that there's no way her underwear would've fallen with her pants, though she says they slipped - in a store is a huge red flag of something wrong.
I'm of two minds: she's been hurt and violated or she's acting out for attention. Recently, I lean toward the latter, but considering how angry her dad gets at this subject, I'm reserved and afraid he may be keeping something from me.
I can't imagine him ever doing something like that...but I never imagined my ex to be a felon in the making, either.
Help?
Recently, there were issues at her grandmother's, where she was babysat after school, but my boyfriend has spoken to his daughter and she swears, up and down, that nothing happened to her. Keep in mind she misses her grandmother and really wants to go back there, so I'm not sure how much we can take her word if she's afraid of getting someone in trouble.
She's seven. She used to walk around his apartment without a shirt, which I attributed to seeing her daddy walk around in pants and no shirt. I told him that made me uncomfortable and now he's usually telling her to make sure to put a shirt on when she comes out of her bedroom. She's typically very modest. She screams when her dad has to poke his head into the bathroom to tell her to get out (if he doesn't, she stays in there), she yelps when anyone walks by her room (she leaves the door open) while she's changing.
Other than that, however, when I breached the subject, he became mad. When I said something could have happened to her, he thought I was accusing him of doing something. He told me that he was close to packing up my things and ending our relationship. Now, I have a little history with this topic, and my current boyfriend knows this. My previous boyfriend and father of my child is in prison for possessing child pornography. I never thought he'd ever do something like that, but he did; maybe now I'm just on the look out for things like this or maybe I'm so paranoid about it happening, that I presume it will.
To me, a child pulling their pants down - I am in the boat that there's no way her underwear would've fallen with her pants, though she says they slipped - in a store is a huge red flag of something wrong.
I'm of two minds: she's been hurt and violated or she's acting out for attention. Recently, I lean toward the latter, but considering how angry her dad gets at this subject, I'm reserved and afraid he may be keeping something from me.
I can't imagine him ever doing something like that...but I never imagined my ex to be a felon in the making, either.
Help?