Is it okay to think this?

[I Am Tatsuki-Chan]

So, I've been going through a lot of depression lately.
And Now My grandfather is calling me a worthless piece of s**t...
So I be thinking... Maybe I should just die and let them go on with their lives..
How would they feel once I was gone...
How would they change things?
Would they quit calling me worthless...
Mental...
That I need help...

I'm a really good girl..
I might not have a job but atleast I'm not out doing drugs.. Getting prego...
Or anything like that.
Like honestly..

I might just need to get put on anti depressants again...

Sorry if this might look like I'm trying to get attention..
But i'm not.. I need someone to talk to right now and no one will talk to me back.
I'm just sick of everything.

[Used_Abused_Forgotten]

Killing yourself doesn't do anything but ruin your own life.
I'm sorry your Grandfather is a douche... but what seems to be making you depressed?
is it what he's saying? something someone else said or did?

Edit: sorry I accidentally quoted the first post.

[I Am Tatsuki-Chan]

I know that dying won't do anything and i don't plan on dying anytime soon, but that just what I think sometimes. Like What If.
My mom's on drugs... We get into fist fights all the time.
My grandfather calls me names in order to make me stronger I guess.
My fathers a drunk that I've only seen like maybe 4 or 5 times.
My grandmother tells me I need help all the time.
boyfriends have treated me badly.
I can't make any girl friends because every time I do they start stupid rumors about me.
I don't have my own place yet.
I don't have a job...
i don't know..
Just a lot of crap.

[edit] Oh that fines.

[weeneez]

My mother has called me a waste of time, and a whore. I love my Mom and I know she loves me.
Sometimes we say really nasty things to our family and loved ones, it happens. I'm sure your Grandpa loves you.
While its sometimes normal to think this way, it doesn't make it okay.
I would confide to your family about how you feel, and seek some help if you're considering suicide.

[weeneez]

I Am Tatsuki-Chan

I know that dying won't do anything and i don't plan on dying anytime soon, but that just what I think sometimes. Like What If.
My mom's on drugs... We get into fist fights all the time.
My grandfather calls me names in order to make me stronger I guess.
My fathers a drunk that I've only seen like maybe 4 or 5 times.
My grandmother tells me I need help all the time.
boyfriends have treated me badly.
I can't make any girl friends because every time I do they start stupid rumors about me.
I don't have my own place yet.
I don't have a job...
i don't know..
Just a lot of crap.

[edit] Oh that fines.

How old are you? You sound like you're still in High School. If so, its too early to be looking for a place of your own right now. And a lot of people your age don't have jobs either. You've dated the wrong boyfriends then, the right person will come along eventually, you just need to stick around and wait for them to come along. My father is a drunk too and he has Hep C and he's going to die soon of liver failure, and the first time I saw him was when I was 16 years old.
I feel you, I really do. Talk to a family member who you trust the most, and tell them you feel as though you might be a danger to yourself. If they don't believe you, go to school and speak to a school counselor and talk to them, they'll deal with the situation professionally.

[erratic animosity]

I wouldn't say it's "OK" to feel that way, but you're not alone in that way of thinking.
I'm not sure what your grandfather's deal is, but sometimes when people say nasty things to the ones they love/their family, it's either displaced anger or a really terrible way of expressing themselves. Maybe he has an issue within himself and he just takes it out on you instead? It just seems like your family goes through a lot of issues in general.

I'm not sure how old you are, but have you talked to a therapist/counselor? Even if they can't change your home life, at least it would give you someone to talk to. If your mother is getting into fights with you and it gets bad, you should (in my opinion) call the police. Stuff like that shouldn't happen.

[Used_Abused_Forgotten]

It really sounds like you just need to get away.

Read this:
http://blissfullydomestic.com/family-bliss/money-family-bliss/work-for-free-college-tuition-2/36365/

If you're old enough, those could get you out and in a college. Look into em, Being a student at a near by college sometimes really helps your chance of getting a job.

What kind of rumors?

[I Am Tatsuki-Chan]

weeneez

I Am Tatsuki-Chan

I know that dying won't do anything and i don't plan on dying anytime soon, but that just what I think sometimes. Like What If.
My mom's on drugs... We get into fist fights all the time.
My grandfather calls me names in order to make me stronger I guess.
My fathers a drunk that I've only seen like maybe 4 or 5 times.
My grandmother tells me I need help all the time.
boyfriends have treated me badly.
I can't make any girl friends because every time I do they start stupid rumors about me.
I don't have my own place yet.
I don't have a job...
i don't know..
Just a lot of crap.

[edit] Oh that fines.

How old are you? You sound like you're still in High School. If so, its too early to be looking for a place of your own right now. And a lot of people your age don't have jobs either. You've dated the wrong boyfriends then, the right person will come along eventually, you just need to stick around and wait for them to come along. My father is a drunk too and he has Hep C and he's going to die soon of liver failure, and the first time I saw him was when I was 16 years old.
I feel you, I really do. Talk to a family member who you trust the most, and tell them you feel as though you might be a danger to yourself. If they don't believe you, go to school and speak to a school counselor and talk to them, they'll deal with the situation professionally.

Oh no.. I'm 20. Haha! I wish I was still in highschool! But The girls around here do act like their still in highschool. I've tried to talk to a family member but all they do is yell. I just think I need to get out of here.

[weeneez]

I Am Tatsuki-Chan

weeneez

I Am Tatsuki-Chan

I know that dying won't do anything and i don't plan on dying anytime soon, but that just what I think sometimes. Like What If.
My mom's on drugs... We get into fist fights all the time.
My grandfather calls me names in order to make me stronger I guess.
My fathers a drunk that I've only seen like maybe 4 or 5 times.
My grandmother tells me I need help all the time.
boyfriends have treated me badly.
I can't make any girl friends because every time I do they start stupid rumors about me.
I don't have my own place yet.
I don't have a job...
i don't know..
Just a lot of crap.

[edit] Oh that fines.

How old are you? You sound like you're still in High School. If so, its too early to be looking for a place of your own right now. And a lot of people your age don't have jobs either. You've dated the wrong boyfriends then, the right person will come along eventually, you just need to stick around and wait for them to come along. My father is a drunk too and he has Hep C and he's going to die soon of liver failure, and the first time I saw him was when I was 16 years old.
I feel you, I really do. Talk to a family member who you trust the most, and tell them you feel as though you might be a danger to yourself. If they don't believe you, go to school and speak to a school counselor and talk to them, they'll deal with the situation professionally.

Oh no.. I'm 20. Haha! I wish I was still in highschool! But The girls around here do act like their still in highschool. I've tried to talk to a family member but all they do is yell. I just think I need to get out of here.

Are you in college or anything? And oh yeah, I know that too, I'm 22 and plenty of the girls I know act like they're still 16 and in High School. Some girls just take longer to mature. Have you tried making guy friends instead of gals? That's how I am, I just click with guys more than I do my female friends (even though I only have 2 or 3 I can stand, really).

[I Am Tatsuki-Chan]

Infinite Damnation

I wouldn't say it's "OK" to feel that way, but you're not alone in that way of thinking.
I'm not sure what your grandfather's deal is, but sometimes when people say nasty things to the ones they love/their family, it's either displaced anger or a really terrible way of expressing themselves. Maybe he has an issue within himself and he just takes it out on you instead? It just seems like your family goes through a lot of issues in general.

I'm not sure how old you are, but have you talked to a therapist/counselor? Even if they can't change your home life, at least it would give you someone to talk to. If your mother is getting into fights with you and it gets bad, you should (in my opinion) call the police. Stuff like that shouldn't happen.

I think my grandpa only says that stuff to make me better myself. I don't know. I've tried talking to a consular, but that didn't help. You wouldn't believe my family though! It's actually quiet funny that we cannot get through any holidays with out a big brawl!

This last time we fought, I called the police and now she's calmed down quiet a bit.

[I Am Tatsuki-Chan]

weeneez

I Am Tatsuki-Chan

weeneez

I Am Tatsuki-Chan

I know that dying won't do anything and i don't plan on dying anytime soon, but that just what I think sometimes. Like What If.
My mom's on drugs... We get into fist fights all the time.
My grandfather calls me names in order to make me stronger I guess.
My fathers a drunk that I've only seen like maybe 4 or 5 times.
My grandmother tells me I need help all the time.
boyfriends have treated me badly.
I can't make any girl friends because every time I do they start stupid rumors about me.
I don't have my own place yet.
I don't have a job...
i don't know..
Just a lot of crap.

[edit] Oh that fines.

How old are you? You sound like you're still in High School. If so, its too early to be looking for a place of your own right now. And a lot of people your age don't have jobs either. You've dated the wrong boyfriends then, the right person will come along eventually, you just need to stick around and wait for them to come along. My father is a drunk too and he has Hep C and he's going to die soon of liver failure, and the first time I saw him was when I was 16 years old.
I feel you, I really do. Talk to a family member who you trust the most, and tell them you feel as though you might be a danger to yourself. If they don't believe you, go to school and speak to a school counselor and talk to them, they'll deal with the situation professionally.

Oh no.. I'm 20. Haha! I wish I was still in highschool! But The girls around here do act like their still in highschool. I've tried to talk to a family member but all they do is yell. I just think I need to get out of here.

Are you in college or anything? And oh yeah, I know that too, I'm 22 and plenty of the girls I know act like they're still 16 and in High School. Some girls just take longer to mature. Have you tried making guy friends instead of gals? That's how I am, I just click with guys more than I do my female friends (even though I only have 2 or 3 I can stand, really).[/quote

I'm thinking about going to collage this fall so It'll get me out of here.
And Yeah! I have more guy friends. Lol Only one girl is the only one that I can trust.