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Sexual assault awareness

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Valtiel the Watcher's avatar

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I know there is the fear that you will not be taken seriously, that this will be an embarrassment, but.... Well... If he doesn't get punished, if he just gets away with it he will do it again. If people get away with someone consequence free that's what they're going to do.
Can and should you report the rape? Yes. But unfortunately, because it's a year later it will be difficult to get him convicted and sentenced. A lot of the time these cases become a "he said she said." He'll argue it was consensual and that you just changed your mind or something, and with only your word against his, it's hard to get a conviction.

That being said, if he already has other charges on his record, or other women are attacked by him, your story could help bring him to justice.
Izzy815
You told the police and they still haven't done anything about it after a year?? I think I'm missing something here... There's no way they would let that slide.
it is my responsibility to press charges. I told the police and all they can do until I decide to press charges is take down my statement. In was playing phone tag with the sex crimes detective at first and then stopped trying to contact him because I was too afraid. Now I feel differently in my perception of the whole thing. I no longer see the situation as hopeless.
` sex's avatar

Gracious Receiver

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Press charges- and avoid falling asleep in a male's storage shed, from now on.


wow are you ******** kidding me, was that comment really necessary?

Don't take it too specifically. It was a facetious version of, "don't drop your guard so much."


uh you don't really need to say that after the fact.
i think her experience of being ******** raped has done enough for that
Spermicide Queen's avatar

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YES. Report the b*****d. I regret not reporting my sexual assault. You deserve to feel safe and he deserves to rot in jail. God bless and I hope if you do press charges that everything goes well for you.
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I'm going to be blunt...but this is kind of self explanatory...

You should've reported him.

He raped you and threatened you. He forced you into something that you didn't want to do and you didn't press charges?

Press charges because he could do it to multiple women...and you don't want them to go through a experience similar to yours, do you?

If you didn't do it the first time, you might not be able to do it now...now that I think about it. You should've done it the first time around. If it has been a year since it has happened, you may be S.O.L for getting this jerk imprisoned. :/

The most you can do now for the development of PTSD is go see a therapist or a psychiatrist and work on the symptoms.

Next time when you hang around a dude that you met, have other people with you. NEVER be alone with a guy unless you know this dude like the back of your hand, and even then you must always be on your guard. Never ever go into some dude's shed and fall asleep...the fact that he took you to a shed is sketch enough.

I will be honest....after having to be a person who got pulled into a rape case...and having to speak to a detective. There's no guarantee that you'll win the case. It'll be a he-said-she-said basis and they'll toss the case while keeping the fact that you reported on record. It'll just sit there. A rape kit MIGHT work...it might not....the fact that it took you this long to press charges doesn't really work in your favor. I am not saying to not say anything, but I am telling you to not expect a miracle. I've seen this happen with one of my former friends. She reported rape....did it happen, i don't know. Did she attempt to press charges? Yes, she did. How many people had to talk to the detective....I would say, at max....4 out of the six or seven people who were called in. Did she get any justice? Of course not. No solid evidence, her story was different from what we told the detective. Was the case tossed? You bet your bottom dollar it was. She placed her self in a hole filled with crap....I'm not going to get into the aftermath of the situation.
The Spellslinger's avatar

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Press charges- and avoid falling asleep in a male's storage shed, from now on.


wow are you ******** kidding me, was that comment really necessary?

Don't take it too specifically. It was a facetious version of, "don't drop your guard so much."


uh you don't really need to say that after the fact.
i think her experience of being ******** raped has done enough for that

It depends on what she blames it on. If she blames it on the a*****e who did it, then she won't necessarily assume she was too lax. More often, women who are raped blame men in general- which only puts her on guard against men. If she's going to somehow fall asleep in somebody's shed, then she needs to be more vigilant against everything than she is. I cannot wrap my head around what would make somebody do that. You might as well walk through a ghetto alley with diamond necklaces and ruby rings.
Yes, sweetheart. Press charges now. This should not be something you question at all. Do it; if not for yourself, then for all the girls he's done this to before, or could do it to in the future. That ******** deserves to rot in jail.
People think that reporting a rape is so cut and dry.
Girls always see it as their fault when it's not.
I'm sorry this happen to you OP.
Don't worry, they will get this b*****d.
If they do it once, they will do it again, only to another. But hopefully they will get him before that.

I'm going to tell you the truth OP, it really doesn't look good for you personally in court.
If this took place over a year ago, there's no evidence.
They can put it on his record that he was accused of rape on you. but that's it.
There are so many false rapes now-a-days that police can't just go on witnesses anymore. There needs to be more evidence.
If he rapes again, they at least have your story for class evidence against this ******** p***k.
Then if he goes to jail, he will get raped, then murdered.
That's how jail works.
Demyan The Devil's avatar

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The Spellslinger
` sex
The Spellslinger
` sex
The Spellslinger
Press charges- and avoid falling asleep in a male's storage shed, from now on.


wow are you ******** kidding me, was that comment really necessary?

Don't take it too specifically. It was a facetious version of, "don't drop your guard so much."


uh you don't really need to say that after the fact.
i think her experience of being ******** raped has done enough for that

It depends on what she blames it on. If she blames it on the a*****e who did it, then she won't necessarily assume she was too lax. More often, women who are raped blame men in general- which only puts her on guard against men. If she's going to somehow fall asleep in somebody's shed, then she needs to be more vigilant against everything than she is. I cannot wrap my head around what would make somebody do that. You might as well walk through a ghetto alley with diamond necklaces and ruby rings.


She knew the guy for a year and he had become a friend. Of course she wasn't going to suspect he intended to harm her, and I think it was a reasonable assumption after knowing someone that long. Unfortunately she was wrong, but that doesn't mean all male friends can't be trusted when you're left alone with them.
The Spellslinger's avatar

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Demyan The Devil
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` sex
The Spellslinger
` sex
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Press charges- and avoid falling asleep in a male's storage shed, from now on.


wow are you ******** kidding me, was that comment really necessary?

Don't take it too specifically. It was a facetious version of, "don't drop your guard so much."


uh you don't really need to say that after the fact.
i think her experience of being ******** raped has done enough for that

It depends on what she blames it on. If she blames it on the a*****e who did it, then she won't necessarily assume she was too lax. More often, women who are raped blame men in general- which only puts her on guard against men. If she's going to somehow fall asleep in somebody's shed, then she needs to be more vigilant against everything than she is. I cannot wrap my head around what would make somebody do that. You might as well walk through a ghetto alley with diamond necklaces and ruby rings.


She knew the guy for a year and he had become a friend. Of course she wasn't going to suspect he intended to harm her, and I think it was a reasonable assumption after knowing someone that long. Unfortunately she was wrong, but that doesn't mean all male friends can't be trusted when you're left alone with them.

Oh, that's not what I'm saying at all. I'm talking about situational awareness. Falling asleep in a shed, for instance, is never a good idea. Neither is dressing rich and walking through an area where people are desperate. If you don't put yourself in positions like that, the chances of something bad happening are greatly reduced.
` sex's avatar

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Demyan The Devil
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` sex
The Spellslinger

Don't take it too specifically. It was a facetious version of, "don't drop your guard so much."


uh you don't really need to say that after the fact.
i think her experience of being ******** raped has done enough for that

It depends on what she blames it on. If she blames it on the a*****e who did it, then she won't necessarily assume she was too lax. More often, women who are raped blame men in general- which only puts her on guard against men. If she's going to somehow fall asleep in somebody's shed, then she needs to be more vigilant against everything than she is. I cannot wrap my head around what would make somebody do that. You might as well walk through a ghetto alley with diamond necklaces and ruby rings.


She knew the guy for a year and he had become a friend. Of course she wasn't going to suspect he intended to harm her, and I think it was a reasonable assumption after knowing someone that long. Unfortunately she was wrong, but that doesn't mean all male friends can't be trusted when you're left alone with them.

Oh, that's not what I'm saying at all. I'm talking about situational awareness. Falling asleep in a shed, for instance, is never a good idea. Neither is dressing rich and walking through an area where people are desperate. If you don't put yourself in positions like that, the chances of something bad happening are greatly reduced.


you realize what you're doing is victim-blaming right
you realize how shitty that it is
right

obviously she thought she was in a safe situation and through no fault of her own things got bad.
see this is the ******** problem with society, instead of focusing the blame and scrutiny on the guy who ******** raped her you're sitting here telling her she needs to be more on her guard. like uhhh i don't think she needs anyone to be ******** telling her that at this point.
The Spellslinger's avatar

Dangerous Regular

` sex
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Demyan The Devil
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The Spellslinger

Don't take it too specifically. It was a facetious version of, "don't drop your guard so much."


uh you don't really need to say that after the fact.
i think her experience of being ******** raped has done enough for that

It depends on what she blames it on. If she blames it on the a*****e who did it, then she won't necessarily assume she was too lax. More often, women who are raped blame men in general- which only puts her on guard against men. If she's going to somehow fall asleep in somebody's shed, then she needs to be more vigilant against everything than she is. I cannot wrap my head around what would make somebody do that. You might as well walk through a ghetto alley with diamond necklaces and ruby rings.


She knew the guy for a year and he had become a friend. Of course she wasn't going to suspect he intended to harm her, and I think it was a reasonable assumption after knowing someone that long. Unfortunately she was wrong, but that doesn't mean all male friends can't be trusted when you're left alone with them.

Oh, that's not what I'm saying at all. I'm talking about situational awareness. Falling asleep in a shed, for instance, is never a good idea. Neither is dressing rich and walking through an area where people are desperate. If you don't put yourself in positions like that, the chances of something bad happening are greatly reduced.


you realize what you're doing is victim-blaming right
you realize how shitty that it is
right

obviously she thought she was in a safe situation and through no fault of her own things got bad.
see this is the ******** problem with society, instead of focusing the blame and scrutiny on the guy who ******** raped her you're sitting here telling her she needs to be more on her guard. like uhhh i don't think she needs anyone to be ******** telling her that at this point.

I was wondering how long it would take you to accuse me of this. I have already said that he had no right to do that, and made clear my position that she should press charges. If he gets some serious jailtime, I would be extremely happy, simply because I have a strong desire for justice.
But blame isn't something you can cut up and distribute like pizza. While what he did was horrible, what she did was foolish, and they are both, to a degree, at fault. In other words, while he is 100% responsible for this, she is somewhat responsible as well. But something horrible happened to her, so something even more horrible should happen to him.
Jars of Sand
Izzy815
You told the police and they still haven't done anything about it after a year?? I think I'm missing something here... There's no way they would let that slide.
it is my responsibility to press charges. I told the police and all they can do until I decide to press charges is take down my statement. In was playing phone tag with the sex crimes detective at first and then stopped trying to contact him because I was too afraid. Now I feel differently in my perception of the whole thing. I no longer see the situation as hopeless.

Someone can help you with pressing charges and corroborate your story if that is what you want, but you have to tell the truth and be very clear on what you want. If you can't do that then someone would have to detail why you can't do it.

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