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Sexual assault awareness

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POlSON-CANDY
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I really feel for you girl. But be powerless no more. Take Martial Arts/boxing classes. It will help.
I was assaulted by a boy in front of all my friends. Of course I was traumatized (your situation is still worse.), but I decided to stop living in fear and to become stronger than I ever was before. I know how it feels to be completely powerless too. It's something you can overcome. So give boxing or martial arts go. Makes you feel more secure. Try getting into it.



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Jars of Sand
POlSON-CANDY
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I could never be obedient while being raped. I'd rather die... but not before grabbing his balls and twisting them. You should have beaten his a**... and you should have pressed charges immediately.



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He had all the power, and he's had all the power over my life for a year now. I'm tired of living in fear. You are absolutely correct, I should have pressed charges but I was too afraid.

That positively sounds like a good idea. Thanks smile
Bornes
Jacque De Molay
She can win this case. Do traces of another person's touch exist over a years time? There has to be something she can do, right?
User ImageShe has a police report and she probably did a rape kit. Unless they bring in some person who can analyze the tape and say 'this is definitely coercion and non-consensual" I really think the tape's going to be her downfall.

There's a possibility of her winning the case, sure. But there's an even larger possibility that she won't. Most rape trials don't end in a conviction (is that the correct way to word that?).

If she goes to trial she'll:
- be forced to relive the entire experience
- defend herself against victim blamers
- and if she loses, she loses all credibility and will become the "b***h that cried fake rape"
- If she wins, she'll turn into the "b***h that ruined [rapist's] life."

If it were me, I wouldn't do it. That's me.

But none of us here in this thread are specialized in this sort of thing. So she needs to talk to the sex crimes detective first, and listen to what THEY have to say. Not us.

I completely disagree with the bold. Many rape cases do not end in conviction because of lack of evidence usually because the victim waited too long. With her recollection of what happened, it would not be a stretch to a jury that he had threatened her to be compliant. The video and rape kit, coupled with a voluntary lie detector test, this could be a very easy case to win. I am a very skeptical person and I would vote to convict if I was on a jury. And if anything it would not even see a jury. A lot of DAs like to rack up charges to intimidate the defense, even if they know they can only win a couple. 9/10 the defense would rather plea out for a verdict of a year or two than fight in trial against seeing a couple decades.

Going to trial would definitely be painful, but after seeing some of the details it becomes pretty obvious that it would be beneficial for her to go through and press charges. Besides, doing nothing she would essentially be giving him control over her, even long after the event happened. She would forever be a victim and suffer the emotional trauma of what happened indefinitely. He could attack others in a similar fashion and the OP may hear about it through the news, friends, social media, etc. and feel responsible/guilty. If it went to trial people can believe what they want, but that is on them, not her.
POlSON-CANDY's avatar

Cutie-Pie

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Take it seriously, get rid of all fear and you won't have to worry about a man forcefully putting his hands on you again. Because if it ever happens again, you'll be ready.



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Jars of Sand
POlSON-CANDY
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I really feel for you girl. But be powerless no more. Take Martial Arts/boxing classes. It will help.
I was assaulted by a boy in front of all my friends. Of course I was traumatized (your situation is still worse.), but I decided to stop living in fear and to become stronger than I ever was before. I know how it feels to be completely powerless too. It's something you can overcome. So give boxing or martial arts go. Makes you feel more secure. Try getting into it.



User Image


Jars of Sand
POlSON-CANDY
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I could never be obedient while being raped. I'd rather die... but not before grabbing his balls and twisting them. You should have beaten his a**... and you should have pressed charges immediately.



User Image

He had all the power, and he's had all the power over my life for a year now. I'm tired of living in fear. You are absolutely correct, I should have pressed charges but I was too afraid.

That positively sounds like a good idea. Thanks smile
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Bornes
Jacque De Molay
She can win this case. Do traces of another person's touch exist over a years time? There has to be something she can do, right?
User ImageShe has a police report and she probably did a rape kit. Unless they bring in some person who can analyze the tape and say 'this is definitely coercion and non-consensual" I really think the tape's going to be her downfall.

There's a possibility of her winning the case, sure. But there's an even larger possibility that she won't. Most rape trials don't end in a conviction (is that the correct way to word that?).

If she goes to trial she'll:
- be forced to relive the entire experience
- defend herself against victim blamers
- and if she loses, she loses all credibility and will become the "b***h that cried fake rape"
- If she wins, she'll turn into the "b***h that ruined [rapist's] life."

If it were me, I wouldn't do it. That's me.

But none of us here in this thread are specialized in this sort of thing. So she needs to talk to the sex crimes detective first, and listen to what THEY have to say. Not us.
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I disagree. While not all cases are the same, I was raped at 14 by an adult and
COULDN'T even say no. I didn't even go in to testify and he was still convicted.

Unless the guy has a respectable position in society I doubt there'd be many victim blamers to deal with there. User Image
shultz96
Rape is rape. Tell.
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Press charges, but just know that this may not go as planned for you. When it comes to acquaintance-rape, everything suddenly goes from black-and-white to very grey. Listen very carefully to the people who started their posts with 'I'm going to get a lot of hate for this,' or whatever they were. I caught two, but there may be more of them. They are largely right - the whole experience is going to be very painful for you, and you should be prepared for a hefty amount of slut shaming. The defense will bring the tape of the event in to show you being 'complicit' in the event, and they'll say that since you were in the artsy area, you clearly have no morals. (I know that isn't true - but welcome to defense attorneys. )

The whole situation sucks - rape/sex crimes are always awful to prosecute. I suggest you do go through with it and press charges - if only for closure on your part, just prepare for the trial to be emotionally and physically draining and basically awful.
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Shirabelle
Bornes
Jacque De Molay
She can win this case. Do traces of another person's touch exist over a years time? There has to be something she can do, right?
User ImageShe has a police report and she probably did a rape kit. Unless they bring in some person who can analyze the tape and say 'this is definitely coercion and non-consensual" I really think the tape's going to be her downfall.

There's a possibility of her winning the case, sure. But there's an even larger possibility that she won't. Most rape trials don't end in a conviction (is that the correct way to word that?).

If she goes to trial she'll:
- be forced to relive the entire experience
- defend herself against victim blamers
- and if she loses, she loses all credibility and will become the "b***h that cried fake rape"
- If she wins, she'll turn into the "b***h that ruined [rapist's] life."

If it were me, I wouldn't do it. That's me.

But none of us here in this thread are specialized in this sort of thing. So she needs to talk to the sex crimes detective first, and listen to what THEY have to say. Not us.
User Image

I disagree. While not all cases are the same, I was raped at 14 by an adult and
COULDN'T even say no. I didn't even go in to testify and he was still convicted.

Unless the guy has a respectable position in society I doubt there'd be many victim blamers to deal with there. User Image


You were 14 - even if you testified that you WANTED to have sex with him, he STILL would have been convicted of rape. I believe OP was at/above the age of majority, so statutory rape no longer applies.
Jars of Sand
TWILIGHT IS AWWESOME
are you ******** serious?
how do you not report that s**t?

report him and put his a** in jail. he deserves the death penalty.

i'm sorry you had to go through that.


I reported him right after it happened. I've waited to press charges because I've been afraid.

that was a dumb move. he ******** you and had a great time while it was longest most terrifying day of your life, and you let him get away with it.

press charges asap and i hope they throw the book at him.
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press charges
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I wouldnt
you should though

gotta be stronger
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I'm sorry that that happened, but it may be too late. In addition, you may not be believed. Lawyers have ways of turning things around on people
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Well, yes.

But... it's been a year, and I don't see it working for you. Like he won't be convicted. There's ZERO evidence.

But I'm NEVER going to tell someone to not report a rape.

When it happened to me I was only about six, and the boy was 14. I was confused about the whole thing, and embarrassed and scared to tell anyone. I still have some issues from it, and wish now that I would have done something. Now, all that I can do is teach my own future children about people touching them, or making them feel uncomfortable, and to come to me or a trusted adult IMMEDIATELY.

But yes, report it.
Posties's avatar

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Yes, press charges.

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