I was raped, should I press charges? Mature.

Sexual assault awareness

Gold!	100.0%	[ 73 ]
Total Votes:			[ 73 ]

[le vide noir]

Political Extremism

People will be mad at me for this, but here goes:

Two scenarios exist here:

1. In some guy's storage shed a year ago you had some rough and fun sex with a guy you barely knew. Unable to handle your guilt, be it because you thought you were a slut, or merely that it was a regrettable encounter, you invented the idea that you were raped to protect your ego and self confidence. Let's face it, being a victim is better than being an idiot.

2. The scenario you described in the OP is truth.

I'm not going to judge you, say you are lying, or anything like that.

What I will say is that you majorly lack evidence. Innocence is presumed until evidence shows guilt. For all I know he's an innocent man.

If the court, judge, and jury you plead to is worth its salt it is going to throw you out on your a**. Most of these cases either aren't prosecuted or the defendant is found guilty because of lack of evidence. As far as anyone knows it was consensual and you merely have sour grapes.

You stated he recorded it. Make sure the police know that and pray to God he hasn't destroyed the video. That video's existence might be your only shot.

Basically if this is a lie, don't do it. You'll only humiliate yourself and ruin his life.

If it is the truth, weigh out the pros and cons and the likelihood the video still exists. I'm not saying you shouldn't, but the energy required vs the probability of conviction should be thought of.

Lastly calling a troll.

I think I remember doing a rape kit. I need to follow up with the sex crimes detective and see if the doctors found any evidence for my case number. I am telling the truth, I told him we were not going to have sex and he forced me into it. In his mind, it was just rough play. He actually believes it was consensual. He wants people to think it was my fault that what he did hurt me. You shouldn't have to threaten someone's life just for a sexual release. I'm still scared of him. I said no from the start.

[Lashuri Chan]

Jars of Sand

little aishi chan

You don't want him to get away with it but you're just now wanting to press charges after a year has passed? Where is the logic in that and can you even do it at this point in time?

I made a report, there is a case number but I never followed through with pressing charges because I was afraid. I've tried to forget about it for a year but now I just can't, because I am developing post traumatic stress disorder. I think I can still do something about it.

Sooooo because you now have PTSD you wanna press charges to put yourself at ease but at the time go around saying he can't just get away with it? Okay. Well like I said before, if you can still do it then fine, do it. Apparently you can file a report and press charges anytime you want, okay.

[POlSON-CANDY]

I could never be obedient while being raped. I'd rather die... but not before grabbing his balls and twisting them. You should have beaten his a**... and you should have pressed charges immediately.

[le vide noir]

POlSON-CANDY

I could never be obedient while being raped. I'd rather die... but not before grabbing his balls and twisting them. You should have beaten his a**... and you should have pressed charges immediately.

He had all the power, and he's had all the power over my life for a year now. I'm tired of living in fear. You are absolutely correct, I should have pressed charges but I was too afraid.

[Vardoger]

Jars of Sand

I need to speak with the sex crimes detective about what my options are

Yes. This is the first thing you should've done, not come to gaia with it.

Here's the problem with your situation...

Did you say no while you were on tape?
Does the guy have the tape now or do you?

If you didn't say no on the tape and/or the guy has the tape, if you go to trial they're probably going to bring the tape into the trial. As evidence that it was consensual. That you did not resist.

Frankly put (IANAL, of course), I really feel like unless that guy has a change of heart and confesses that he raped you, your entire trial is going to make everything worse for you.
=(

[Knobist]

Bornes

Jars of Sand

I need to speak with the sex crimes detective about what my options are

Yes. This is the first thing you should've done, not come to gaia with it.

Here's the problem with your situation...

Did you say no while you were on tape?
Does the guy have the tape now or do you?

If you didn't say no on the tape and/or the guy has the tape, if you go to trial they're probably going to bring the tape into the trial. As evidence that it was consensual. That you did not resist.

Frankly put (IANAL, of course), I really feel like unless that guy has a change of heart and confesses that he raped you, your entire trial is going to make everything worse for you.
=(

She can win this case. Do traces of another person's touch exist over a years time? There has to be something she can do, right?

[Knobist]

I hope to god you win this case.

[to find it was vanity]

If I'm not mistaken, there isn't any statute of limitations on rape cases in Texas. If you reported the incident to the police relatively soon after it happened, then your case would probably do well in court.

I'd recommend pressing charges and trying to get some closure on this whole incident. Courts are often very sympathetic towards victims of these sorts of despicable crimes, regardless of what some highly publicised and extreme exceptions sensationalised in the media say, so don't worry about no one in court seeing your side of the case.

[Vardoger]

Jacque De Molay

She can win this case. Do traces of another person's touch exist over a years time? There has to be something she can do, right?

She has a police report and she probably did a rape kit. Unless they bring in some person who can analyze the tape and say 'this is definitely coercion and non-consensual" I really think the tape's going to be her downfall.

There's a possibility of her winning the case, sure. But there's an even larger possibility that she won't. Most rape trials don't end in a conviction (is that the correct way to word that?).

If she goes to trial she'll:
- be forced to relive the entire experience
- defend herself against victim blamers
- and if she loses, she loses all credibility and will become the "b***h that cried fake rape"
- If she wins, she'll turn into the "b***h that ruined [rapist's] life."

If it were me, I wouldn't do it. That's me.

But none of us here in this thread are specialized in this sort of thing. So she needs to talk to the sex crimes detective first, and listen to what THEY have to say. Not us.

[Only Gray]

Uh...

Yes. Do et.

[le vide noir]

Bornes

Jars of Sand

I need to speak with the sex crimes detective about what my options are

Yes. This is the first thing you should've done, not come to gaia with it.

Here's the problem with your situation...

Did you say no while you were on tape?
Does the guy have the tape now or do you?

If you didn't say no on the tape and/or the guy has the tape, if you go to trial they're probably going to bring the tape into the trial. As evidence that it was consensual. That you did not resist.

Frankly put (IANAL, of course), I really feel like unless that guy has a change of heart and confesses that he raped you, your entire trial is going to make everything worse for you.
=(

I was not struggling on tape, saying no, or resisting in any way. I had given up. The whole tape looks like rough, consensual sex. I was merely making noises of great discomfort and frustration, that is all. The tape that he has is largely the biggest reason why I have not done anything about this yet. At first I believed that the tape would diminish any chances that people would believe me, and it was the purpose of him making the film to begin with. He held all the power and had complete control over the entire thing. For a year I believed the tape would create the illusion that would ruin my life, and now I see it as the first shred of evidence that he had sexual contact with me. I believe my life is more powerful than that video. The situation is bigger than the video. If I say the right things, and people listen to me, I may be able to use the video to empower my case. This is largely a battle of perception. The truth is the truth.

[le vide noir]

Jacque De Molay

Bornes

Jars of Sand

I need to speak with the sex crimes detective about what my options are

Yes. This is the first thing you should've done, not come to gaia with it.

Here's the problem with your situation...

Did you say no while you were on tape?
Does the guy have the tape now or do you?

If you didn't say no on the tape and/or the guy has the tape, if you go to trial they're probably going to bring the tape into the trial. As evidence that it was consensual. That you did not resist.

Frankly put (IANAL, of course), I really feel like unless that guy has a change of heart and confesses that he raped you, your entire trial is going to make everything worse for you.
=(

She can win this case. Do traces of another person's touch exist over a years time? There has to be something she can do, right?

The truth is the truth. I think I remember doing a rape kit after it happened, and if I did, I can at least scientifically prove that we had sexual contact. My life is bigger and an illusive video, the whole situation is bigger than the video, or any excuses he has. Naturally, the court system should listen to what I have to say, because it is the truth, and the truth should lock him up or at least create consequences for him to face.

[TWILIGHT IS AWWESOME]

are you ******** serious?
how do you not report that s**t?

report him and put his a** in jail. he deserves the death penalty.

i'm sorry you had to go through that.

[POlSON-CANDY]

I really feel for you girl. But be powerless no more. Take Martial Arts/boxing classes. It will help.
I was assaulted by a boy in front of all my friends. Of course I was traumatized (your situation is still worse.), but I decided to stop living in fear and to become stronger than I ever was before. I know how it feels to be completely powerless too. It's something you can overcome. So give boxing or martial arts go. Makes you feel more secure. Try getting into it.

Jars of Sand

POlSON-CANDY

I could never be obedient while being raped. I'd rather die... but not before grabbing his balls and twisting them. You should have beaten his a**... and you should have pressed charges immediately.

He had all the power, and he's had all the power over my life for a year now. I'm tired of living in fear. You are absolutely correct, I should have pressed charges but I was too afraid.

[le vide noir]

TWILIGHT IS AWWESOME

are you ******** serious?
how do you not report that s**t?

report him and put his a** in jail. he deserves the death penalty.

i'm sorry you had to go through that.

I reported him right after it happened. I've waited to press charges because I've been afraid.