I was raped, should I press charges? Mature.

Sexual assault awareness

Gold!	100.0%	[ 73 ]
Total Votes:			[ 73 ]

[On Your Six]

Let me sum it up:

"DON'T BE IN A ROOM WITH A RAPIST."

But how do you know they are a rapist?

ASSUME THEY ALWAYS ARE.

[On Your Six]

Also, that society has a lot of lessons on safety? Those are bullshit.
They teach "how not to get raped", but there are always exceptions that test those rules, to show that those rules are horrible.

A woman could do everything right and still get raped. For example

From link

Following a series of sexual assaults in Minneapolis:
The crime alert issued to residents in the latest attack included strong advice from police on what women need to do to protect themselves. That includes pay attention to strangers, avoid traveling alone (especially after dark), stay away from isolated areas, and switch directions and seek a safe place if you think someone is following you.
That’s the third to last paragraph. Let’s look at what we learned before we got there.
The latest victim called a friend as she walked out of a bar, and said she was concerned about a man following her. She was paying attention to strangers.
Then the man stole her phone.
The victim got on a bus headed toward her home, and the man did not immediately follow her. She avoided traveling alone (especially after dark).
Then the man got on the bus, two stops later.
It’s unclear what happened between then and when she got off the bus, but at that hour of the night, I’d certainly be inclined to think that staying on a bus would be safer than getting off in an unfamiliar neighborhood. It would, in fact, be the safest way to stay away from isolated areas, under the circumstances. (Unfortunately, it does rule out switching directions, because waiting for a bus going the other way would be dangerous.)
Then she got off the bus near her home, undoubtedly hoping to seek a safe place.
The man followed her. And raped her.
During this time, the friend the victim had contacted on her way out of the bar called the police, and was told they could do nothing. She called the victim’s phone again and again, until she finally talked to the ******** rapist, and eventually called her ex-husband and asked him to go over to her friend’s neighborhood and look for her. (He found the victim not long after it happened and took her to the hospital.)
So, to recap: The victim was suspicious enough to call a friend and tell her there was a creep around. She got on a well-lit moving vehicle that the creep wasn’t on. After he boarded it, she chose to stay on a well-lit moving vehicle with at least one other person on it, rather than get off and risk him following in an area where she’d have nowhere to run. She only got off the bus when she was close to the promise of safety—and let’s keep in mind, she didn’t know this guy was definitely planning to assault her. At this point, he was still Schrödinger’s Rapist.
She followed nearly all the ”strong advice” the police had to offer, and yet somehow, she didn’t magically rape-proof herself. Go figure.

[The Spellslinger]

On Your Six

What makes you think I trust people? I don't go around assuming everyone I meet is a rapist, that's for sure, but I still keep private matters private, and don't let myself get into certain situations. I've known people well over a year, whom I still don't trust.
That said, I'm not even advocating that degree of wariness ("wariness," because "paranoia," is much stronger than that) because the best thing you can do for yourself is simply to pay attention. You don't even have to go out of your way to do it- it's simply a matter of, "Oh, there are the phones." or, "This is an isolated area that I might have trouble getting out of- how badly do I really need to go in there?" Go in there, if you much, but maintain wariness while you are.
Also, I didn't say anything to be an a*****e. I actually quite like that user. I said something because it disturbed me, and I thought it needed to be said. The quotes at the end were all false analogies, by the way, and I have no idea who/what Klebold is.
EDIT: I just noticed your other two quotes. Sometimes you get into a situation which there's no good way out of. That doesn't mean that being on your guard won't help- it means that sometimes, even being on your guard isn't enough.

[On Your Six]

Klebold is a user I've put on ignore because he doesn't understand basic logic, and would follow me into threads dealing with rape to insult me. Then he'd private message me. And get on multiple accounts after I put him on ignore, twice.

[On Your Six]

And I want to clarify, I don't think you said anything of the things you did for the purpose of being insulting or mean. Most people don't. They're good intentioned, but may not understand trauma victims enough to know that what they are saying can be hurtful, or insulting.

Please please reconsider what you say to a victim next time. Pointing out what they should, or shouldn't, have done is pointless. It takes their self-doubt and self-blame and rubs it in their face, and I'm sure you didn't mean to do that.

So, just don't do it again, please?

[On Your Six]

The Spellslinger

EDIT: I just noticed your other two quotes. Sometimes you get into a situation which there's no good way out of. That doesn't mean that being on your guard won't help- it means that sometimes, even being on your guard isn't enough.

The way I generally tell it, is to be as careful as you feel you need to be, and do what you feel you can to survive. If that means fighting, then fight. If that means go along to avoid being hurt, then you do what you feel comfortable doing. Every situation is different, and I leave it up to the judgment of the victim as to what they can do, foremost, and then what they should do.

One of the luxuries of feeling that you can trust someone is being able to let your guard down around them; and that's why being raped by someone you know and trusted is such a huge shock and betrayal. Of all people, you should've been able to let your guard down around this person, right?

I still can't fall asleep around people who aren't immediate family. I still can't have people touch me without me immediately going into some form of hold, or at least pulling away if I can see them coming.

Generally, the hyperawareness and reactivity of trauma victims never goes away. It's just learned to be controlled.

[The Spellslinger]

On Your Six

And I want to clarify, I don't think you said anything of the things you did for the purpose of being insulting or mean. Most people don't. They're good intentioned, but may not understand trauma victims enough to know that what they are saying can be hurtful, or insulting.

Please please reconsider what you say to a victim next time. Pointing out what they should, or shouldn't, have done is pointless. It takes their self-doubt and self-blame and rubs it in their face, and I'm sure you didn't mean to do that.

So, just don't do it again, please?

I see what you mean, I suppose.

[The Spellslinger]

Jars of Sand

I hope you didn't take what I said too negatively. If you did, I apologize.

[DocQuinzel-HarleyQuinn]

Not reporting it when I was raped was the biggest mistake of my life. Please don't repeat it...

[Lliandra]

If you do end up pressing charges, BE STRONG. It will be hard but do your best to keep pushing. I was around 13ish I think when some man broke into our house and tried to rape my sister and I. Thankfully he only ended up fondling me and my sister was able to fend him off and get him out of our house.

It was easy to talk to the police but when it came to the small courtroom later on.. They put so much pressure on me. I broke. I just sat there and said I lied to make everyone leave me alone. He got out of jail in a couple months. A year later a woman called trying to get information on our case. Apparently he started dating this woman and raped her little girl. ;___; Because I wasn't strong enough and pretended it didn't happen. I'm 30 now and still think about it.I just can't believe how weak I was.

[dotty loves]

you should definitely press charges. i can't imagine how traumatic being raped is, but you might feel better at least putting it out into the open that he is a rapist. chances are he'll do it to another girl if he never sees the consequences for his actions.. i wish you the best of luck

[ViQlet]

I was sexually abused for 4 years by my own step father. Not just sexual abuse but all kinds of abuse. He hit me a lot. He had mental issues also, but my mother was a kind person and loved the person he was and saw light in fixing it. Till it got extremely serious and we decided to press charges. He got 2 years because of his mental state which is bullshittery and it pisses me off. He's currently trying to track where we live, has pinpointed where we're at, not exactly where we live but we could come across him in public places.

YES! press charges. There is no way in hell he should of got away with what he did for so long. And a 2 year prison sentence wasn't enough to teach that lesson. Especially since he's blaming it on me and my mother, but I blame that on the mental side. No one should have to deal with that, and I'm sorry you had to. But he shouldn't get away with it.

[L0LIS]

Yes, press charges.
If he did this to you, he must've done it to previous women and will continue to do so.

If you press charges, I am sure many women will not have to go through this, as well.

[unholy-angel13]

You have to press charges against that man, even if he says that you wanted it, that you brought it upon yourself, that you were asking for it.

It's not your fault, it's his.

Be strong and tell not only the police, but your parents too if you are going to press charges against him for rape. It's going to come out sooner or later and I'm sure that they'll be supportive.

[StreetchIck123]

Honestly you can tell the cops, but really the rape was a year ago. Chances are by legal means he probably wouldn't be in jail because there isn't enough evidence.