kawaiii lemon
(?)Community Member
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- Posted: Sat, 27 Sep 2014 03:56:53 +0000
I'm just going to tell it as it is.
This morning, I was sitting in science, and got a little bit of a head ache. I thought it was nothing, so I went through first period with it.
Second period, we were doing math, and I REALLY struggle in Algebra. I was sitting in class, and I got every problem wrong on the Entry Task. I told my self that I was horrible and I sucked in math and I will never go to WSU (My dream college). Shortly after that moment, I felt a sharp stinging pain in my chest, near my heart, and I got incredibly dizzy. After the period ended, I walked to the school library, and sat and read my book.
Third period was pretty fun, I love my English class, because I am the smartest student in the class.
Fourth period, I had a quiz I didn't study for, my Japanese class, and I looked up at the wall, and saw a huge poster with all the hiragana I needed to cheat. So I cheated through the whole test, and I don't feel bad about it.
Lunch, I sat alone, and I got the stinging pain again.
Fifth period. I was sitting in Reading // Literacy Support and I was reading my book. I got to a section where my favorite character got in a fight with her boyfriend, and I got the stinging pain, but it didn't leave. I just sat there staring at the table. I was so dizzy. Then the teacher came up behind me and handed my a paper saying I had to leave at 1:50 to go see my counselor.
Before I continue the story, let me share my story.
A couple of months ago, my mother was caught by my father, having an affair with a guy named, David. Now, David is an old creep, who is a lawyer. My mother is easily distracted and attracted to men in uniform. But, I don't want to go to far into that situation. If you truly want to know, you can hit me up with a PM.
Just before 6th period, I go check in with my teacher, and walk over to my counselor's office. She greets me, and we sit. I sit with my back arched and my foot shaking. I didn't realize I started figiting that much until my counselor said:
"Looks like your anxiety is really reaching it's peak."
"Yeah."
Silence. I certainly have absolutely no social skills.
"What's bothering you?"
"My mom and dad have been drinking heavy amounts lately."
Silence. She just sits there and reads my body language. I want to be out of that room, and in my class.
"But it's alright, don't worry about me, I'm fine."
Silence.
"Lizy, your not fine."
Silence. The silence lasted for about 5 minutes. During that time I had flashbacks, and my eyes were stinging like someone splashed acid on my face.
"Lizy, are you afraid?"
I didn't answer her question. I sat and blinked the tears away, and the stinging in my chest was horrible.
She pulled out a sketch pad and coloured pencils and handed them to me. I hate doing this in counseling. Although it makes me feel better, drawing out my feelings, I don't like the feeling of someone watching me, like I am a test subject.
I felt a lot better after that. The final bell rang, and I walked to my brothers school to hangout there until he got out of school.
Once we got home, I finished a bit of my homework. The stinging came back. I ran down to my room, pulled on my neon yellow under amour hoodie, and some shorts and shouted: "I'm going for a jog!"
I ran down to the forest, and ran, and ran, and ran.
I came home and my mom ambushes me.
"Where the f*ck were you?"
I didn't answer, and I got really dizzy.
I sat down. and she stood right over me,
"You are such a disapointment of a daughter. LOOK AT ME!" I looked at her with tears filling my eyes. "Why did you only tell your father and not me?!"
I looked down at the ground, and she walked into the kitchen. I walked over to my dad's room where he was watching the news.
"How was your jog?"
"Good."
I started figiting with my shorts. 2-3 days ago, my parents were drunk, and I couldn't handle it anymore, grabbed a kitchen knife, ran to the bathroom, sat on the toilet, and went to town on my thigh.
"What happened to your leg?"
"Nothing."
"Lift up your shorts again."
"No, it's nothing."
"Lizy."
"I was running through the forest and the road got narrow and I fell into a bush." I stormed out of the room, and the stinging was back. Dinner was at the table, cold.
"Why do you love your father more than I?"
This kept on through the night. Here I am, sitting at my laptop. No one to talk to. My mom left, and I doubt she'd be back for a while. My dad is laying on his bed, watching TV.
Thanks for listening!
This morning, I was sitting in science, and got a little bit of a head ache. I thought it was nothing, so I went through first period with it.
Second period, we were doing math, and I REALLY struggle in Algebra. I was sitting in class, and I got every problem wrong on the Entry Task. I told my self that I was horrible and I sucked in math and I will never go to WSU (My dream college). Shortly after that moment, I felt a sharp stinging pain in my chest, near my heart, and I got incredibly dizzy. After the period ended, I walked to the school library, and sat and read my book.
Third period was pretty fun, I love my English class, because I am the smartest student in the class.
Fourth period, I had a quiz I didn't study for, my Japanese class, and I looked up at the wall, and saw a huge poster with all the hiragana I needed to cheat. So I cheated through the whole test, and I don't feel bad about it.
Lunch, I sat alone, and I got the stinging pain again.
Fifth period. I was sitting in Reading // Literacy Support and I was reading my book. I got to a section where my favorite character got in a fight with her boyfriend, and I got the stinging pain, but it didn't leave. I just sat there staring at the table. I was so dizzy. Then the teacher came up behind me and handed my a paper saying I had to leave at 1:50 to go see my counselor.
Before I continue the story, let me share my story.
A couple of months ago, my mother was caught by my father, having an affair with a guy named, David. Now, David is an old creep, who is a lawyer. My mother is easily distracted and attracted to men in uniform. But, I don't want to go to far into that situation. If you truly want to know, you can hit me up with a PM.
Just before 6th period, I go check in with my teacher, and walk over to my counselor's office. She greets me, and we sit. I sit with my back arched and my foot shaking. I didn't realize I started figiting that much until my counselor said:
"Looks like your anxiety is really reaching it's peak."
"Yeah."
Silence. I certainly have absolutely no social skills.
"What's bothering you?"
"My mom and dad have been drinking heavy amounts lately."
Silence. She just sits there and reads my body language. I want to be out of that room, and in my class.
"But it's alright, don't worry about me, I'm fine."
Silence.
"Lizy, your not fine."
Silence. The silence lasted for about 5 minutes. During that time I had flashbacks, and my eyes were stinging like someone splashed acid on my face.
"Lizy, are you afraid?"
I didn't answer her question. I sat and blinked the tears away, and the stinging in my chest was horrible.
She pulled out a sketch pad and coloured pencils and handed them to me. I hate doing this in counseling. Although it makes me feel better, drawing out my feelings, I don't like the feeling of someone watching me, like I am a test subject.
I felt a lot better after that. The final bell rang, and I walked to my brothers school to hangout there until he got out of school.
Once we got home, I finished a bit of my homework. The stinging came back. I ran down to my room, pulled on my neon yellow under amour hoodie, and some shorts and shouted: "I'm going for a jog!"
I ran down to the forest, and ran, and ran, and ran.
I came home and my mom ambushes me.
"Where the f*ck were you?"
I didn't answer, and I got really dizzy.
I sat down. and she stood right over me,
"You are such a disapointment of a daughter. LOOK AT ME!" I looked at her with tears filling my eyes. "Why did you only tell your father and not me?!"
I looked down at the ground, and she walked into the kitchen. I walked over to my dad's room where he was watching the news.
"How was your jog?"
"Good."
I started figiting with my shorts. 2-3 days ago, my parents were drunk, and I couldn't handle it anymore, grabbed a kitchen knife, ran to the bathroom, sat on the toilet, and went to town on my thigh.
"What happened to your leg?"
"Nothing."
"Lift up your shorts again."
"No, it's nothing."
"Lizy."
"I was running through the forest and the road got narrow and I fell into a bush." I stormed out of the room, and the stinging was back. Dinner was at the table, cold.
"Why do you love your father more than I?"
This kept on through the night. Here I am, sitting at my laptop. No one to talk to. My mom left, and I doubt she'd be back for a while. My dad is laying on his bed, watching TV.
Thanks for listening!
