I told my brother's girlfriend to abort her fetus

[Angry LI ISSUES]

Not necessarily

Here's my story:

There was a dinner being in the living room with my parents, my younger sister (20), my brother (32) and his girlfriend of 11 years? (she's 27). I was surprised by this sudden family ordeal of a reunion so I serve myself a plate and sat down with the others. My parent's say that my oldest brother has great news ( I'm the only one who doesn't know what it is yet). My brother and his girlfriend are expecting another baby,

My brother: "We're having a second child!"
Me looking at the girlfriend: "I'm really disappointed."
Bro: "WHAT? Why would you ******** say that. We want another child."
Me: *I try not to start any argument because my 8 yr old nephew is in the room* "Because you lack the parenting skills needed to support it and look at how your relationship reflects on DJ (my nephew). Abort while you still can."

My brother throws a hissy fit and my parents tell me I was tremendously rude. I took my plate to my room and that was it. We haven't spoken since that day, it's been 2 months now. My parents, everyone, knows how bad it is of the decision they made. They don't say anything because it's "none of their business but my brother's and gf".

My brother's relationship is not the best kind. It's terrible that screams of abuse, physical and verbal, they are the worst kind of relationship out there. They are merely together for the child who also has trouble of communicating and such. They're relationship is completely toxic and it's depressing my nephew is in the middle of it.

So, I found out today they are fighting again. She's about 3-4 months in and my brother is ready to move out. Note that "moving out" means him leaving, then coming back a couple weeks later. He isn't the best parent either, he's too harsh on my nephew. However, I cannot call CPS because he has a roof over his head.


Was I wrong to tell them that they lack emotional and financial support for another child? I hate paying taxes for people such as them. It upsets me how the american system works out here?

Anyone share the same personal experience?

[Fading Fantasma]

No..but what what reaction did you expect?
Its their lives not matter how ******** up it is. If they wanna dig themselves deeper in to a ditch,then so be it.
You can call CPS on them if you feel like your nephew is being neglected or if there is some type of verbal abuse going on.

[Angry LI ISSUES]

french cafe scene

lol i hope this is just to get a rise out of people because wow would you be a massive b***h if this was true

it's not sad

[Shark Bacon]

Lmao you are so rude. You keep that s**t to yourself.

[Petrograd]

Fading Fantasma

You can call CPS on them if you feel like your nephew is being neglected or if there is some type of verbal abuse going on.

This!

If they're not bad enough for CPS it's not much you can do.

That said, money going to help cover a child's care is a pretty good target for MY taxpayer money, so idk why you complain there.

(Dunno if it's any comfort, but it's not likely you've paid more in tax than you've cost so far, assuming you are under the age of 30.)

[Girl With The Windex Eyes]

Um, just because your nephew has a roof over his head doesn't mean you can't call cps. If he is being neglected and abused you should do so.

Adoption is the best option if someone can't take care of their child. A person is a person no matter what stage of life.

[shooshpaps]

You went too far with your opinion. Your parents are right in saying that what's going on is between your brother and his girlfriend. If you truly believe your nephew is in danger, you can easily call CPS. Having a roof over his head isn't going to deter them. My cousin lied and told his entire school that his mother beat him and she ended up with CPS at her doorstep to "interview her", and he had a roof over his head. A doctor called CPS on my mother because they thought she was beating me (which she wasn't), and regardless of me having a roof over my head, CPS visited my mother. They WILL take action and decide for themselves how much danger your nephew is in. A roof over his head is no excuse not to call.

That said, do that instead of waiting until a family dinner to blast your opinion around. You think you're making the right decision for your nephew, but you just exposed him to a conversation he didn't really need, on top of all the s**t you say his parents do. Talk to them in private.

You don't just tell a person to abort their child because you think they're an unfit parent. That choice is theirs to make, so I don't blame them for being upset with you.

[Toxilicks]

I wish my cousin aborted after she reached three children. She passed her eldest to his biological dad's mother when they couldn't afford the trailer they were in, she's practically got their fourth kid addicted to pain killers, and the fifth one has been graced with the unfortunate name "Charnce" because it is my cousin's "Last chance".
I'm not kidding you.

[The Ice Dervish]

I highly doubt anyone will share your exact personal experience.

While I agree unfit parents should not make more kids to ******** up, saying this to someone is bound to illicit a negative response.

[RyaZombie]

You should have told them in private instead of at the dinner table.

[Raven Winter]

Kinda shitty to do it in front of people, particularly the kid.

[I Shall Give You NoMercy]

unpopular opinion here but I think you did the right thing.
If they honestly can't handle one child, what makes them them think they can handle another? But your brother and his gf both sound like a selfish idiots, and now their future children are going to pay for it.
Going by your post he also sounds abusive...?
If so, ******** him their are enough shitty parents in the world, we don't need any more goddammit.

Maybe they'll somehow magically mature once they realize how hard it is to raise two kids...but I doubt it, you tried your best to warn them, it's their own damn fault for not listening.

[The Neon Paradox]

Yes, sorta. My fiance's brother (who's 20) is expecting a sprog with his much older girlfriend (28, something like that I think). This baby was conceived so she can still claim benefits. She had disability benefits taken away (because funny enough she is not disabled) so they had another baby. So basically she's a welfare scrounger.

She already has two kids (both different fathers, neither are my fiance's brother) and those kids are dragged up, not raised. They are little ******** for lack of better words. No stability, no discipline, I could go on. The house they live in is a state, because all she does is sit on her a** and watch TV.

None of the family said much about it, my future mother in law just repeatedly said 'you cannot afford a baby' and no one has congratulated them,even now when its due to be born sometime next month. We all just ignore him, her and the impending sprog.
I personally go further, I don't think its his kid at all. She's a bike...

I feel for the kids, I really do. I wish the state would just force the implant on women like her.
Stop bringing kids into this world you don't give a s**t about for short term financial gain emotion_facepalm

[Rand Shieldmouse]

Sadly enough there are people who shouldn't have children who do. Over and over again. My older brother is a perfect example of this. He and his wife are alcoholic potheads who are living in her parent's house because neither of them is capable of working a steady job for long. Keep in mind, my brother was one of the most intelligent people I knew before he allowed this creature (his wife) into his life, and she took over, like a parasite. She uses their child for attention, and an excuse not to have to work, even though they are on government assistance. They do NOT make good parents, and it was at least two years before I spoke to my brother because I was not supportive of him having a child, and was not going to pretend that I think his son is the most wonderful thing ever. I know they are going to be trying for a second child, because she wants one.

All that being said, it is not my decision if they have a child or a whole slew of them. It annoys me that they are bringing up a child in a condition that is not very suitable for doing so, but there is nothing I can do about it. And to be honest, cutting myself off from my brother has also cut me off from my nephew. My parents don't understand why I won't have contact with my brother and bother me about it ALL the time. I doubt my brother even understands why I don't make an effort to have any contact with him. He did recently try to re-establish contact, but as he did not call yesterday like he promised he was going to, I believe that his effort was short lived.

You have a choice to make here. You can either stay strong in your resolution that they should not have another child, and cut them from your life, or you can accept the child as a victim of circumstance, and show it love and affection it likely is not going to be getting at home.