I'm tired...

[FuyuWaffle]

Ever since I was born, I was always a shy girl. I have problems talking to other people, and I feel I can't keep a conversation for a long period of time.
Things grew worse when I was bullied in school. In grades 1 through 11, I was bullied, however it was worse in middle school.
The bullying was so bad that in the eighth grade, I wrote a suicide note. The school's counselor found out and called my mom, so when I came home, my mom, sister, and brother tried to make me feel better.
They did, but even after that incident, I was still bullied. I also experienced multiple heartbreaks and rejections and lost multiple friends. I know I still have my parents, siblings, and my true friends, but... I still feel alone sometimes, even when I'm not. I could be with lots of friends and family, and I'll still feel out of place.
I want to break out of my shyness, but I think negatively about myself because I was brought down by others. I'm also the type who bottles up their negative emotions until they explode. If I felt like crying, I would wait until I was alone, unless I couldn't hold in my tears and cried in front of others.
I know that's not healthy, but I can't help it.
I'm also afraid to do a lot of things in front of people, because I'm afraid I'll be judged.
I know I shouldn't worry about what other people think of me, but... I just want to be liked for who I am. I want people to completely understand me, but... I just shut myself away because I'm scared I'll lose distance with them.

I'm just venting, I'm sorry...

[drasmyrian]

Have you tried taking up a new hobby? That way you can focus on the hobby itself, and then gradually ease yourself into the social side of it as and when you feel more comfortable. Re-enacting did wonders for my shyness (I too was bullied for the better part of my school-attending age, although never to the point of suicide, but we did move house to get away from it); I had found something that allowed me to use my enthusiasm and interest to overcome my low self-esteem.

[FuyuWaffle]

drasmyrian

Have you tried taking up a new hobby? That way you can focus on the hobby itself, and then gradually ease yourself into the social side of it as and when you feel more comfortable. Re-enacting did wonders for my shyness (I too was bullied for the better part of my school-attending age, although never to the point of suicide, but we did move house to get away from it); I had found something that allowed me to use my enthusiasm and interest to overcome my low self-esteem.

I do want to get into something dealing with art.
I've written a few (unfinished) stories, and drew some things. I even took two cooking classes in my senior year of high school.
I'm not that good though.

[Sugar Wulf]

Angelliya

I can relate to you. I've always been a shy person and I still am here and there now and it gets in my way of being social. I think It's always nice to have talkative people around you to make you talk more.. I've had some people like that but unfortunately people leave. I wish I could get out of my comfort zone but it's really difficult also Honestly people are constantly judging no matter what you do and yes it sucks.. we all get judged. Just do you do things you like and as time goes by you'll open up more.

[FuyuWaffle]

T H A 0

Angelliya

I can relate to you. I've always been a shy person and I still am here and there now and it gets in my way of being social. I think It's always nice to have talkative people around you to make you talk more.. I've had some people like that but unfortunately people leave. I wish I could get out of my comfort zone but it's really difficult also Honestly people are constantly judging no matter what you do and yes it sucks.. we all get judged. Just do you do things you like and as time goes by you'll open up more.

I hope so.
I hate feeling this way, especially since I know I shouldn't.

[Sugar Wulf]

Angelliya

T H A 0

Angelliya

I can relate to you. I've always been a shy person and I still am here and there now and it gets in my way of being social. I think It's always nice to have talkative people around you to make you talk more.. I've had some people like that but unfortunately people leave. I wish I could get out of my comfort zone but it's really difficult also Honestly people are constantly judging no matter what you do and yes it sucks.. we all get judged. Just do you do things you like and as time goes by you'll open up more.

I hope so.
I hate feeling this way, especially since I know I shouldn't.

Don't be too worried about being shy. I remember I use to be super shy in middle school... i always needed someone to come up and just stand/sit by me for presentations. I admit I'm still get nervous now but i've improve over time. But I'm more of anti-social now than shy.

[FuyuWaffle]

T H A 0

Angelliya

T H A 0

Angelliya

I can relate to you. I've always been a shy person and I still am here and there now and it gets in my way of being social. I think It's always nice to have talkative people around you to make you talk more.. I've had some people like that but unfortunately people leave. I wish I could get out of my comfort zone but it's really difficult also Honestly people are constantly judging no matter what you do and yes it sucks.. we all get judged. Just do you do things you like and as time goes by you'll open up more.

I hope so.
I hate feeling this way, especially since I know I shouldn't.

Don't be too worried about being shy. I remember I use to be super shy in middle school... i always needed someone to come up and just stand/sit by me for presentations. I admit I'm still get nervous now but i've improve over time. But I'm more of anti-social now than shy.

I need people I feel close too around me as well.
I would sometimes get bad grades because I didn't participate a lot.
My mom told me to try, but I was just too afraid.
When my teachers called on me to read or answer a question, I would immediately feel embarrassed and I just wanted to hide.
I'll try not to be worried now...

[Sugar Wulf]

Angelliya

T H A 0

Angelliya

T H A 0

Angelliya

I can relate to you. I've always been a shy person and I still am here and there now and it gets in my way of being social. I think It's always nice to have talkative people around you to make you talk more.. I've had some people like that but unfortunately people leave. I wish I could get out of my comfort zone but it's really difficult also Honestly people are constantly judging no matter what you do and yes it sucks.. we all get judged. Just do you do things you like and as time goes by you'll open up more.

I hope so.
I hate feeling this way, especially since I know I shouldn't.

Don't be too worried about being shy. I remember I use to be super shy in middle school... i always needed someone to come up and just stand/sit by me for presentations. I admit I'm still get nervous now but i've improve over time. But I'm more of anti-social now than shy.

I need people I feel close too around me as well.
I would sometimes get bad grades because I didn't participate a lot.
My mom told me to try, but I was just too afraid.
When my teachers called on me to read or answer a question, I would immediately feel embarrassed and I just wanted to hide.
I'll try not to be worried now...

Don't rush it, if you really want people you'll meet good friends soon or later.
And yeah same. I get plently of F's and 0's put in for not participating but I try to make up my grade by doing the homework or good on tests.

[FuyuWaffle]

T H A 0

Don't rush it, if you really want people you'll meet good friends soon or later.
And yeah same. I get plently of F's and 0's put in for not participating but I try to make up my grade by doing the homework or good on tests.

I'll try to be patient.
Thank you for your advice. It made me feel a little better.

[drasmyrian]

Angelliya

drasmyrian

Have you tried taking up a new hobby? That way you can focus on the hobby itself, and then gradually ease yourself into the social side of it as and when you feel more comfortable. Re-enacting did wonders for my shyness (I too was bullied for the better part of my school-attending age, although never to the point of suicide, but we did move house to get away from it); I had found something that allowed me to use my enthusiasm and interest to overcome my low self-esteem.

I do want to get into something dealing with art.
I've written a few (unfinished) stories, and drew some things. I even took two cooking classes in my senior year of high school.
I'm not that good though.

The whole point of classes are to improve, are they not? Cooking might be something fun to look into, as with the art.

[FuyuWaffle]

drasmyrian

The whole point of classes are to improve, are they not? Cooking might be something fun to look into, as with the art.

I don't take classes anymore though.
I graduated, but I can still practice at home.

[drasmyrian]

Angelliya

drasmyrian

The whole point of classes are to improve, are they not? Cooking might be something fun to look into, as with the art.

I don't take classes anymore though.
I graduated, but I can still practice at home.

True. What I meant by hobby was more like, something that you go to weekly or fortnightly to do, with other people.

[FuyuWaffle]

drasmyrian

True. What I meant by hobby was more like, something that you go to weekly or fortnightly to do, with other people.

Oh.
Like board or card games?
I used to play those with my siblings.

[drasmyrian]

Angelliya

drasmyrian

True. What I meant by hobby was more like, something that you go to weekly or fortnightly to do, with other people.

Oh.
Like board or card games?
I used to play those with my siblings.

That's one idea, yes!

[FuyuWaffle]

drasmyrian

That's one idea, yes!

I'll start playing those again.
Thank you. biggrin