I found my ex's blog and want to talk to her :/

[b 3 l l s i 3]

soooo about four years ago my ex best friend and I stopped talking because I was ENTIRELY MISLED about a situation and got upset at her because of it. We dated like twice before that and we just started talking again so it really wasn't a great situation...

Four years ago I was a depressed, not-self-confident person that had suicidal inclinations, most of which I have recovered from to become confident. I cut out the person that misled me and no longer talk to them as well.

I feel like this would at the very least help me get some closure (the incident itself was very draining and I loved her very much as a friend, so if she doesn't want to be friends I'd love to know because it's just one of those big what-ifs) and gain peace with myself for this incident (which I do widely regard as my fault... because it was. I used to be terrible at communicating)

But (the big but) is I'm incredibly anxious about it, and I don't want to just waltz in and be like 'yo I found your blog and thought you might want to talk to me LOL'. And I want to be prepped in case she just says 'who the ******** are you' or something equally dismissive (which to be fair, is a fair reaction).

tl;dr I want to talk to my ex (as a friend) about what happened 4 years ago. how do I do it.

[legnanellaf5]

You dont need closure. I always find that people say 'closure' when they mean 'trying to find a reason to dig up the past'. It was 4 years ago, you have changed since then and you cut out the toxic person. That was your closure. So to bring it up now that you found your ex, you have to be honest about what you are doing, which is selfish. You want to see if you can talk to her not for her feelings but yours, because YOU want 'peace' over a situation long past, and you want to have friends.

Is there really any reason to think she would want to talk to you? Has she wrote on the blog that she regrets the past or something? It also depends on how bad the ending was, because how bad it is would determine the chances of her wanting to talk to you at all.

[Nurse Kipsie]

Hi, I'm kinda lost...
Explain how the blog greatly involves the issues with your ex.

If the blog is not significant or relevant to your friendship issues, then it would simply be a conversation starter.

Also, did you find this blog by accident? I ask because the internet is a very large system of data...

[Luna Legend]

I wouldn't do it if I were you. Sometimes the past needs to stay in the past, even if that means never achieving true "closure". People change, and they move on. If you do try and contact her again, you might be very disappointed with the result. Best to just leave things as they are.

[Atomic Bride]

I kind of agree with everyone else that you should probably just leave this alone, but that's a hard thing to do once you really get the urge to talk to an old friend, or ex.

You should write out what you want to say in an e-mail or message and send it to her. That way you can explain what you did wrong, get everything off your chest, and the ball will be in her court for her to decide if she wants to talk to you again. That way there also wont be that awkwardness if she tries to dismiss you, or things don't go so well.