i feel like a time bomb

[CandyAppleRose]

my best friend that i live with was in a car accident
the car was flipped over and she had to be pulled out
the car caught on fire and is toast
she is okay but I'm still in shock about it
i haven't talked to her about it yet she
is at a mutual friends house updating them
and her boyfriend is their for her

i think my purse was in the car but I don't
really care about that but its all i can talk
about because talking about what could
have happened to her is too hard and I don't want
to cry....
since i found out i have felt his coldness
in my chest and now I have a cough

I know how this works with me i won't be able
to cry for several days I'll eat and sleep little to none
till I just go off like a bomb at some point and then
feel really guilty about it

for my whole life death just seems to have always
just been right around the corner peeking out a couple
times a year just to make sure I know how close it is

[Nikias Kicxette]

You need to talk to your friend. Doing what you're doing is not a good thing, for you or for her.

Only talking about your purse makes it look like you don't care about her. Bottling up your true feelings until you make yourself sick, just because you don't want to cry, is stupid.

Just feel what you naturally feel! It's okay and perfectly normal to be emotionally vulnerable at times; it isn't something you need to desperately distract from by talking about unimportant things. If you're upset, be upset. Cry. Feel bad. Get it out and be honest with yourself. Your friend will appreciate knowing how much you really care about her, and you'll be better off having allowed yourself an emotional release.

[MadQuilterGemini]

After being in both positions in this situation...
Talk with her. Talk with her boyfriend too.

Why?
You all are VERY close to this situaion, you're all scared. You ALL need support from each other and TO support each other.

Bottled emotions cause mental stress, mentality changes and those can really cause physical harm. Stress can also make you VERY sick. It raises blood pressure which can lead to stroke, heart problems or worse.

Crying is part of life.
Pain, laughter, happiness, sadness, scary situations, shock etc. Crying releases stress along with some kind of bodily chemical that can help you bond.

"Men don't cry" is BS
"Big girls don't cry" is BS.

Weddings, funerals, births, big events that are you are IMMENSLY grateful for (That you're friend is alright)...Crying happens, it is NOT weakness.

She needs you and her bf
Her bf is there for her but needs some support,
you need her, her bf is someone also in your situation so it would be good to bond with him.

I hope this makes sense and helps for you and others in this kind of tough situation.
~Hugs are offered~

[CandyAppleRose]

I couldn't bring myself to cry.
But last night I talked to her and
her bf she had some friends over
and we had a party talking about
how thankful we are that she is
okay. She seemed a little in shock
at first but with everyone around her she
seems like normal.
We got her pizza and cake she loves
food so that really perked her up.

[MadQuilterGemini]

CandyAppleRose

I couldn't bring myself to cry.
But last night I talked to her and
her bf she had some friends over
and we had a party talking about
how thankful we are that she is
okay. She seemed a little in shock
at first but with everyone around her she
seems like normal.
We got her pizza and cake she loves
food so that really perked her up.

I am so glad for this. But it's important to let her know one on one how glad you are. It will feel more genuine to her. She may or may not confide in you. Some people hide how they feel, like you were doing, or just don't know how to calm the swirling storm(s).

This was a great first step.