i dont get it, why do i feel calm *updated*

[tamskii]

update:
its been several hours now (about 6-7) and shes only going into the interview now
im terrified what shes being accused for is legit
how am i going to be able to stay with someone who could have a life sentance for 15+years?
________________________________________________________________________________

my girlfriend has just been sent to the police station on allegations that she has been involved with beastiality and *****
but i feel calm and im not panicking, why do i feel like this?
is there anything specific i should be doing? im not sure if im pushing my emotions aside, of course i dont want this to be happening but i still feel calm
if it helps, i have an acheing pain just below my stomach, and my hands are a bit clammy
the police officers interviewed me this morning, and i was even calm then
idk if you can find some clarification as to why im not freaking out or what i should be doing

at the moment im just sort of colouring/drawing and finishing off college work
my girlfriends mum also just brought me energy drinks
im not sure why this is relevant but y'know

also idk i feel selfish for saying this, but if it does come back that these allegations are true then i dont know if i should break up with her or not
i love her, but i dont know if i can cope with that or if she can either
cos i know she'd commit suicide if i left because of that, because she would have nobody
and i get that things like that are wrong but i still love her but i have to think about my health and sanity too
im more confused than anything i think?
but still calm-ish

[legnanellaf5]

If it is true, break up. Becausde that is cray. But there isnt much you can do with it because you did your part with the interviews, you cant really change what is happening.

If she is going to kill herself, call the cops. Dont stay with someone because of suicide threats.

[tamskii]

legnanellaf5

If it is true, break up. Becausde that is cray. But there isnt much you can do with it because you did your part with the interviews, you cant really change what is happening.

If she is going to kill herself, call the cops. Dont stay with someone because of suicide threats.

haha hey again, i remember you helped me with my last topic
its not really me staying with her because of suicide threats, she's never once threatened me thats the thing.
but i do know that this could emotionally and physically destroy her and i know that that could definitely lead to suicide
and the road to recovery is going to be very long and draining and thats why im not sure if i should stay

[legnanellaf5]

tamskii

legnanellaf5

If it is true, break up. Becausde that is cray. But there isnt much you can do with it because you did your part with the interviews, you cant really change what is happening.

If she is going to kill herself, call the cops. Dont stay with someone because of suicide threats.

haha hey again, i remember you helped me with my last topic
its not really me staying with her because of suicide threats, she's never once threatened me thats the thing.
but i do know that this could emotionally and physically destroy her and i know that that could definitely lead to suicide
and the road to recovery is going to be very long and draining and thats why im not sure if i should stay

If you are iffy about it atm then that itself a sign that you dont really want to stay. Like the morally responsible option is to stay, but it also isnt something you have to do if you dont wanna. You can leave at any time and leavign now vs leaving a bit later doesnt change how people would view it really.

If you arent built to deal with the long haul, it is better to end it now than to suffer and then end it part way through. The aftermath isnt your responsbility.

[tamskii]

legnanellaf5

tamskii

legnanellaf5

If it is true, break up. Becausde that is cray. But there isnt much you can do with it because you did your part with the interviews, you cant really change what is happening.

If she is going to kill herself, call the cops. Dont stay with someone because of suicide threats.

haha hey again, i remember you helped me with my last topic
its not really me staying with her because of suicide threats, she's never once threatened me thats the thing.
but i do know that this could emotionally and physically destroy her and i know that that could definitely lead to suicide
and the road to recovery is going to be very long and draining and thats why im not sure if i should stay

If you are iffy about it atm then that itself a sign that you dont really want to stay. Like the morally responsible option is to stay, but it also isnt something you have to do if you dont wanna. You can leave at any time and leavign now vs leaving a bit later doesnt change how people would view it really.

If you arent built to deal with the long haul, it is better to end it now than to suffer and then end it part way through. The aftermath isnt your responsbility.

thats very true
thankyou, i appreciate that
i think i'll give myself a bit more time to think about it and see what she says when she comes back
then i'll make my judgment 3nodding

[Viviane_neechan]

I get the same way when I discover something really shocking and horrible--I think you just need time to process this information, and your brain will likely deal with it at a later time in an emotionally-appropriate way. 3nodding

[tamskii]

*update*
its been several hours, and shes only going into being interviewed now
im terrified what shes being accused for is legit
what do i do

[fubenkunai]

tamskii

*update*
its been several hours, and shes only going into being interviewed now
im terrified what shes being accused for is legit
what do i do

Take some deep breaths and think about what will be helpful to you. It's okay if you don't want to talk to anyone you know about this yet; you don't know if any of the accusations are true, and you're still processing. But if talking would help, do that. If listening to calm music helps, do that. Some people like to distract themselves by keeping busy, while some people prefer to meditate. Basically, self-care is your number-one right now. You have a lot going on, and everything is very uncertain right now. Take care of yourself so that when the next step comes, you're fortified and supported.

[vdszbz]

I don't blame you for wanting to leave. I wouldn't date a guy who did that either. It would disgust me, especially the ***** part, which is hurting and destroying the lives of innocent children.

Why is she being accused? Do you think she actually did it or?

[GehirnToture]

Sounds like you are in shock.
Can you really stay with somebody who did those these? Do you WANT to stay with somebody who did those things? Think about YOURSELF. She is capable of taking care of herself. If she harms herself "because you left" don't feel pressured into staying. There are plenty of resources for her to get help, I'm sure. Depending on somebody so much isn't healthy.

[LynnFall]

I don't think anyone can tell you how to feel. It's okay to be calm if that's how you feel, it's okay to terrified, upset, nervous, empty, etc. You can still care about/love someone even if you don't want to be with them. If you can't see yourself being with her if the allegations are true, then don't. Even if they're not true, I would still be a bit cautious, just for your own sake.

If it were me in your shoes I'd probably run, but this is your decision.