I don't know what to think...

[Amy Arsonist]

Xxblood_drainerxX

Amy Arsonist

I think it's mainly because I do still have feelings for him. Also, he told me once after almost breaking up with me that he'd really rather not break up with me but he can't handle me talking about it so much. He has gotten better about listening to me on the issue too, and sort of admitted he did something wrong recently so that another reason why. I'm also a little scared of hurting him and myself.

If it's a bad relationship, no amount of feelings with make it better. You actually need more than love.

" Also, he told me once after almost breaking up with me that he'd really rather not break up with me but he can't handle me talking about it so much."

That sounds incredibly manipulative. It's obviously an issue to you, and he's not considering your emotion about it at all, and using your relationship as a tool to ignore discussing the problem all together. The fact that he threatens breaking up with you to avoid the topic, and has done so multiple times (by the sounds of it) leads me to believe he knows you aren't going to dump him, and will use this card to get what he wants and gain the upper hand in arguments. That's incredibly hurtful.

Sort of admitting really doesn't mean anything. If he full on admitted you were both wrong in this scenario and apologized for his part, that's one thing. Somewhat admitting sounds half assed and he did it to make you stop bothering him about it.

It sounds like you're going to get more hurt out of this relationship before it's over. You don't sound like you trust him. He won't talk to you about it so you can fully trust him again. This is just something that's going to fester.

All this, and I haven't even touched the subject about him asking a girl for a naked picture. Trust me, guys don't typically joke when they ask for one. They pretend they're joking, but are secretly hoping she'll comply. I would bet money he didn't stop talking to her because you were hurt, but because she was offended he asked for a tit picture. He hid it because he knew it was wrong, not because he didn't want you to be hurt. If he was concerned for your feelings, he wouldn't have done it in the first place.

I'm not trying to be mean or make you more paranoid. But this entire situation just sounds bad and I'm not getting the sense you trust your boyfriend, or that he's even trust worthy.

[Xxblood_drainerxX]

Amy Arsonist

Everything you said is exactly whats pushing me towards ending it. I feel like he doesn't actually care for my feelings, and I feel like I've lost any trust I had with him. Any time I'm not with him anymore or when he with me and texting someone else I get extremely paranoid and want to know what he's doing etc. I just don't think I can actually be the one who ends the relationship, I don't think I have it in me.

[Like Totally Not A Mule]

And yet you have it in you to hurt more when it ends and be unhappy in a relationship?

O.o

[Amy Arsonist]

Xxblood_drainerxX

Amy Arsonist

Everything you said is exactly whats pushing me towards ending it. I feel like he doesn't actually care for my feelings, and I feel like I've lost any trust I had with him. Any time I'm not with him anymore or when he with me and texting someone else I get extremely paranoid and want to know what he's doing etc. I just don't think I can actually be the one who ends the relationship, I don't think I have it in me.

I really hope you find it in you to break up with him, if that's what you decide would be best. You really don't sound happy in the relationship, and you deserve to be. You deserve to be with someone you know cares about your feelings and can trust.

There's no reason to stay with someone you're not happy with and can't trust.

[Xxblood_drainerxX]

Amy Arsonist

Like Totally Not A Mule

You both have a point... and I guess all I can do is think this over and try to convince myself it's best if I end this. I'm not completely miserable with him, I'm still happy with him, just, every once in awhile things get sour with him or I start thinking about this incident again and I don't think I can just let i go, nor can I be with someone who doesn't seem to care about me.

[.x. jaded .x.]

sweatdrop My first reaction was scream NO HE CAN'T BE TRUSTED HE'S A DOG but I have had a lot of bad experiences with men. What bothers me the most is his reaction. While it was wrong of you to snoop, his reaction for it was a little overblown. A lot of my friend's relationships and past relationships are really open about phone/email usage. Sometimes it's not smart (like when really private financial or work info is involved) but in general, i used to be able to go through my bf's phone whenever I wanted. I wasn't particularly searching for anything but he was always open about it (like oh hey i'm expecting an email but i can't take my phone to work let me know if i get it) or something like that. or 'hey i need you to search my inbox for something i need the info but i'm not at a computer' things like that. In the end its your own decision but I think he's given you enough reasons not to trust him.

[Xxblood_drainerxX]

.x. jaded .x.

He's done things like that a couple of times, tell me to do something for him on fb or his email, or even text people for him. He used to even just let me use his phone when I wanted to cause it has internet. But then he got really weird about his phone, telling me not to go through it and stuff. That's why I looked through his phone in the first place cause it really seemed like he was hiding something. In the end he actually was.

[Nova Mistral]

I've known plenty of guys on the internet who say s**t like that, intended as jokes. They're usually horny guys, but nevertheless . . . I wouldn't doubt that it was just a joke, but it's perfectly natural if you feel uncomfortable with it, too. I don't think it's too out there to request that he doesn't say things like that to other girls. If he's irrational about it and getting angry and even threatening to break up, it's a pretty big warning sign that maybe you two aren't meant for each other. At the very least, it shows he can't compromise. Whatever tactic you've been using to talk to him so far, try a different one. Maybe there's a better way to get through to him without him immediately exploding. You can let this be your last talk before making a final decision about your relationship - and it is ultimately up to you. You should be able to have a relationship where you can actually talk about things.

[Taiora Dream]

Ok my two cents.

Since lots of people said you shouldn't be snooping around, it shows you don't trust him blah blah. Well, imo, I don't see anything wrong with being curious. However, I think this depends on the person. Some people don't care about their bf/gf flipping their phone, some are naturally more privacy conscious. I think what carries more weight is what he usually does, and what he does now, if you say he used to let you flip his phone and stuff, I think it is a serious red light with how he reacted.

Personally if I were you, I would seriously consider whether the relationship is worth going forward. I have a philosophy, and that is , "if you are cheating, and I can actually find evidence, that means you don't care about losing me." It is really that simple. If you bf says he care about you, what was he thinking when he asked for a tit pic? Where was his "care" when he was flirting with another girl on the phone? Also, if he asked for a tit pic, then prepare for the worst, man up and face the worst consequences possible. Honestly, the day I flirt with another man, is the day I don't even care about my current relationship anymore.

So conclusion:

1. you bf either don't care, or,
2. he takes you for granted.

Well... eff both.