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                      Why do people have suicidal thoughts?

                      I do.
                      I also hear voices, cry a lot, get shaky, convulse, get angry and scream, become incoherent..

                      How do I help myself. I'm on medication, but it just doesn't seem to help.
                      I've tried writing in Journals, I use Gaia as an outlet, Crochet, do puzzles, write, listen to music. And sometimes it works, but mostly it doesn't.
                      I need help. I have an appt with my therapist today, but she makes me angry a lot, and my mom was able to get me an earlier appt with my psychiatrist, but that isn't until the 10th of Oct. So I have to continue this medicine until then.
                      I'm going crazy. I feel like I'm loosing myself. But I scared to admit myself.
                      I know that my illness hurts my mom and husband, not that I'm physical, I'm not, it's just they don't really get it and I don't know how to explain it to them.

                      It's like I'm sinking deeper, spiraling into an abyss of darkness that just wants to swallow me up. The voices are horrible, and when I try to fight them it only gets worse. I don't know what to do anymore. They are always there, and when they aren't speaking, I can still feel them there, lurking waiting for me to feel any happiness so they can drain it away... I just wanna curl up into a ball and cry until I fall asleep, then never wake up...
Posties's avatar

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Because they care too much, no joke.
Or they yearn for someone to care about themselves, so lack of caring.
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Posties
Because they care too much, no joke.
Or they yearn for someone to care about themselves, so lack of caring.





                      Thanks. :c
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In my own personal experience suicide and voices go hand in hand. Sometimes the humiliation can be aggravating. On a funny note, I actually talk to them back. For some odd reason they talk back, and I actually have a conversation in my head, while I do something more tangible. I just simply don't get lost in my head, and treat them like a daydream; one that goes away when I stop thinking so much. Fear is often at play too. Try imagining yourself in a daydream while you busy yourself with activities, even if they are boring, you'll get use to doing the same thing over and over again.
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AvenirLegacy
In my own personal experience suicide and voices go hand in hand. Sometimes the humiliation can be aggravating. On a funny note, I actually talk to them back. For some odd reason they talk back, and I actually have a conversation in my head, while I do something more tangible. I just simply don't get lost in my head, and treat them like a daydream; one that goes away when I stop thinking so much. Fear is often at play too. Try imagining yourself in a daydream while you busy yourself with activities, even if they are boring, you'll get use to doing the same thing over and over again.





                      Thanks. <3
Ask Jappleack's avatar

Greedy Consumer

GreatLaughter


                      Why do people have suicidal thoughts?

                      I do.
                      I also hear voices, cry a lot, get shaky, convulse, get angry and scream, become incoherent..

                      How do I help myself. I'm on medication, but it just doesn't seem to help.
                      I've tried writing in Journals, I use Gaia as an outlet, Crochet, do puzzles, write, listen to music. And sometimes it works, but mostly it doesn't.
                      I need help. I have an appt with my therapist today, but she makes me angry a lot, and my mom was able to get me an earlier appt with my psychiatrist, but that isn't until the 10th of Oct. So I have to continue this medicine until then.
                      I'm going crazy. I feel like I'm loosing myself. But I scared to admit myself.
                      I know that my illness hurts my mom and husband, not that I'm physical, I'm not, it's just they don't really get it and I don't know how to explain it to them.

                      It's like I'm sinking deeper, spiraling into an abyss of darkness that just wants to swallow me up. The voices are horrible, and when I try to fight them it only gets worse. I don't know what to do anymore. They are always there, and when they aren't speaking, I can still feel them there, lurking waiting for me to feel any happiness so they can drain it away... I just wanna curl up into a ball and cry until I fall asleep, then never wake up...
Are the voices like critics? But worse about it? There was something in psychology, I really forget what it was called, but it basically is how people who were raised verbally negatively that these things you repeat whenever you are in a similar circumstance. Deoression could cause that circumstance to be open all the time because you are always feeling shitty. Like an internal stimuli which triggers a memory, but then it perhaps got out of hand to the point of voices.
Ive been crazy before, it is unpleasant to say the least. Im not on medication, for me what triggers it is poor/unbalanced diet, lack of excersize(cardio generally, but if you dont normally excersize then you need to take it lightly at first, its better to excersize for a longer duration rather than a larger intensity anyways, just stay hydrated), lack of sunlight lack of proper sleep. Im sure a lack of a stimulating environment would do it too, something like a park perhaps if theres not much people around to cause you to worry if you would could be healthy. If you gave up activities that used to be fun try those again, and stop trying to find something wrong with it like 'i should have a better hobby so I wont do that hobby at all, or that hobby is for kids, or it promotes pollution,' etc. A proper diet does include vegetables.
Also if you have the choice to sit on your a** or help do a chore or something, try and do the chore, itll take you out of the gutter for a few moments at least, it could show you doing something is better than doing nothing.
I guess I havent heard voices before so I dont know exactly what you are going through, but from what you said and what I have experienced I could still tell you this much.

If your voices are different and more directly harmful like a very rude person who wants you to feel bad, try to understand why, dont try to communicate with the voice though because it could promote it continuing because you are responding to it. Like a kid who throws a tantrum would quickly stop if it didnt affect anyone around them in the slightest.

I am somewhat antisocial though, so perhaps consider biases related to that when you take my advice if you do. But still I did research and I did find out how to be not depressed/crazy on my own for a while. Honestly I was a little depressed today and a few days ago I was almost crazy for ten minutes. I snapped out of it by doing a zhan zhuang excersize, which is basically called a standing still excersize but it works like isometrics on your muscles I think, and it has a very healthy posture and breathing. I did adopt some of the breathing from yoga though for that pose because it was explained better, like breathing in through your nose and mouth is the deepest type of breathing, and when you breath you should give your lungs the sapce to fill up, and when you exhale you want to simply let the air push itself out of your lungs and relax your whole body on the exhale there.

I should take my advice but I wouldnt think of giving myself advice I already know lol. So it helps me also to talk to people and say what I know. Right now anyways.
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GreatLaughter


                      Why do people have suicidal thoughts?

                      I do.
                      I also hear voices, cry a lot, get shaky, convulse, get angry and scream, become incoherent..

                      How do I help myself. I'm on medication, but it just doesn't seem to help.
                      I've tried writing in Journals, I use Gaia as an outlet, Crochet, do puzzles, write, listen to music. And sometimes it works, but mostly it doesn't.
                      I need help. I have an appt with my therapist today, but she makes me angry a lot, and my mom was able to get me an earlier appt with my psychiatrist, but that isn't until the 10th of Oct. So I have to continue this medicine until then.
                      I'm going crazy. I feel like I'm loosing myself. But I scared to admit myself.
                      I know that my illness hurts my mom and husband, not that I'm physical, I'm not, it's just they don't really get it and I don't know how to explain it to them.

                      It's like I'm sinking deeper, spiraling into an abyss of darkness that just wants to swallow me up. The voices are horrible, and when I try to fight them it only gets worse. I don't know what to do anymore. They are always there, and when they aren't speaking, I can still feel them there, lurking waiting for me to feel any happiness so they can drain it away... I just wanna curl up into a ball and cry until I fall asleep, then never wake up...

Seeing as how you're married, I'll assume you're over 18 or 21, in which case the psychiatrist should be able to help you pretty well. At least wait to give that a try.
If you don't like your therapist, I recommend changing therapists. There is no point in staying with one you don't like. Find one that fits your style; otherwise, you're wasting your time.

With that, time. The psychiatrist will likely prescribe you something to help you with therapy. Their goal is usually to give you a temporary aid, not a permanent crutch. They'll give you a temporary mood enhancer or such until you discover a therapeutic aid that you can use permanently or some other form of therapy-induced mental peace.
And if they can't, maybe a permanent medication if you want it. But the point is don't think of the medication as something that prevents you from being you. Like I said, it's almost always intended to be temporary. For example, if what you need is meditation or just someone to vent to or to uncover a repressed memory or to seek forgiveness or whatever it is you need, the medication is intended to last until you discover whatever it is you need, at which point these feelings should be subsided or controllable both without medication or regular counseling meetings.

So give it time, and definitely be willing to see a large variety of people before giving up. I don't mean you have to see every doctor in town, but don't give up after the first therapist. See a handful of therapists. Maybe a handful of psychiatrists if you feel you need to; but generally psychiatry is more straight-forward and less subjective than a person-to-person therapist.
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                      We Are Organisms



                      Yes, the voices are like critics. It's hard to make them stop sometimes, it's like... like what you said, about a child throwing a tantrum. But if they don't get my attention, they keep going until they hit a nerve. The voices are what causes most of my episodes; convulsions, shakes, etc. Because once they hit that nerve I fight back in a bad way. Sometimes I do it right, and calmly start telling them that they are full of s**t. Cause honestly, they are only in my head, it's not like I'm hearing them like I would an actual person. I've been on so many medications and been to so many psychiatrists, it's not even funny. I've been wanting to start to purify my body, and since I just got a job, I'm going to join a gym. I also want to find a place around where I live that does Yoga, I know the basics, and I'm flexible enough, even though I'm more than average weight, to do quite a bit of the exercises associated with Yoga. I have a hard time getting motivated. I'm not happy about that, but that's also one of my problems, I know I shouldn't put things off, but I do. Unless I'm at work, at work, I'm on point as best as I can, it's when I get home that I lose all since of motivation. Like, today, I'm off, I don't want to do anything. >_<


                      Project Light



                      I'm 21. >_< I've been to many psychiatrists. Like..4. This one seems promising, but my favorite one was the one I was with for 4 years, the one I had in high school. I wasn't as bad then as I am now. I don't want to take medication my whole life, but sometimes I think I'll have to, cause when I'm off my medication, I'm not any better, to say the least. I've discovered a lot of reasons that I've been depressed. I've talked about them, I've vented to people, I've tried to do this, I tried to do that. I understand the time thing, I can only hope that one day, I'll be okay. That's what my husband says. "One day, you'll be okay." He also says, that if this is who I am, he'll still love me. So either way, I'll always have him... The only good thing in my life, besides my mother. I guess I should learn to count all my blessings.. not just the people.
GreatLaughter


"The mind is everything, what you THINK about, you will BECOME."- The Buddha

I'm not sure if this is the first time you've been told this, but there is a universal law present in this world which is always active- much like the law of gravity.

This universal law (known as the Law Of Attraction) determines what will show up in your life. Whatever you think about, you will attract. Our minds are magnetized by the thoughts we think throughout the day. If you think positive, good, and optimistic thoughts then invariably your life will be surrounded by good people, circumstances and events. On the contrary, people that immerse themselves with negative thoughts will attract negative things into their lives.

What you think about will manifest into physical reality through persistent thinking. If you're really interested to delve more into the subject then please inbox me (on the assumption that you don't already know this information).

Here is my suggestion, try to occupy your time with activities that make you happy. Do not concern yourself or acknowledge any form of negativity, worry, insecurity, fear, anxiety, or things of that sort. Your present thoughts from here and forever should be about happiness and anything else that will not remind you of your current conditions. Trust me, this is a universal law- I guarantee the results will be satisfactory for you.

I really do hope that I helped smile
Ask Jappleack's avatar

Greedy Consumer

GreatLaughter
                      We Are Organisms



                      Yes, the voices are like critics. It's hard to make them stop sometimes, it's like... like what you said, about a child throwing a tantrum. But if they don't get my attention, they keep going until they hit a nerve. The voices are what causes most of my episodes; convulsions, shakes, etc. Because once they hit that nerve I fight back in a bad way. Sometimes I do it right, and calmly start telling them that they are full of s**t. Cause honestly, they are only in my head, it's not like I'm hearing them like I would an actual person. I've been on so many medications and been to so many psychiatrists, it's not even funny. I've been wanting to start to purify my body, and since I just got a job, I'm going to join a gym. I also want to find a place around where I live that does Yoga, I know the basics, and I'm flexible enough, even though I'm more than average weight, to do quite a bit of the exercises associated with Yoga. I have a hard time getting motivated. I'm not happy about that, but that's also one of my problems, I know I shouldn't put things off, but I do. Unless I'm at work, at work, I'm on point as best as I can, it's when I get home that I lose all since of motivation. Like, today, I'm off, I don't want to do anything. >_<
I know they say that the work environment promotes work to be done, so maybe the environment at your place just needs some changing. But it might not work because with places like work or school we are with other people, and what we need to do we need to do for money or such. Im sure theres some way you could get motivated but its my problem too, I would rather do videogames and stuff lol. But if work isnt fun compared to how you waste time at your house its understandable. Its like discipline and fun dont go well together lol. Perhaps if you research more on the things you want to do then you could get interested enough to research nearby locations, and then go. When you are actually there and have made the commitment to go Im sure itll be much easier, like how your work is a commitment now. Perhaps theres a better word for it than commitment, but you should understand what I mean.
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GreatLaughter



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Dardanos Immortalis
GreatLaughter








                      Made me laugh. Thank you. <3
GreatLaughter's avatar

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I know they say that the work environment promotes work to be done, so maybe the environment at your place just needs some changing. But it might not work because with places like work or school we are with other people, and what we need to do we need to do for money or such. Im sure theres some way you could get motivated but its my problem too, I would rather do videogames and stuff lol. But if work isnt fun compared to how you waste time at your house its understandable. Its like discipline and fun dont go well together lol. Perhaps if you research more on the things you want to do then you could get interested enough to research nearby locations, and then go. When you are actually there and have made the commitment to go Im sure itll be much easier, like how your work is a commitment now. Perhaps theres a better word for it than commitment, but you should understand what I mean.





                      My work isn't bad. It's factory work, but other than that, it isn't that hard, and it's getting me outta the house, which is helping alot..actually. I'm not someone that doesn't like to be around people, on the contrary, i prefer being around people. And no, I believe that work is a commitment, now I just need to commit to doing the dishes, washing the clothes before they pile up and we almost have nothing to wear, vacuuming, etc. XD
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GreatLaughter
Dardanos Immortalis
GreatLaughter








                      Made me laugh. Thank you. <3


You're welcome. It's pretty much my response to any discussion of suicide.

No matter how hard things get, You can make them better if you try hard enough. All suicide does is cause more suffering.
Admiral Dardanos's avatar

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Posties


You're god is a republican? Is that Jesus or the BigSkinny Lebowski?

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