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Demonic Lunatic

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I can't seem to do anything right..not ever.
I am a 20 year old woman with nothing going for her.
no car. no eduction past high school. Still living with her parents. love life issues. barely any friends. money issues. i hate my shitty job. health issues. im overweight. i have zero motivation.
I just want to end it all. I have too much crap on my plate and i cant take it anymore.
my anxiety just wants to get worse and worse. I cant stop these terrible thoughts in my head anymore. Things are just getting worse for me.

I just needed a bit of a rant. I didn't know where else to go.
Then work on it. Make your life worth living. Start getting that education and/or put applications in for a few job. None of these things come quickly or easily. It is a lot of hard work, but it pays off as long as you are willing to do the work.
Then prioritize and start making progress. Start looking for a job that pays better and think about biking or walking to that new job depending on how far away it is. Save that money to start off with a cheap used car that gets you to point A and point B. That solves most of your issues right there and if you wanted to you could save that money to move out of your parents place.

Love life issues? Just talk to your significant other to see if you can work through whatever issues you guys are having and if you can't just end it. Lack of friends? Then exercising and getting a new job can help with that potentially.

You could turn your life around in one day by just putting forth one step in the right direction. If you're having trouble getting motivated then why don't you look for motivation in doing what you enjoy the most?

I get most of my motivation from watching anime(as weird as it sounds). These are literally temporary issues that don't warrant a permanent solution like suicide.

Gracious Millionaire

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rageforcezero


You basically described me like 6 years ago. I don't know if it would do the same or anything for you, but I would make an appointment to see an OBGYN. I found out that a lot of my lack of motivation and depression was because of a hormone imbalance because of my being overweight. Once they got me on the right medication I felt alive again. I got more active, talkative and involved. Go in for a routine pap-smear and who knows what you might find out. Good luck to you!
rageforcezero
I can't seem to do anything right..not ever.
I am a 20 year old woman with nothing going for her.
no car. no eduction past high school. Still living with her parents. love life issues. barely any friends. money issues. i hate my shitty job. health issues. im overweight. i have zero motivation.
I just want to end it all. I have too much crap on my plate and i cant take it anymore.
my anxiety just wants to get worse and worse. I cant stop these terrible thoughts in my head anymore. Things are just getting worse for me.

I just needed a bit of a rant. I didn't know where else to go.

Not to be an a*****e, but you describing your horrible life just gave me motivation to go lift some weights.

You have changed my evening. You should feel good about it <3

Demonic Lunatic

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Gee, hope I helped.
[S]ilver[R]ose
rageforcezero


You basically described me like 6 years ago. I don't know if it would do the same or anything for you, but I would make an appointment to see an OBGYN. I found out that a lot of my lack of motivation and depression was because of a hormone imbalance because of my being overweight. Once they got me on the right medication I felt alive again. I got more active, talkative and involved. Go in for a routine pap-smear and who knows what you might find out. Good luck to you!


I'm also here to say that you also just described what I was like 6 years ago. I had a different solution to my problems.

Now I'm in a great relationship, and have been for a few years, I'm about to graduate from college, my boss said she'd help me get a full-time job come January, and I have some great friends. I still rely on my parents too much but overall I feel a lot better.

I'm telling you this because 6 years ago I couldn't leave my bed, was too afraid to leave the house, and I wanted to kill myself.

Life is always full of ups and downs and tomorrow I could lose everything but today I'm okay and I've been okay for awhile now.

You're going to be okay too. I'd love to talk to you more if you'd like someone to talk to.
rageforcezero
Gee, hope I helped.

Yeah sorry. I feel for you and my comment was supposed to sorta make you laugh somehow. I do hope you feel better though.
As some said here, you remind me of the 'old' me. I know how you feel and I've been there. It feels like there's no way out but what happened for me is that one day I looked at myself in the mirror and thought to myself that 'f*** others, it's time to make myself happy"

1) No car?
[Solution]: Since it sounds like you have a job, try your best to save up little by little. I don't know if you pay rent since you live with your parents but if you're living there for free then I'd suggest don't spend on your wants but your needs. I recommend you spend on used cars for beginners.

2) still living with parents?
[Solution] Have you tried to ask your parents for help w/ anything? How is your relationship w/ em? If you're in a good relationship w/ em, maybe somehow you can ask them to help you out a bit. Give it a try~

3) love life/money/barely any friends issue?
[Solution] Try talking to your significant other about the issue, communication is key. As for money, if you're not satisfied with your job, then you should go look for another one. You can go on craiglist.com and find one. If I were you, I'd be happy with a job since not many others could get one. Barely any friends? I've been there and honestly, it's best to have a limited amount of friends than tons. My advice is don't go chasing to make friends, let 'em come to you. Just focus on yourself. Make yourself happy. Do something you enjoy doing;whatever makes you happy.

If you ever feel down and have no one to talk to, not even yourself.
You can try out this link:
http://thequietplaceproject.com/thethoughtsroom/

^ Just spill all your emotions out til you feel better smile I still use this site once in awhile.
And lastly, you can always message me smile .
It's always good to vent out your struggles/emotions



Demonic Lunatic

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Quick Update!
I applied for a job close by as an office assistant. Bought a really cute dress to make me feel a bit better and for something to wear either to the interview(if i get one) or at work. (if i get the job) wish me luck.
I didn't see your thread the first time around, but just saw your update: go you! Good luck on the interview.

Demonic Lunatic

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Adversative
I didn't see your thread the first time around, but just saw your update: go you! Good luck on the interview.


thank you very much it helps to know someone gives a crap

Irregular Gatekeeper

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Good for you! I know it feels like a big pile of crap on your plate that just seems so strong of a cycle to break, but every small effort to start somewhere will have also a chain reaction to unravel your bad ties of the past. Motivation comes from doing things, it's not a feeling that exists prior and actually help you feel like doing something. So I'm very happy you did something of yourself so quick.

I'm glad you're feeling great and making yourself great, good luck at the interview!

Demonic Lunatic

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Trainer Aurora Rain
Good for you! I know it feels like a big pile of crap on your plate that just seems so strong of a cycle to break, but every small effort to start somewhere will have also a chain reaction to unravel your bad ties of the past. Motivation comes from doing things, it's not a feeling that exists prior and actually help you feel like doing something. So I'm very happy you did something of yourself so quick.

I'm glad you're feeling great and making yourself great, good luck at the interview!


well i havent heard anything and im sure i wont for a little while. I just applied so it may take awhile for them to even get back to me. if they even think i am good enough for the job.
BUT thank you very much for the support. I really really appreciate it.

Irregular Gatekeeper

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rageforcezero
well i havent heard anything and im sure i wont for a little while. I just applied so it may take awhile for them to even get back to me. if they even think i am good enough for the job.
BUT thank you very much for the support. I really really appreciate it.

Aww, it's not that if you're good enough for the job they'd contact you. Part of the interview process (I was in position to hire people before) is that they want to see who's eager to work, so you might have to call them first and see them in person a few times to show that you really are a great candidate! I've been in interviews myself that I wasn't hired due to someone being astoundingly better than me (*bites lip* those college graduates who's willing to be underpaid!) or because I was TOO good to work. I was rejected at a thrift store because my resume was too good.. Not saying you should make your resume look bad but each store has a procedure to try to see which employee will work hard as well as not leave. Apparently the thrift store would have had to pay me more than their budget to match wages with my previous job and consider smart girls to be easily bored or feel degraded at an entry level position.

The rule of thumb is to call once a week and you can ask the hiring manager if that's alright for you to call weekly to check on your application. It may feel bad if you don't get the job but it's all about getting your foot in the door and sometimes surprisingly they will call you right back within the same week after notifying you they found someone else already. Then again maybe you already knew this so I'm sorry if I rambled on!

I'm sure you are good enough for the job, but as a business, they want to try to get a better candidate with as little money and time as possible which can make the hiring manager blindsided to just pick whoever sounds good instead of is good at the job.

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